(A/N) I've been promising you guys this fic for how long? xD Well, here it is. It'll be relatively short, 3-4 chapters. It is AU.

Be warned: there be ZaDr ahead. ZADR. And ZaDe. Be warned. I really wanted to try a balance between ZaDe and ZaDr for this one, and it's been a lot of fun thus far. It might seem like the switch between the two seems abrupt, but I did that on purpose. And it won't be a total flip until... well, you'll hopefully know. Also keep in mind, please, that Zim is very impulsive and doesn't often think things through.

Also, this is a relatively dark fic. Please don't read it if you aren't prepared for that.

I'll also be posting the first chapter of Repression and Succession in a few days, so if this isn't exactly your thing, don't fret. That'll also be a more major, longer project.

I do not own Zim or Dib or anything Invader Zim related.

The Irken invader leaned back, spine arching over the mound of cushions he was nestled in. His lazy gaze combed the ceiling, searching uselessly for something, for anything of interest, and inevitably his eyes closed in a huge yawn, his segmented tongue unfurling as he did so. His shoulders popped as he stretched, and he thought idly about how quickly his muscles grew cold with inactivity.

"GIR!" he called loudly, breaking the silence. "I demand amusement!"

"Yes, my master!" the obedient SIR unit cried, then shot out of the room in search of such amusement. The Irken boy sighed heavily, looking after him with regret-filled eyes. Even GIR was different now, locked into duty-mode; he obeyed his master's every command. And even though he didn't have the motivation or energy to object, the invader missed his defective little companion's craziness.

Sighing again, the Irken let his head hang to the side so that he could gaze out the window. There was Earth, the once-vibrantly colored planet now painted a brownish-grey, the Organic Sweep having been completed. There were only a few earthlings left in the galaxies- a handful of big cats, wolves and other impressive earth species in various zoos, some plants in labs and botanical space stations, and a few germs in petri dishes. As for the humans, fewer than one hundred had been saved, deemed both intelligent and esthetically pleasing enough to serve as Irken slaves.

It was the Irken boy's conquest, that dusty planet. Yet he could not bring himself to feel a spark of pride- indeed, somewhere in his heart-equivalent, he mourned for it. He had never liked Earth, but perhaps there had been a few things worth preserving. It was certainly more interesting than sitting around waiting for orders from the Tallest, with little to ease his boredom save for his own thoughts. And his own thoughts led him in dangerous directions, whispering that, while he may not have liked Earth, perhaps he liked Irk even less.

"Sir!"

Glancing up, the alien was surprised to see GIR standing in the doorway, holding a chain. And, even more surprising, a human stood at the end of this chain. The Irken's antennae raised with mild intrigue.

"A gift from the Tallest, Sir!"

Slowly sitting up, the invader glanced briefly at his SIR unit. "… Very good, GIR; leave us, now."

"Okie-dokie!" The familiar phrase in the forging, duty-mode voice made the Irken wince. The chain fell with a clang and door shut silently, leaving the conqueror and the conquered abruptly alone to gaze at one another.

The human was emaciated and scuffed up- used and worn. He wore no shirt and the rough, sackcloth pants typical of slaves, as well as the heavy metal collar. Familiar with the structure of such things, the Irken knew that the chain dripped down his back and attached to shackles on his wrists. Though it was hidden from view, the alien could see the weight of the metal in the way the boy stood.

"Never seen a human before, alien scum?"

The Irken jumped; he hadn't expected the boy to speak. "F-foolish earth-stink!" he spluttered, realizing that he had actually been leaning very far forward during his inspection. "I'm the one who conquered your filthy stink-planet! I've seen far too many of you pigs!"

The human snorted, turning his face away. "You're an invader? Sorry, I mistook you for some soft little noble slug, curled up there in your cushions."

"Fool!" the Irken cried, surging up with a spray of said cushions. "I am Zim, the greatest invader Irk has ever known!"

The human smirked, suddenly and improbably morphing into sadism personified. "The message I have from the Tallest is suddenly hilarious."

Zim's antennae shot up. "My Tallest? You carry a message from my Tallest?"

The human's smile twisted further. "I'm a gift from them, remember?"

"Tell me this message, tell me now!" the Irken demanded, and the slave only continued to smile. Then, slowly, he turned around.

A DEFECTIVE SLAVE

FOR A

DEFECTIVE INVADER

The words were carved with lurid definition into the human's bony back, etched into not only the skin but the muscle beneath. Each letter was a deep, indelible mark in the meager flesh, colored an angry, dull red that betrayed its relative freshness. Zim jerked and then staggered back, shocked.

"Th-they mock Zim…!" he gasped, then shrieked, "They're laughing at Zim! I conquered Earth! They cannot laugh at me, not at Zim!"

"I don't know; you seem pretty easy to laugh at," the slave said with a dark chuckle, turning back with a rattling of chains. He stumbled abruptly though, almost falling to his knees as he staggered further into the room. Zim snorted.

"You're too weak to mock me, human," he spat, kicking a pillow crossly and sending it careening into the wall. Then he flopped back down on what remained of his perch, legs crossed and arms folded. "Now provide Zim with some means of entertainment, as you were intended to."

The human scowled, but shuffled forward with hunched shoulders. "Would the mighty invader mind unchaining me before he demands such things?"

Zim raised his eyebrows cautiously but nodded. "Ah yes. The human can provide little entertainment while shackled." Rising again and moving forward, he reached for the slave but flinched away- an instinctual reaction to the creature's emaciated state and the raw patches of skin where the bonds wore at his flesh. He quickly shook off his discomfort, though, none-too-gently removing the handcuffs but leaving the collar and chain in place.

The human boy rubbed at his wrists for a moment, glancing almost gratefully at his master before he caught himself. Looking sharply away, he scowled.

"What do you want from me, master?" he asked scathingly, and Zim smiled assuredly.

"Entertain Zim," he urged, then waved his hand invitingly. "Go on, little worm baby. Do something to entertain Zim."

"Entertain you, entertain you…" the boy muttered, tipping his head to the side. "What would entertain a hideous space monster- a jerk, no less…?"

"Enough with the insults!" the invader snapped. "They cease to amuse Zim."

The human scowled. "They aren't meant to entertain you, you scum!" he retorted, and then returned to his musings. At last he snapped his fingers. "I've got just the thing!"

Zim cocked his head, antennae lifting, as the slave began to pace.

"Yes, yes…" the boy murmured, looking pleased. "I know what'll entertain someone like you! What'll liven up your undoubtedly intolerably boring life."

"Yes, yes?" Zim asked eagerly, leaning forward. "Entertain Zim, human."

Toying with the chain, the human looked thoughtful. "Well… I suppose I could show you, almighty Invader Zim… because I'm sure you'll appreciate it."

In a startling flash- shocking for one in such a condition, the boy had slipped behind his new so-called-master, chain in hand, and wrapped his leash around the Irken's thin neck. Instantly Zim was fighting, but it seemed inadequate- the human had not only the upper hand of surprise, but he had chosen his positioning perfectly.

The Irken gagged softly, clawing desperately at the chain wrapped tightly around his throat. His PAK exploded with movement as his spider legs sprang to his defense, but the human had situated himself such that he was unreachable. All Zim could do was strike him with the dull ends of the metal limbs, which did precious little to inhibit the vengeful human.

Bracing his legs against the ground, Zim threw himself against the wall, making the slave groan softly. A short moan punctuated the second impact with the wall, and the weakened boy's grip loosened. One last hit sent him staggering back, chain slipping from his grip as his knees buckled.

Zim was gasping, one hand on his neck and the other on the wall. As soon as he had the breath to, he rounded on the human, but paused suddenly.

The slave had more than fallen- he had crumpled, panting raggedly and clutching his sides. Blood dripped from his gaping mouth, his skeletal form trembling; he didn't even look up at the object of his attack.

"Will you die?"

Zim's question made the human's head snap up, and Zim himself was quick to hide his concern with a hastily constructed mask of contempt.

"I mean, I knew humans were feeble," he said, attempting a flippant tone, "but I didn't think they were so easily…" He trailed off under the pressure of the human's gaze, and swallowed.

"I won't die, you scum," the human rasped, and then surrendered, thudding softly onto his side. "I won't die until… if I'm dying, going wherever the hell the dead go, you're coming with me, spaceboy."

Gazing down at the sleeping human, Invader Zim felt an odd fluttering in his squeedly spootch. The slave looked tiny, curled where he had lost consciousness as much as fallen asleep, having crawled onto the bed that Zim himself seldom used. Blinking once, slowly, the Irken spread a blanket over the pitiful creature.

"Does the human child wish to know the meaning of the Tallests' message?" he whispered, brushing a strand of dirty black hair from the slave's face. "It is because Zim is a Defective. And Zim is Defective... because he loves what you stand for."

A hand shot suddenly from beneath the blanket, electricity crackling up Zim's arm as his wrist was grabbed. And in that instant, the human's wide, chocolate eyes were locked on him- filled and overflowing with hatred and pain and desperate longing.

"What is that supposed to mean, you stupid space monster?" he asked, but his voice cracked on the last word.

Without a word- acting on some deep-seated desire, without any rational basis, the Irken leaned down and pressed his lips to the slave's, feeling the boy, chill with neglect, stiffen beneath him. But he did not surrender, pushing in harder until the human was flat on his back and then, somehow... miraculously...

... kissing him back.

With a desperate groan, the slave surged up and latched onto his conqueror and master, parting his lips to grant the Irken's tongue entrance. Zim, undeniably pleased by this reception, leaned in even farther, clamoring onto the bed itself and lavishing the slave with the attention he had been denied since the destruction of his world and even before then.

The kiss only deepened- even then, the two bodies strained to become one, even as the human ran painfully short of breath and Zim felt his PAK overheat with the glut of sensation. Then the Irken stiffened, forced back by a hand locked tightly round his neck, his head growing light sudden with lack of blood flow. The slave stared up at him with limpid eyes and an unreadable expression.

"What the hell, Zim?"

The Irken invader chuckled, despite the position he was in. "That is how humans show affection, yes? What is your name, slave?"

"Dib. And yes, it is. But why the hell would you do that?" the boy demanded, tightening his grip; Zim did not attempt to free himself.

"Because Zim has a great amount of affection for you, orphan of Earth," he said simply.

Dib didn't respond, and so Zim gently twisted his head free; took a deep, shuddering breath. And then he lowered himself gently, eyes never leaving the thin slave.

"May Zim lie beside the Diblet, without imminent threat to his life?"

The human snorted. "No guarantees," he grumbled, yet made no move to stop the Irken as his body was was pulled close to Zim's chest- the Irken did not lie still until they were, as humans would say, spooning. The alien was aware of Dib's shivering slowly quieting, and felt his PAK hum softly as it compensated for the additional loss of heat.

"I long for days past," the invader confessed softly, without moving. "As unthinkable as it is, I believe that Zim has made a heinous error. I even miss the stench of you earth monkeys."

"And why the hell are you telling me this?" Dib retorted, though he didn't move, either.

"So that you may understand Zim's inexcusably Defective behavior," the other replied flippantly. "I do not wish to he misconstrued."

"How could this be misconstrued?"

"In many ways."

The two of them lay still, for a moment- the Irken even held his breath, for his species allowed him to with minimal effects. But then he let it out, slowly, leaning forward so that his face was buried in the slave's hair, course with his poor health. He could feel the Tallest's cruelty etched into the boy's back, pressed against him.

"I am grateful that they gave you to me, although I am sorry for what they did to you."

Dib scoffed, although a bit of his ire seemed to have faded. "I don't believe you."

"And why not?" Zim demanded indignantly.

"Because you're an Irken."

"That is no reason, human."

"What more do you want?"

"By your logic, I should think you inferior simply because you are a human."

"You do think I'm inferior."

"Yes, but for more reasons than that you are human."

Dib laughed- laughed honestly, if quietly. "Shut up. You're confusing as hell."

"So Zim has been told."

The supposed invader was vaguely aware, after that, of the supposed slave's slow descent into an easy sleep, his breathing growing deep and regular. But, as Irkens did not sleep, Zim found himself trapped in an unearthly stillness- paralyzed, listening to the human breath and wondering what may have happened, perhaps, had he met the creature before he had had the Earth destroyed.

(A/N) Chapter 2 soon. Now I must log off, for, though I feel no tiredness, my eyes have gone wonky for want of sleep.

Reviews mean the world to me. Please review, and I'll tell you the title of the next chapter.

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