A/N: Technically this isn't the first Homestuck fic I've written, but the others aren't done, so this is going up first, so I get to admit my existence in the fandom via a drabble. Also, these two are my new OTP and I have no apologies.

Despite a good hour's worth of alchemizing attempts, it's not quite the same candy red she buzzes about all day every day. But it's still red, and it doesn't seem to be poisonous, and it doesn't turn into a chainsaw (that bit was especially crucial), so Dave feels like he's got all the important bases covered, especially since he's not sure wriggling day presents are even a thing to begin with.

He tells her to close her eyes, and when she points out the futility he sighs and pinches her nose shut instead, which causes her to make several nasal-voiced jokes about his depravity even before she feels anything against her lips. He has to tell her twice not to lick it until he's done, so she just tries to tell him that L1PST1CK 1S W3IRD. The words come out garbled and make the red line go sloppier than it already was - it wasn't like he knew how to put on makeup to begin with - and there's probably some on her teeth now too, which just makes her look even more ridiculous. But he's not doing this to make her pretty, he's doing this-

For the unearthly (unalternianly?) gasp and enthusiastic squeal that come when he lets her go again and she realizes what he's done. For the silly (by her standards) giggle. For the WHY D1DNT 1 DO TH1S SOON3R and J3GUS TH1S 1S TOO 1NT3NS3 that follow as she licks her lips with the enthusiasm she normally reserves for his and then steals the tube from his hand all too quickly. Not to mention, for the way she spends the next hour smudging the lipstick off her skin and onto his only to clean it right back off.

Of course he'll use all those other reasons for convenient denial. But the biggest reasons he does it is for the way that her face lights up throughout the whole thing, and for the two seconds of genuine calm and sincerity that cross her voice as she whispers her thanks against his lips. Because that's how he knows he's done something truly special for her (even if matesprit is still a totally uncool word).