Always There When It Matters

I was re-watching S1 a couple weeks ago and this popped into my head. Originally just a short little fic, it tuned into a two-shot. Enjoy! And please let me know what you think with a review! They make my day. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.

Chapter 1

The moment Andy grabbed her keys and walked out of her apartment she knew where she was going. He'd offered to listen if she needed to talk. She wasn't entirely sure that's what she needed, but she needed something. She needed to stop feeling. She needed to stop the images from replaying in her mind on a loop. Sometimes the images would trick her, make her see gunshot wounds in her own chest instead of the kidnapper's. She just needed to be with someone who cared right now.

She knocked on his door, hoping he'd gone home after shift and not back to the hospital to visit Oliver or to the blackout party The Penny was having. She shifted nervously between her feet as she waited for the door to open. "Hey."

"Hey," Sam replied, a little shocked to see her standing there. Thought she'd be finding comfort in the arms of her boyfriend after the day she had.

"You alone?" she asked, looking behind him.

He nearly laughed - would have if the sadness on her face hadn't been so real - as he glanced over his shoulder at his empty apartment. "Yeah, you wanna talk?"

She remained silent, tears feeling like they were going to break through at any moment. She wondered why she came here, straight to Sam's without a second thought. She couldn't get her mouth to form words, so she simply stood there, staring at him with big sad eyes.

"C'mon in," he said, even though she hadn't answered him. He stood back to give her room to enter. She took a few hesitant steps over the threshold, stood against the wall so Sam could push the door closed. "Right through here," he said, a hand on her lower back as he guided her further into the apartment.

She let him usher her to the couch, still not saying a word. Her breath was heavy as she tried to control herself. She didn't want to break into tears in front of Sam, didn't want him thinking she was weak. She hadn't realized he'd left her side until he returned with two glasses of scotch. He placed one on the coffee table in front of her as he sat down and took a sip of his own.

He waited, watched her elbows fall to her knees, her head quickly following into her open hands. She was tired, so incredibly tired. Of pretending she was okay. Pretending she could handle all of this. Pretending she didn't need somebody to be there for her. Just pretending, about everything.

"You're not okay," Sam finally said, the sound causing Andy to jump. She looked over to him and shook her head slowly, a tear finally escaping down her cheek. "It's alright. You killed someone tonight. It's okay not to feel okay."

"I killed someone," she said softly. "Three bullets in the chest." She picked up the amber liquid in front of her, turning the glass in her hands as she stared at it.

"You saved a girl, probably countless more from being kidnapped in the future," he told her. He was proud of her today. Not only had she been persistent and trusting of her gut about the second missing girl, but she hadn't hesitated on pulling the trigger when it was necessary.

"When I close my eyes, I see all the blood. I see him lying on the floor. I hear the pop, pop, pop of the gun, feel it recoiling in my hands." She took a swig of the scotch, enjoying the burn as it went down her throat. "I keep thinking there had to be another way. I could've done something else to stop him."

"If you even hesitated, he would've shot you. He already shot Oliver. You did what you had to do. You did what I would've done, what Oliver would've done, what any good cop would do. Don't second guess yourself." He downed the rest of the liquid in his glass before leaning forward to place it on the table. Staying there, he cautiously placed a hand on Andy's back.

"Am I supposed to just get used to it? Killing someone?" she asked, sad eyes looking over at him.

"You should never get used to killing someone. There are times we have to do it, but it should never get easy," he said, hand rubbing small circles now, hoping it offered some comfort.

She leaned back into his touch as she continued to stare at him. He was here for her, to tell her it was okay, to tell her she did the right thing. He was here. "I was so scared. Oliver was down. The basement - I'm a cop and shouldn't let a basement scare me, but it did. I was scared searching every dark corner. And there was the girl, still tied up. Then I saw him. This guy who was at least twice my weight and taller than me. I didn't know if backup was on the way. I...I..." She couldn't stop the tears anymore. All the feelings she'd bottled up were pouring out. She put the glass she held down and covered her face with her hands, tried to stop the tears from falling.

Sam's heart ached for her. Anyone would be affected by the night she had, but this girl, with her lion's heart, it was tearing her apart. He knew he shouldn't - he was still her TO, for god's sake - but he couldn't help it. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her against his body. Her head fell to his chest, tears soaking his shirt as he held her close. One of her arms wrapped around him until her palm was pressing hard against the muscles of his back, while the other hand fisted the front of his shirt next to her face.

He rubbed her back, waiting for her sobs to subside. He wasn't really sure what to do other than hold her and wait.

She couldn't even care about being embarrassed right now at the situation. She'd always kept her emotions in check, especially around her TOs, but he made her feel so comfortable, she couldn't help herself. The emotions she'd bottled up inside all night came rushing out and she didn't try to stop them anymore.

Several minutes passed before her sobs subsided. She slowly released the grip she had on his shirt, smoothing it out as she left her head on his chest. The feel of his heartbeat was soothing as she tried to get her emotions under control.

Her own heart was racing, but not from anxiety of the day or the meltdown she'd just had. It was from his touch, especially when his fingers inadvertently brushed the bare skin of her lower back where her tank top had ridden up. She pulled away from him slightly and looked up at him. She licked her bottom lip as she gazed up at him, a thrill coursing through her when she looked into his deep brown eyes.

Without thinking, she lifted her head and crushed her lips to his, the force, pushing them against the back of the couch. His hands gripped her sides as she shifted to straddle him.

Sam couldn't get enough of her. It was like an assault on his senses - he loved the taste, the feel, the smell of her. His hand gripped the back of her head, fingers getting lost in her hair, as he kept her close. Her hands were on his chest, his neck, his face, anywhere they could touch. She wanted to lose herself in him.

Her hands found the hem of his shirt and she quickly pulled it over his head, missing the contact her lips had on his when they parted. He shared the feeling and immediately brought his lips to her mouth when the shirt had been tossed aside. Hands roaming her body, he quickly gripped her tank top and in one smooth motion had it over her head. When it was gone, she wrapped her arms around his neck and ground her hips into his. He decided they needed to take this someplace more comfortable. Hands under her ass, he held her as he stood up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

He walked them to his bedroom, thankful he could navigate with his eyes mostly closed as their lips stayed fused together. As Andy's eyes blinked open briefly when they reached his bedroom, she noticed all the candles that he'd lit to help him get around without power. Little did he know they'd create such a romantic atmosphere. It was as if the universe had a plan for them tonight, she thought.

Sam lowered them both to the bed, his lips leaving hers when her back hit the mattress only so his mouth could find her neck. The moans escaping her mouth had him keeping his lips there, sucking and biting along her neck, until she pulled his head up so her lips could meet his again. They couldn't get enough of each other, hands roaming, mouths working overtime to devour the other, hips grinding into each other. She could feel him through their jeans, wished there was a lot less clothing between them so she could really feel him. She thrust her hips up to get more friction and he could feel the warmth of her. His hand slid from her thigh to her ass and was about to circle around to the button of her jeans - wanting to get her out of them immediately - when the lights and sounds of his apartment startled them as the power came back on.

Sam silently cursed himself for playing with every power switch in the place when he returned home. He nudged her nose with his as he gave himself a moment to gather enough breath to speak. "Power's back on."

She stared at him, heart racing so hard she thought it might burst out of her chest, and sucked in a couple gulps of air. "Guess it means everything's back to normal," she breathed out.

Sam glanced over at one of the bright lights blinding them and back at Andy. "I should just turn a few things off," he said.

She nodded and closed her eyes as Sam climbed off the bed, flicking the light switch off as he left the bedroom to shut off the TV and lights in the rest of his apartment.

Andy felt her phone vibrating and pulled it out of her back pocket. She sighed at the caller ID and let it go to voicemail before placing it on the table next to the bed. She rubbed a hand across her face, wondering what she was doing. No, she knew exactly what she was doing. She was acting on the feelings she'd had for a while and although she knew she had to break up with Luke now, she was not doing it over the phone. She'd call him tomorrow morning and ask him to meet her so she could do it face to face. He deserved that much.

Once that decision was made, Andy began thinking about the man who had just ignited a fire inside her. There was so much they needed to talk about. She wasn't cut loose yet, so what they were doing could cost them their jobs. Or at least her job; he'd probably just get stuck behind a desk. But she refused to fake it anymore and pretend she didn't have feelings for him. She was going to let tonight happen and then they could figure the rest out.

Sam leaned against the doorframe, watching her stare up at the ceiling, and he could see the wheels turning in that head of hers as something occupied her thoughts. "You okay, McNally?" He'd give her an out, let her walk away right now and they could disregard everything. Blame it on her emotionally trying day.

She flipped her head around, not realizing he was standing there. She gnawed on her bottom lip nervously. "Yup, yup, totally fine.

He walked over to the bed, noticed her phone on his night table when he climbed on the bed and hovered over her as he reclaimed his previous position. He wondered if she'd gotten a call while he was gone. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "You sure?" he asked.

She nodded. "You're always there when it matters," she said quietly. And that was the crux of it. No man in her life had consistently put her first like Sam did. Her father was great; she loved him, but he'd been distracted by the bottle for most of her life. And she found quickly that Luke was already married, to his job, which meant she always came a distant second. But with Sam, they weren't even a couple and she always knew he would be there when she needed him, like tonight.

He nudged her nose with his and gave her a small smile. "We can wait, you know. You've had a big day." The last thing he wanted was for her to feel pressured into anything their emotions rushed them into. It would kill him and he'd have to go through hours of cold showers, but he would get up and drive her home right now if she needed time.

She wrapped a leg around his - she wanted him to know she wasn't leaving and, uh, she really wanted the friction between their bodies again. "I don't wanna wait." She lifted her hips up, hoping he'd get the hint. And he did. Their lips met as his hands roamed her body in a feverish pace and they continued where they'd left off.

Later that night, Andy lay partially on top of Sam, legs tangled together, sheet pulled haphazardly over the bottom half of their joined bodies. He traced patterns on her back with his fingers, enjoying the feel of her warm body on his. She had her head propped up on a bent arm, a smile on her face as she traced his facial features with her eyes. She started with the crinkles of his eyes, thought about the way they became more pronounced when he was laughing or smiling. She let her index finger graze the ones on his right eye briefly. She moved her eyes to his strong cheekbones and then to his nose, noticing an ever so slight bump that made her wonder if he'd broken it sometime in his life. His lips, so soft and warm on hers all night, were still swollen from their kisses. Her thumb rubbed across the strong line of his jaw, feeling his day-old stubble. Her eyes continued their journey lower to his chest, but instead of the hair speckled across it, she saw three bullet holes; the three bullets she shot into the kidnapper.

He immediately saw the change in her demeanor - the glazed over eyes, the slight frown that had taken over her smile - and became worried. "Hey, you okay?" he asked.

She took a deep breath as her eyes met his. "I will be, thanks to you," she said, her lips curving into a small smile again.

"You will," he agreed. "And I'm here whenever you need me."

"You always are."

She rested her head on his chest, didn't want to think about having to leave. She was scared about going home and being alone; wondered if nightmares would plague her sleep tonight.

He petted a hand down her hair before trying to choose his next words carefully. "I know that, uh...I've heard you say you can't sleep away from home, so, uh, if you need to leave, I can drive you home. I, uh...you had a long day today, you should get a good night's sleep." The last thing he wanted to do was leave this blissful state, but it was more important for her to sleep. And he wanted to be the one to bring her home; didn't want her thinking she had to sneak out and walk home alone.

She nodded into his chest. She didn't want to leave the comfort of his arms, but she'd never been comfortable sleeping in someone else's bed. "Mmmhmm, yeah, a few minutes. Thanks," she mumbled, as she struggled to fight her drooping eyelids.

They'd both been silent for a few minutes when Sam felt Andy snuggle closer to him, like she was burrowing into him. "Andy?" he whispered, but got no response. A grin broke out when he realized she'd fallen asleep. He pulled the sheets up to her shoulders, careful not to wake her with his movements, and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

He forced himself to stay awake for a while longer, wanting to make sure she didn't wake up and decide she needed to leave. Eventually, he couldn't fight it any longer, and arms wrapped around her body, he fell asleep.