Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Claimer: The poem near the end is all mine.

Prologue

Hidan was smart, smarter than anyone gave him credit for. He was sly as a fox, wily as a coyote, and slippery as a fish. But he wasn't smart the way other people were.

Hidan had always known he was different than other people, that his brain didn't work the same way theirs did. His mind operated about twenty degrees off from others. His only two friends had similar problems, to different extents. Deidara was around fifteen degrees off, Tobi more like thirty.

It was this difference that allowed Hidan to walk around school with one of his greatest secrets hidden in plain sight. His school cloak, a piece of clothing with the school's icon of red clouds against a black background, was long-sleeved and opened at the chest, proudly displaying his rosary with his Jashinism pendant. People watched the albino teen, they stared at his chest, his rosary, his pretty face, and no one noticed how the long sleeves of his cloak went to half-way down his thumbs, perfectly concealing his arms and wrists.

Hidan winced as his wrist rubbed against his desk, his scowl deepening. His foot tapped impatiently against the floor, waiting for the last bell of the day. As soon as it rang, he was out the door before anyone else had even gathered their things.

He ran out the school doors with an uncharacteristic grin on his face, bag thrown over one shoulder. Three miles from the building, he saw two figures running towards him, both waving frantically. The blonde reached him first, "Hidan! How was your day, un?"

The other caught up with them, his enthusiasm shining through the swirling orange mask he wore, "Yeah, Hidan-sempai, tell us!"

"The best fucking day I've had in weeks! The bastards weren't there at all today. I saw and spoke to Sasori for a few minutes as we passed in the halls without anyone seeing. Who says Mondays suck?"

The shortest of them giggled, "Itachi-san took the others out for the day. Tobi stayed behind because Tobi is a good boy! Tobi wanted to surprise Hidan-sempai!" there was a momentary pause, "Surprise, Hidan-sempai!"

Hidan smirked and ruffled the ebony spikes with his hand, "Thanks, squirt, it was a great surprise."

Deidara shifted from foot to foot, "So, are you coming over to my house, un?"

"Hell yeah, I intend to stretch this good day out as long as I fucking can."

Their companion jumped around, "Yay! Tobi is happy!"

Both other teens smiled at their friend's joy before all three headed in the direction of the blonde's house. Upon entry, Tobi immediately set about making sandwiches for everybody and Deidara got out glasses for drinks. There was a sound from another room in the flat before a woman stuck her head around the corner, "Oi, brats. What's going on?"

Hidan smirked up at the older blonde, "Hey, Tsunade-chan."

The twenty-two year old smiled at them, "Hey there, Hidan-kun, Tobi-kun. Dei-chan, will they be staying the night?"

The younger blonde shook his head, then paused, "Er, actually, I don't know, Neechan."

The masked teen looked up from his task, "Tobi will stay. Tobi will just be picked on if Tobi goes home anyway."

Hidan sighed, "Wish I could, Tsunade-chan. Not an option tonight, but how about tomorrow?"

Tsunade sighed and stepped fully into the room, tossing one of her pigtails over her shoulder, "You sure about that, Hidan-kun?"

"Yeah, they're likely to find my body floating down the river as it is."

"Okay, at least let me check you over before you leave."

Hidan's voice became mock sulky and he bowed his head, "Yes, Doctor Tsunade."

She smirked at him, "Another few months and you won't be able to say that mockingly, you brat."

"Don't worry, I'll find a way, Dr.I-skipped-four-grades-and-graduated-at-fourteen ."

Tsunade was about to make a snappy come-back when Tobi held a plate of sandwiches in front of her face, "Tobi is done! Would Tsunade-sama like to eat with us?"

Seeing as the food was already made, the woman smiled at the over enthusiastic teen and nodded, "Thank you, Tobi."

"Tobi is a good boy?"

She chuckled lightly and ruffled his hair like Hidan had, "Hai, Tobi is a very good boy. You know my kitchen catastrophes, I couldn't even make sandwiches as good as yours."

Hidan scoffed, "You're lucky you can make water."

Deidara was on the other side of the modest four-person table from him, shaking his head frantically and making slashing motions across his throat. The blue-eyed teen sighed at the fire in his elder sister's eyes. There wasn't a single time in his memory that Hidan and Tsunade could be in the same room without starting an argument, though more often than not it ended with smiles on the faces of both. He plopped his chin in his hand and watched the bickering with amusement in his sky blue eyes.

His sister was Deidara's idol. He couldn't even really remember their parents as anything but shadowy blurs. Tsunade had always taken care of him, even when their parents had been alive. They had each worked two jobs, and neither of their children would have been able to pick them out of a crowd. So when the car crash had robbed them of their parents when Tsunade was sixteen and Deidara was ten, it hadn't been much of an impact on the younger blonde, and the life insurance had played the same part as the people themselves. The only remnant of their parents was a single picture on the mantle in the living room, with six pictures of the siblings alone and the other ten photos of them with Hidan and Tobi.

After the small argument between Tsunade and Hidan, with the albino being victorious, they settled down to eat. Tobi took his mask off to eat, revealing delicate, almost feminine features, and dichromatic eyes, his right eye being red with his left being black. Tobi had ham and cheese sandwiches with banana slices on them. Deidara had ham, cheese, and pickles. Hidan, as always, devoured his sandwiches of pepperoni, cheese and miracle whip. Tsunade nibbled at her healthy fare of fruit sandwiches with strawberries, bananas, whipped cream, and kiwi slices. Deidara had set out glasses and Hidan had filled them with soda, with the notable exception of milk for Tsunade.

The pale teen sighed as he finished his food, "I have to go."

Tsunade did a terrible job of hiding the massive amount of worry she felt when she looked at him, "Be careful."

"It'll hurt the same either way." the albino said as he grabbed his backpack, "Later."

Tsunade frowned at his back as he left, "Dammit Hidan, damn you for going through this on your own. Let us help you, baka, don't suffer alone."

Hidan stood outside the door, staring at the stained wood. Taking a breath, he opened the door and went inside, closing it behind him. He immediately dodged to the right, the punch that was aimed at his face hitting him in the shoulder instead and forcing him back against the door he just closed, there was no doubt his impact with the knob would leave a nasty bruise on his lower back.

A hand wrapped around his throat and slammed his head against the wood, smearing it with blood that started to trickle from the wound left on impact. He made no struggle against the attacks or the grip on his windpipe that lifted him off the ground, "You little shit, you're late. What the fuck were you doing you worthless little waste of space?"

He was abruptly dropped to the ground and curled up to absorb the kick that came his way on his hip rather than his stomach. Hidan grimaced at the pain, but didn't make a sound other than to speak, "I got detention for not turning in homework." he said monotonously.

"Stupid little bastard! Good for nothing retard!"

He was hauled up-right by the collar of his school cloak, "S-sorry."

Hidan was sent soaring through the air to hit the coffee table, sliding across the top of the sturdy little thing and falling to the floor on the far side of it. His blood-slicked hair was used as a handle to yank him up again, "Go to your room and wait for me."

After a knee to the stomach and kick to the shin he was thrown towards his room and he struggled to his feet to obey. It wasn't even three minutes later when his father entered the room, Hidan's eyes widening as they landed on the straps in the elder male's hands. The strong leather restraints meant only one thing and Hidan started shaking.

A critical eye glanced his way, "Lose the fucking clothes. Now. Every second you keep me waiting is a stripe."

Trembling hands removed the clothing as quickly as they could, unveiling once-pale, bruise-mottled flesh covered in scars. Vivid magenta eyes dulled to a pastel pink in fear and pain as he was shoved onto his small bed and the straps used to tie his limbs immobile.

A whistle-swish made his heart skip a beat, "It took you ten seconds. You keep count, if you fail to give count, the blow will be repeated until you do. If you lose count, it will start over."

Hidan had no warning before a line of fire engulfed his back. He shivered for a moment in false pleasure before his nerves registered the pain, "One." another stripe, "T-two."

"Do not stutter. Again."

"Two." another, "Three." and another, "F-four." an even harder hit, "Four."

By the time he reached ten, his back was a mass of bloody welts and he was nearly delirious with the pain of the whipping and the head injury he'd received. Hidan heard the rustle of clothing behind him and shoved his face in the pillow under him, knowing what was coming next. A heavy weight pressed him to the blood-soaked mattress and painful heat seared his anemia-chilled body. He bit through his lip as blazing agony raced up his spine and down his legs at the forced entry. Grunts came from above and behind him, each one accompanied by a fresh wave of searing pain through his small frame.

A rough hand threaded itself into his bloody hair and pulled harshly at the abused locks, but failed to illicit a sound from him. Time faded to nothing in a gray haze of pain as rough hands ran over his mutilated back and the thrusts continued unabated. Eventually the pleasured sounds stopped and searing warmth coated his torn entrance. The weight lifted from him and one of his wrist restraints was slackened.

Silence engulfed the room and Hidan both as his father left. Ignoring the pain that radiated up his spine with every movement, he undid his other restraints with his freed hand and put the straps on the dresser by the door, closing and locking it as he went past. He flopped down on the soiled sheets and felt his whole body lock up at the agony of the impact on every wound and injury he'd gotten. Hidan rolled over and reached under the bed, searching blindly for the loose floorboard and the things it held secret. He found it and withdrew the small rectangle he needed, pulling his arm back caused the little ambient light remaining to glint off the metal.

Without hesitation, he drew the razor blade across his right forearm, three inches past his scarred wrists on the first area of unmarked flesh. Warm crimson welled and beaded at the red line before running down to his elbow in rivulets. Hidan sighed at the familiar pain and turned onto his back, holding his arm above him. Scarlet drops fell and hit his face, running down his cheeks in a morbid parody of tears. He watched in fascination before slitting the tip of a finger with the blade and drawing a circle on his chest with a circumscribed equilateral triangle inside it.

"Jashin-sama, accept my pain as tribute. Quench yourself on the blood I offer in your name. Wash my sins in blood and hold my soul." his voice broke, "Grant me peace, please. That's all I ask, peace from the hell that surrounds me."

Hidan's sight faded at the edges and he didn't fight it, letting the darkness take him away. Someone, help, please, save me.

Chapter One

Hidan woke up to the sound of his messenger dinging obsessively like a cell phone with tourette's. He rolled over with a grimace, the sheets sticking to his lacerated back. He peeled off the cloth and looked over at his computer, noting the time in the corner. Shit, looks like I'm going to be late today.

He flopped in the desk chair with no regard for the piece of furniture and rolled his eyes as he pulled up the locked window and typed in his password, seeing the six-hundred and counting messages from Deidara and Tobi. He erased his entire in-box without looking at any of them, then logged into their private chat room that Tobi had fixed up.

BloodRedBeliever has logged on.

AhatoKatsu has logged on.

DichromaticBadBoy has logged on.

BloodRedBeliever: Fucking enough already, I'm up.

AhatoKatsu: BloodRedBeliever! We were worried sick, yeah!

DichromaticBadBoy: Is BRB-sempai okay?

BloodRedBeliever: Define 'okay'. I need to see Neechan. Immediately.

AhatoKatsu: She thought you would, yeah, so she called in sick at work.

DichromaticBadBoy: Will BRB-sempai go to school today?

BloodRedBeliever: Yeah. Speaking of which, I need to get my ass in gear. Talk to you later. Maybe.

AhatoKatsu: Later, yeah.

DichromaticBadBoy: Bye-bye, BRB-sempai.

BloodRedBeliever has logged off.

AhatoKatsu has logged off.

DichromaticBadBoy has logged off.

Hidan put the desktop into sleep mode and headed for the shower. Regardless of what he was going through, his routine was relatively consistent. Get up, get washed, clean the room (and anything else that had blood on it), get dressed, and either go to school or settle down to do his homework if he was too injured to go that day, with possible visits to or by Tsunade. He sighed as he closed the bathroom door. Just another average day.

Hidan grimaced as he came upon the dead-end hallway. Of course he had to get turned around and end up in the one hall of the building that was under construction and therefore closed off. Note to self: have chat with subconscious; RE: common sense and observational skills.

He hid his distaste as Pein cracked his knuckles, Kisame grinned toothily down at him, and Zetsu's dual personalities looked equal parts exited and disgusted respectively. Kakuzu and Sasori stood in the wings, and Konan and Itachi were along for what he assumed was emotional support seeing as they'd never yet bothered to raise a hand to him.

Hidan knew this was going to fucking hurt; always did, and on the heels of a 'family night' to boot. He was outnumbered five to one, six to one if both halves of Zetsu were counted, and seven or eight to one if Itachi and Konan were and dependent upon the Zetsu debate. He didn't have, as Kakuzu had so fucking eloquently stated at one point, a snowflake's chance in hell. There was no chance at all of him getting out of this with anything less than the hell beat out of him, let alone actually winning. His best bet was to stand down and take his beating like a man, or a bitch, as the case may be.

Yeah, like that had ever stopped him.

Hidan dropped into his fighting stance and flippantly waved them on, "Bring it on, fuckers."

Coming out of the art building, Hidan spotted Sasori coming his way for his own art period. The redhead was about to nod toward him, unaware of the person just a few places back in the approaching crowd. Hidan glared at him, cluing him in and warning him they were watched.

There was the slightest widening of dark eyes before the expression was wiped away as though it had never been, and harshly ramming Hidan's shoulder as he passed by. Hidan fell to the wet grass beside the sidewalk, not expecting Sasori to bump him that hard. His open backpack spewed things onto the damp school lawn in a lovely display of jumbo confetti. Dammit you lifeless corpse, overkill!

"Watch where the hell you're going, fucker!"

Kisame snickered as he followed the redhead, and the albino's head dropped when he heard the bell for the next class ring. Yeah, should have expected that. Shit, I gotta hurry, Yamato-sensei doesn't tolerate tardiness. He grabbed everything he could and shoved it in his backpack, running for his next class.

It was a difficult to keep up with the act, and sometimes he wasn't sure if he admired Sasori, or hated his fucking guts. Then again, it was his own fault that the redhead beat him with the rest of the assholes, but he'd never have been able to handle the guilt otherwise. He remembered that day...

He grabbed the shorter teen by the cloak and slammed him up against the wall outside the empty school, "Damn you, fight me!"

"Why?"

"Because 'they'll' get suspicious if you don't, and you'll end up a reject like me. And then Dei will feel guilty and end this thing between you even though you're the best thing that's ever happened to him." he slammed him against the wall again for emphasis, "And Jashin help you if you do anything to break that boy's heart."

"He'll be hurt if we fight."

"I'll explain it to him later. Now fucking hit me, you damn puppet!"

Yeah, it was his fault and he shouldn't complain, but, dammit... He and Sasori actually got along pretty well outside of school, they seemed to have the same morbid sense of humor. Hidan shook his head with a smirk. Talk about frienemies.

Kakuzu, Kisame and Sasori were the first ones out of the art class because no one was willing to cut in front of them, for good reason. You didn't mess with the most popular and dangerous people in the school and get away unscathed. Hidan was ample example of that and no one wanted to follow in his footsteps. Always keeping an eye on the ground for any dropped change, Kakuzu noticed the crumpled paper that had landed in a shallow puddle from the rain they'd gotten the previous night.

He picked it up and stuffed it in his bag for later perusal, it might have something important on it. Like an incriminating piece of info he could sell back to the owner, for the right price.

Deidara winced, "Ouch, Hidan, un. You look like shit, un."

The albino didn't even muster a glare, merely sighing, "Yeah, tell me about it. Momma said there'd be days like this: she just never said there'd be so damn many, so fucking close together."

"What happened, un? You never look this down after school."

"Just... just the same old shit again and again and again. Important lesson, Dei: never hit a man when he's down; kick him, it's a lot easier and you don't have to bend as far."

The Uchiha with them nodded diligently, "Tobi will remember!"

The remaining walk to the Senju household was conducted in silence, one that didn't last once they got through the door. Tsunade took note of Hidan's heavy limp, "What happened?"

The albino glared at her, "What the fuck do you think happened?"

She sighed, "Go get changed and wait for me in my room."

His glare intensified, "Hell no!"

Now it was her turn to glare, "What part of that sounded like a choice to you? I need to clean the injuries and stitch closed the wounds so they don't get infected. For fucks' sake, Hidan, don't act like this is the first time we've gone over this routine."

"I'm not getting stitched there again."

"You will if I decide you need it. How many times have I seen you naked? You should be beyond this embarrassment by now."

Deidara winced, "I don't think it's possible to get over embarrassment like that, un."

The unusually quiet masked teen nodded as well, "Tobi agrees."

The elder blonde sighed again, "I know this is beyond humiliating, Hidan, I don't much like having to force you to it either. But you'll hate it even more if you get an infection and end up in a hospital with a dozen strangers poking and prodding the very last fucking place you want touched."

The magenta eyed teen seemed to deflate at the comment, "Yeah, I know. I'm going."

Kakuzu closed the door to his room and withdrew his homework assignments, causing a ball of paper to fall out on the bed. Remembering how he'd acquired it earlier, he decided that his homework could wait a few minutes while he satisfied his curiosity. He uncrumpled the sheet, flattening it out with the help of the side of his end table.

It appeared to be a medical report of some kind. He quickly scanned the page and his eyes widened to impossible proportions at what was said. Anal tearing and fissures... Blunt force trauma to forty percent of the body... Sharp force trauma to the head, minor concussion. Hairline fractures...

Kakuzu scanned the top of the page, but found no identifying information. He flipped the paper over and found something printed on it.

'You don't matter, by BloodRedBeliever

Cut and break.

Scream from rape.

End this life.

Embrace the knife.

Hear yourself, as you shatter.

You know so well that you don't matter.

It's all right there within his eyes.

Searing pain denotes his size.

You feel yourself choke on crimson.

Screaming that your hate has risen.

Staring blankly at the sky.

Dripping tears you think you cry.

Blood trails down your skin in rills.

Penance for your whoring skills.

Something bleeds and something cracks.

Tearing pieces from your masks.

Fight him off, deny his claim.

Arch yourself into the pain.

Listen careful, hear death's call.

Find a way to end it all.

Yes, it's true, you know you'll shatter.

And in the end, you still won't matter.'

There was something else written below it, but it was too smudged from being in a puddle to be legible, the only thing he could make out was 'AhatoKatsu'.

Keeping the paper firmly in hand, Kakuzu booted up his computer and looked for the name. Google popped up the information 'AhatoKatsu's account,' on a chat site.

He clicked the link and a screen with what looked like blood drops falling like rain appeared, with the usual login box. He clicked the sign-up button and a black box appeared in the window with 'Invitation only! Password?' in red.

After an hour of failed attempts, Kakuzu closed the site and turned to his homework, but the problem still nagged at the back of his mind. He hated asking for favors, he preferred at all times for people to be in debt to him, but just this once, he'd make an exception. When he was finished with his assignments, he pulled out his cell and hit the speed dial.

It rang twice before an emotionless voice on the other end answered, "Kakuzu."

"Itachi, you owe me one. I'm calling in that debt."

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