Halimath (September)

Monday 11th: Everyone knows about the party now and there is a sense of expectation and anticipation whenever one walks into the town – and there is still a week and a bit to go until the event! I must say, there's one thing about hobbits and that's that they know how to have a good time!

I have been sorting what I shall leave to various hobbits. Of course the majority will be left to Frodo, but Bag End really does need a clear out.

Ah, in these balmy early autumn evenings, I feel happy. Aside from the nagging fear, which I am growing used to now, there is nothing which marrs my last days here. I am so prepared for leaving though, that I have got my bags all ready, and then unpacked them, thinking it's far too early, and then packing them again. Frodo says I'm being idle; that if that's my sole concern I'm evidently not doing enough! Ah, he's right, but he's managing everything else so well, so I don't complain.

All the anticipation is affecting me – I, too, feel excited! Never before have I been so looking forward to my own birthday! Not since my fortieth, when the drudgery of adult life really kicked in. Or knowing me, possibly even my thirty-fifth birthday; I was ever a rather boring hobbit before my adventure!

Whenever I have gone into the town recently I have been besieged by well-wishers, and once or twice I have caught sight of Lobelia and Otho. Otho has sent a tentative smile my way, before his wife has pulled him off in the opposite direction. Perhaps Frodo will be able to further my efforts, and actually get somewhere towards mending relations.

But now, back to the job at hand. It is rather fun, leaving meaningful items to various people. I have the perfect idea – I shall leave Lobelia the silver cutlery set. The one she has always particularly admired on all her numerous visits. Won't she love that? I almost wish I could stay, just to see her face.

Mersday 21st: Gandalf has come. It is evening, and the town went to sleep early in preparation for tomorrow. As it grew dark and the stars in the sky shone ever brighter, we talked; about anything and everything. We sat outside under the moon and smoked. When I was sure Frodo was in his room, I brought up the fear and weight I have been feeling, and concealing. I have hated hiding it from Frodo, but I would not ruin his last days of innocence and veritable freedom.

Gandalf looked concerned, and questioned me closely. He hasn't given me a definitive answer, but I believe he knows something. He then asked me about the Ring.

I want to keep it. It is so perfect, so delicate, such a feat of craftsmanship – how could I not want to keep it? I have not parted from it these past sixty years, and I do not know why I should now. I am bequeathing Frodo my lands, my home and all its furniture – he will not miss one little gold ring. He has plenty of jewellery from his mother; this ring appears so insignificant next to those pieces. And yet I do not want to be parted from it.

When it grew chilly we came inside. I went to see Frodo, who was reading in bed. I went in and sat at the end of his bed. The look he gave me was filled with apprehension, and I could see there was sadness there too.

'This is it, Uncle Bilbo,' he said softly. 'Our last night together.'

'Yes, my lad,' I nodded in agreement.

There was silence for a while, and I began stroking his hair gently. He closed his eyes and sank back into the pillows.

'Frodo, I don't know if you ever regret your choice in coming to live here-'

His eyes opened at that.

'Never,' he whispered.

I smiled. 'I do hope you've been happy here, my dear boy. And I will miss you, when I'm gone. But it's not forever, lad; you could visit me, one day, once things are settled down here.'

He smiled.

'I'd like that, Uncle Bilbo.'

'Me too, my boy. Me too.'

He closed the book and I put it on his bedside table. I carefully tucked his quilts in closely around him, like I used to when he was young; like I saw Primula do many times. Then I sat back down on the edge of the bed and we sat like that for a while more, and I gently clasped his hand.

'You come of age tomorrow, lad. I can't believe it, really,' I sighed.

He smiled.

'Neither can I, uncle!'

There was a pause for a moment, and then he looked at me with his huge blue eyes.

'Uncle, I know I'm not a child any more, but… will you sing to me? The song you used to, before?'

'Of course, Frodo. Anything, my dear, dear Frodo.'

He closed his eyes again, and I began to sing.

"Sing we now softly, and dreams let us weave him!

Wind him in his slumber and there let us leave him!

The wanderer sleepeth. Now soft be his pillow!

Lullaby! Lullaby! Alder and Willow!

Sigh no more Pine, till the wind of the morn!

Fall moon! Dark be the land!

Hush! Hush! Oak, Ash, and Thorn!

Hushed be all water, till dawn is at hand!"*

I used to sing him to sleep with this lullaby when he was first a child, and then later when he came to live here; it gave him comfort.

He had a smile on his face as I finished. As I pressed a kiss to his forehead, he clasped my hand again and gave a soft sigh.

'Thank you,' he breathed as he rolled over.

'My Frodo,' I whispered, and backed out of the room and gently shut the door behind me.

Highday 22nd, Late. Last Entry:

That's it. I've done it. I left the party with a bang – helped by Gandalf, of course – one might say, and they will be talking about it for years to come, I don't doubt. I said goodbye to Frodo beforehand, and he knows i will not be here once he gets back.

I have given the ring to Gandalf. He was in the smial when I got here from making my escape, and this was his advice. While at first I was reluctant, I now feel ready for anything. There is a spring in my step and I feel whole, again. I am glad its care is now given over to another. I hope Frodo will keep it as safe as I have done.

I have my bags all packed, my red book included. I shall finish my story when I reach Rivendell. There perhaps I can avail Elrond to aid me in remembering certain details - my memory has faded slightly in my dotage!

Earlier, in my speech (customary at parties, of course) what was it I said? Ah, yes: "This is the END. I am going now. I am leaving NOW. GOOD-BYE!"

As I said this last bit, I caught Frodo's eye. My dearest boy, I thought at him, and I hope he understood. And then I disappeared.

And it is the end – of an era, yes; but not of my life. I have many years left in me yet! There is so much I want to see again. Perhaps I shall let my feet wander on my way, and see whither they will lead me.

After all, the road goes ever on and on. Now it is time for me to see where my road leads, and what lies at the end of it.

Finis

*The last verse of The Elves' Lullaby that they sing to Bilbo when he arrives at Rivendell on his way home from The Lonely Mountain.

A/N: The end! :) I hope you have enjoyed it. I certainly have enjoyed writing it!

Thank you so much for reading, and especially big thanks to everyone who reviewed and added this to their fav/follows lists. I really do appreciate it! Your comments have kept me inspired and have been such a huge help, so thank you!

I really do hope you have enjoyed this story. :)