Chapter 12: Dismantle. Repair.

Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a month. An entire month Seth was successfully avoiding both men. There were attempts that each man presented to him, attempts at making him fall back on his mission to be different. He looked around the old familiar apartment that he had left months ago for the sole purpose of being with Roman; Roman the man who treated him like a prince since the day they met. His hand ran along the soft fabric of the couch; the same couch he used to cuddle on with Roman. He chewed back on his lip shaking his head slowly as his mind worked against him, making up memories with Dean.

His hand ran over his mouth, shakily; the unease of being alone having an effect on him that was less desirable. There were nights that sleep just refused to come for him; the temptation to pounce on the phone; just to melt and mewl to the sound of the voice on the other end. He looked up at the familiar sounds of the heels clicking against the tile floor of the small space, his long-time best friend coming into his sights holding out a hot cup of coffee in her manicured hands. He slowly and shakily took the cup from the woman and nodded slowly, "Thank you Leighla. You really didn't have come here; I don't need you to take care of me. I'll… be fine."

Leighla rolled her eyes and shook her head slowly, "mhm, that's what you think Colby. I'm sorry sweetie but you look like a hot mess and over what? Over something that is pointless to be freaking out over." The young woman had known Seth for years; watched him through the good times and the bad and knew of all of the bad choices that Seth made in the past years. There was nothing that Seth felt that Leighla didn't know about; one being how the man truly felt about both of the men.

His hands started to shake at the words that came from her mouth, unable to keep the contents of the hot beverage from spilling all over the place. He knew that from and outsiders point of view that his panic, his concerns were nothing; that there shouldn't be any of the emotions that Seth should be going through. He knew that his feelings for Dean were some of the most obvious things in the world; especially how the younger man acted around him. He moved to slam the cup down on the coffee table, harder than he expected as the ceramic container broke before his eyes.

He growled as he threw the handle of the cup over on the ground; getting up to pace around the living room, his hands gripping at his hair in a panic. The tears stung at his eyes, his breathing more labored than usual; his mind questioning everything that was going through it. It had been a month since he ran from Dean's house; ran away to Roman's to get his things and return back to his old apartment. One long month of avoiding actually dealing with what he was really feeling deep down in his heart, with Leighla there this was a horrible time to actually deal with everything. "Can you go," he said softly to the woman who was just sitting there looking between him and the shattered cup on the table.

She chewed on her lip as she moved to get up and move for the table to clean up the mess, "Uhm, yea. I can go after I …"

"No, Leigh! Just leave it, my mess I'll clean it up," he hollered at the woman before she could even finish the thought or the action. He looked over as the sounds of the shuffling footsteps and closing to the door, indicated that he was finally alone. He moved to sit back in the couch again, his hands running over his face as he bent over, sobbing into his hands. This was all of his mess and he needed to fix all of it, but question of how he was going to fix everything as he was broken in every way as it was. There was no one there to help fix him all over again; the one man who helped him with was the one he ran away from.

Nights of just being able to talk to Dean of all the things that haunted him; the things that the older man understood about where he came from and who he was filled his memory and senses. Seth had seen and experienced a side to Dean Ambrose that no one knew and it made his heart warm in every way; the trust they shared was everything that he had and he ran away from that. "Why… Did I run," he questioned out loud at the feel of what he believed to be imaginary arms wrap around him, as he looked down.

The set of strong arms wrapped tighter around him, pulling him close as a set of soft lips kissed him on the side of his head. "If I knew why you ran, I probably wouldn't be here looking for answers," answered a familiar voice, with no sign of malice or hurt.

Seth's heart dropped at the sound of the voice; his thoughts froze as he moved to look up and found himself looking up as his own time lover. "J… Jon," he shuddered out softly as he choked back on tears that threatened to spill once more; his body instinctively leaning into Dean's broad chest. His body shook as Dean's arms squeezed around him tightly; there was that side that only he was allowed to see in moments like this. "I'm… sorry….I'm so fucking sorry," he shuddered out softly, breathing in the man as much as he could.

"Shut up," Dean muttered out softly as he continued to hold the man; allowing him to just sob into one of his favorite t-shirts. It was a small sacrifice to pay for visiting the man when he was just really not even ready to deal with anything, but he couldn't resist coming to see him. He sighed as he moved to push Seth's head up to meet with his eyes, sighing softly at the sight of his red, puffy eyes and shook his head, "fuck what have I done to you?"

Seth shook his head swiftly at the question that was presented to him, "this …. Wasn't your fault, Jon, please don't think that it was." He moved up closer to the man, grabbing at his face and shook his head again, "I did this to myself, I messed everything up, I ruined everything; I'm a horrible selfish man. I… Just couldn't accept how things were…"

Dean growled slightly as he pulled the other man into a kiss, deep and passionate. There was nothing else that he could do; there was something about the man that sat before him. He loved the man with everything that he could love another person with; there was no question about he felt. He pulled back and kissed him again softly, "Colby… just shut up. Okay? You can blame yourself all you want, but this isn't your fault. It was never your fault."

He pushed Seth back as he moved to get up off of the couch and sighed softly, rubbing at the back of his neck. "Joe… He told me about what happened that day I left you guys in my house, he told me about the kiss and everything. "He paused for a moment as he watched Seth look away from him, noting the shameful look that crossed over Seth's face and sighed softly. "He wanted me to check on you and to let you know that he took that as a good-bye kiss."

'Good-bye kiss,' Seth looked over at Dean, his expression confused by the words; but there was something about the way Dean was looking at him. Seth knew what Dean looked like when he was lying and none of the signed showed up on his face, he moved to get up from the couch walking over to Dean. "Jon, you better not be shitting me. You better not be fuckin' lying to me."

Dean smirked slightly as his hand moved to rub up and down the other man's arm, "I'm not. We just talked the other night, but … You need to talk to him about it. You need to be the one that ends it for good; I just came to check on you. Call me after you talk to him."

A/N: ARGH! OKAY WE ARE ALMOST AT THE END. 2 MORE CHAPTERS AND AN EPILOGE AND DONE! I THINK MAYBE… WHO KNOWS? ;-; I AM GOING TO MISS WRITING THIS, MAYBE. THANK YOU GUYS FOR BEING AMAZING AND FOLLOWING THIS STOY. THAT'S ABOUT IT. OH. AND LEIGHLA, YUP THAT'S BASED OFF OF SETH'S REAL LIFE GIRLFRIEND AND SHE'S NOT VILLAFIED BECAUSE I LOVER HER.