Tempus' Paladin

Written by Whimsical Symphony

It's been quite some time. I can make all the excuses I want but the truth is that I stopped writing this for quite a while.

In actuality too, 10 000 words of this chapter had been written for months now but I'd been stumped about how exactly I wanted the… big ending section of this chapter to go. This chapter feels a little weird to me as I feel like I've been working on a patchwork quilt with a lot of sections being clearly older.

I'm glad Rufus as a character draws a lot of discussion – does he help, does he really cause harm etc. and I think at this point it can be said that he's rather amoral. Whether he helps or harms is all on the basis of whether it works with his agenda. In this case, he clearly wanted to overthrow his father and so manipulated literally everyone involved in the Teef situation to make it happen, mostly targeting Sephiroth to get his hands dirty for him.

We'll see if he's just that much of a Magnificent Bastard though. I really love writing Rufus and I think the potential for his manipulation is often downplayed in fanfics. The guy had a reputation that he doesn't bleed or cry and literally would do anything to get control of his father's company. He changed a bit in Advent Children but even while "being a good guy" he was still really concerned about Shinra's image more than anything else. He's a complex and interesting character I wish was written about more.

Anyway, enjoy!

Chapter XIX ~ The Conductor ~

Since the entire messy ordeal with Hojo and his lab experiments, Tifa had been confined in the private infirmary, with Rayleigh to heal her battered leg. Her leg still throbbed with an unbearable pain even though Materia had been used to mend the skin, to heal some of the damage.

"It's looking to be in good condition. A few more days rest should remedy the remaining issues," Rayleigh told her, poking and prodding regions of her leg, much to Tifa's discomfort. When she bit her lip and remained silent, Rayleigh pushed on a sore spot near her knee purposefully. Tifa swore in pain and the scientist looked at her sternly. "Don't give me that look. If Materia is used to mend injuries too much, there is a high probability of deformities occurring. Materia accelerates and enhances the natural healing process – but the acceleration aspect of it forces the body to overwork itself. When it comes to injuries, Materia should only be used to enhance the healing process to bring a wound that clearly won't heal on its own to a state where it will."

"I know. Thanks, Rayleigh," Tifa muttered sullenly. "I'm being unreasonable. There are just so many things which need to be done right now, after all of that. And it just seems like I've ignored it. Not to mention… it seems unfair I'm not being treated with the other cadets."

The other cadets in poor condition were tended to by the members of the Research Division. Some of them were in a better state than others, but none of them in a particularly good state. The luckier cadets only received the wounds, but not the experimentation. That didn't mean that pain didn't engulf their bodies or that the faces of their dead comrades didn't haunt them like spectres in the night.

For most of them, Mako hadn't done them any favours and a few of them even began their transformation to Makonoids from the high quantities of the substance given to them intravenously. Deliberations still took place about what to do about these cadets deemed "unsalvageable".

Tifa resented the way they referred to humans, victims subject to a horrible fate, as if they were machines, garbage to be disposed of as if they never lived.

"It's a shame, but it has to be this way. Unless you have any desire to increase the chances of revealing your secret to everybody, my boy," Rayleigh said with particular emphasis on the last two words. Opening the cabinet above her work desk, she pulled out a small white bottle. After twisting it open, she tilted the bottle to let two small capsules fall into her hand. Handing them to Tifa along with a glass of water, she said, "Have these pain relievers. Materia only brings pain to a manageable level; I believe it's because we're normal humans using the knowledge of the Ancients. Of course our use of it is imperfect."

That did make sense. Aeris could heal open, bleeding lacerations without Materia and even better with it. In both cases, a cool breeze swirled all around the hurt, scattering it into the air, disintegrating it as if it never existed even in memory. The body forgot that it had ever been injured at all.

Tifa took a sip of water and swallowed the pills. Then, she said with a weak smile, "I guess it's good that I'm here for another reason too." When Rayleigh quirked her eyebrow, she continued, "Any other scientist gives me pills and I'm likely to spit them back into their faces. After all the horrible things Hojo could prescribe… I'm not inclined to trust many scientists."

"I can't vouch that many people in my department are of noble character." The woman smiled wryly. "In any case, nothing happened to you despite the vast amount of Mako given to you. Your body is a strange one indeed, one with so many secrets."

Tifa was reminded that this woman was a scientist through and through, with that glint of elation and curiosity in her eyes. The only difference was that she hadn't gone mad like Hojo did. "Right, you can research. I promised that before in exchange for you to keep my secret."

"You know me too well. This may help with resolving the situation with the other cadets. Perhaps your blood can neutralize the effects of Mako. We'll see." Rayleigh smirked and filled a syringe, checked the point of the needle to insert into her arm. "Be still."

It didn't hurt much, just a pinch in her arm although it made her feel a bit dizzy, having her blood removed. Before long, the process finished and Rayleigh stuck a label on the vial of blood she took and placed it upon a stand on her desk.

Turning to Tifa, she remarked after seeing the frown on her face, "You're worried about the condition of the cadets now, and mostly of Sephiroth, correct? That's the most major factor making you so restless."

Her silence answered the question more than any words could. Tifa never received a chance to check on Sephiroth's condition – and he, of all people, was the most hurt, the most broken. All the words exchanged that hinted to what happened, the murdered President Shinra pinned on fugitive Hojo, the complete vagueness of the situation irritated her, frustrated her.

If anything, Tifa didn't consider herself a fool. She knew what most probably occurred, but she wanted to confirm it, wanted to see what kind of condition Sephiroth was in after Rufus Shinra, the one with the most to gain from the progression of events that occurred, thought to use him.

She wanted to heal his wounds, stop him from taking everything upon his shoulders and becoming a martyr for his friends. Just a little too much and like an elastic band, Sephiroth would snap; just like a bomb, he would self-destruct. When he reached that point of return, stopping him only seemed a faraway, impossible dream.

Tifa only understood after reading what Hojo did to him as a child in those journals of his. Despite how Sephiroth was an adult, emotionally he was fragile.

Surely Hojo didn't intend for that; he didn't want Sephiroth to have emotions at all. But in reality, Sephiroth did have emotions, but they didn't develop to full maturity.

Sephiroth was a child in that sense who never received help when he should have. And because he was a child, he found it easy to act like a martyr. He was easily influenced and never truly knew when something would harm him psychologically, or to what degree.

The smallest chance of him returning to that demon she left behind in a doomed world frightened her to no end and kept her awake at night.

Now that she considered him a friend, it frightened her more than anything to lose him.

Just when Tifa decided that she owed Rayleigh an answer, and that most of all, talking about those thoughts accumulating like unwashed dishes piling up in a sink, they received guests. Tifa hadn't seen the two of them for days now and she definitely missed them. Despite those feelings, she felt ashamed at her own condition, her own instability not just caused by her inability to walk at the current time.

Weakness permeated her to her core and she didn't really want them to see that.

"Teef, those bags under your eyes are looking really bad. Have you been sleeping? Been having bad dreams?" Zack questioned her in concern when he entered the infirmary. He carried with him a basket of Banora Whites and had the man who decided to give her such a gift beside him. Quickly placing them on the bedside table, he walked past an irritated Rayleigh without even greeting her before placing the back of his hand on Tifa's forehead and then removing it. "No fever."

"You idiot, don't you think I would have known if he had a fever? I'm the doctor, not you." Rayleigh rotated her chair around after putting down the pen which she'd been writing reports with. "Fussing mother hens are a pain, especially when there are two of them."

"This one isn't a mother hen, merely an affectionate puppy," Genesis commented dismissively before walking to the basket of apples placed on the end table. "As for caring, I didn't realize it was looked upon so harshly these days, Rayleigh."

"It's disruptive." Rayleigh glared at Genesis. Pointing her pen at Tifa, she continued, "In order for his condition to get better, he needs rest."

"Perhaps, but that doesn't help when one can't rest. I know all too well the effects of an anxious mind." Genesis placed his hand on Tifa's cheek and traced the bags under her eyes with his fingertips. "You look incredibly exhausted. You're ruining your refined appearance, my dear Teef."

"Not all people are as vain as you – you'd best learn that," Rayleigh commented with a sigh. "You're like a peacock with all your useless flamboyancy."

"Better a peacock than a warthog with no concern for her appearance, even if pigs are rather intelligent," Genesis snapped back with a huff. "Leave my student's condition to me right now, Rayleigh. At this time, sleep will not help."

Tifa hadn't spoken since Genesis and Zack entered, and not even when two of them began to bicker. Instead, she preoccupied herself with observing.

Genesis and Rayleigh truly didn't get along at all, but there was something else there. To her, it resembled a mutual respect, and this seemed like routine to them, as if they were used to arguing each time they communicated with each other.

The fact that Rayleigh took a jab at Genesis' vanity, which would get him to throw a fit if said by the wrong person, and Genesis called her a warthog of all things because of her disregard for her appearance, but called her intelligent with such a backhanded compliment, proved all of that.

They were familiar with each other. Rayleigh might have been the only scientist that Genesis Rhapsodos even remotely trusted and ever would despite how much he abhorred scientists, and for good reason.

"Banora Whites?" Tifa spoke for the first time in quite a while. Her voice was hoarse. But she didn't want this uncomfortable feeling of Genesis and Zack fussing over her like she was an invalid. She promised she wouldn't get down on herself like this; it wasn't as if she purposefully decided not to see Sephiroth. Once the time came, she would rush over to him. She clutched at her bedsheets, wrinkling them, and forced a small smile on her lips. "You didn't have to. I'm not really hungry though."

"My friend, your desire is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess," Genesis quoted with his usual silver tongue.

He didn't like this look upon his student's face, even if he knew the reason why. Despite the fighting ending for the time being, giving them a moment of respite, loose ends remained. Calling them mere loose ends seemed an insult, not the correct vocabulary to capture the essence of problems so grave in nature.

The way his grip faltered upon the white apple he picked up unconsciously proved that he too was anxious.

He was anxious about the same problems that plagued his student along with the additional stress of different, personal problems. Those problems most of all, he didn't want to dwell upon, but he was forced to each time he looked upon Teef Lockhart.

Teef's expression hurt him, more than he had the courage to admit. He didn't look content, relaxed like Genesis wanted him to always feel. Before he could calm the roaring waves in his own heart he needed to take up the mantle of a mentor, or a caring friend – as that suited their relationship better – and put a smile back on his Teef's lips.

If he couldn't do that, Genesis knew that fatigue and anxiety would always plague him. His condition relied upon that of his student, the two undeniably and irrevocably bonded.

"Don't shame me by saying such a thing. Banora Whites are good for the body and soul," Genesis said, thinking about it for a moment. "This might make it more interesting for you, Teef."

From the basket he picked up a small kitchen knife and cutting board buried underneath the apples, and placed the latter on the end table. Putting the apple he held on to it, he began to cut it into wedges and remove the core from each before artfully cutting a triangular section off of each slice.

When he finished, Zack looked closely at them in awe before exclaiming, "Cute. But," he looked at Genesis in confusion, "this is something to get kids to eat, right?"

"Well, you're no joke in the kitchen. Doing this probably amused you, correct?" Rayleigh allowed herself a short laugh.

"It's simple, not even worth mentioning – anyone with basic coordination can do it. Though, I doubt the puppy can," Genesis answered, disregarding Zack's protest. He picked up the cutting board and held it out to his student, who he hoped would give him an honest smile, not one forced or strained. "Have one, Teef."

Tifa looked at the cutting board to find that Genesis cut the Banora Whites into eight little apple rabbits, ears of apple peel elevated slightly to expose a cute rabbit body of apple. Definitely, like Zack said, fit for getting children to eat their fruits.

He must have been worried, the look in his eyes said so. While she could worry, she couldn't to this degree when people like Genesis and Zack would have their own health deteriorate when they worried about her.

Tifa cursed the fact that her leg was injured, or else she wouldn't be like this. If she could only solve her problems proactively, not sit here in this infirmary, maybe she wouldn't feel so horrible. This unexplainable emotion within her suddenly seemed understandable to her: remorse.

With that realization, she knew it; she was remorseful for being unable to do anything for Sephiroth despite calling him a friend. Her remorse all but ate her alive when she thought of how often he received the short end of the stick, how used to self-sacrifice he was when no one should have been used to it.

Really, she should have been happier. This was the first time she saw Genesis and Zack since the incident days ago.

She shook her head and offered a smile to Genesis. This one was genuine, although a bit weak. She couldn't deny him that when he tried to ward away her sorrow, and with cute apple rabbits no less. It almost appeared as if he wanted to pacify a crying child.

She picked up one of the apple rabbits and popped it in her mouth, feeling some of her tension wash away with the sweet juice of dumbapples on her tongue.

"Did you like my snow hare apples? As an artist, I say they're more realistic than ones cut from red apples," Genesis commented, taking a seat at the edge of her bed.

"That's your bias for dumbapples speaking," Zack said with a grin, though when Genesis frowned in displeasure he continued, "is what I'd like to say. But rabbits do come in white." He picked up one of the rabbit apples that Genesis cut and had one to eat himself, before smiling nostalgically. "Reminds me of the ones my mom cut for me when I was little."

"Hear that, Genesis. You're motherly," Rayleigh said dryly, not at all intimidated by the fact that Genesis' glare promised retribution.

"I like them. Thanks," Tifa said, eating another one. At least the Banora Whites helped her forget. In that sense, they really did help heal the body and soul. "Better this than any food from the cafeteria – and that's what I've been left with in this place."

"If I can save my student from the poison they serve in the cafeteria, I'm just fine with being called motherly," Genesis said, clucking his tongue in disappointment at Rayleigh. "You on the other hand are simply callous. Do you enjoy Teef's pain? An ill stomach on top of an already injured leg makes it seem like you're achieving the exact opposite goal your job was intended to achieve for ailing patients."

"You're calling me incompetent? How many missions have you rejected in the past few days and just how much paperwork have you skipped? Someone like you has more duties to take up than just fighting with a blade," Rayleigh said, turning away from the group and continuing to write out her reports. Standing up, she took her sheets, and filed them in a manila folder in a metal drawer of her work-desk. "You should follow the example of your coworkers."

That caught her attention. Following the example of his coworkers, Rayleigh said. That must have meant that Angeal and Sephiroth were working during this period. The latter, she was undeniably concerned with.

Feeling her heart pounding in her chest, and the taste of the apple rabbit in her mouth go undeniably sour, she said, "What're Angeal and Sephiroth doing?"

She didn't know why exactly she wanted to remain discreet when it was pointless. Even the most oblivious person could sniff out Tifa's concern from miles away.

"Angeal's doing a lot of paperwork. He also took charge of planning the funeral procession for all the cadets that..." Zack paused, looking uncomfortable. He didn't turn to look at Teef – he knew that brought him bad memories. He would feel that way too, if so many died in front of him. The way he trembled proved it, and the sweat that beaded his skin like teardrops. "And he's taking care of deciding which cadets deserve promotion along with Lazard. You're one of them, obviously. You're going to be SOLDIER Third Class, after all of this… bad stuff passes."

Tifa didn't want to get arrogant, but she expected it. However, despite the fact that she expected it, that didn't mean it relieved her at all.

The loss of life she saw, just how many people died in front of her, she didn't think she ever wouldn't be affected by it. It was too much. To get promoted under such circumstances didn't exactly fill her with the warm feelings, of contentment, of celebration that she expected.

No doubt she wanted to feel that way, so she could celebrate alongside her mentor without a care in the world, eating Banora Whites, watching another play of LOVELESS, entering a sanctuary, a safe haven where none of the shadows could touch her. All that normally healed her, like a tourniquet on old wounds, stopped the bleeding with a comforting presence, warm and secure.

This time, Tifa was certain that it would help her, certainly, but only by distracting her: a bandage treatment without providing the panacea for her underlying illness. That kind of assistance, she had no choice but to refuse.

By concentrating on celebration, she wouldn't have to see the expressions with which they died, their corpses, be haunted by their whispering ghosts.

But being distracted made her undeniably guilty. The apple rabbits that Genesis cut artfully to tend to her like a small child tasted cold, not warm. An embrace couldn't help her now, couldn't stop her from remembering because forgetting meant disrespecting all of them, and to forget Kris.

That last thought was undeniably the most painful one. Kris died to protect her idiotic self, and she still hadn't seen Lucian and Taioh to face them with the full burden of her sins, with her broken promise to take care of Kris.

Genesis held her hand tightly, hoping to bring Teef back to them. He could recognize the glazed over look in his eyes well, reliving past memories. That feeling, he experienced much himself. Everything tasted sour, the temperature always remained bitterly cold as if he lived in the Northern Continent where plants didn't at all flourish, where clouds veiled the sun.

The feeling where darkness prevailed and only the hollow shadows of emotion touched a person. Happiness was so slight that it couldn't be recognized, sadness, a dog ever faithfully following the master who found it abandoned on the road.

Eventually, all emotions became faceless, the same, the boring, the mundane until nothing mattered and the void swallowed the weak, slowly beating heart.

"And Sephiroth?" she asked quietly, hoping for the best. Her hands clenched into fists, so tense that she couldn't feel them anymore. "Is he working too?"

She needed to thank him, so much. More than anything, she wanted to show him how grateful she was, and to find out what he sacrificed. No doubt, due to him, she escaped, even if she hadn't uncovered the truth completely.

"From what I heard, he took a mission in Mideel. He won't be back for a few days. Until then," Genesis answered with little emotion in his voice. But she could see how he didn't quite look at her, how, if he had been anyone else, he might have shed a tear. "Until then, we must wait patiently."

That pained Genesis Rhapsodos most of all, since patient, of all words, didn't suit him in the least.

Of course, Sephiroth was his closest friend besides Angeal. If anybody was more affected than her, it was him. Yet only she could be so selfish to act this way while Genesis already suffered. The more she thought about it, the more the fire of her own hate for herself raged and burned and destroyed.

"Just having someone there to listen can heal. For Sephiroth of all people, most of all," Rayleigh interjected.

The way she left the room with folders in hand after a brief glance at Genesis immediately after saying this told Tifa she didn't want to stick her nose in matters that weren't hers to stick her nose into. Yet, Rayleigh too was concerned for Sephiroth's well-being, wanted someone close to him to be there for him, since she didn't fit such a role.

Even if she appeared as if she didn't care for anything at all, reality was quite different.

"And that person will be you, Teef. I must head for a short mission too, especially as my dear student is otherwise incapacitated. I used to use training you as an excuse, and it worked rather well," Genesis admitted shamelessly. He needed some time to think about everything as well, so perhaps it wasn't such a horrible event at least. But, it did seem selfish of him, leaving Teef behind when he was in pain, and due to his own neglect no less. If he looked after him better, none of this would have happened. "The puppy will be coming with me."

"Lazard told us we had to, so we can't really tell him no. Even if working is a pain in the ass sometimes." Zack raised his hand and ruffled Teef's hair when he saw him look a little melancholic after hearing that. "But you know, sometimes it's necessary."

"You're already a great hero, Zack. I won't be doing anything important here anyway." Tifa took Zack's hand and squeezed it once before letting it go. "You're needed, wherever you're going."

Really, it meant a lot that he and Genesis would be missed.

He knew most of all, Genesis didn't want to leave him; he never saw the temperamental First care about anyone all that much. But with all that happened, he needed his solitude. For someone like Genesis who was more affected by things than he let on, one needed some time to think their personal problems through before they became too incomprehensible to actually deal with.

"Don't worry, we'll be back before you know it." He looked at the dreary room they'd be leaving Teef in and guilt bubbled up in him. If it were him, trapped in a room with white sheets, white floors, white walls, and unwelcoming metal bedposts, he knew depression would settle in. Placing a comforting hand on his bandaged leg after taking a seat at the edge of the bed, he continued, "Once you're all healed up and welcomed into SOLDIER, you can join us on missions. Won't that be great?"

"I'll take my promotion, but I won't be taking it without thinking of everyone who died." It did feel good, to say her feelings for them to hear.

Then, it also alleviated some of her own guilt gradually, like waves washing away grains of sand, one by one, on the shore. Keeping in mind everything that happened, lives lost, just what was at stake if Sephiroth thought himself as a monster, strengthened her will, reminded her what she had to protect, her purpose. This was her burden to bear.

"Forgetting makes the ghosts all too vengeful. To keep them sated, it's best to remember them," Genesis said solemnly. "That said, I don't think they're ghosts that resent you. Once you become a member of SOLDIER officially, however, those are many of the ghosts that you will have to deal with; our work truly isn't any cleaner than that of the Turks. Manslaughter is never clean and you must be a demon to do so. But a merciful demon who never forgets."

Tifa never knew someone like him thought like that when he fought because he seemed all too passionate, not hesitating as he danced his dance of flames and his blade sung as he cut through the air with ferocious speed. But he took in the faces of all of those he killed. Perhaps he didn't like those people, resented many, granted them death because he thought they deserved it; but he was a merciful demon. He admitted he wasn't kindhearted like Zack who thought of himself as a hero, wielding a sword to protect those he cared about.

But he was a merciful demon. That suited Genesis Rhapsodos. He wouldn't ever forget that he took lives, tried his best to let go of all resentment after their death so to not disrespect them. Honourable, even if it was manslaughter, like he said.

An effort to make a disgusting job just a little cleaner.

"And I call merciful demons heroes. You know, that lets me deal with it. If I hated myself all the time, I wouldn't be able to be in SOLDIER," Zack piped up, looking nostalgic when he gazed at Genesis. "Angeal taught me something like that when I first met him; in order to be a hero, you should be respectful of the lives you take."

"Angeal taught me that too," Genesis commented quietly, thinking of just how much he owed his friend to keep him level-headed. "I will impart that knowledge now to my student."

"And I'll take that knowledge and always remember it. I won't forget, not your words, or the people who died. And the people I kill," Tifa said, remembering now how many people must have died when she was a member of AVALANCHE bombing reactors. All too many innocent people that she conveniently forgot in order to save the planet in the name of justice. Shaking her head, she asked, "Where will you two be going?"

"Wutai. Insurgent groups are still a significant problem there because of the people's hatred of Shinra and the outcome of the war." Genesis knew he would use this time now as respite though it wasn't. A few rebel groups wouldn't tax him. And he needed to ponder on many things before he saw Teef's comforting face again. "The puppy and I must deal with them before they become a bigger issue."

Tifa nodded in understanding, trying to ignore the fact that they were going to Yuffie's hometown; the girl was distraught seeing what Wutai became, a tourist attraction instead of a proud, independent nation.

Giving both of them a look of concern, she told them, "Take care of yourselves."

"We will, Teef. Shouldn't take all that long, so sit tight and wait for us, okay?" Zack grinned, but then it slowly fell to be replaced with a softer smile. "And then, when Seph gets back…"

"I'll talk to him. I have to," Tifa promised. She had to, or else she would always regret it, not being there for him in his time of need.

Genesis stood up from his spot on the bed and stood next to Zack. Bending down, he kissed Teef on his forehead, both in thanks for his concern, however unnecessary. It was touching that someone wished for his safety. And he couldn't think of anyone more dependable to watch after Sephiroth after his return, help him open up. Teef had the gift for that, since he suspected that night that seemed so long ago, he would have told him his problems even without alcohol.

"Thank you for your worry Teef, even if there is no cause for it. It'll be no more than a frustratingly simple ordeal." Holding his right cheek in his hand, he stroked the skin with his thumb. "You take care of yourself and be well when I next see you. If you aren't, I will punish you quite severely."

Tifa noted that though his suggestive comments were nothing new, it seemed a bit tame compared to his usual attempts to fluster her.

Noting it correctly, she supposed he was distracted too, also needed his time to think. "Although I love you oh-so-much Genesis, it's unfortunate for me that you don't date men."

With that his laugh was expected and although Tifa would be parting with both Genesis and Zack, they'd be back in the near future. By then, she swore she would help Sephiroth, so when they returned, all they would see would be both of them completely unscathed, healed so well as if they'd never at all been wounded.

No matter what, Tifa promised to do that and she wouldn't be showing them an illusion, a reflection in the surface of water, but a true reality where both of them were well. Where Sephiroth, most of all, had been more than just shoddily glued together, but a sword forged once again with the rarest of metal never to be shattered.

When they arrived in the village of Wutai by nightfall, Genesis, Zack and the three infantrymen who came with them greeted Shinra agents who resided in a home there. Shinra, or more specifically, Turks like that buffoon Reno, cultivated a network of spies so that in regions where the company didn't receive a proper welcome, support could be found. It was a condition Lazard negotiated with their dead and gone previous President Shinra to avoid unnecessary casualties.

In places where Shinra weren't all that welcome, camping outside could have been the norm and in general, they had to do so in many situations. He abhorred camping outside with the dirt, those god forsaken, irritating insects, and constant chance of enemy attacks, leaving him unable to leave his sword for even an hour of peaceful sleep.

Each time they did, Genesis missed sleeping on a bed, his back ached and he felt like he aged rapidly during the night.

Each time he wondered why he didn't just hand in his resignation letter and then remembered that he was no better than a glorified prisoner with a life sentence at Shinra.

Wutai was such an unwelcoming place despite Shinra winning the war. Resentment couldn't be erased all that easily and would be remembered for generations. The region was urbanized so spies could be hired and a network cultivated. Camping outside was more than just inconvenient in this case especially since they needed access to the village to confirm and gather intelligence.

"Thank you for your assistance. It is appreciated," Genesis started, nodding politely when the pretty young woman, the owner of the house alongside her absent father, opened the wooden door of the quaint house.

"It's no problem at all. We received notice from the Turks that you would be needing accommodations here." The woman flushed when her eyes met with Genesis', and she immediately looked at the floor. Of course, Genesis was all too aware of it as such an occurrence was boringly predictable, with an appearance like his. "The inn would be impossible."

Staying at the inn, the only option aside from setting up tents on the outskirts – a dangerous thing indeed - would put the rebels on high alert once they saw Genesis and Zack were clearly part of SOLDIER. Genesis directed that the three infantrymen standing behind him awkwardly like young chicks, looking from him to the young woman and blushing, dress in civilian clothing to draw less attention. This way, they could pass for tourists, a few of many found in Wutai after the major conflict all but ended.

However, those in SOLDIER like he and Zack couldn't hide, and perhaps it was better this way for their plan. Genesis didn't mind playing dumb and serving as a decoy while the job finished. He needed some time to think after all, and only an utter fool would attack him head on with his notorious reputation as a demon in battle.

Resentment towards Shinra was great in these parts, so Genesis wouldn't put it past them to attempt an assassination, and while he and the puppy could easily deal with anyone who tried, infantrymen couldn't. As of this moment, he had use of them, so he waking to find their dead bodies would be more of a loss than anything.

Genesis didn't want his subordinates dying under his command. Only if it was unavoidable, could he allow such a casualty, otherwise he didn't have the skill to be called a First-Class SOLDIER.

"Indeed it would. This is much more comfortable than the alternative of sleeping in the plains," Genesis remarked offhandedly, though with a sly smile when he noticed just how much he affected her, how closely she watched his every move, and when she even licked her lips. She clearly wanted to join him and not to rest, but for other activities in the dead of night. "I will enjoy having solitude so that I may rest. I'm rather exhausted after all."

That indeed was a subtle rejection to the woman, if she took it as such. Genesis didn't desire for company while he slept and he didn't know how to make it more blatantly obvious without outright stating he wasn't interested and humiliating her. While that might be amusing to him, he didn't intend to deal with a scorned woman during the duration of this mission, especially when she happened to be their host.

People who were slighted happened to be quite malicious, and she may have decided to spit in his food as an act of vengeance. So, Genesis rather wanted to avoid her wrath and reject her politely to not encourage such disgusting, unhygienic actions aimed at his person.

Without another word exchanged, the woman nodded at his words and welcomed the group into her home. She gestured the room they would sleep in before excusing herself to the kitchen, brushing past Genesis meaningfully and glancing at him.

"She was making googly-eyes at you, Gen." Zack laughed when he said this. Genesis kept a straight face and Zack continued, "Man am I jealous about your poker face."

"It's no poker face, puppy. It happens often enough and I'm entirely unaffected." Back in the day, he might have even taken up the woman on her unsaid offer. But these days, that thought seemed unappealing, especially when he thought about his dear, injured Teef back in Midgar and how much more visually appealing he was compared to this woman in his eyes. When he caught sight of the three stragglers, he informed them with impatience, "If you want to camp outside, feel free to. It leaves more room for me to stretch my legs."

Snapping out of their stupor, they followed behind Zack and Genesis hastily with a salute and a, "Yes sir!"

"Pretty nice place to sleep in; it beats some of the other places we've stayed at, and it definitely beats camping outside," Zack said, opening the doors to the room the Shinra agent directed them towards.

In traditional Wutaiin style, bedding lay in the closets hidden behind shoji screens on the left and right sides of the space for them to spread out on the floor. Zack began to pull the sheets off of the shelves and set up futons while the infantrymen addressed the mission leader, Genesis, who looked the most out of place in this room.

One of the infantrymen, the third, utterly silent and incredibly proper one, Miles, decided to assist Zack by spreading out sheets and placing cushions on them.

"Thanks. That's a help," Zack told him, and expectedly, he only received a nod, a slight, formal bow of his head.

Out of all of the infantrymen, Genesis liked Miles the best because he was nice and quiet.

"Hey, if we're going to be catching rebels, shouldn't you two disguise yourselves? We're out of our Shinra uniforms too," one of the infantrymen, Caleb, said loudly.

He was an outspoken, plain looking man with unruly brown hair and too many freckles. Not to mention, he lacked a brain and Genesis grew frustrated with those who lacked even the simplest ability to critically analyze a situation.

"It probably wouldn't help anyone. I'm sure Gen can't make himself look like he belongs here at all," Zack joked, continuing to smooth out the crinkles in the sheets.

Although he was a loudmouth and that made him seem more than similar to Zack Fair, the Second-Class possessed intelligence, though he wasn't at all cultured and definitely didn't match the wits of Genesis.

Why Lazard assigned this individual to this mission was beyond Genesis' understanding, especially when their support played such a major role.

As expected, Caleb looked beyond confused.

Sighing, Genesis responded, "Think about it for one moment, will you? Do you think people like us can disguise ourselves? Even if we do wear contacts, the glow of Mako cannot be dimmed entirely; rebels will be able to see. Not to mention, I stand out with my natural features alone; you truly can't expect someone eye-catching to hide in the shadows."

"Oh yeah, that woman was making the moves on you," Caleb stated bluntly, whistling then. "I'm jealous. She was pretty hot – surprised you rejected her."

Utterly no respect for his superiors. Genesis ignored the uselessness of what he said completely and decided to continue with his explanation, since the brat couldn't be trusted to make his own conclusions about the obvious.

He referred more to his red hair and well-known features due to his station to anyone not living under a rock, but it didn't hurt to state the truth that those attempting to hide were better off looking plain and clueless like Caleb. Even though he was certain Zack referred more to the former, since he markedly looked like an outsider, and one up to no good; well, for the rebels, at least.

They couldn't count on it being a blessing that Genesis would be the last person they saw since he was notorious for giving even those he sparred with in jest nightmares for weeks.

"Furthermore we are here for our fighting prowess, not any other reason." Gesturing to the outfit Caleb wore, which made it impossible to carry a weapon like Rapier, he said, "Such garbs handicap us, although I'm certain we won't even need to use even ten percent of our power here."

"T-Then why're we d-dressed like this, isn't it d-dangerous?" The last infantrymen assigned to this mission was an inconceivably timid coward who went by the name of Eric. He mumbled pathetically, quietly so it wouldn't be heard by Genesis, "I w-want to g-go h-home…"

Unfortunately, Genesis' Mako enhancements made it all too easy to hear the words that in reality, couldn't make the young man lose face any more than he already had in his eyes. Genesis could count one hand how many times he'd seen the man's eyes because of how long he grew his dark bangs and how fond he was of addressing people's feet when he talked.

Not to mention, those in the military may have been hired guns, but to not even understand the situation they were put in or their surroundings was more of a crime than anything. However, with that braying nuisance, Heidegger, in charge of the military they might not have entirely been at fault. Those in the infantry were pitiful with poor guidance.

"We serve as decoys while you do the work, obviously. You'll be the one pinpointing their location with the intelligence provided by the Turks since you can pass for tourists; we don't expect you to do much more," Genesis remarked with heavy disappointment. "If you're so frightened, why in Minerva's name did you join the army?"

As if that wasn't bad enough, the brat looked as if he wanted to cry. Well, Genesis couldn't be certain, but he did see the man's lip quiver. Caleb slapped his forehead and elbowed Eric in the abdomen, receiving a groan of pain in reply.

If Genesis wasn't mistaken, he saw some fear in the idiot's eyes. He could deal with that sort of forced respect, so long as the man didn't think of him as a doormat nor or a friend by association who he could talk to about poorly seducing women. He didn't desire to go back in time and listen to talk from the men in the barracks that would no doubt dull his own mind.

He knew he was frightening and he did often make cadets run laps until they threw up if they irritated him.

But for his reputation as a demon among demons to spread so far was indeed a pleasant surprise.

"Now that this is resolved, it would be wise for you three to go to sleep. I won't accept sluggishness jeopardizing a mission," Genesis suggested, making his move to leave the room. "Meanwhile, I need to go for a breath of fresh air."

"Gen, I'll come with you." Zack stood up after he finished his work setting up the bedding. He moved to follow Genesis out the door, and turned back to the three of them with a grin and mouthed, "Sca-ry."

Caleb, Eric, and even expressionless Miles kneeled down, backs rigidly straight, and nodded furiously, which made Zack laugh.

"I would rather be frightening than a grinning imbecile, puppy," Genesis remarked bluntly, completely reading through their games and walking out the door without another glance.

He needed his solitude, just like he intended, to think. Even though he knew he needed this time, he indeed missed eyes of wine, teasing remarks exchanged, playful jesting, cutting apple rabbits and having dinner, talking of LOVELESS and enjoying each other's company. It almost hurt just how much he missed it, him, even though for a while now, he hadn't gone on missions abroad which used to be a common occurrence.

Walking outside in Wutai was a rather beautiful thing; the fireflies came out at night and the river water sang a song that couldn't be heard in the day, soothing as the stream travelled over stones and fish swum. He could hear crickets too, the only sound of living things in the dead of night. Unlike Midgar because of the vast pollution, he could see the stars too, bright and radiant like sequins on fine dark silk in the sky, and it reminded him of home.

In Banora, he and Angeal often went stargazing after climbing the massive dumbapple tree on his parents' property and sitting on its boughs.

He sat near the riverbank after reminiscing on those old memories, close to the water's song enough to wash away the weariness in his mind.

"So, why're you acting scarier than normal?" Zack's voice cut through the silence of the night. He took a seat beside Genesis, not that the man didn't know he followed him for the last fifteen minutes. He did say he would come after all, and Zack wasn't the most unwelcome company. "If I didn't know you already, I probably would've pissed myself."

"You're too dense to feel fear as you should," Genesis commented, not looking away from the water rushing past, the only thing which moved in the night, the only thing which stopped time from freezing entirely. "I'm unbothered."

"That's not true. There's a reason why you wanted to get away from Midgar," Zack began, not looking at Genesis' expression, "and Teef, right?"

Genesis didn't answer, and instead chose to take that moment to look at his companion. Zack looked calm, not at all like an excitable pup, more of a mature wolf. These days, Zack looked through to the core he kept hidden with ease, almost as if his entire body was constructed completely of clear glass of the highest degree of transparency. He did the same when Genesis found himself too afraid to meet up with Teef who he spent all that time searching for, chastising him on what it meant to be a hero.

Fearlessness didn't make him a hero, Zack said, only the ability to confront that. Those words still stayed with him, and despite this man being Angeal's student, Genesis learned a lesson that day.

More than that, he realized Zack Fair may not have been intelligent in the conventional sense, or cultured, or quick witted in many ways, but when it came to people, he was shockingly perceptive. Those wits of his were sharper than even Masamune.

He thought again about a voice as enchanting as that of a siren, hair that appeared as if it were painted of ink, soft skin as his lips brushed against it, closed his eyes and exhaled.

"I've come to the realization that I may have found that my… interests lie in more than one place. It's rather unconventional," Genesis said vaguely, wondering just how strange he must have sounded saying this out loud. With a chuckle lacking usual jest, he continued, "That is the reason why I needed time to think. Away from Midgar where I'll see him."

"Yeah you treat him like you're interested in him. Thought you already realized that it wasn't the platonic way to be treating a guy," Zack said unhesitatingly. When he looked at Genesis' frown and how he appeared honestly shakenby this realization, he wanted to get a laugh out of him. This man was normally so cutting, sarcastic, with a talent for a dry sort of humour and flamboyancy, but never did he actually seem lost. Every so often, he seemed sorrowful, furious like a raging hell storm, but he always had words to say. "You wouldn't cut me apple rabbits or kiss me on the cheek, right?"

"Even the thought disgusts me," Genesis snapped back. To have to kiss a dog and one as irritating as Zack Fair didn't even seem moderately appealing. Then, he paused and said quietly, "Anyone but Teef to kiss seems repulsive to me at the moment."

"Then that's simple right? You realized you like him. What's the big deal?" he replied, resting his chin on his hands as he scrutinized Genesis closely. "I don't get like this when I like someone."

"Excuse me for taking a small moment to question where my interests lie, since everyone before now has been a woman," he said, voice dripping in acid. Everyone who he'd been attracted had been female, not a man like Teef, albeit a man who looked delicate enough to be female. Yet, all of their faces blurred together like the paints on an artist's palette and only Teef's stood out, beautiful Teef Lockhart who sent warm, sweet hot cocoa coursing through his veins straight to his heart. Such a feeling could keep heat in him on even the coldest day spent in Icicle Inn. "But now I've realized I've fallen for a man. My friend, the fates are cruel…"

"I guess that's different. But," Zack told him, leaning back to feel the cool grass against the skin of his arms, and to look up at the stars, "Now you can figure out what to tell him. There's no way you're going to do nothing about it, right? He's in SOLDIER now so he's not officially under you, either." He paused, and then smirked mischievously. "Well, he's not under you in any sense right now."

"You couldn't resist making a lewd joke, could you?" Genesis sighed, but then thought about Zack's words.

What did he wish to do about this? If this were a woman, he wouldn't be one to waste time and instead simply ask her to a romantic outing. He backtracked for a second and realized he already did that with Teef already, inviting him to see LOVELESS in a setting fit for a romantic night, even having an almost kiss at the end of the night after depositing him at his bedroom door.

He realized for quite a while that he was in some way drawn to Teef Lockhart, hopelessly desiring like a dehydrated man in an arid desert to water. He thought many times of Teef's appearance, his likeness to a woman, how he may have even had feelings for him.

He wasn't clueless, but this incident sealed the envelope surely so he couldn't make any changes to the writing inside, the details of letters written in ink. His attraction to Teef ran much deeper than he thought possible, and almost losing him showed that to him in an unpleasant way.

That only left one option, but Genesis didn't know if he could do it in the right manner. Despite his experience when it came to romance, or at the very least seducing someone, in this matter he was naïve and inexperienced because Teef Lockhart was a man.

"In time I'll tell him. Before then, I'll transform his affection to be the same type as mine. It shouldn't matter if he's a man or a woman so long as I'm attracted to him." Pausing for a moment to let his own words sink in, to feel his own resolve, he then continued with a soft smile, "Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return"

It didn't matter, never would. Hearing those words from his own mouth solidified that belief, carved it into a diamond sign to remain permanently for all wanderers to see. With that, he could act cautiously, but never hiding all in the shadows for no one to see. He could approach this as a new experience, treat Teef preciously, but determined to let him know the nature of his fondness.

Even if that love of his couldn't be returned, and he feared that, he would be a hero who could confront that fear. Nothing could change how he felt, and hiding it only made it that much more painful, that much more guilt-inducing.

Whenever Genesis thought of Teef, he became entirely too compassionate, it seemed, and strangely submissive. But that didn't matter all that much to him, because he knew the only one who could make him act that way was Teef and to anyone else, he would stay the frightening monster parents told their children about to manipulate them into behaving well.

"That's the spirit," Zack encouraged, laughing. "Don't know why it took you this long to figure out the obvious. Losing your touch, Gen?"

"Quit your barking," Genesis said sternly, though that didn't stop Zack from laughing even harder. When he stopped, and silence again filled the air, he divulged, "Your words were helpful however. Somehow, it felt like a crude, entirely ungraceful, inappropriate version of what 'Geal might have told me."

"So… uh, was that a compliment or an insult?" Zack asked honestly.

No matter how he thought about it, comparing his words to those of Angeal was a compliment, since Genesis was his closest friend since childhood, but the rest of it didn't seem all that much like a compliment. At all.

"Thanks for business again, Fuhito! Come back for drinks anytime!"

Genesis looked towards another building, the Turtle Paradise Bar, if he wasn't mistaken, and saw the bartender with salt and pepper hair waving to his last customer of the night: a man named Fuhito with brown hair, glasses, and an overly polite smile on his face that reminded him entirely too much of Rufus Shinra.

Anyone resembling Rufus Shinra had intentions that did no one good but themselves, and this observation made Genesis fixate on this suspicious individual.

"Of course, I'll be sure to. Thank you for your hospitality," the stranger named Fuhito responded with a nod.

He turned his back on the man and walked in the direction of the inn, hands at his belt, fiddling with an object resembling the handle of a gun, with a holster hidden beneath his coat most probably.

When he saw the two of them sitting by the river bank, he gave them a small smile and said, "Have a good night," before departing, walking slowly, at ease in the darkness of the night.

"That guy doesn't look like a tourist. At all," Zack remarked, narrowing his eyes at the young man's back. "If we're talking about people not fitting in, he's worse than you."

"Tourists don't have guns," Genesis agreed with Zack wholeheartedly. "I don't believe he's a member of our rebel group, but something else is amiss."

They both stood up and decided to head back to the home to sleep. Genesis thought of why the name Fuhito sounded familiar to him, but it didn't come to him. He may have had some connection to the rebels, though Genesis doubted it by how openly he paraded himself around, weapons and all; furthermore, he appeared cunning, rather like a fox with his smile and high possibility of deceitful intentions.

Eliminating the insurgents took first priority. After that, they could figure out what this individual wanted, what his motives were. A genius wasn't necessary to infer that he didn't mean well in the least.

When Rayleigh gave Tifa the go-ahead to leave the infirmary, she immediately debated over what to do about her roommates, how to apologize, how to explain what went wrong. The guilt slowly ate away at her, swallowed her whole and left no nutrients for anything else just like a parasite sapping her life force. She steeled herself and prepared to make her way to her room, but then she heard the rumours, the whispers and the gossip of Shinra staff.

In particular, the conversation between two infantrymen on the way to her room caught her attention and she couldn't help but eavesdrop.

"Yeah, I mean, he's usually pretty unapproachable and I mean, I'd piss myself just 'cause of what he's capable of in battle. But damn," one said, shuddering when he remembered whatever traumatic experience happened to him, "he was scary this time. I swear I could count the number of words he said on both my hands for the whole mission!"

"Really? I heard he's polite enough, and isn't really unsociable. Always makes sure his team knows what's going on and even teaches them stuff along the way," his friend replied, frowning. "One of my buddies actually learned more about Materia from him than he did in class. And hell, this isn't even the Materia expert, Rhapsodos we're talking about here."

"Wasn't at all like that this time. Wonder if something got him in a foul mood. The way he fought the monsters around the area too…" he trailed off, seeming troubled. "It was different. A lot less graceful and a hell of a lot more brutal."

"Graceful?" The other man snorted, amused. "We using pretty adjectives to describe the fighting of your man-crush now?"

"H-He's not my man-crush!"

After that, the conversation degenerated into nonsense that Tifa didn't need to hear at all. But that got her thinking. The person they referred to who could lecture about Materia without being Genesis had to be Sephiroth. No mistake, before he snapped, he gladly shared his knowledge with her at the natural Materia fountain in Mt. Nibel. This memory she didn't even have to rely on Zack and Cloud for.

She knew it all on her own because she remembered that day when fire raged in Nibelheim so clearly, so vividly, that the scene itself still gave her nightmares; she suffered burns when the fire licked her skin that couldn't be remedied. She remembered everything about that day, even what she had for breakfast and what clothes she wore, every single detail.

All this meant that Sephiroth was back from his mission in Mideel that Genesis and Zack informed her about.

She remembered her own words, how she said she would talk to him. No matter what happened, she had to keep this promise at least, no matter how powerless she was in the long run.

Clenching her fists, she mumbled, "I promised to protect Kris and I didn't do it. This time…"

Where could he be? If they talked about Sephiroth being in a foul mood, cutting things up without grace, no doubt he must have been stressed, disturbed. They used the word brutal not just fatigued or sad.

It came to her then. "He might still be fighting!"

With that thought in mind, she rushed to the elevator and pressed in the number for the SOLDIER Floor. The training room seemed the most reasonable place for him to be. Tifa remembered countless days when she too felt stressed, and when she did, she wanted to pummel something, to project her endless energy into another like an injection, syringe emptying gradually. When the syringe did empty, only then could she sleep without the trouble of having dreams haunt her, ghosts brush their chilling aura over her and possesses her.

Walking past the training floor proved her right. Sephiroth trained there, alert, poised to attack, not even the slightest bit out of breath despite how he'd been there for quite a while.

A large behemoth came at him, dwarfing him, and he charged at it. Tifa gasped when he propelled himself into the air, twisted Masamune in the air to his front so quickly that it sung as it travelled. Without the slightest bit of emotion on his face that she could see, he stepped upon the paw the behemoth swiped at him with and used it as a stepping stone.

With that terrifying power she remembered from the days of tragedies, when he killed her father, when he burned the town of Nibelheim, when he attempted to destroy the world with the creature he mistakenly called his mother, he plunged the blade into the chest of the creature as it roared.

She could only watch, wide-eyed as he landed lightly on both feet like a cat. Even though the behemoth was mere data and she could see it both fragment and begin to disappear, she could see what the infantrymen referred to.

Sephiroth was still graceful; she couldn't fault him there because with a blade like Masamune, one had to be. But this style of his, his empty eyes, his tight lips and the very air around his form as cold as nitrogen gas warning everyone away like a danger sign, proved indefinitely unlike him from what Tifa had learned of this Sephiroth, the kind one.

Her saliva tasted sour when she swallowed, and when she thought of how this seemed like something the other Sephiroth would do; rather, what he did do. That Sephiroth impaled a Midgar Zolom and kept its body on display to keep them at bay, to force them to think again about what kind of force they reckoned with. The massive snake's corpse showed that it met its demise in a strikingly similar way to this behemoth.

"Teef." Sephiroth sensed her and gazed at her with those cold, empty eyes of his. The Mako felt piercing, unlike it normally would, almost as if she too was under threat from his blade, so sharp it glinted under the light. His stare seemed unfamiliar to her, questioning, probing, as if he too struggled to find something out. "What brings you here?"

He asked her why when it should have been obvious. Tifa worried for him, and she hadn't seen him since the whole stint with Hojo. But that he didn't acknowledge this, that anything happened at all, permeated her fully, making her feel bitter, and reminiscent, nostalgic like she lost times from long ago.

"You know why, Sephiroth. Don't pretend." Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to remember that this man wasn't that demon Sephiroth, not at all.

In his eyes, in that stony gaze, she could see sorrow, something unmistakably human unlike the monster that he turned into in a different reality. Comforting herself by chanting that repeatedly, reassuring herself, she approached him and met his eyes with her own.

"Pretend? Are you familiar with that term?" he asked rhetorically before shaking his head. "Never mind that; it's unimportant."

That seemed abstract, overly vague too. Tifa didn't know what he meant, but thought to ignore it instead to focus on why she came here.

Moreover, he seemed so puzzled, yet to let that go and say it was unimportant. His expression made Tifa curious too.

She looked him in the eye, unafraid even though Masamune cut her once previously and she remembered it, even though she saw all those horrors before which still clung to her like leeches constantly draining her blood and leaving her weary.

This was her friend, Sephiroth.

"I need answers. I know you were the one who sacrificed something to save me. I want to know what you did, whether I'm right!" Tifa demanded, adrenaline running through her veins, her heart beating so loudly that she reckoned Sephiroth might have been able to hear it. "I want to thank you, I want you to know I'm worried over you!"

"Don't approach a monster so carelessly Teef." Sephiroth's façade faltered just a little but it was enough for her to know he hadn't become a monster, despite what he said. He turned away from her, and when he did, Tifa couldn't help but glance at Masamune which now faced her from how he held the blade, sharp and deadly. "One day, this blade could be soaked in your blood."

Once, Sephiroth did cut her down with that blade and she thought that the Grim Reaper would soon come for a visit to claim her tattered soul. But despite all things, and her wounds which looked as if they withered her life away like the petals of a rose, she rose like a zombie from the ground and continued to live.

Tifa was one of few who survived Sephiroth's famed blade, even if he only considered her a nuisance at that time, not someone to expend energy on killing.

These words struck a chord in her when she all but snapped and the urge to slug Sephiroth in the face entered her mind, growing uncontrollably like multiplying amoebas. "Monsters don't feel things like remorse when they kill, damn it!"

Those words reverberated against the walls, making such an open space seem even emptier. No other sound could be heard, and both she and Sephiroth didn't say another word for what seemed like an eternity, even if in reality it was only a few short minutes.

Tifa wanted him to know that she didn't think of him as a monster, that he couldn't be one no matter what definition a person used. No, she didn't just want him to know; she needed him to know.

If he didn't realize that he had as much humanity as anyone, or rather more with his heart of precious gold compared so many people who claimed themselves to be humans while being both cruel and callous, a part of her heart, her soul, her foundations, would necrotize completely. That fate had the potential to harm not only her though, but every single person on the planet and Gaia itself.

Sephiroth needed to stay human, not fall prey to the monster which sought to devour him whole and digest him, become him.

"You're human, Sephiroth! The fact that you did all of this to protect me proves it, doesn't it?" Her voice gradually rose in volume as she all but begged him to just realize, to just see what she saw in him, to realize how much all of them cared for him. Trembling from a mixture of anxiety and anger, her nerves tightened to such a degree where she felt completely rigid. "Listen to me. I don't even care one iota about your sword and how you can kill me – you won't! No way in hell will I die by your blade, Sephiroth!"

He appeared to think about her words for a moment, silence, and then a soft, "How do you know? You have no idea what it is I've done." Then, on guard, before he seriously asked, "And can I trust your honesty to tell me what you feel?"

Why did he seem to be asking more than he appeared?

"I can make a few guesses, I'm not an idiot. I know what you did, and I can't fault you for it, Sephiroth. Tell me in your own words why you did it – I doubt it'll change my mind," she told him, determined. "I'm your friend. I'll always care! And because I'm your friend I owe you my utmost honesty in telling you it's not your fault."

That seemed to satisfy him somewhat, since he opened up to her at least a little.

"I killed him for information." Sephiroth didn't say anything more on the subject and because he didn't face her, Tifa couldn't make note of his expression, either. "I killed him as part of my side of the deal for information, and to have Rufus get full control of the Turks. I only thought of how to keep you safe, but it led me to walk into his office and murder him with my own two hands. And in the end, I couldn't assist you."

That confirmed her suspicion that Rufus had been pulling the strings.

The President's death had come at too opportune a time and Rufus stood to gain most from it. Thinking about it, it didn't seem too farfetched that he made a deal with Hojo when he learned of his interest in her, and using that he offered to speak to his father to lend him the aid of the Turks.

That deal was made with the intention of betraying Hojo and using Sephiroth's emotions to have him stain his blade in the blood of his father. He skillfully danced around them without once dirtying his own hands, the only consolation being that the President's death could be blamed now on Hojo who defected and who Rufus had never been fond of.

She saw his grip tighten on the hilt of the infamous sword, in anger, or guilt, a mixture of the two for the fact of his realization that he'd been so completely used, like a pawn in a game of chess despite being noble and true. The thought saddened her more than anything about how many scars this left on his mind, how many incisions had not been cleaned and were left for bacteria to build their homes and for infection to spread, tainting him with illness.

"That's why I'm a monster. I'm a liar and a cheat blaming this upon Hojo no matter what other sickening things he's done," he said, turning to her then. Thankfully, he seemed more human than ever before, not void of emotion, although he seemed to hide it. Her words affected him after all, no matter what he said. Trusting her enough, he opened up to her about what exactly he did, and she found herself sympathizing with the man for being used and thrown aside like an old toy. "I can't call myself a warrior for killing someone outside of war. Neither can I call myself human."

Thoughts in her mind emptied themselves to leave just a blank slate behind to be a host to primitive emotions without any writing, without any context. Actions separated from words, from thoughts, her hand reached to grab Masamune and drag it up to be level with her chest where her heart beat to sustain her life.

Wincing when the dangerously sharp metal sliced through the skin on her palm didn't make her waver. Not even when the blood coloured her hand red and travelled down her wrist like ruby rivulets, slowly dripping to the ground, did she ever lose eye contact with him. This sword slashed through her once.

Even if it did so again, Tifa vowed to not die.

"I don't believe for one second you're an unthinking monster. You're powerful, but you choose what you're going to use that power for," she explained. Drawing up old memories again, she thought of her lessons with Master Zangan, what he always taught her and decided that maybe, those words would serve Sephiroth now and in the future. "My teacher told me before that everyone who wields a weapon trains to be a killer. But the one thing that stops someone from becoming a monster is doing what they do for the sake of someone else. As long as you think long and hard about why you're doing something, who you're doing it for, you'll be a hero to just as many people who consider you a monster. And that should be enough." Once again, she reminded him, "You're not a mindless murderer, Sephiroth. You had that reason! And I think of you as a hero, not a monster. What you did saved my life, so how the hell could I?"

"But I…" he trailed off, and Tifa wondered if she'd ever seen him so lost, so out of words no matter what dictionary he bothered to thumb through.

"Monsters don't feel guilt. Monsters don't reflect. Monsters don't give a damn about anyone else, and it's all too obvious that you do; I don't become friends with monsters, none of us do," she told him, voice shaking. The room suddenly appeared blurry to her, and all the blood rushed straight to her head giving her a horrible migraine in her anger, her passion. Clenching her fists didn't appease anything, and neither did holding her arms so straight, so tense and rigid at the elbow that she swore she could've snapped them like twigs for all their flexibility. "So you can't be."

Sephiroth dropped his sword and it clattered to the floor, falling from her weakened grip upon it as well. When it did, she finally felt the sting on her palm, the dull ache that reminded her had happened. Looking at it now, she knew it'd scar, maybe even if she casted cure on it right now. It'd always serve as a reminder of what happened, and Tifa was alright with that, determined to remember always.

His eyes had a bit more life in them now, though he remained silent. Tifa just embraced him and promised to take care of him until he got better.

"My apologies. I know what to do."

Tifa didn't know what that meant, but didn't ask, for fear that if she did, he'd clam up again, holding his negative emotions inside him until they boiled over in a raging typhoon. Until they destroyed him body and soul.

She led him to his couch and kept him company in his home. It'd been a silent walk, almost unbearable. The emptiness of his living quarters didn't make that any better. It was a barren wasteland, devoid of any presence of life, like memories preserved in a time capsule, or furniture displayed in a model home. Sephiroth rarely slept here, he said, didn't like thinking of Shinra as a home, even if he hadn't known any other.

Tifa took out a small metal tea-kettle and began to boil water, the only sound that could be heard, like crickets in the night.

Until Sephiroth broke the silence, saying, "Rufus informed me of… something after I went to check on him to ensure that he had been honouring his deal."

It sounded ominous, like something Tifa didn't want to hear. Suddenly her heart started pounding and that sound, she swore, could be heard.

"I'm not that dishonourable, General. I personally saw to it that the poet and the knight had a guide to rescue the damsel," Rufus said with a laugh spinning his leather chair around to face Sephiroth.

Sephiroth didn't answer, placed his hand on the smooth, cool cherry wood surface of the desk, bringing his fingers inward to clench his fists. Indeed he was content that Teef would be rescued, but was still empty and numb from what he had to do to secure that help.

"You know that the money-hungry fool wasn't of value to this world," he said, eying the expression, or lack of, on Sephiroth's face, with each word his how his lips tightened and his gaze hardened. "You're far more useful than the former President of Shinra. You, for one, were capable of weighing two choices presented in front of you: to kill, or not to kill, the former in order to save Lockhart, the latter to prevent your own mental deterioration from trauma. They call you a dog, but if you think on it," he continued, rising then to move to the window, "the only animal was him."

Sephiroth moved to stand beside Rufus, seeing the Mako reactors from afar, draining up the lifeblood of the planet, refining it to a form of convenience. He didn't like Mako, not what it did, not the reliance people had upon it either. But figuratively or not, he was a dog of Shinra eternally bound to support its claims, no matter the lengths of President Shinra's greed.

He cleansed his mind of all these thoughts when talking to Rufus Shinra then, immediately as they came through. By this whole event, the man proved himself to be quite the conductor, directing sections of his orchestra to play when he wished and on his whim, how exactly to do so, the lower brass, the woodwinds, the strings, until they all worked in concert to form a piece to his liking. Speaking to him reminded Sephiroth a lot of Genesis, the poet as Rufus referred to him, except with far more sinister intentions.

He didn't bleed, didn't cry, felt little care for anyone not of use to him and primarily only worked to further his own goals. If he were any less organized and ambitious, then he would cause chaos for his own amusement. Rufus' agenda made him safer, somewhat. He didn't make decisions on a whim.

"Not that I mean to stop Mako production. But, he was too far gone to salvage. His love of money was so astounding that he became delusional, wanting more and more Mako until he resolved that he needed to control even the mythological Promised Lands," Rufus explained, feeling no shame in mocking his flesh and blood that he ultimately killed. "He wasn't a creature capable of making sound-decisions. He was consumed by his appetite." He turned to face Sephiroth, a smirk on his lips. "Someone capable of making sound-decisions can decide what to do with the information given to him all the while critically analyzing the consequences of his decisions. Are you capable of that, Sephiroth?"

Sephiroth spoke for the first time since he entered the office. "You seem to have a preconceived notion of my capability to reason. I am not stopping you from saying what you wish."

When he came into check on Rufus, the man already knew what he came to confirm. His voice was even, as to talk, to communicate, felt surreal in and of itself, like he was looking from outside at his body. That, and killing President Shinra killed any feeling in him leaving his soul devoid of all colour.

So much that he didn't even recognize that Rufus might share information that would send an electric current through him, shocking him into feeling something besides bitter emptiness again.

Rufus opened his desk drawer and pulled out a manila file, passing it to Sephiroth. Upon opening it, Sephiroth could see the file to contain Teef Lockhart's medical records.

He raised an eyebrow questioningly, to which Rufus responded, "It all starts from Teef Lockhart's supposed Mako poisoning, the secrecy that is."

He flipped the pages, starting with the initial Mako poisoning diagnosis, requests for painkillers, always being treated in the private infirmary no matter the commonality of the injuries, Rayleigh insisting to Lazard that the Mako poisoning made Teef her responsibility.

"Knowing the woman, Rayleigh, no doubt Teef Lockhart has some genuine Mako condition that is unique enough to research. But it's always used as a pretext to treat Teef privately. And, imagine my surprise when I found out about... his Mako tolerance test?" He flipped to the most recent pages, and explained, clearly amused, "Mako reacts with various hormones in the body, omitting all the medical details, and synchronizes at a different rate for men and women. The average quantity they can take before Mako poisoning is around the same, but women can have Mako introduced more quickly for the effect to compound; Mako is accepted more easily into the body. In this test, the rate of Mako injected per second is standardized. Rayleigh's patient Teef Lockhart is the only deviation. She didn't need to do this, but the product wouldn't match the relative Mako given if she didn't do it more quickly."

Rufus closed the folder then and asked Sephiroth, "So what did you get from that? And more importantly," his smile looked more predatory than anything then, "what will you do with this information?"

"That is not for you to know," Sephiroth could only manage to answer.

"You are a woman, are you not, Teef Lockhart?"

Even though Sephiroth's tone was innocent, not in the least bit threatening, Tifa dropped the cup of tea she held.

It crashed to the ground, splintering into shards that made music, the basses, the woodwinds, and strings as they effortlessly became an orchestra.