A Certain Distance

Chapter One

Albus Dumbledore put on his favourite robe, and smiled softly to himself. Tonight was the night that he would ask Minerva to marry him. He hummed merrily as he placed his best scarlet hat on his head. Of course he knew that there was every chance that Minerva would say no, but Albus was an optimist, and more than anything he believed in hope.

He knew all about Minerva's previous husband, after all her and Jack had been best friends for several years before friendship blossomed into something more, and they started dating. Albus knew perfectly well that Minerva's experiences with Jack had affected her deeply, and that she had many reasons to reject his proposal, but they had been dating for over two years now, and it had been far longer since her marriage ended, surely she must realise that things would be different with him.

So Albus dressed in his best clothes, took extra care with combing his hair and long beard, and dared to hope that she would accept him. At last with nervous butterflies fluttering in his stomach, he made his way to Minerva's chambers, where they had arranged to spend a quiet evening together.

Albus' chest tightened as he stood outside Minerva's door, her last marriage had ended so badly, with her and Jack almost enemies. He knew how much this had hurt her, for it had been him that had supported her through it, him that she had turned to. What if he couldn't persuade her that things would be different with him? He was nearly convinced he could, after all he loved her with all his heart, and she seemed to love him, despite the careful almost imperceptible distance she kept between them, the way she would never spend an entire night in his chambers, the way she always flitted away before he woke. Albus sighed, this was why he wanted to marry her, he was tired of waking up to an empty bed, tired of distances and barriers between them, no matter how small.

A pleasant half hour or so passed, as they sat together on Minerva's couch, chatting amicably, for Albus had no intention of rushing things, but when a comfortable silence fell between them he saw his oppourtunity.

Minerva had a dreadful feeling that she knew what was coming, as soon as Albus produced a large bunch of her favourite flowers with a flourish. When he then knelt on the floor before her, and gazed at her with eyes full of adoration, her heart sank within her. She had no wish to hurt him, he was the kindest and sweetest of men. "Oh Albus don't," She pleaded, "I don't want to hurt you."

"I have to Minerva," He said softly, as a shadow passed briefly across his face. "You know what I want, have wanted for a very long while. I love you with all my heart and soul Minerva, I want us to grow old together, to build a life together. Will you marry me, my love ?"

The love and adoration in his voice, his bright charismatic eyes, nearly broke her determination to refuse him, but she couldn't say yes, couldn't risk losing him the same way she had lost Jack. It would turn out just the same if she married Albus, they were opposites after all, it could never work.

His hand rested lightly on her's, "Minerva?" He asked softly, "Will you marry me, my darling?"

She tried to lighten the blow a little, it was almost unbearable to hurt him so. "I'm the worst type of witch, one that likes to clean. You would never put up with that Albus, just think of the state of your chambers ... the mess ...it would never work. I would drive you mad cleaning all the time."

"Well actually my dear, I do not like the mess at all, I only don't tidy because I'm far too lazy to do so," Albus twinkled merrily, and Minerva knew that the real truth was most likely because he was too busy, and she was filled with the wish to look after him. "Therefore I think you are my perfect match, and once again I ask, will you marry me?"

"Oh Albus..." Minerva said sadly. Why did he have to keep asking? Why couldn't he just be happy as they were? "There are other reasons too, other reasons why it wouldn't work ..."

"Tell me what they are my love," Albus said softly.

Minerva sighed as she saw how his eyes still sparkled hopefully up at her, he didn't deserve this, he had always been wonderful to her. Still he had asked for reasons, and she had to give them. She tried her best to be gentle, to reject him in the kindest possible way, and so she chose her words with care. "We are so very different Albus, so different, just like Jack and I were. We were opposites too, just like you and I."

"Are we truly so incompatible Minerva?" He asked gently, "Haven't we been happy these last two years?"

The sorrow she could hear in his voice wrenched at her heart, begging her to say yes. Minerva drew a deep breath, "Yes Albus we have been happy, but that is because there is a certain distance between us. We do not spend enough time together for our differences to become irritating." She was desperate to make him understand that she could not marry him, not now, not ever. "There are so many reasons why it would be a very bad idea Albus, we are so different in so many ways ..."

"Such as?" He queried with a quiver in his voice.

The pain in his blue eyes was easy to see, and the slight palor of his face filled her with guilt, and so she tried to soften the blow. "You are a night person Albus, and I am a morning person, you would soon grow tired of me waking you up all the time."

"Minerva I would gladly wake at the crack of dawn for the rest of my life, if you were there with me," he answered gently.

"Albus please, you are not making this easy," Minerva sighed. "You must see we have nothing in common ..."

"I disagree," Albus answered, "We have a love of Hogwarts, and of teaching. We are both intelligent, if I do say so myself, we both enjoy chess, and a good book, and many other things. I believe we are meant to be together my dear, come now, say you will marry me..."

Minerva sighed heavily, this was too hard, to hurt him so. "Albus you know what I mean, we are so different, just as Jack and I were, I do not want us to end up hating each other."

"Minerva I could never hate you ever, and I do not believe that you could hate me either. Despite our differences we mesh together like two parts of a whole, always have, and always will. Can you not see this?" Albus asked, as charismatic blue eyes gazed up at her, from where he still knelt on the carpet.

"Why must you be so insistent Albus? You say yourself that we are happy, then let's stay us we are."

"Just dating?" Albus asked mournfully. "Is that truly all you want Minerva? With no promise of anything more in the future?"

Minerva nodded, too upset by the sorrow in his face to trust herself with words.

He sighed heavily, "We could, but Minerva, I wish to do more than just date. I wish to be with you for my entire life, to commit to you, and have you do the same with me. There is no one else for me Minerva, you are my life. To wake up and see you there beside me, to go to sleep at night with you in my arms, to know we will always be there for each other, to think and make plans together, children ... a family ..." Imploringly his hand reached out to grasp her's lightly.

Children - it was everything she had longed for once, before Jack, before she realised that opposites could never work, that differences if they were too much and too many tore you apart once you lived together. Minerva almost wrenched her hand from his. She could not let herself believe in such dreams ever again. Her voice was harsher than she intended, as she answered, "No Albus, I can't. I'm sorry, but I will not change my mind."

He seemed to break apart before her eyes at that, as he knelt before her staring blankly at the carpet. "Minerva please ..." He whispered at last.

She was in peril of saying yes at that point, only the thought of the fights that would surely follow, if they were foolish enough to marry, stopped her. "I've made my decision Albus, you know the reasons why ..." She whispered, unable to even look at him.

"I'm not him, Minerva. I'm not your ex husband, things would be different with us ..."

"I think you should go Albus, I need to be alone." She turned away dismissively even though her heart was breaking apart inside her. "Forgive me," She whispered as the door shut behind him.

Author's Notes

This is the first thing I've published in nearly a year, my absence was caused by real life stuff and health issues, I have a ton of other stories which I'll be publishing in the next weeks. I'm also working on two other novel length stories, both of which I want to complete before publishing, both are ADMM. :)

There are another five chapters of this story, all of them written and ready to publish. So, no worries about me not completeing the story, it is finished already! Yayy! :D So, how often to update? Once a week? This story was written for camp nanowrimo, and there are several other stories to come, which were also written for camp. 40,000 words in a month, whew! ;)

I'd love to hear what people think of it so far, reviews will be loved. ;)

Anyone know of similar things to nanowrimo and camp nanowrimo? I love the inspiration that type writing gives me. I'd do nanowrimo every month if they had it - ah the insanity. ;)