Thank you to everybody who read or reviewed the last chapter. Also thank you to everybody who has been with this story and this series from the beginning. This is the last chapter of The Idiot's Guide to Family Bonding (although not this series).

I won't call this an epilogue because it's not. We're just time jumping a little bit.

Family are the people who will be there for you in good times and bad. You get to choose who those people are and don't let anybody else tell you otherwise.

Chapter 1 of The Idiot's Guide to Family Bonding revise third edition.

Chapter 27: Family or Something Like It

November 2259

"Do you think we have enough cupcakes?" Jim asked Ivy as she helped him put out the second layer of food for the baby shower spectacular. After having to reschedule twice due to early birth and once for Sam's hearing, they were finally having the joint baby shower (and quietly celebrating the termination of Sam's parental rights).

"Six dozen, I think that's enough." Ivy remarked. "You also have two cheesecakes the admirals can feast on if we run out. Really, there's no reason for you to suck up this much for work reasons." Ivy sounded annoyed at this point. Maybe Jim is a little paranoid.

"One of which is my girlfriend's mom and the other one is the guest of honor. And another one may or may not be your boyfriend's mom. Also, I like for as many members of the Admiralty to like me as possible, because it's really better for everyone when they're not actively trying to kill me."

"That's true. Also, I'm not dating Kevin Chan." Jim was just about to point out the obvious bite marks on Ivy's neck, but his fellow snarky Vulcan beat him to it.

"If so, why does your heart beat increase by 32.3% in his presence?" Spock said as he placed a container of chips on the table. Jim couldn't help but kiss him. He loves when Spock goes into sneaky Vulcan ninja mode. It was kind of hot.

"Keep making out with your boyfriend. It keeps him from freaking out about the number of cupcakes we have. I am not going to pick up more cupcakes. You have enough dessert to feed an army of people."

"You love driving Spock's vintage convertible. I'm sure we could put in an emergency order that you can pick up in the car. I'm just not sure six dozen is enough."

"When did you allow Ivy to drive my vehicle?" Spock asked concerned.

"When your crazy boy toy had me running around for the perfect hummus. It's probably for the best that you're not planning to have a big wedding. I think Jim would turn into bridezilla." Ivy remarked.

"We are not having anything resembling a wedding at all." Jim remarked as Spock raised an eyebrow at him. "We have a lot of Vulcans at this party and therefore I needed to have more vegetarian and vegan options. Which reminds me, do we have enough non-chocolate desserts? We definitely have more Vulcans here than what was planned."

"Arlene does work at the Vulcan Embassy." Spock pointed out in a way that made Jim want to give him a discrete Vulcan kiss. Vulcan style kisses were wonderful when you were trying to pretend you were not dating. And honestly, they were not pretending that hard.

"Who apparently don't understand the concept of RSVPing." Jim said as he let go of Spock's hand. "Do you think we need more vegetarian options?"

Obviously, Jim was worried. He hasn't been this concerned about an event since his first state dinner. He wanted Arlene and Nhi to have a good baby shower. Especially Arlene who spent the last week battling her bastard ex-boyfriend in Family Court. It should've been an open and shut case considering how many charges were lobbied against Sam now, but Sam just dragged it out as long as possible.

"Hey big sister, please come calm down your fiancé." Ivy yelled. Jim is just going to hope that everybody who doesn't know about him just assumes that Ivy is referring to Spock. Vulcans can be nervous or at least Spock can be.

"He is not my fiancé." Nyota remarked as she walked to him. She also removed the tray of cupcakes that he had been holding.

"But you are both planning on getting married?"

"Eventually." Nyota and Jim responded simultaneously.

"In a couple years," Nyota added.

"Unless we have to deal with assholes." Jim said, pointing to the hordes of Admiralty that were ignoring him from the kitchen. He could see them. They couldn't see him.

"Total fiancé." Ivy remarked.

"Maybe - definitely." Jim said as he went over to kiss. Nyota then Spock.

"I believe it would be most advisable to put out the cupcakes." Spock remarked

"Yes. Before that hungry masses start biting the furniture and you three have sex on the kitchen table." It was a really tempting idea, but the shower came first.

Okay, Jamie started screaming her 'I need a new diaper' cry and Jim was off. The shower was a hit if you ignored the fact that Peter dropped an entire tray of raspberry blue cupcakes on the pristine white carpet. Which of course resulted in them running out of cupcakes. He knew he should've ordered more.

December 2259

Nyota stared at the motionless monitor, part of her wishing for it to start beeping once more. She held on to her father's now cooling hand unable to let go. He gave his last breath 42 minutes ago and yet she hasn't let go of his hand. Nyota hasn't cried either, not one tear. Ivy has been practically inconsolable with Jim wrapped around her. Her boyfriend is going to need a new shirt. De'bor'ah sat on the other side of Ivy, holding her other hand. There were tear tracks running down both cheeks, but Nyota sat there numbly with dry eyes and a mind on autopilot.

Nyota and her partners have been in Pretoria for two weeks and by her father's side for just as long. He couldn't speak. He couldn't recognize her, not at this point in the progression of the disease. Maybe she should have come sooner, but she wasn't ready for the long goodbye. Nyota wasn't even ready to be here now, but time was up. Her father's time was up and yet she wasn't ready to deal with this.

Her father was dead. She hated him and she loved him. She needed him to understand her choices. She didn't need his blessing, but some part of her wanted it all the same. Their last conversation was so angry and now he really is gone and there was no fixing it. She wanted to say the words that would never be said. And yet the tears could not come.

She just sits here now and listens to Ivy cry as Spock makes the arrangements. Nyota remembers doing the same for Spock. When Amanda died, neither he nor his father were ready to deal with the reality of her death. So, she handled it and now Spock was doing the same for her. She didn't think it was possible to fall in love with him more until that moment.

She's thankful for Spock being there because she's not ready to deal with the reality of her father's death despite knowing that it was coming for weeks. Looking at patterns in choosing funeral venues would make it too real. Spock can deal with funeral planning and hospice. She can't, she really can't.

She doesn't look at the clock, not really. Time seems to stand still as if it doesn't exist or maybe it just slows to a state of nonexistence. She doesn't really register anything until they come to take the body away a.k.a. forcing her to finally let go. Even then they give her, De'bor'ah, and Ivy a few minutes to say goodbye.

Ivy's goodbye was tearful broken words and screaming. She's pretty sure Ivy told their father to go fuck himself at least three times. She thinks the book that her therapist gave her to help prepare for the grieving process said that sort of thing is okay. Of course, Nyota never could bring herself to read beyond the introduction to The Idiot's Guide to Grief and Mourning. Maybe that would be helpful right now.

De'bor'ah was calmer, more resigned. She guessed that comes with age and surviving the type of life De'bor'ah had. Pain is nothing new to her and neither was death. It never was.

Nyota was the last to leave. Maybe because she couldn't figure out what to say or maybe it was because she couldn't quite bring herself to leave. She could hear Spock telling them to give her another few minutes.

"I honestly don't know what to say to you." Nyota began. "I hated you for so long. I blamed you for mom going away. I blamed you for fucking around. You hurt so many people. You used Ivy to get my boyfriend arrested. I know you weren't well and haven't been for a while. I also know that you were not well because of choices you made, but I forgive you." The words finally flow out of her as if they were a river. She's not forgiving him for him. She's not even sure if it's for herself, but she can't keep the anger inside of her forever. She lets go of the pain for Ivy, who is devastated, and De'bor'ah, who is in pain, but not for him.

She doesn't really remember what happened during the next few minutes. Although Spock must have let her out of the room and into the back of a cab. She's pretty sure Jim was in another with Ivy and De'bor'ah or maybe they went somewhere else. Nyota is not sure. She wasn't really paying attention to anything but Spock.

"I'm surprised you haven't asked me if I'm okay yet." Nyota finally spoke when they made it back to their hotel room. She couldn't bring herself to stay at her father's house. Too many memories.

"Such a question would be illogical and counterproductive. I am aware you are not functioning optimally," Spock said as he led her to the bed. Nyota just wanted to crawl inside and never get out.

"Since you can feel everything I am feeling because of the bond?" Nyota asked as Spock lay down beside her."

"Yes," Spock told her as he placed an arm around her.

Nyota was trying to do the shielding techniques, but she can't right now because she feels everything and nothing. She needs to cry and she can't.

"But also, I understand your current state of upheaval because I remember my emotional state when I lost my mother." Spock wrapped his arm around her in an embrace "I understand any definition of the word fine or okay would not be applicable to your state of being now." He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Just because you did not cry does not mean that you do not feel your father's death. Perhaps it means that you feel it too much. The book that Dr. Caraballo gave you states that everybody grieves differently. Tears are not necessary." Nyota didn't say anything. She just allowed Spock to stroke her hair until she fell asleep.

The next few days were long, agonizing, and seemed to go in slow motion. Spock planed the funeral. She didn't even have to give him funeral colors. She loved him for that. Jim kept her and Ivy fed. He also kept them clean, forcing both to shower and change after the first 24 hours of mourning. She really had no appetite, but Jim kept finding things that she would eat. Through the entire process, she fell in love with him just a little bit more.

xxxx

The funeral was awful. There were way too many people coming up to her and telling her what a nice man her father was when all she wanted to do was tell them the awful truth. But she didn't. What was the point of speaking ill of the dead? Her therapist told her that funerals are for the living and maybe Ivy and De'bor'ah needed her to pretend for a little bit.

Surprisingly enough her half-brothers were there. Nyota knows that they came for her and Ivy, because honestly, they probably were fighting the urge to spit on their former stepfather's grave. (Thankfully, he was cremated, so that wouldn't be an issue.)

These were not the circumstances that she wanted her stepbrothers to meet Jim, but here they were. Jim was a hit because he never left her side unless he was switching with Spock to take care of Ivy. Yes, her boyfriends traded off who would look after her little sister.

She could hear family members whispering about her close relationship with Jim when she already had a boyfriend, but she didn't care. If they were important, they would've known the truth. She had other things to deal with.

xxx

A week later, a.k.a. the day before Christmas, they were back in San Francisco with her father's ashes (De'bor'ah stayed behind in Pretoria). Part of her was surprised that her father asked for his ashes to be spread on the green of Starfleet Academy (and for De'bor'ah to not be part of it). Considering he was so anti-Starfleet in the end, Nyota is surprised he never changed that.

"Maybe, he chose this to be his final resting place because he had good memories here." Jim suggested as he took the lid off the urn.

"Or maybe he wants to haunt the campus for my entire time here." Ivy stated as she grabbed a handful of ashes.

"It is illogical to assume that his essence…" Spock started to say, but Ivy interrupted.

"I was joking. It's a perfectly human thing to joke at funerals."

"Because you either laugh or cry. And laughter is more productive." Jim remarked as he placed her father's urn in front of her. Nyota wordlessly grabbed a handful of ashes. She said nothing as she opened her palm and allowed the wind to carry her father away. She and Ivy repeated the process multiple times until there was nothing left.

No, that wasn't true. Jim and Spock stood behind them the entire time making sure neither would falter. In life, her father never showed her what love truly was. Through his death, Nyota saw the truth. She had two people who loved her unconditionally, who would be by her side through funerals and family chaos. She had two people who didn't expect her to be strong or to carry the entire world on her shoulders. She had two people who made her feel safe, to the point where when they got home that night, she finally did cry.

January 5, 2260

Spock lay in bed next to a still naked Jim wrapped around him. Since Ivy has already moved into her new private dorm room for this semester and Arlene is spending the night at her new boyfriend's residence with children in tow, James saw no point in getting dressed from the evening before. (Although Spock is sure in Jim's case, it is because Spock had the temperature in the room high enough that only tank tops were practical for his lovers). Or maybe James is just too exhausted.

January 4 was always emotionally draining for James and most likely his least favorite day of the year, if it were logical to have a least favorite day. Considering the many tragic experiences that James has encountered over the years, the fact that January 4 is his least favorite day points to how many tragic emotions are tied into the date. The only thing outside the norm that James did yesterday was call Winona. After his hour-long phone call with his mother left James in tears, he was led to the bedroom where Spock and Nyota took care of him. Now that Jamie could sleep through the night and did not need constant monitoring, their bedroom activities were no longer restricted to special occasions.

Therefore, he was surprised to see Nyota walk into their bedroom with two cupcakes with candles on top along with pancakes (thankfully they were not crepes), fresh berries and chocolate with cream in a portion size that would sustain three individuals. He distinctly remembered an extended conversation about not celebrating Jim's birthday. Spock sent out a memo last year, instructing people not to wish their Captain a 'happy birthday'.

"You know I love breakfast in bed, especially when at least two thirds of us are not wearing any clothing, but I think I have a strict rule against anything involving candles anywhere near the week of January 4." Jim responded.

"So, I know you don't want to celebrate your birthday, but today's not your birthday. And you never turn down a cupcake." Nyota also kissed Jim on his cheek after speaking. Or at least she tried to. James tilted his head just enough to meet her lips.

"Because it happens to be the same day that my dad died." James said as he pulled away. "And really we want to avoid all talk of dead dads right now." The last month had been very difficult for Nyota. Between watching her father die and going through the aftereffects of his death, his girlfriend was emotionally and physically drained. The fact that the new semester is starting next week, added to her stress.

"I thank you for not mentioning that because it hasn't even been a month yet." And yet, Nyota has made more progress than he did during the first month after his mother's death. It probably helped that she is seeing a therapist.

"Yet you still brought me a cupcake with a candle on it. Two cupcakes, actually."

"The day after your birthday, not on your actual birthday. I know I've been an emotionless bitch for the last couple of weeks. And I thank you both for loving me enough to deal with it. But I owe you both. The birthday cupcakes and pancakes are my way of saying thank you for putting up with me through this mess." Nyota said as she placed the cupcake in Jim's hand and then gently kissed him on the lips once more.

"Berry kisses, my favorite. Your dad died. It's okay for you to be upset. It's also okay for you to not bounce back to where you were before. It takes time. We will be here for you no matter what." Jim reassured her as he stroked her cheek.

"But I still want to thank both of you. That's why the other birthday cupcake is for Spock." Nyota said as she gave Spock his cupcake along with a kiss. She tasted of James and berries, Spock's preferred combination.

"That's right, tomorrow you hit the big 30. You are an old Vulcan now." James punctuated his words with a kiss. He tasted of Nyota and berries, his other favorite flavor.

"Actually, the Vulcan life expectancy is at least two times that of a human. Therefore…" Spock was silenced by Nyota's fingers against his lips.

"Okay, we don't talk about death on birthdays." Nyota remarked.

"That's going to be difficult considering my birthday is the same day as when my father died." Jim joked, Spock thinks. He is still mastering human humor.

"I propose a new family tradition, we split the difference between your two birthdays and celebrate both of your birthday is on January 5." Of course, at this moment Nyota placed her finger in the frosting and then placed her finger at James lips. "Private celebration of course.

"Because cupcakes do not make me feel guilty, I like this proposal." James said as he licked the frosting off Nyota's fingers.

"Vulcans do not celebrate birthdays." But I am not necessarily opposed to watching James lick frosting off your fingers all day.

"But you do love a good chocolate raspberry buttercream Cupcake." Nyota said handing the other cupcake to Spock, just as she placed the rest of breakfasts on a nearby table. For some reason, she grabbed the container of chocolate with cream

"These are good cupcakes. I can't wait to lick the rest of it off your…" That's when James stopped talking and Spock looked at Nyota, who was currently disrobing. Underneath her white fluffy robe was black and red lace panties set that accentuated her curves perfectly.

"Actually, Jim that's what I brought the whipped cream for."

"I fucking love you. Is this going to be another birthday tradition? Because I am so about new traditions." Jim said as he grabbed the aerosol canister from Nyota.

"Yes." Nyota answered.

"I think we can give this January 5 thing a shot." James answered with a lascivious grin as he licked his lips in anticipation.

"Logical."

Yes, they did have to get a new comforter set because blueberry syrup and chocolate with cream stains are very difficult to remove from fabric but it was a very productive non-birthday.

February 2260

Jim doesn't exactly have the best opinions of the Starfleet dress uniform. It probably has something to do with the fact that something bad usually happens when he's wearing one such as getting demoted or facing the firing squad that is his former high school and then finding out that his pseudo-sister was attacked in their own home. Today he was putting the uniform on, and remembering all those who lost their life one year ago today.

"You look good." Nyota said, coming up behind him to adjust his hat. She was already dressed impeccably.

"I hate the dress uniform. Except on you and possibly Spock." Jim remarked with a leer. He was really looking forward to taking it off Nyota and or Spock later.

"It is illogical to hate any uniform." Spock was also dressed and looked even better than last time. He thinks that the replacement uniform from the paint incident was even more formfitting than the last one is such a thing were possible.

"You wear the regular female uniform for a couple of hours in a possible combat situation and see how you feel. At least the dress uniform has pants." Nyota remarked.

"I don't have the legs for it." Jim joked. Maybe he could just talk them into staying here. He really did not want to go on stage and talk about everybody who died last year, especially because no matter how much therapy he goes through, a part of him still blames himself for what happened. Especially for Chris's death, even if everyone tells him otherwise.

"You're fidgeting. Why are you fidgeting? You already have your introductory remarks together. You do already have your remarks ready?" Nyota asked slightly worried.

"He does. I proofread them earlier." Spock reassured as he walked into the room looking edible. "I found your anecdote regarding your first dinner at the Pike household fascinating.

"Which totally explains why it was the only thing you left intact." Jim remarked.

Spock really took the red pen to his original speech, mostly to get rid of Jim's snarky and maybe slightly inappropriate remarks. Looking back on it now, it probably wouldn't be right to go on a rant about now disgraced Admiral Marcus. That would just be out of place for the event. Thankfully, Jim only had the three-minute introduction and would not have to give his own remarks. At least not this time. He's already been warned that he would have to give a full speech at the Enterprise re-christening when the ship is relaunched in May. That was for the best because Jim really felt like throwing up right now.

"I hate memorials. Too many bad childhood memories." Like Winona throwing up on his shoes when he was six or Sam trying to trade him to an ambassador from a planet Jim can't even remember to get his dad back. Of course, Jim did not tell his partners that because they already knew most of Jim's Kelvin Memorial war stories.

"It is illogical to despise any type of event." Spock remarked as he pulled James hand in for a Vulcan style kiss. Jim decided to move in for a human one.

"Yes, I'm totally being an illogical human right now. "Jim said pulling away "Tell me again why we're planning to spend a three-day weekend in the Caribbean, a three-day weekend that just happens to coincide with the second anniversary of the battle of Vulcan?" That way Spock can avoid attending any embassy or Starfleet sponsored remembrance ceremonies, but the Vulcan is never going to say that out loud.

"I can understand why you find this event distressing." Spock responded without acknowledging his own apprehension, just as predicted.

"Last year was awful for you, but imagine going through it as a small child. Also, your dad is an expert at diplomatic bullshit. Winona was never that skilled which makes the whole thing nightmare inducing. Now, KJ and Ariel are even younger than me at my first memorial and they are going to have to go through this for a long time or until something bigger happens and people forget about it. They shouldn't be going through this. Especially because…" I fucked up and Chris saved my ass and paid the ultimate price in the process.

"The Admiral is not Winona and the twins are not you. And this is not your fault. You'll do fine." Nyota told him as she moved in for a kiss.

"I know, I'm just worried." Jim entwined his fingers with Nyota us.

"I would tell you that worrying is illogical, but you will do so regardless of our efforts to calm you down." Spock grabs his other hand.

"But you can try kissing again. Kissing really keeps me calm. Other activities would keep me calm too, but we have a car picking us up in 10 minutes."

And yes, they did make the car just five minutes late. Jim may have got a little carried away and misplaced Spock's hat. Halfway through the ceremony. Jim realized that his fears were completely unfounded. This was not a repeat of the Kelvin memorials of his youth. Nhi wasn't behaving anything like Winona did. There was no hysterical crying the moment the program started. He didn't have to deal with someone blaming him for what happened like Sam blaming him for their dad's death. Of course, that was most likely because Christine already left on her new assignment that just happens to be on the other side of the quadrant.

Also, Nhi was protective of her kids in a way that Winona was not. Nhi did not allow the babies to be on the stage where Jim spent way too much time there as a kid. Nyota and Spock ended up holding the babies while they were speaking. Nhi wouldn't let the paparazzi get anywhere near the babies and Jim is pretty sure his first words were on the Internet somewhere.

The paparazzi also didn't get a tear streaked speech which became a Winona trademark until Tarsus happened. Nhi did lose her husband but she wasn't wallowing in grief. (It helped that she saw a therapist twice a week and Jim had no trouble babysitting during that time.) She was finding purpose in making Starfleet the place it was supposed to be and that was something Winona never really had. Nhi was working her ass off making sure that the circumstances that led to Chris's death would not happen again. That's quite a feat considering she just got back from maternity leave. Her speech was about her desire for Starfleet to live up to its original promise. Winona's speeches were always about how much she missed her husband.

So, this event was not a complete disaster. It went better than almost every single Kelvin event he was ever forced to go to. Although somehow Admiral Barnett's wife, Jane, still ended up changing the diapers of the twins because there are some constants in the universe.

March 2260

"I can't believe we're spending our one year anniversary at Pizza Forest of all places." Nyota heard Jim lament beside her.

"I'm sorry I agreed to babysit Peter and several of his young Vulcan friends. I've really got the dates mixed up." Jim glared at her.

"Okay, Ivy got back at me for telling De'bo'rah about us catching her with Kevin and she purposely moved my engagement reminder to next week and arranged for us to spend the day watching small children." And by catching her with Kevin, Nyota means walking in on her sister performing fellatio on her boyfriend. Nyota is still traumatized and felt it was best for De'bor'ah to know what was going on. Nyota liked Kevin, but her sister was barely 18.

"I'm all for friendly sibling pranks," especially because his own brother is now serving a life sentence for trying to kill him last year. "At least the pizza's good." And she was still slightly shocked that a pizza place with an electronic animal had gourmet pizza.

"And after all the media attention the last couple of weeks, maybe it's good for Peter to just be a kid for a little while." Nyota remarked.

"Very true. Besides, this way I can hold your hand under the table without risking being caught by the paparazzi." Jim joked. "Also, now I have pictures of baby Vulcans playing in a ball pit."

"I think we lost Spock in the ball pit." Nyota said, pointing to Spock, who was currently being pelted with balls by small children.

"I think I'm more shocked at the fact that Peter got Spock in the ball pit. You know he's not going to be happy later."

"That's because Uncle Spock is his favorite. Doing whatever his favorite nephew wants him to do always makes him happy. If he is willing to acknowledge being happy." Jim remarked.

"I'm sorry that our champagne dinner is not happening."

"I'm not. This place has artisan beer and I always have a Plan B." Jim smirked.

"What's your plan B?" Nyota asked.

"We will be returning the kids to their parents in an hour and there's champagne chilling at home."

"That does have some interesting possibilities."

"In the meantime, have a cupcake." Jim said passing the cupcake to her. It was one of those gourmet cupcakes with decorations that looked real.

"That looks like an actual engagement ring. Which bakery did you go to?" Nyota said just as she removed the ring from the frosting.

"That's because it is a real ring." That's when she noticed that Ivy was sitting at the table behind them recording everything. Why did she have a feeling this was a total set up?

"Is this your way of proposing?" She asked. That was also when she realized Spock was watching from the ball pit. This was a set up.

"You already proposed when the twins were born. I'm just getting you the ring." Jim said as he grabbed the ring from her to place it on her finger.

"You know I would've strangled you if I had swallowed this. Or if one of the kids did. But it is a pretty ring." It was a vintage Tiffany's engagement ring that had the set inlaid which meant she could wear it on duty.

"That's why I kept your cupcakes segregated from the others."

"Smart man. Give me a paper towel to get rid of the frosting and you have a deal."

"Perfect."

"Although, you know it's not happening until after the five-year mission." Unless Starfleet tries to take you away from us. She thought to herself.

"Of course."

April 2260 a.k.a. the second anniversary of the destruction of Vulcan

Spock attempted to meditate while his partners were still sleeping. As usual Spock woke up several hours before his partners. Usually he uses this fact to his advantage by assisting Arlene with Jamie or preparing breakfast for the family. However, they were in a villa in Puerto Rico (the part of the island that survived global warming) so meditation was the most productive use of his early-morning time.

He assumed going out to the porch so he could be surrounded by the ocean would help him focus. The sea was still something of a novelty to him due to growing up on a desert planet. Even his time in San Francisco by the Bay did not lessen his wonderment at being near the water. There was something peaceful, almost serene about the sound of the waves. Spock could almost forget about what this day is. And yet he could not, and therefore meditation was impossible. Instead, he stood on the balcony watching the ocean, remembering the first time Amanda took him to a beach as a child.

"I never thought I would find you daydreaming on the balcony." Jim said dressed in only boxer shorts as he handed Spock a container of something that was highly chocolate with a high brandy content.

"I was trying to meditate, but I was unable to reach a state of calm."

"So, you decided to go with the human style? Drink your chocolate. You'll feel better." Jim stated as he placed an arm around Spock.

"It is 7:23 AM local time. It is too early to indulge in substances that could incapacitate." Spock remarked, not taking a drink.

"I seem to remember you eating a whole container of chocolate with cream on our not a birthday by licking it off me and Nyota, for breakfast, no less." That was a very pleasant memory. "Besides, it's always 5 o'clock somewhere."

"Actually, since it is 7:24 AM local time. It is not 5 o'clock somewhere. It is 4:54 PM in Mumbai."

"Close enough. If there was ever a day to get drunk before 8 AM, it would be today. Your mom died on this day two years ago, so I feel like maybe you would like to start the day with something really chocolate and really alcoholic." James placed the kiss on Spock's neck.

"You did not get inebriated on the anniversary of your father's death." Spock remarked.

"Bones has some Academy stories, but we had small children around and I had to act like a functional adult. Also, it's been 27 years. It helped that I wasn't alone this year, which is good because Bones makes awful company on the bad days." James explained.

"Is this why you also did not imbibe vast quantities of alcohol on the anniversary of Admiral Christopher Pike's passing?" Spock asked.

"In that case we engaged in my other favorite coping mechanism, sex after the ceremony."

"Are you out here getting Spock chocolate drunk before 8 AM?" Nyota asked as she walked out to join them dressed in only a robe.

"And in December I will be getting you normal drunk before 8 AM or maybe I'll just bring you crepes. Crepes seems to be your comfort food." Spock frowned slightly at the mention of that breakfast food.

"Considering we will be in space in December, I think alcohol might be easier to come by then decent crapes." Nyota remarked. Replicators always left much to be desired. The replicated Enterprise crepes were nowhere near as good as the ones Amanda made when he was a child.

"I'm working on the replicator program." Jim said with a smirk.

"Amanda made excellent crepes. Not often, but on special occasions. January 6 being one of these occasions. No one's crepes taste like hers." It would be ridiculous to try.

"No one else ever will." Jim said out loud. As both Nyota and Jim wrapped themselves around him, he thought that his earlier statement was mental only, but he must've been projecting because both of his lovers could hear him.

"It's okay to miss her. She was your mom." Nyota said taking a drink of the chocolate concoction Jim brought him.

"How much brandy did you put in this?" Nyota asked, Jim.

"Enough to get you wasted and Spock open to talking about his feelings."

"I do not need chocolate laced alcohol to talk about my feelings. Not with you and Nyota at least."

"That's good." Nyota remarked.

"I called for room service to bring up pancakes. While we're waiting for food, you can tell us more stories about Amanda's superior cooking skills. Winona could burn water, which is why I'm pretty sure I learned to cook at five."

"I always preferred her grilled cheese and tomato soup." Spock told his boyfriend and girlfriend as he began to share various stories about Amanda from his childhood. By the time the food arrived, he felt almost at peace. He will always miss his mother, but at least he wasn't alone in his grief and that was enough.

Late April 2260

James Tiberius Kirk is not a wedding person. A baby shower person, yes, but those were practical and had games. He kicks ass on pin the diaper on the baby. Also, video files of tipsy admirals could come in handy later.

Weddings were nowhere near as fun. Especially this wedding which was taken over by protocol and Jane Barnett. There were diplomats everywhere and no fun in sight. This thing did not even have a DJ. Also, according to the seating chart he would be sitting at the Starfleet Captain's table which may be torturous considering he will be the baby of the bunch. There were ice sculptures. Why on earth were ice sculptures there? Even though it was April, it was also 30°C outside. He's not sure that they will make it to the reception. He's sure Jane was responsible.

The whole thing made him thankful that his girlfriend is not a wedding person either and he already managed to do the Vulcan equivalent of a Risa quickie wedding with Spock already. So at least he'll never have participated in one of these overly pretentious events at a position higher than best man. He is sure Jane Barnett is sad about that because he's pretty sure she already has a binder together.

Jim was especially thankful he didn't even have to be an usher like Spock at the Starfleet hijacked affair. Maybe being the secret fiancé of the bride's daughter had some advantages. Being the public boyfriend, Spock had to participate in the wedding festivities and Jim would get to hang out by the pre-wedding canopies in a good suit.

"Could you please zip me up?" Nyota said as she walked out of the bridesmaid changing area wearing her lilac bridesmaid gown. Nyota looked good in the color. Another advantage of not being in the actual bridal party is he could hang out with Nyota in the bridesmaid suite as she got ready. He may even get a few kisses with Ivy keeping Sarah's cousin occupied elsewhere.

"I don't know whether I should be upset that Sarah said no dress uniforms or be happy about it. You look really good in an actual suit." Nyota remarked as she straightened out his tie.

"And you look great in that dress" So much that Jim really wanted to be unzipping it instead of the other way around.

"Sarah really did choose great colors." Jim is pretty sure Jane chose the colors, but he wasn't going to say anything.

"Are you ready for this wedding?" Jim asked instead.

"The other two bridesmaids are MIA so I'm going to have to go with no." Nyota joke.

"Your sister and Sarah's cousin went to find emergency pantyhose. There was an accident." Jim explained.

"Well, as long as that's the worst thing that happens today, then we will be okay." Nyota said fidgeting with her bouquet.

"Okay, you're nervous." Jim said, taking the bouquet from her before she could seriously damage the flowers."

"I am not nervous."

"Yes, you are. You were 30 seconds from destroying your bouquet and I'm not sure if the wedding planner brought extra. Are you worried about your mom getting remarried?" Jim asked.

"If it was anyone else, I think I would be. But Sarah and my mom have been in love with each other for a really long time. This is just making that official."

"I think you told me repeatedly that the piece of paper doesn't make a family which is why you won't go to the courthouse with me before the start of the five-year mission."

"If we survive the five-year mission with sanity intact, then the marriage license really will be just a piece of paper."

"True."

"At the same time growing up, I used to dream about this happening. I kind of always imagined that this would happen, that I would get my real family."

"And now it's happening. You got your wish." Jim said as he gently kissed Nyota on her lips.

"No, I already have my family. I've had it for a while. You and Spock are my family." Nyota said as she kissed him back. Unfortunately, that was the moment that Ivy and the cousin arrived, which resulted in him being kicked out to enjoy the pre-wedding canopies.

The wedding was good. Nobody objected, although it probably helped that the Admiral's ex-girlfriend came with Nhi as her date and Jim is not going to ask if that is a just friends thing. He doesn't want to know. Thankfully, no hostile forces landed in the foyer and started shooting up the place. Also, none of the foreign dignitaries invited started shooting during or after the ceremony.

The worst that happened was Peter decided to take off his shoes during the middle of the ceremony and toss the ring pillow at Spock. Jim wonders if Sarah is now regretting her decision to make Peter the ringbearer/flower boy. Arlene who was posing as his date for this event couldn't stop laughing.

The reception was also going well so far except he kind of really wished he was at a completely different table. Because nobody knew that he was dating the bride's daughter, he did not get to sit with his boyfriend and girlfriend at the family table, but instead was at the Starfleet Captains' table. The whole thing made him kind of glad that he skipped working under another Captain. It probably would have ended in tears and writeups otherwise.

Also, because he was the secret boyfriend, he did not need to speak like everyone else sitting at the family table. Which is good because Jim is not sure he's going to ever be able to top Spock's reading of pre-reform Vulcan love poetry. Spock's voice can be indecent sometimes. Jim could listen to him read the phone book and still get hard. Thankfully, Sarah went with the long table cloths.

As much as Jim wanted to send Spock a text message asking him to meet him in the men's room in 10 minutes, he needed to stay for Nyota's speech. His girlfriend has been working on it for weeks and he knew that she was nervous. The napkin in front of her is in shreds and Jim is pretty sure she's on her third glass of wine.

"I literally speak dozens of languages and yet I wasn't sure how to begin this toast. Ask my boyfriend and he will tell you how many iterations of this speech I went through. I just wanted everything to be perfect for my two moms. And yes, you are both my mom and have been for a really long time." Nyota said turning to Sarah and the Admiral.

"I really love you both and I'm glad that you found one another. Growing up, I thought of Sarah as my other mother and I'm happy that today it's now official." It was obvious that Sarah was tearing up at this point.

"Being a child of divorce, at some point in my adolescence I stopped believing that love and happy endings were real. Again, my boyfriend will confirm this." The audience laughed and Sarah smirked at him.

"Thankfully, as an adult, I discovered that I was wrong. Despite how badly things went last time for my mom, I'm glad you never stopped believing and you gave Sarah a real chance. You were friends long before you were lovers and maybe that's the secret to your success. If you want to really be in love with someone for the rest of your life, make sure they are your best friend first. You two taught me that. Thankfully, I followed your example." The Admiral smiled at Spock, but Sarah was smiling at him.

"I love you both and I wish you all the happiness in the universe." Nyota said as she raised her glass. "Maybe I'll be fortunate enough to find love as strong as yours. To the happy couple."

As Jim raised his glass in solidarity, he realized that with Spock and Nyota he already had that, even if no one else realized he did. That was enough.

May 2260

The desert ride to visit Winona was almost becoming normal for Nyota. This was the fifth time that Spock and Nyota have accompanied Jim on this trip, the last time being just two months ago. Of course, this time they brought Peter, Arlene, and baby Jamie along. This would also be the last time Jim would be seeing his mother in person for the next five years (barring something catastrophic and Nyota was hoping that they would have an easy five-year mission without any major catastrophes).

The Enterprise rechristening was only days away. With the rechristening came the start of the five-year mission. She was excited and terrified all at the same time. She was going to miss spending every day with the kids, but she was looking forward to doing something other than teaching remedial Romulan to freshman that really didn't care.

Of course, there were a lot of things that you had to do to get ready to leave the planet for five years. Suitcases were packed and the boxes were prepared for storage. Arlene would be taking over the master suite once they left and they knew it was just a matter of time before her fiancé of exactly 2 days moved in. It would be good because at least the apartment wouldn't be empty while they were gone.

They even sat Peter down and explained to him that they would be going away in space for a while, but they would call and write him all the time. Peter cried a lot. Then Jim got him a stuffed Spock because Starfleet had licensed their likeness and it was okay. Nyota wished she had a mommy stuffed animal growing up, because maybe it would have made the separation easier when she was little. Also, maybe Peter stopped crying when he found out that they would see each other in a couple of months at his mom's wedding to his other favorite Vulcan. Nyota thinks that might be the main reason why Peter's okay with Arlene getting married and getting a stepdad.

Visiting Winona was their last loose end that needed to be handled before leaving. Nyota felt like Jim was saving it for the last because they weren't sure which version of Winona they would get. On two visits, Nyota was Jim's classmate that he has had a crush on forever. One time she remembered that Nyota was Jim's fiancé and the other time Winona didn't remember her at all and thought that Jim was George. That was the last visit in March. So of course, Jim was worried and she could feel it.

When they got there, it was obvious that Jim had nothing to worry about. Thankfully, this time Winona recognized that Jim was her son. Even better, she remembered he was 27 and engaged/bonded to two people. She also remembered that Arlene was Sam's ex-girlfriend and played grandmother. Winona adored Peter and thankfully did not think that he was an adolescent Jim. Jim and all the doctors were worried about that possibility since Peter looks almost exactly like Jim at that age.

The worst thing that happened was Winona referring to Jim as Peter's dad, instead of Sam. Considering that all traces of Sam have been obliterated from Peter's birth certificate that wasn't necessarily a terrible thing. Honestly, they all wanted to forget that Sam even existed at this point. So overall, it was a good visit.

Nyota is not exactly sure how it happened, but she ended up being the last to leave Winona. Okay, Jamie needed a diaper change and Peter somehow managed to cover himself, Jim, and Spock in finger paint.

"You'll make sure that my baby comes back?" Winona asked just as Nyota was getting ready to leave.

"Always." She said giving Winona a final hug before leaving. She manages to find Jim standing in front of the restroom with the green paint successfully out of his hair.

"I'm sorry I left you in there alone. I just needed a moment." Jim tells her.

"And a washcloth," Nyota joked. That's when she noticed Jim's red eyes, "Were you crying?" It was obvious.

"With Spock in the men's room while Peter was scrubbing the paint off his hands. You know, there are some advantages to having a partner that has the same gender as you." Jim said with half a smile.

"I have no trouble sneaking into the men's room if you need me."

"I know. You have for less benevolent needs. If there wasn't a three-year-old in the men's room right now, I would suggest just doing that"

"Later. I think things went well today."

"By Winona standards anyways. In some ways that makes it worse. She knows where I'm going and she knows that I may not make it back." Nyota could hear the concern in Jim's voice.

"Oh, you'll make it back. I guarantee it." Nyota quickly looked around to see that they're alone before giving Jim a quick kiss on the lips. Of course, it's at that moment that an extremely hyper 3 ½ year old managed to run right into them.

"You must allow me to remove the paint from your hair." Spock called from behind. That's when Jim bent down to grab Peter.

"I think you look cute with green hair, but I'm not sure what your mom or Uncle Spock would think so we're going to have to wash it out." Jim said as he carried Peter into the restroom and Nyota followed behind. It's their own fault for not having a family restroom. "You know I think I'm going to miss this in a couple of weeks."

She would too. But at least she was taking some of her family with her. She would also make sure that Jamie and Peter knew that they were loved even if half their family was light years away.

Technically, the official rechristening for Enterprise would be the next day, but James and Spock felt it prudent to move into their quarters early. Being Captain and first officer meant that they would need to oversee everything required to get the Federation's flagship ready for her five-year voyage. They would not have time to concern themselves with their own belongings or putting up the several drawings that Peter gave the three of them for the sole purpose of making sure that they do not forget about him during their mission.

Since he and Nyota were officially bonded and said bonding was of public record, Nyota would be sharing the first officer's quarters with him. Which meant at least they had a full-size bed. However, because his bonding to James was not public record and Starfleet wanted to give the appearance that the Captain of Enterprise was not sleeping with his first officer, James had a separate room. However, thanks to some creative planning on Commander Scott's part, the rooms connect through the shared bathroom.

"I think we should turn the bed in my quarters into a luxury couch and just all sleep in here." Jim said as he sat down on the bed in Spock's quarters that was already made. "I am pretty sure all three of us can sleep on here."

"Barely and only because you're a hugger." Nyota remarked as she laid down beside him.

"Love that I'm a hugger." Jim also placed his arms around Nyota.

"For sex, this could work because we are all really creative and flexible, but somebody is going to get kicked into the floor at night and it's not going to be me."

"Because you're a kicker." James joked.

"There's a logical solution to this. Due to my hybrid physiology, I need less sleep in higher temperatures to feel comfortable. When not engaging in coitus, I can sleep in the other room. I believe there is also sufficient space there to put in a meditation room."

"We have done okay for the last few months. You always said the cuddling keeps you warm." James remarked.

"Because you both sleep in the nude, which is not practical on a starship. Our bed at our apartment was also 87% larger."

"You may have a valid point because red alerts love happening at 3 AM."

"And the bed really is too small." Nyota added. "Everyone in engineering likes me so I think I can convince someone to put a larger bed in Jim's quarters."

"You're not the only one who has friends in engineering. I may have played around with the design a little bit to give us one giant suite and sufficient closet space for the three of us. Unfortunately, there are regulations about bed size and this is as big as we're going to get. Thankfully, we are a very creative bunch that can be flexible with our use of surfaces. We can figure out sleeping arrangements as we go."

"I'm sure that's the plan for the oversized couch in your quarters that is probably not regulation." Nyota remarked.

"It's for entertaining. The Captain needs to entertain or at least that's the justification I used to get it accepted." Jim remarked

"You are only allowed to entertain us." Nyota responded with a kiss.

"Of course. Do you realize that nobody else's on the ship right now?" James said picking up a small black makeup bag from the toiletry kit that he laid on the bed earlier. Spock is aware the black bag contains supplies for sexual activities.

"What are you planning?" Spock asked.

"Fantasy 332." Jim responded. The fact that Spock could confirm that the ship was devoid of all other life forms besides the three of them would be the only reason Spock would agree to carry out fantasy 332 outside of their quarters. That is why Spock arranged for the ship to be nearly vacant.

"I'm not giving you a blowjob while you sit in the Captain's chair." Nyota folded her hands over her chest. "You couldn't figure out how to get a larger bed in here so I don't think you deserve it. I've kind of gotten used to sleeping with both of you. Actually sleeping."

"I work with Scotty so I can intentionally earn that reward. What you described is fantasy 342. Fantasy 332 is where you're the Captain, I'm your communication officer that you need to punish for being a very bad boy and Spock is your loyal first officer ready to do whatever you command."

"Is this the reason why you insisted that we move in early?" Nyota asked. She was obviously intrigued.

"No, that was our wonderful, prepare for anything boyfriend." Nyota tilted her head to Spock and he nodded his head in confirmation that he did arrange for this to occur.

"I just decided to take advantage of it. You'll be surprised how easy it is to get a hold of a regulation female command uniform." James smirked before going to Nyota's closet and pulling out the uniform that Spock put there earlier.

"So, what are your opinions on fantasy 332?" Nyota asked Spock.

"I am ready to agree with whatever type of punishment you feel fits Lieutenant Kirk's crimes. I believe handcuffs are in order, Captain." Nyota responded with a kiss to them both.

"I will go change." He said, pulling away. "And you should put on something befitting your position, Lieutenant Kirk." Nyota said as she removed her top.

"Do you have any idea how much I love both of you right now?" 'More than what is quantifiable.' Spock thought to himself, but he could feel the love and affection, radiating from both his lovers.

"A lot. Go change, Lieutenant."

"Yes, ma'am." Jim saluted.

In that moment, Spock realized that no matter what would happen in the next five years, they could survive it together.

The End.

We have come to the end of the story, but not the end of the series. There will be one more story (maybe more). Since the next story takes place around a slightly AU version of the events of Star Trek Beyond, I decided to mark this story as finished on fanfiction dot net and will post the next part as a brand-new story. I am also doing this because I primarily post now on Archive of Our Own and you can subscribe to a series on that site. That way, those of you interested in the next part can subscribe, so you won't miss a thing. Also, for those who have been waiting to read this story for four years after I completed it, I want them to know that it's done.

I would like to take a moment to thank everybody who has been with me for the last four years as I worked on this series. It's been an incredible journey and I'm happy that you have been along for the ride. Especially since this is a poly story with lots of story and not that much sexual activity (although if anybody wants to write what happened on the bridge, contact me.) I would also like to thank all my wonderful betas who helped me keep this story coherent with a minimal amount of typographical errors.

The working title for the next story in the series is The Idiot's Guide to Work Life Balance. My goal is to start posting in December or January. Of course, I thought I would be starting the sequel to Dear James in six months and it's been closer to a year. Life gets in the way too often of good writing.

Up next for my loyal Star Trek readers is the third story in the Dear Spock universe. Look for Dear Demora: Epitaphs from Enterprise in September or a little earlier.