Hello again!

Back with a new one, so hope you'll all enjoy!

This is a special request, so it's written for & dedicated to Stewart14.

Thanks for sharing your awesome idea & letting me write it!

Thanks as always to the amazing regulars & kelly2727, Christine Cashman who does my amazing covers & Rookie Blue South Africa on Facebook, as well as all the awesome #RBFG on twitter!

If you're a newbie- welcome to my world!

Just Like Romeo & Juliet.

Summery: Just like the star-crossed lovers, they can't seem to get it right. With coming home comes facing your mistakes and accepting reality. With staying behind comes facing reality harsher than you were prepared for. Especially when it was there all along. How far will Andy really go to protect Sam? And why has Sam given up on Andy?

Disclaimer; None of its mine, except the typos, spelling mistakes & the joy of reading your reviews, so don't forget to leave one!

Chapter 1- Light Up The Moon.

Why was life so complicated?

A question she had asked herself a million times over the last year.

And she still wasn't any closer to finding an answer than she had been a month ago, or six or even ten months ago.

Nothing was ever easy either.

But life goes on, so she was ready to tackle it with a new outlook. One that was not really ready for life, but anyway.

"You okay?". He always did that, looked into her mind when she let herself get sidetracked.

"No". But this time her answer wasn't the usual faked "fine" that she loved to use.

"Swarek?".

Andy nodded, a sad smile touching her lips as she looked away from Nick and let herself drown in her beer.

"He's an ass".

Andy let out a light giggle at that, Nick had been saying that since the night she told him what Sam had said the day after they left for Dakota.

They had really grown close over the six months they spent together, their friendship evolving to something that was indescribable.

One shared look between them, and a thousand words were said, one smile and a hundred thank yous were uttered.

They didn't need to talk to say anything.

Nick let out a groan and let his head fall forwards, Andy looking to up see Gail turn away from looking at them.

"She still not talking to you?".

Nick shook his head. He'd been trying to talk to Gail since the day they came home- the only emotion she had shown him was the day when he came home and waited outside the locker room for her to come out.

When she did, and she saw him; he saw her eyes widen as she stepped closer, his weak 'Hey' being met with a punch in the face.

At least she aimed for his good eye, the other one wasn't up to get punched after he took a bad shot to it.

She had walked away after that, and had not said a single word to him since.

That was weeks ago, and he was no closer to being forgiven.

"She won't forgive me that easily. I walked away again, and this time I don't think I can fix it".

"It'll work out the way it should" Andy said bumping shoulders with Nick.

Since they came back, she had stopped believing in things going the way you wanted them too. They never did. They always went in the opposite direction.

She had let go of hope too, and those fairytale dreams she found herself clinging too.

But she had let go of the regrets, and a whole lot of guilt also.

"And this is how it's supposed to be?". Nick said letting his eyes waft over to Sam and Marlo who just arrived at the Penny.

"Yup".

"You are such a bad liar".

"I'm not lying Nick. Things are the way they're supposed to be, doesn't mean that they're the way I want them to be".

When they came back she was certain that Sam would be waiting for her. After everything he had said, and what he had done the day she left, she had really thought that he would be.

But- He wasn't.

He had a new girlfriend that no-one seemed to know about, and things between them were on intensity levels that she couldn't even compare to levels that had been there between them.

But he looked happy.

Happier than he had when they were a little more.

Traci had denied any knowledge of Sam moving on, and Gail wasn't talking to her, so she didn't ask her anything about it. The guys were definitely not asked about it either.

"Doesn't mean I have to like things the way they are". Nick said glancing back in Gail's direction.

And it wasn't only intended for his situation.

Nick was grateful that Swarek got them out, he played a major role in getting Andy back when he couldn't himself. If Swarek hadn't made it in time, she wouldn't be sitting here with him now.

If Swarek had given up on her, or even him, really bad things would have happened.

Things that made it unbearable to live with.

But Swarek was still an idiot.

The same kind of idiot he was; the kind of idiot that let the best thing in his life go.

Swarek was a good guy, a good cop; but he wasn't boyfriend material. He wasn't the kind of guy that you find settling down, or the kind of guy that walked away from what he wanted; so Nick figured that he just didn't know what he wanted.

Andy was something worth having, even just as a friend. And if Swarek didn't want that, then there would be someone that would someday.

Someone worth it, someone worth having her heart.

He really didn't think that Swarek deserved it, but he was bias. He knew that Andy had contributed to their breakup, and that ultimately she had screwed up when she walked away after what Swarek said, but she had become his new best friend. He would always take her side, and back her up, no matter who it went against.

But back then, when she had walked away, she had needed too.

She needed time and space to get her head screwed on straight, and to find herself and decide what she wanted.

Unfortunately she decided that she wanted something that she couldn't have anymore when she came home.

Andy avoided looking in Sam and Marlo's direction by turning her chair a little more towards Nick so that she wouldn't have to face them.

Seeing them at work was one thing, seeing them when they weren't at work- that was just like having open heart surgery and having your heart left out of your chest when they stitched you back up.

Working with Sam was hard too. She hadn't been unable to avoid crossing paths with him so she had finally just accepted that this was how things were meant to be, over the course of the few shifts she had been back at work.

On her first shift back they nearly died, they got shot at and he found the moment incredibly amusing.

After that, things were less weird. But they were still awkward and tense.

It wasn't easy to keep everything objective, but she was able to fake it enough to make it look convincing.

"Want to leave?". Nick mumbled when her beer was just under the half way mark.

"Are you kidding? We haven't had any shots yet" Andy managed to say that convincingly.

She was done running, and done hiding; now she was accepting, healing and getting over it.

"You sure?". Nick asked wearing that face, the one that told her he didn't believe her.

"No, but I've got to start somewhere right".

That made Nick smile, she was always so positive, so optimistic, even when it was killing her inside.

Sam ordered their drinks at the bar, trying not to find Collins and Andy's table in the corner fascinating.

He had only seen Andy outside of work three times, all three times here at the Penny. With Collins.

He really wasn't looking for her, he just couldn't help but notice when she was around.

He hadn't quite forgiven her for walking away, and didn't think he ever would. He just didn't hold it against her.

But he had expected more.

Way more that what he got, more than what she had given him, when she left.

When he had been expecting something, he got nothing.

So he gave up.

Gave up on the thought that he could fix it, that they would fix it. He gave up on feeling anything other than disappointment and hurt.

He let go of the 'what if's' and the 'maybes' and instead held on to the 'not going to happens' and 'never going to be's'.

After a while anyway.

In the beginning, it hadn't been that easy.

He had stood in his shoes, that day; watching his worst fear unfold before his eyes and the only two thoughts he had were- I never said it back. And please let it be me, not her.

His biggest fear had been losing her, that was why he walked away after watching Jerry die.

But even ripping his own heart out didn't stop that from happening, she got into a situation where it was suddenly a reality he didn't think he could live with.

So, he said what he did; hoping that it would somehow change things, or save his soul from burning in hell. Because he had every intention of making her leave that building with him still holding onto the grenade. But ETF was on time for a change.

That was then, when he still held on to the ideals of happy ever afters existing, when they really didn't- before she left.

This was now.

Now he had Marlo, and things were good.

He had made detective after choosing to make changes in his life.

But life always had other ideas.

Having his case cross paths with her first UC was proof of that.

The same day he actually asked Marlo out.

Like the universe didn't approve.

He had made an arrest that just let a web of events spiral out of control, but it wasn't something he viewed as a coincidence. He didn't believe in coincidences.

If he hadn't made that arrest, she wouldn't be here with Collins now and he doubted that Collins would still be sane.

At least, in an indirect way, he gave her another chance at life. If he hadn't found her, fought so hard to get that moron from Guns and Gangs to understand that she wouldn't go off the wire ever, she would have been dead, or worse.

Marlo was looking at him when he forced the torrid thoughts out of his mind, a look on her face that told him she had said something, and he wasn't paying attention.

"Okay". He said, flashing the dimples.

Okay was a always a good answer for anything.

"Okay, see you later then". She gave him a soft peck on the lips and slid off her chair before walking out the door.

Her drink was finished and he hadn't even noticed that; his was barely even touched.

How did he manage to lose minutes of his life like that?

Oh right, he let his mind do what it shouldn't be doing.

Sam took a quick look in Andy's direction before ordering another whiskey and staying firmly sitting on his chair at the bar, after swallowing the first one in one, long sip.

Seeing her so carefree and unbidden was a blessing, because it was the real her- he could just tell. The way her laugh floated out as she tilted her head back just a little. The way her eyes danced with sheer pleasure, and her smile... Her smile was so big right now, it would light up the moon.

It made him feel the tiniest pang of jealousy, purely because it was the first time he had seen anyone other than himself put her in the happy place she was lost in right now.

It was hard to watch, hard to understand, but it was easy to enjoy seeing her lose herself in the moment.

Oliver slid onto the chair beside him, a cautious look on his face as he looked between his best friend and his former rookie.

"That bad huh?". At least Oliver was subtle starting the conversation.

But Sam kept staring into his glass once he knew that he was caught watching her.

"Brother, it's... That's a no go zone". Oliver said looking back at McNally as she whispered something in Collins' ear.

Sam felt his eyebrow raise of it's own accord, even though he was begging his face to remain stoic, it wasn't.

Sam knew that Oliver meant well, that he was looking out for him, but he was also well aware that he didn't know her like he did, he didn't understand.

"I know...". Not a great choice of words, because Oliver knew that Sam really didn't.

"I get it, she's everything you've ever wanted, but she's trouble".

Sam tried to hide his smirk behind his tongue as it ran over the inside of his teeth.

If there was one thing that he didn't need to know, it was how much trouble Andy really was.

It wasn't that Oliver saw her as trouble, just circumstances that Sam was in and those lingering looks he knew he was shooting her way were trouble.

"You're making bad decisions Sammy" Oliver said after studying Sam for a moment as he stared at Andy from across the room.

"Nope, that stopped the day she walked away" Sam managed as he averted his eyes and looked at Oliver.

Memories Sam didn't want to relive sprang to mind, his hand clutching his glass tightly as he took a really big sip.

He was remembering how she would gently tug the magazine out from under his nose when he was helping her do her crossword puzzles. How she would always watch him when he was in the same room as she was.

Those early mornings where she would snuggle closer and sigh in contentment in her sleep.

Forcing the images out of his mind, Sam turned to find Oliver smiling at him.

"It's been a while". Oliver stated.

"But it's a good look on you".

"What?".

Oliver had been trying to be there as a friend for Sam when Andy left, but Sam was too stubborn to let him be.

He had been there when Oliver was going through his divorce, but the favor wasn't accepted as graciously as it was given.

Sam spent more time taking early morning runs than he had before, or doing it after shift- just to avoid Oliver and those conversations when she left.

"Seeing her happy makes you happy, but not happy enough". Oliver answered his question with less suitability than he had been anticipating.

"That's over Ollie, she's too complicated and I'm too...".

He was not about to admit the rest of that sentence.

Oliver seemed to understand, and left it alone after that. Sam was struggling, even he could see that.

Sam had been battling to stay away from her since day one, and when they finally got it together Oliver saw him struggling more than ever to keep it together because for the first time he saw Sam really lost in another human being.

When Sam broke up with McNally he was just... lost, and it took a while for him to find himself, but he did. He just wasn't the same though.

The day that they found out that McNally and Collins were missing and off the wire, Oliver saw too many things on Sam's face not to know what really happened when he broke up with her. It wasn't easily hidden, raw emotion like Sam was feeling.

Sam never told him what really happened, how they broke up, all he had said was; 'It's over'.

But that day, seeing Sam's reaction- it told Oliver that Sam ended it out of fear.

Oliver also saw the panic and fear in his eyes when he first heard that McNally was missing.

No matter how hard he had tried, he couldn't hide it.

In honesty Oliver had expected Sam to go after McNally when she took the UC, but when he didn't Oliver knew that Sam was really letting her go and stepping back so that she could make a clean break.

And now that she was back, he wondered how long it would take for Sam to see his mistakes.

The mistake he made to let McNally go, the mistake he made to start dating someone else just as McNally came home. The mistake of letting it stay like it was, because it was easier.

"I hear Luke has a lead on Jake". Andy suddenly blurted.

Jake Glass.

Murderer, drug smuggler/dealer/ scumbag.

He was the only one still missing from their UC, everyone else had been arrested and charged, but he managed to get away.

He was the one that had her tied up when backup arrived, and he somehow just managed to walk out the door and disappear.

And she had no idea how he managed that when the entire complex had been crawling with cops.

"Yeah?".

"Luke will find him Nick".

Nick had voiced his concerns about Andy staying at her condo alone when he found out that Jake was on the run. He was scared that he would find her and that she would get hurt.

The guy was ruthless, he had no morals and no decency. Nick didn't even think that he had a conscience or a soul.

"You're right, he's probably long gone anyway".

Andy looked up to find Oliver watching her, something he didn't normally do.

But he smiled and held up his beer, so she did the same.

"Ready to go?". Nick mumbled after another round.

Andy nodded, the day had been grueling and she was tired, so sleep would only do her good.

Sam had left a while ago, followed shortly after that by a sad looking Oliver.

Gail had disappeared ages ago, although Steve her brother was still at the bar.

They had invited Traci to join then, but she declined. She wanted a night at home with Leo.

The Penny was fairly empty tonight, something Andy enjoyed.

The quiet.

She hadn't had much quiet time since she had been back.

She spent time with her dad, and Traci and Leo. Time at the shrink's office and a lot of time sleeping. She waisted time too, thinking about what she could have done differently.

That's how she ended up letting go. She overthought things, and didn't like what she saw.

Andy nodded as Nick stood up.

She was ready to go home.

Ready for a good nights sleep, to get up tomorrow morning and do it all over again.

Fake that she was okay, pretend that everything was fine, and wear a smile that hid a million tears.

**** Thanks for reading. Let me know if you want more!

Update on Lie to me soon too, so see you all over there!

Have an awesome day!

Jelly Bean Jenna©