Finally got my inspiration back... Btw guys, I'll be doing my homework for the rest of the week since I procrastinated too much for the past three weeks. I'm sorry this took awhile but I was stuck doing chores and homework and revision and projects... Damn it all... On happier note, at least I updated~
Since school is going to be coming back into my life again, I can't update very often. At most, I'll only be able to update weekly now.
Okay, review response time!~
Lolita Rafane- A true reader! Taking your chances just to read! You have my respect. And yeah... Stuff like school is a real jerk. I amaze you in every chapter? Honestly, I amaze myself in every chapter thinking, "How in the world did I come up with this?" I had to read Shizuo's sort-off confession over again so many times to make sure that the details were clear. Plus, he needed to sound human when he said all those stuff since he's talking about his feelings. And I'm glad you loved the previous chapter!~ ^^
... I feel so touched that you put in so much effort just to get me to write again... And don't worry about generating romance-ish stuff. I sucked at doing that kind of stuff before I improved.
Maru de Kusanagi- Yes they are!~ Thanks for reading this! ^^ Oh, and... *throws confetti* Welcome New Reviewer-san!
Misachin- Yes, well done Shizuo! Now show us your progress in this chapter! XD
"talking"
'thinking'
flashback
Disclaimer from the first chapter still applies here. Oh, and I suggest you have a piece of cloth beside you to stuff into your mouth later on in the chapter. You don't want neighbours complaining when they here you scream. ^^
Feel My Heartbeat
~ShiZaya~
People stared at him anxiously as they passed by him. Why should he bother about them though? They were none of his concern. He stood at Raira Academy's gate, leaning his back against a wall. His hands were in his coat's pockets, his head tilted upwards to face the sky. To think that he would talk to Saika about a small matter such as the one that was bothering him at the moment.
As the school bell rang, indicating the end of school, Izaya watched the students leave from the corner on his eyes. The students ignored him, too immersed in their own conversations to even notice him. As he waited for the girl, he thought about how different his behaviour at the moment was compared to the way he always acted. Rather than smirking almost all the time, he kept on frowning. Normally, he would talk a lot, despite being alone but now, he was so silent. The informant always hated anything that was unpredictable but he was contradicting himself now. He had acted so out of character, so differently that he did not know what he might do next on certain occasions.
All because of Shizuo Hewajima, Izaya Orihara became a love-struck fool.
"Eh? Izaya-san?"
Coming back to reality, he realised that Mikado Ryūgamine and Anri Sonahara were in front of him, confused looks plastered onto their faces.
"I just need to talk to Anri-chan privately," the informant told the two students.
The girl seemed surprised by the way he addressed her in such a familiar way. However, hearing that the red-eyed man needed something from her alone was a different matter entirely. What could he possibly want?
Seeing that both of the teenagers were suspicious, Izaya let out a sigh and assured them, "I just need to talk to her, that's it. She'll be back in one piece once I'm done talking to her."
Feeling no mischievous intent from the man, Anri decided to follow him as he walked away. Before she left his field of vision, she cast a reassuring glance over her shoulder to Mikado.
All the boy could do was wait for his friend to come back.
Finding a spot with very few people around, Izaya turned around to face Anri, his face showing how serious he was at the moment.
"Anything that we discuss about now is to stay private," the informant told the girl, causing her to raise her eyebrow in confusion.
What could the informant possibly want to discuss with her that made him want to keep it private?
"Well, I guess you can tell just Ryūgamine-kun," was what he said before his trademark smirk slipped onto his face.
"Tell me Sonahara-san, how you manage to love someone when you claim that you can't possibly love anyone?" he asked, bending down to Anri's level just to get a good look of the expression she made.
The very fact that Izaya knew that she liked someone was enough to make her cheeks grow a faint pink. Even though the student knew that the informant had access to most information, it still surprised her when he mentioned that he knew that she possibly liked someone. However, she wanted to play Izaya's game; if he knew everything about her, the least Anri could do was learn why he wanted such odd information.
"Before I ask answer that, can I ask you a question first?" she asked, mustering up the best serious look she could handle.
Izaya was rather reluctant to answer that question. He was totally fine with Kasuka knowing about it since the actor could read him like an open book but letting a girl, who he was barely acquainted with, know about his problem was pretty risky in his opinion. Especially when his problem was about the one who he claimed to 'hate'.
However, wasn't this how his job worked as well? If someone wanted some information from him, there had to be payment, whether it was cash or favours. It was only natural that he had to give Anri 'payment' since he was asking something rather personal from her. Besides, Izaya had information on almost everybody and he would know if the girl would say something about their conversation.
Heaving a sigh, he opted to telling the student why he asked her such a question.
"I feel conflicted. I have no idea if I hate Shizu-chan anymore," Izaya told her, standing up straight and looking to the side, avoiding Anri's stare.
Finally, it clicked in Anri's mind. She remembered that the informant said that he loved all humans before. Shizuo must have acted quite human in front of him, making Izaya wonder if he hates the blond anymore. The problem was quite similar to hers. She, Anri Sonahara, claimed that she could not love anyone on her own. However, when Mikado finally broke out of his shell and confessed his love to her, they started to date. Anri learned that she was too stubborn to even try to love again and Mikado helped her to get over that. Perhaps she could help Izaya in a way, even though he could possibly be the biggest bastard in the world.
"I think I understand Izaya-san," she told him, stopping him from explaining any further, much to his relief.
"You claim to hate Shizuo-san but something made you feel conflicted, probably because he acted very human. You claim that you love humans but you treat Shizuo-san as a 'monster'. Couldn't it possibly be that you just did not want to like him? That you were in denial?" Anri wondered, giving Izaya a questioning look.
Now that Izaya looked back to the first time they met, he thought that Anri's words might be true. When he saw Shizuo take out all those people on his own with such inhuman strength, he admired him. People would give away so many things to have the blond's strength for themselves but the bodyguard hated his strength. When the informant learned about that, he started to hate Shizuo but he still admired him. Izaya thought that the blond was selfish for hating something so useful. He had something great yet he utterly despised it. Many other people would want his strength, whether it might be for good or bad deeds. Why would you hate something that everyone wanted?
However, as the years passed, Izaya started to understand Shizuo a bit more. His strength repelled people away from him, even though he wanted to have more people who were unafraid of him. That was when Izaya came in. When he showed how unafraid he was of the bodyguard, something must have sparked in Shizuo's mind, even the informant could tell. The blond always told Izaya how much he hated him but was that all there was to it? He would never know until he hears Shizuo's side of the story.
Realising that Anri was still waiting for his answer while he was thinking, Izaya answered with a simple, "Most likely."
When he said that, the student started to smile a bit at him, causing him to raise an eyebrow in confusion.
"You're just stubborn about your true feelings, just like I how I was before."
Stubborn; Izaya thought that only his humans possessed this. However, it seemed that he felt 'stubborn' about his own feelings.
"Thanks for the information. You can go back now," he told her before walking off in another direction with his head lowered. 'I should go eat some ootoro to clear my mind.'
Anri smiled at the informants retreating figure, glad that she was able to help. Walking back to where Mikado was waiting, she wondered if she should tell him about the conversation she had with Izaya, since he said that she could discuss it with just Mikado.
No. She should probably just keep it to herself.
Izaya found himself standing in front of Russian Sushi, listening as Simon advertised his restaurant. When the dark-skinned man saw the raven head standing idly in front of his shop, he went to greet him with a smile.
"Izaya! Hungry for sushi?" the big man asked in his rough Japanese.
"Oh, Simon. Yeah, I guess I'm going to be having some ootoro," the informant told him.
"Okay, I'll go pack some," Simon said, about to dismiss himself to go back into his restaurant until Izaya spoke up again.
"I'll be having it here for today," he told the dark-skinned man, making his way inside.
Simon was a bit puzzled as to why Izaya would want to eat in his restaurant rather than eating his sushi at home. The informant knew that a certain bodyguard normally had his break in Simon's restaurant, so why was he risking it? Could it be that he forgot about it?
Whatever it was, Simon could tell that Izaya was acting differently.
Shizuo was glad that he was finally able to get back to work, since he had a lot about Izaya weighing on his mind. Beating up some people proved to relief some stress. Tom asked if there was anything wrong but the blond simply said that he just did not get enough sleep. Even though Shizuo had enjoyed his little brother's company the day before, the actor had to leave in the morning. The blond, however, was not that greedy for Kasuka's company. It was already nice enough of him to pay a visit to him.
At the moment, Shizuo and Tom were going to spend their break eating at Russian Sushi. The blond did not see Simon so he suspected that the big man was busy inside the restaurant. Upon entering, the two of them could tell that the cheerful atmosphere inside was wiped out in an instant as they all laid eyes on him. This made the ex-bartender raise an eyebrow in confusion. Most of the people were not bothered by his presence when he entered the restaurant but something else must have been different. However, the only one who did not appear to be scared out of their wits was the girl sitting with Kadota's gang in the corner, Erika Karisawa. Her eyes almost appeared to be glowing in delight. Shizuo decided to ignore her though. Scanning the whole room, his eyes landed on the raven head sitting at the counter, seemingly oblivious to everything around him. That individual kept on eating his food.
Shizuo did not even notice that his boss told him that he was going to sit somewhere else. Why was Izaya eating in Russian Sushi anyway? He normally brought his food back home, did he not?
"You need to be true to yourself Nii-san. When it comes to liking someone, pride is the first thing you need to get rid of."
Kasuka's words rung through his head. His little brother had said that to him before leaving. He was right, he needed to face it like a real man and not wait for the problem to solve itself.
As he started to walk to where Izaya was, he could tell that the atmosphere grew tenser with each step he took. Despite already standing next to him, the informant had yet to notice him. Perhaps he was just lost in his own thoughts. Shizuo sighed and took a seat next to him. It seemed that Simon was the only one who was unaffected by the atmosphere, besides Izaya. The big man asked Shizuo what sushi he wanted.
"I'll just have some fish egg sushi."
After he said that, he heard some clattering noise to his right. When he turned to the source of it, he saw Izaya still looking at his plate, chopsticks on his plate while an innocent piece of ootoro was stuck in between his lips. As the raven head slowly registered who was beside him at the moment, he chewed his ootoro very slowly and swallowed its contents as softly as he could but it still sounded too loud.
The silence felt too loud for Shizuo's liking. One would expect him to scream Izaya's name for ten seconds and try punching him or something and somehow, that seemed more comforting than all the silence. Maybe, he should try starting a conversation with the raven head. However, Izaya seemed to have the same idea.
"Izaya."
"Shizuo."
They looked at each other in disbelief, pink tainting their cheeks a bit.
"You go first."
"You go first."
Izaya's blush started to become redder. He wondered why this, which happened in cliché love stories, was happening now. He noticed how many eyes were on them and clicked his tongue in annoyance. This was not something for everyone to watch for their own entertainment. They should have this conversation somewhere else.
"Let's have this conversation outside," the informant told him, standing up from his seat, Shizuo following in suit.
Before they left the restaurant, Shizuo assured Simon that he would come back to pay for the food.
They stood in an abandoned alley, making sure that no one would disturb them. Izaya was completely clueless as to how he was going to start this conversation. He did not even know what they were going to talk about. He was just worried that his pride was going to go out of the window if anyone witnessed what might happen.
"Hey, Izaya," Shizuo began, startling the raven head for a moment.
"I hated you for so long but at the same time, I admired you. You were unafraid of me, so maybe that's why I admired you. I... I thought you were a pest in my life but know... I just... I don't know anymore Izaya..."
The informant was confused. What was the blond trying to say? His words made no sense whatsoever.
Seeing that Izaya had no clue what he meant by that, the blond took his hand and placed it over his chest, where his heart resided. The raven head's face started to flush again.
"What are you-"
"Feel my heartbeat; it's beating faster than normal."
Just by hearing those words, Izaya finally understood what Shizuo was trying to convey. The blond's action spoke a thousand words to the raven head. It all made sense now. Izaya wanted to thank all the people who helped him through this. He wanted to thank Kasuka, Namie and Anri because all their words to him made him realise what he felt for the blond. Now, Izaya was sure of it.
Shizuo Hewajima was in love with him and he, Izaya Orihara, fell in love with the other too.
R&R if you want but please refrain from writing any criticizem that sounds too harsh.
Thanks for reading~