Kushina sat down on the couch next her husband sighing noisily with relief. Hideki had been fussy and hard to get to sleep but finally that stubborn baby had given in to blessed repose. After sliding an arm around his waist, she snuggled into her husband while laying her head over his heart to enjoy the peaceful sound of its rhythmic beating. She sighed again in contentment as his fingers slid through her fiery red locks. Now that all of their brood was asleep for at least a few hours, they were due for a little Mommy and Daddy time. Raising her head, she momentarily held the gaze of Minato's beautiful blue eyes before pressing her lips to his.

"I love you," she whispered, tracing his lips with his forefinger. "My family means everything to me. You...the children...even your dad," she laughed lightly before giving him another affectionate peck. "My family gives my life meaning."

"Speaking of that," Minato said, pulling his wife into his arms and kissing her forehead. "Have you heard the rumors about the Uchiha family?"

"The ones about how some people believe they were the ones responsible for releasing the Nine Tails? Oh, and don't forget about the one where they plan to depose me and take over the village," she added with a snarl. If she could, she would personally punish every gossip monger with her very own hands. "It just makes me so damn angry. They're my best friends and one of the most upstanding families of the village. I hate small minds and big mouths."

"Yeah. There seems to be a distinct air of mistrust and apprehension among the people of this village. It's like we're all at war with each other," he sighed, hugging his wife tightly when he felt her body tense against his.

Kushina forced her body to relax while allowing her mind to stew over the problem of the apparent discord and tension that had overtaken her people. She longed to have a unified, peaceful village again; to be one big happy family once more. Family.

"That's it!" she gasped, jerking out of her husband's strong embrace to sit up.

"What is going in that pretty little head of yours?" Minato inquired, poking her in the temple with his forefinger. He smiled as he practically watched the gears turning in her head.

"Family. Why don't we have a family celebration?" she asked, turning to look at her husband who was giving her an endearing grin. When he reached to pull her into his arms, she inadvertently prevented him from doing so when she began waving her arms in her excitement. "You know, a festival, a picnic, games, and activities...all that wonderful stuff! We can reunite the families while having a little fun!"

"It sounds like a fantastic idea. I'll talk to Dad tomorrow and we will help you start planning. But right now," he murmured, pulling her toward him for a kiss.

Kushina slid her fingers into his silky blond hair, tugging gently as he increased the pressure of his lips on hers. She moaned while parting her lips slightly to allow his tongue inside to explore her mouth. Her hands slid down his chest and under his shirt to glide over the hard ridged muscles of his abdomen. When his hand squeezed her ample breast, the stimulation caused her to pull away from him.

"What?" he questioned her, totally bumfuzzled as to why she pulled away and stood up.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to check on the children," she explained, giving him a kiss on the lips while pressing her hand against the hard bulge that had formed in his pants. "Hold that thought. I just want to make sure we won't be interrupted."

Kushina cautiously tiptoed down the hall, peeking into the twin's room first. Smiling to herself, she listened to the blissful sounds of silence and deep breathing from the sleeping babies. After closing the door carefully, she proceeded to Naruto's room. She opened the door a crack, allowing her eyes to adjust to the dim light. The unexpected sight of the empty bed made a sick feeling form in the pit of her stomach. Flinging open the door, she rushed into the room to the open window. She surveyed the situation and was thankful to see that there were no signs of a struggle indicating he had been taken against his will. Instead, it appeared he had left of his own volition, but why?

"Minato," she called, attempting to keep the panic out of her voice. Running down the hall, she almost collided with her husband because tears had blurred her vision. She did not panic often but when it came to her children, it was more difficult for her to keep a cool head and contain her emotions.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he queried, wiping away the tears that rolled down her pale cheeks.

"Naruto's gone," she sniffed, refusing to sob in earnest so she would not wake the twins.

"Gone? What do you mean go-" He was cut off by his wife who was swiftly losing the tremulous hold she had on her emotions.

"GONE, Minato!" she exclaimed, quickly clamping her mouth shut. Speaking at a much lower volume, she said, "It looks like he ran away. He climbed out of the window and took off."

"I'll go get Dad. You stay here with the twins," he ordered gently, practically disappearing into thin air he moved so fast. Living up to his nickname, he was gone in a yellow flash of light.

...

"Dad! Dad! DDDDAAAAADDDDD!"

"Oh, Kami, seriously," Jiraiya muttered, rolling over and nearly falling out of the bed. He had been having a fabulously triple x rated dream about his lady love, Kikyo. He was long over due for a visit from her.

"DAD!" Minato bellowed, bursting into his father's room.

"Dammit, Son! What the hell is wrong with you? Did you have a nightmare or something? Couldn't your wife just beat the hell out of the boogeyman and you could go back to sleep?" his father grumpily demanded, throwing a pillow at his son.

"Get up!" he shouted, catching the pillow and throwing it back at his father. If he had not been so worried, he would have laughed when his father sat bolt upright in the bed glancing around as if he had been attacked by an unknown enemy. "Naruto's gone. He snuck out and ran away."

"Is that all?" Jiraiya groused, forcing himself out of the bed. He already had a really good idea of where the boy could be.

"Is that all? My son is missing." He glared at his father who seemed totally unfazed and almost uncaring that Naruto had taken off for no reason at all.

"Stop and think for a minute," his father growled, pulling on his pants. He figured he might as well get dressed and go retrieve his grandson so he could get some sleep. "Kushina's had her hands full with the twins. Mitsukuma's been busy taking care of Konohamaru. That Itachi Uchiha has also become a major problem, I mean distraction for Mitsu-chan, taking up her time as well," he grumbled, his annoyance growing with recalling that fact. "I just named his two favorite females in the world. Since Naruto is not with his mother, where do you think he might be?"

"Mitsu-chan's?" Minato mumbled questioningly after taking a moment to put the pieces together in his mind.

"Holy hell, Blondie," he muttered, rolling his eyes over his son's blatant show of, well, blondeness. "Of course, he's at Mitsukuma's. Let's go."

...

Naruto had wedged himself between the arms of the sleeping Mitsukuma who was lying on her side. His arms held her securely while he pressed his ear against her newly developing breast to hear her heart. His other hand moved to rest on the twin peak on the other side of her chest. He liked the way they felt: they were soft except for the hard little nub in the middle. His fingers stroked across the stiff protuberance, and he immediately experienced a strange stirring between his thighs when she moaned lightly. His tummy felt as if it were filled with a million butterflies, and he felt really hot despite the cool night air blowing in through her window that he had left open after climbing inside her room. Drowsiness overtook him and his eyes drifted closed as he scraped his cheek across his wonderful new pillow that was growing on her chest. Finding his happy place which was definitely being with his beloved Honeybear, he drifted off to sleep.

...

Daijiro stumbled to the door contemplating who in the hell could be beating on his door in the middle of the night. Plotting their terrible end for disturbing his sleep which was hard to come by as of late, he opened to the door to see a panic-stricken Minato and his father who looked as grumpy as he felt. In an instant he was wide awake and on high alert. What could possibly be wrong for the two of them to be at his door a little before midnight?

"What's wrong? Is it an attack?" he asked, stepping aside to allow them to enter his home.

"No. Nothing like that. Naruto ran away and we think he's here," Minato explained as succinctly as possible.

"Here? Why here?" he yawned, walking toward the staircase to go to his daughter's room. "How would that little fellow climb to the second story?"

"You'd be surprised what my son already knows how to do," Minato rejoined, glaring at his father who refused to make eye contact.

All three men walked toward Mitsukuma's room. Daijiro was confused and apprehensive. Minato was anxious and ready to find his son. Jiraiya had all kinds of fabulously perverse thoughts running through his head. Daijiro opened the door to his daughter's room peering in experimentally. His hand fell from the doorknob causing the door to slowly swing open to reveal the two kids locked in each others embrace in the bed. Thankfully, the young pervert in training had removed his hand from her breast and his arms were fastened around her waist. His head was still using her other breast as a pillow, but none of the men thought anything about that.

Minato soundlessly moved toward the bed, attempting to unhinge his son from the girl in his arms. The strength held in the boy's scrawny little arms never ceased to amaze him. Grumbling under his breath, he tried peeling Naruto's fingers from her back but he only grasped more firmly which made Mitsukuma writhe and whimper with discomfort from his overly strong grip.

"Just leave him," Daijiro suggested, not wanting the child to squeeze his daughter in half. "She will bring him home in the morning."

"Fine by us," Jiraiya replied, grabbing his son by the collar. Oh, boy! Naruto was getting to sleep, albeit literally, with his first girl. Lucky little tadpole. "Come on, Son. Let's go home!"

"Wait...are you sure that's okay with you?" Minato asked feeling quite antsy about the situation.

"They're only children. What can happen?" the other man returned with a shrug of his shoulders.

Minato gave his father a sidelong glance before sighing with resignation. Hopefully, nothing will happen. He bid Daijiro good night, thanking the man for his hospitality and understanding. An uncomfortable silence ensued between him and his father as they walked in the darkness. At last, he decided to broach the topic of the recently discussed family festival.

"Kushina-chan had a wonderful idea earlier this evening. She wants to organize a family festival to bring the village back together," he announced, staring at the road ahead of him.

"Like a big party?" Jiraiya inquired, idly kicking a rock.

"Yeah. Exactly like a big party," he chuckled, rolling his eyes at his father.

Jiraiya immediately began spouting off a wealth of ideas that would keep them busy for a good six weeks to get everything planned and instituted. It was going to be great!

~^..^~

Today was the day of the much anticipated and first annual Konoha Family Festival. Red streamers waved in the air while green and gold banners emblazoned with the leaf symbol flew proudly from poles and storefronts. One of the training fields, a large open grassy area, had been designated as the picnic area. Food vendors were already setting up to cook to serve many hungry villagers. Store owners had set up games and puppet shows in addition to areas filled with toys like wind up dolls and trains to entertain the children. Everyone had been given a persuasive speech about unity and an even more compelling cash incentive to offer their wares for free to their fellow villagers.

Mitsukuma was sitting on a blanket with Naruto and Sasuke taking a much needed break. She had been dragged around for hours from game to game, booth to booth by the two lively boys who sat playing with the silver pinwheels they had just received. Propping herself up on her elbows, she searched the other people who had settled down into little groups in the picnic area. She was looking for the other Uchiha, the one who made her insides turn somersaults. Her tummy grumbled loudly causing the two little boys to laugh.

"Mitsu! You really are a bear! I heard you growl," Sasuke teased, his normally big round eyes compressed into tiny slits from laughter.

"Oh, shutup," she grumbled, poking him in the ribs to make him screech from being tickled.

"Honeybear, who ya looking for?" Naruto asked, grabbing her cheeks to force her to look at him.

"No one," she lied. Here lately, she had taken note of how Naruto's face would redden and his eyes would narrow into angry little slashes whenever Itachi came around or if she even mentioned his name. The green-eyed monster had taken hold of her sweet boy with the big blue eyes and she did not like it one bit. She grunted when his small but powerful hands pressed a bit too forcefully, making her cheeks hurt. "Naruto, please stop."

"Sorry," he apologized, removing his hands and kissing her cheek.

Mitsukuma ruffled his blond spikes when he plopped down next to her with dark pink spots gracing his tanned and whisker marked cheeks. Her fingers shook a bit as she traced the lines on one of his delicately blushed cheeks.

"Oh, Naruto, I love you," she murmured, kissing his cheek.

"Naruto's got a girlfriend! Naruto's got a girlfriend!" Sasuke began to chant in the most irritating manner possible.

"Shut up, Sasuke! It's not like that!" he yelled, lunging at his best friend and pushing him down on his back.

Mitsukuma was just about to chastise the boys as their wrestling match began when Hinata appeared. For a moment, she silently watched the fiercely shy child who stood in a self-conscious silence, tapping the tips of her forefingers together nervously. When she realized that Hinata was not going to say anything, she offered a polite greeting which was met with an audible sigh of relief and stuttered 'hi' in return.

"It's good to see you, Hinata," she said with sincerity, being distracted by the ruffians engaged in a ferocious battle. "Boys! Stop that! There's someone I would like for you to meet."

The Blonde and the Raven sat up instantly upon seeing the dark-haired, lavender eyed little girl in their midst. They gave a simultaneous salutation of 'hi' like a chorus of little birds - dodos most likely.

"H-hi, N-Naruto and S-Sasuke," the girl stuttered helplessly.

"Hey, what's wrong with your mouth? You don't talk right," Naruto pointed out, making a dark red blush creep up Hinata's ivory colored neck. He leaned forward almost coming nose to nose with her. "Are you stupid or somethin'?"

"NARUTO!" Mitsukuma hollered, watching in horror as Hinata ran away crying. She snatched the blonde to her by grabbing the top of his ear and twisting. Giving him a stinging swat on the bottom, she turned him to face her. "I want you to go apologize to her!"

"Damn, Honeybear, what the hell was that for?" he spat out, squealing when she popped him on the behind again. Rubbing his sore butt cheeks, he glared at her hatefully.

"You've been spending far too much time with Jiji," she remarked, checking the buttons on her shirt to make sure they were all secure. As of late, Naruto had developed a serious case of roaming hands which she chalked up to simple curiosity at first but now it was just becoming annoying - and somewhat violating. Turning him around, she pointed to Hinata who was sitting beneath a tree with her head on her knees crying. "Go apologize...now!"

Naruto risked one last glower at the enraged Mitsukuma, sticking his tongue out at her when he was sure he was out of her reach. He turned to run toward the sobbing girl. Might as well get this over with. I don't like you right now, Honeybear, he thought to himself. Heaving a noisy sigh, he hoped to catch Hinata's attention. When that did not work, he cleared his throat with much zeal but that failed as well.

"H-Hinata?" he called, pondering the possibility her speech impediment might be catching.

"Wh-what?" she stammered, looking up at him as she wiped the tears away with the back of her hand.

"I'm sorry," he gushed, feeling his cheeks get hot because this was so incredibly embarrassing.

"It's okay. Would you like to sit with me? Look at the toy I just got," she said, pulling the small metal wind up frog from her pocket.

Naruto watched with fascination as she wound the shiny silver key on the back of the lime green colored frog. He knelt down beside her as the clicking and grinding of the gears began. Leaning forward, he impatiently waited for something to happen. The frog unexpectedly jumped, hitting him in the nose.

"Ow!" he howled in pain, holding his aching nose.

Hinata laughed until the tears she shed were from sheer joy.

()(..)()

This was a horrible mistake, Tsunade thought to herself as she sat under a tree close by where Minato and Kushina were sitting on a blanket. She had purposely separated herself from their small group because she had the distinct feeling that she was an unwanted outsider. It had been obvious when Jiraiya arrived at the jail that he was not a happy camper. The little blonde apparently had convinced the man to come see her. A smile curled her lips when she remembered how sweet Naruto had been.

"Please, Jiji, please let her out," Naruto begged, turning his big blue eyes on his grandfather.

Jiraiya sighed in defeat when the child unleashed the puppy dog jutsu. He had never been able to withstand that from his father so he certainly could not stay strong when facing the pleading puppy dog eyes of his grandson.

"Kakashi, let her out. I'll allow her a twelve-hour respite for the picnic," he spoke out loud. Moving close to the bars where only Tsunade could hear him, he threatened, "You try to make an escape, and I'll kill you."

Tsunade nodded. From the murderous glint in his dark eyes, she had no doubt he would follow through on that threat if she dared to even think about running. With remorse filling her to the very depths of her soul she realized she would have been better off taking her chances with her creditors rather than coming back here. Too late now.

Tsunade closed her eyes, releasing a noisy sigh of exasperation.

"Baachan!" an overexuberant voice called just before a heavy weight landed itself in her lap.

Tsunade grunted with exceeding discomfort from the surprising assault, opening her eyes to see Naruto had made himself at home in her lap. She could not help but smile when he nestled his fuzzy head between her overflowing breasts and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you for coming, Baachan! I'm so glad you're here," he said, thoroughly enjoying himself as he nuzzled into her cleavage.

"You're the only one, kiddo," she mumbled, scooping him out of where he had burrowed himself between her boobs. She set him on his feet and shooed him on his way to go play with his friends.

Tsunade rolled her eyes and groaned; there was no doubt in her mind whose grandchild he was. Someone else swiftly garnered her attention when Jiraiya stepped into view with a redheaded woman clinging to his side like a burr. Interesting. He has a girlfriend, she thought to herself, feeling a bit nauseated as an unwelcome emotion blossomed in her gut - jealousy. She reluctantly stood to her feet as the pair made their way toward her. The pleasant expression on the redhead's face turned into a mask of fury.

"What is she doing here?" Kikyo hissed, her long red fingernails digging into Jiraiya's arm.

"She is here because Naruto wanted her here," he explained, removing his arm from her talons before they drew blood.

"Is he really the only one who wanted her here?" the irate woman demanded, putting her hands on her shapely hips.

Tsunade made a frightening discovery as she studied the woman. Except for the crimson red hair and sapphire blue eyes, the woman closely resembled her - almost to a creepy degree. Swallowing with great difficulty, she wondered if anyone else, even the woman's niece Kushina, had made that connection.

"Pleased to meet you," Tsunade said, holding out her hand to the woman. She had interrupted the couple whose conversation was rushing headlong into an argument. Instead of dispelling the tension, her effort had only ramped it up.

"Wish I could say the same. Don't think badly of me if I don't shake your hand," Kikyo veritably snarled, glaring at her hand with disgust.

"That's enough," Jiraiya warned the woman, getting agitated from her immature show of resentment.

"What? Are you getting upset with me? After all this woman has done to you? And your son?" she added, noticing his face turning pink with agitation. She bit her lower lip feeling a bit antsy she might have pushed it too far with that comment.

"I think you should leave," he stated in a low voice with a menacing edge.

"Me? What have I done? This is a family festival, and she is not family by her own choice!" Kikyo yelled in anger.

"Keep your voice down," the livid man returned, grabbing her by the arm. "I think you should leave, go to your hotel room, and grow up a bit."

Tsunade stood with her mouth hanging open as she watched the other woman away. Catching herself, she turned away as not to humiliate the woman further as she endured the walk of shame after throwing an immature tantrum.

"So that's your girlfriend?" she ventured, glimpsing at Jiraiya out of the corner of her eye.

"I'm not sure if she will be any longer." He exhaled loudly before adding, "I suppose I should have warned her that you would be here."

"Jiraiya, you idiot!" Tsunade exclaimed, slapping him across the back of the head.

"Hey!" he yelled after receiving the unexpected hit.

"Of course you should have warned her, you moron! You should go apologize to her and patch things up, right now," she admonished him, shoving him in the direction the woman had retreated.

Jiraiya looked at Tsunade, mulling over what kind of game she could possibly be playing with his mind. Seeing the sincere, honest expression on her face, for a moment he could remember the woman he had been in love with for so long. Visibly shaking himself, he pushed aside the unwanted thoughts, reminding himself what this woman had done.

"Maybe later. I'll give her time to cool off." And myself time to think, he said in his mind as he walked away. Why in the world would Tsunade want him to make up with his girlfriend? There was no end to the confusion caused by women.

Jiraiya was not sure how long he had been walking when he came upon Naruto crouched behind a big boulder near the treeline around the expansive picnic area. Curious at to what the boy was watching, he decided to get a closer look himself. Sneaking up behind the child without making a sound, he knelt down behind him clamping his hand over the boy's mouth to keep him from screaming in terror.

"What are you watching, Naru-chan?" he asked, receiving a painful kick to the ribs before the child recognized his voice. He carefully set his grandson down on his feet after he stopped flailing about in a panic.

"Honeybear is with Itachi," he growled, assuming his crouching position behind the boulder to continue eavesdropping.

"Hmmm, is that so?" Jiraiya muttered, scratching his chin as he moved to watch too. He was not pleased at all to see Mitsu opening flirting with the eldest Uchiha while they shared dango. It took everything he could do not to jump on the boy when he reached up to remove a crumb from the girl's mouth before putting it into his own. Unbelievable. The rustling grass at his feet and the high-pitched squeaks momentarily distracted him from the goo-goo eyed couple hiding behind the tree. Reaching down into the grass, he seized the small brown field mouse by the tail and pulled it up to look at it. This little critter was about to be very useful. "Naruto?"

"What, Jiji?" the boy asked, the squeaking mouse catching his attention. "What's that for?"

"I have a little training maneuver for you. You want to be a highly skilled ninja right?"

"Yes, of course."

"One of the major tenants of being a ninja is stealth. I want you to take this little fellow here and sneak up on Mr. Awesome over there. If you can slip him inside the Uchiha prodigy's pocket and get away, then you'll be Mr. Awesome," he said, shamelessly baiting the child to pull a terrible prank.

"Okay!" Naruto enthusiastically returned in a loud whisper. Taking the mouse by the tail to keep him from running away, he took a deep breath before setting about accomplishing the task given to him.

Jiraiya was not worried about Naruto getting caught. The two lovebirds were so caught up in each other they weren't aware of anything else. The boy could have just ran straight forward rather than employing a somewhat clumsy stealth technique of creeping up to the tree before making his way around the edge of it ever so slowly. The man was about ready to scream from sheer frustration when Naruto swiftly reached around to put the mouse in the pocket of Itachi's black pants.

Mitsukuma glanced down at the ground, a light blush tinting her cheeks from the compliment Itachi had just given her on her hair that was twisted into a thick braid that reached between her shoulder blades. She had styled it that way all by herself. Her eyes began an upward trek from his black boots up his legs when they stopped at his middle below his waist. Did something move there? Feeling her face grow warmer as her blush deepened to a cherry red, she stared without meaning to as something definitely moved in his pants.

"What the hell..." Itachi muttered, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a tiny brown mouse that sat on his palm.

"Oh, it's a mouse," Mitsukuma uttered with relief, receiving a questioningly look from Itachi.

"What did you think it was?" he asked, his lips tilting with a slightly lecherous grin.

"I, uh, well, um..." She struggled to find the words until the mouse hopped from Itachi's palm and landed in the front of her shirt. "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Get it out! Get it out!" she shrieked when the fuzzy rodent began to run laps over her budding breasts. She screamed again when Itachi shoved his hand down the front of her shirt to retrieve it.

"I've almost got it!" he shouted, missing and grabbing her breast instead. "Ow!" he hollered when she slapped him and began hopping up and down while he continued to grope for the small animal loose in her shirt. "Be still Mitsu so I can grab him!"

"Itachi! Stop it! Get you hand out of there!" she screamed, hitting him with her fists.

"Mitsu!" He was still struggling to catch the terrified creature.

"Itachi!" She was still slapping him every chance she got.

It was just too funny. Jiraiya couldn't stand it anymore. He fell back on his butt as he released the howling laughter, laying down in the tall grass to roll around while laughing hysterically. Lucky for him, the ensuing chaos and Mitsukuma's screams were covering the sound of his raucous guffaws. Naruto watched the unfolding scene of what could be construed as a sexual assault happening before his very eyes. He was horrified at what was happening.

"Got it!" Itachi shouted triumphantly, pulling the mouse from her shirt. The traumatized critter simply hung limply, panting for air just like the two people who had also been involved in the life or death struggle.

Mitsukuma watched as Itachi sat him down in the grass, and he scampered away. She flung herself into Itachi's arms, burying her face into the folds of his soft black t-shirt when the tears slid from her eyes.

"It's okay. It was just a mouse," he murmured, patting her back comfortingly. He wanted to laugh as well but was afraid she would slap him again.

"It's not just the damn mouse," she wailed, leaning back to look at his face that bore red handprints because she had slapped him so soundly. Pressing her hand against his cheek, she whispered, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay...really," he assured her, pushing back the strands of her hair that had become loosened during the struggle. With one arm holding her securely around the waist, he used the other hand to tip her chin up to look at her face. Before the apprehension building within him became too much to bear, he leaned down to press his lips to hers.

Mitsukuma found it difficult to breathe when his soft lips touched hers. Just as quickly as it began, her first kiss was over. Despite it's brevity, the earth had moved, bells had rung, and she felt like she was floating.

DAMMIT!, Jiraiya's inward voice screamed in fury. That was not supposed to happen. She was supposed to run away screaming in terror, not get her first kiss - certainly not from Itachi. Glancing at Naruto, he watched as the boy's whole body seemed to droop along with the corner's of his mouth. He knew without a shadow of a doubt, his grandson was experiencing his first heart-break.

...

Anko was just about to set into action the extensive practical joke she had planned for her sensei Orochimaru. She realized then that she had forgotten something exceptionally important - bait to lure him into her trap. She had buried several explosive tags in a square. Her plan had been to lure Orochimaru into the middle of the square then detonate them to put a little bang into the day. What's a celebration without fireworks after all? Glancing around quickly, she searched for a possible person to serve as a decoy who would be above suspicion. If she were to do it herself, her intended target would immediately be on alert for something happening.

"Dammit," she grumbled, scratching her head in thought. "What am I supposed to do now?"

About that time, the answer presented itself in the form of a small blonde who looked as if his world had just caved in on him. The Hokage's son would be perfect! Orochimaru would never suspect him. She could get him to tell the snake Sannin that Jiraiya-sama needed to speak with him about something and would meet him right here.

"Hah! Am I good or what?" she asked herself out loud as she trotted toward Naruto. The child looked like he could use a little cheering up and the results of this prank would be bound to put a smile on his face. "Hey, Naruto, what's up?"

"Huh?" he mumbled, bleary eyed and out of sorts.

"Hey, kid, what's wrong with you?" she inquired, sincerely concerned now.

"Oh...hi, Anko. Nothing," he responded, plodding along like a zombie.

"I need your help. Want to play a practical joke on someone?" she asked, seeing a mischievous glimmer returning to his eyes. After he nodded eagerly, she said, "I need you to go find Orochimaru-sama and tell him that your Jiji wants to meet him here...right here," she clarified pointing at the ground beneath her feet. She was standing in the very middle of the square. "Can you do that?"

"Sure," he responded, the impish gleam filling his big blue eyes as he scampered off to find the requested man.

With a giggle, Anko disappeared behind the nearby tree to wait.

...

"What's this all about, Naruto?" Orochimaru inquired as the child pulled him by the hand.

"I don't know. I was just told that Jiji needs to speak to you," he answered, guiding the victim into the trap.

Meanwhile, Anko observed them from her hiding place. "Come on, Naruto, come on," Anko coached him under her breath. She released a sigh of relief when the boy pulled him forward to the exact spot she had indicated.

"What now?" Orochimaru asked, his impatience growing.

"I don't know. I'll go find Jiji," Naruto offered, exiting the invisible square surrounded by explosive tags.

"Good boy, Naruto," Anko giggled, preparing to set off the minor explosives. They would not harm Orochimaru, just fry him a little bit and assure him of a really bad hair day. Once Naruto was a safe distance away, she set them off.

POP, POP, POP! A sound like firecrackers going off caught everyone's attention. A huge ball of white smoke filled the small area at the center of the picnic grounds. An eerie quiet settled over the huge crowd as they waited for the smoke to dissipate. When it did, there stood Orochimaru covered in black gunpowder while his long hair stood out on end as if he had been zapped with a powerful electrical current. He opened his mouth to cough, issuing a billow of smoke.

"LOOK EVERYONE!" Anko yelled with her hands cupped around her mouth to make it louder. "IT'S AFROCHIMARU!"

A gale of laughter like a roaring wave built, rolling from the front of the crowd to the back. The riotous laughter continued as the stunned man who had experienced an explosive surprise stood unable to move.

"What's the meaning of this?!" Kushina demanded when she came to stand beside the man. When the throng of villagers went silent, she could hear the uncontrollably giggling coming from behind a nearby tree. Following the sound, she found a nearly incapacitated Anko who was uselessly struggling to contain her laughter. Seizing the girl by the collar she dragged her from around the tree where the crowd could see her. Kushina proceeded to whip the sixteen year old girl on the behind as if she were two years old. The punishment fit the juvenile actions. "Behave yourself so we can enjoy the rest of our day. Go on home now," she urged the demoralized teenager.

"Yes, Kushina-sama," Anko responded tearfully with a bow.

Kushina turned to Orochimaru barely able to control her laughter. Forcing her lips downward into a fierce scowl, she looked at him and said, "You look terrible. And for Kami's sake, do something with your hair."

"But I - " Orochimaru did not even bother to explain. Instead, he began plotting revenge on Anko - and Naruto. One prank deserves another.