Fathers and Daughters

Beckett had been at work all day. Castle hadn't gone in at all; he had spent the morning and part of the afternoon with Alexis.

Considering the circumstances around her absences, Columbia had given Alexis reasonable leeway to get some of her work caught up at home, coming in to meet with professors a couple of times toward the end of the two weeks she was out. The work itself wasn't a problem for her. It was being alone and in the open to get to where she needed to be that worried her. Her mind knew there was no more danger on campus than before, but her instincts were on high alert all the time. She felt ready to run at the slightest provocation. The times she had been back on campus, she had asked her father to take her. They both knew it wouldn't be healthy for either of them to plan on that for too long; but during those two weeks, they both needed the reassurance. Kate didn't interfere. She even promised to take time off to get Alexis there if Castle had meetings.

Toward the end of the two weeks, Alexis decided she needed to either drop out for the rest of the semester or take her life back; and this was the day she returned to the dorm. She had afternoon classes on Monday, so Castle took her back in the morning and hung out for a little while with his daughter and her friends, feeling better that they seemed genuinely concerned about her. Some of them were markedly impressed that he had gotten on a plane and left for Paris to find help for her when he found out she was there, making Castle wonder what their fathers would have done. He was comforted by the initial welcome back, the expressions of concern, and the offers of company if Alexis needed it. A couple of the girls had read some of his books, and he answered a few questions and joked with them for a few minutes before he left. By the time he was on his way back to his car, he felt he was almost back to being the cool dad again. Being the cool dad didn't dampen the concern about leaving his child behind, though. The kidnapping was still too fresh in his mind, and he knew it was still weighing heavily on hers, too.

By the time he left, it was early afternoon and close to time for her classes. Several of the girls were going in the same direction and were planning to walk with Alexis and meet her after her class, which helped Castle make himself leave. He got in the car in the parking lot and called Kate.

"Beckett."

"Hey. Anything interesting going on there?" he asked.

"Not much. Everything we suspected panned out. Just got the last tech report. We're ready to close this one."

"Want me to come in?"

"You can if you want to; but by the time you're here, we'll be down to the paperwork, which I'll probably finish faster if you aren't staring at me. The good news is that if I finish it fast, I can probably leave about an hour early and meet you at the loft. Why don't you go home and try to relax. I'll see if I can help when I get there."

He could almost see the teasing smile as he listened. "Okay," he sighed. "Maybe I'll try to get a little writing done. Hurry up?"

"I'll do my best."

"Bye."

"Hey, Castle."

"Yeah?"

"I miss you, too."

xxxxx

Rick sat in his study nursing a glass of bourbon with his laptop on his desk before him as if he might write, but nothing was happening on that front. He didn't usually drink that early in the day, but Beckett had said he should try to relax, and he had no intention of having more than one. As he took another swallow, there was a knock at the door, so he left his drink and went to answer it, finding Jim Beckett on the other side.

"Jim, this is a surprise. Come in. Let me take your coat. I was just wishing for somebody to talk to. What can I do for you?"

"Nothing," Jim answered, shedding his coat and handing it to Castle. "Just came by for a visit. I talked to Katie earlier; she said you took Alexis back to school today and were here alone this afternoon. I thought you might need some company."

As Castle hung Jim's coat in the closet, he answered with relief, "Yeah. I do. Come on in. Can I get you something? Juice. Iced tea?"

"No thanks. Just thought I'd let you talk…father to father. Daughters are special. It's hard letting them go."

"You're preaching to the choir. Come on in the study."

"So this is where Nikki Heat happens?" Jim asked as he followed Castle in and sat down, nodding toward his laptop.

"Mostly," Rick answered as he sat down in his desk chair. "When inspiration strikes, Nikki sometimes follows me around the whole place. Days like today when there's no inspiration at all, she just mocks me from behind the screen."

Jim laughed easily as Rick looked annoyed and closed the laptop a bit dramatically.

"When Katie came to see me last week, she said she had your blessing to tell me most of what really happened in Paris. That was… I don't know what to say, Rick. There are so many parts of that trip for you to cope with…and I'm honored that you'd trust me with it."

"We're keeping it among family. I don't want Kate to have to hide things from you, and I do trust you. As far as I'm concerned, you're part of my family now, too."

"Family?" he asked with a teasing smile a lot like Kate's. "Is there something Katie hasn't told me?"

"Not yet," Rick chuckled, "but that's what I want. I might as well ask for your blessing now." He looked down to where his hand rested on his desk as he made circles with his forefinger, seeming more intent than before. "I'm still looking for signs that we're ready. Kate and I…we're trying to get this right. Both of us have been betrayed…left behind in one way or another…or several…and this kind of trust comes hard…for both of us; but I think we're close." Looking up again, he said convincingly, "If I had to put words to paper, I don't think I could find enough to say how much I love your daughter." He paused and broached a touchy subject. "How much does it worry you that I was married twice before?"

"I'll admit it worried me at first, and then I listened to my daughter talk about you…often…and then I met you. And then I met that doctor for the first time at the hospital, and you won hands down. She never talked about him much, didn't seem to care if I ever met him. When I saw you and Katie together the first time, I knew I didn't need to worry anymore. You don't have to ask twice for my blessing, son. I haven't seen her this happy since before her mother died. It takes a while to convince my stubborn child what's good for her, but once she makes up her mind…"

"It's looking that way," Rick answered with a satisfied smile. "And I haven't been this happy about anything since the day Alexis was born."

"She's concerned about you and Alexis. She knows you'll both be okay, but she hurts with you to see what you're going through."

"How do you do it, Jim?" Rick asked. "Know she's out there every day with the kind of people she has to deal with and keep yourself sane?"

"It isn't easy. Even with a normal job, the world can take them from us in so many ways. I know you're feeling that right now. It had to be hard to leave Alexis on her own this morning."

"It was. It still is. I want to drive back over there right now, bring her home, and keep her in a cocoon for a while longer."

"I know that feeling, but it won't work."

"Yeah. They kind of rebel against cocoons, don't they? I think the worst of it is that I know a little part of Alexis still wants that, too."

"Then you should be proud that she has the strength to get back to her life and face it down. Knowing you're always here when she needs you is what gives her the courage to do that. It doesn't make you irrelevant."

"I needed to hear that."

I took the wrong path after we lost Johanna." Pointing to the drink on Rick's desk, he said, "Don't ever let that get the upper hand…even if something happens to one of our girls. Either of them would hate that." He looked down for a moment, then looked back up to meet Rick's eyes honestly. "Johanna would have hated that. I let my little girl down when she needed me most. I let both of them down, and I'll never forgive myself for it. I know Katie's tried to forgive me, but I think there may always be a little part of her that can't. Can't say that I'd blame her."

"I see Kate look at you the same way I see Alexis look at me. Look for it when she gets here. I 'm sure the two of you are okay. I like seeing you together. It gives me hope that maybe Alexis will still look at me that way when she's Kate's age." He smiled at the thought, and so did Jim.

"And I needed to hear that." Jim answered. "You want to talk about what happened to your daughter?"

"Maybe later. Kate told you all of it, I think. God, I was so scared. The thought that I might never see her again…" Tears pooled in his eyes, and his voice faltered. "Sorry," he said trying to inconspicuously wipe at his eyes.

"Don't apologize. I'm sure you saw worse from me when Katie was shot. There's no law that says a dad can't shed a few tears."

"And being a lawyer, I guess you'd know."

"And being family, I'd worry if you didn't." He grinned at Rick with that teasing smile again. Looking more serious, he said, "I know you finally met your father, and that it was better than what you might have imagined. I know you'd rather have him, but if you need somebody to fill in since he can't be around, I'm available. Remember that."

"I will." Rick stopped to pull himself together and almost managed. His voice didn't crack, but the strain was evident. "I honestly don't know how to feel about my father. I liked him, wanted to get to know him better, but it scares me at the same time. If one of his enemies found out we're his family, I have to wonder if someone else could, too. It may be something only that one man knew, may be that everybody who knew it is dead,; but it's going to sit in the back of all our minds for a long time. It could be any of us. Somebody could look for Alexis again." He ran both hands through his hair in frustration.

"And that shooter sits in the back of my mind just waiting for me to come across something that reminds me there could be another one. The two of you have had too many close calls. But neither of our children are likely to tolerate one of those cocoons."

"No. Not likely. So we just live with it?"

"All we can do."

"Castle?" they heard from Kate as the front door opened.

"In the study," he called. "We have company."

"Dad?" Kate smiled and went to hug her father…and there was the look Rick had mentioned.

Jim recognized it and smiled at Rick across his daughter's shoulder as he stood to give her a hug, getting a smile and a thumb's up from the younger man in return.

"What are you doing here?" Kate asked, walking over to Rick to perch on the arm of his chair and draping one arm around his shoulders.

"Just thought he might want some company until you got here. The man had to part with his daughter again."

"Thanks, Dad," she answered.

Rick put his arm around her waist and looked up at her. "Hey."

"Hey," she answered and leaned to leave a little peck on his lips.

"I should probably go." Jim said.

"Thanks for babysitting," Castle answered. "Why don't you stay for dinner? Do you have other plans?"

"Nothing much."

"Good." Looking up at Kate, Rick asked, "You want to cook or order in?"

"Dad likes chicken alfredo. There's still half of it in the fridge. All we need is bread and a salad."

"It's looking pretty domestic around here," Jim observed, looking pleased that the younger two were so comfortable with one another now.

"We're working on it, Dad," Kate answered, rolling her eyes.

Castle leaned back and enjoyed the interplay between father and daughter. The three of them talked for a while, drifting from subject to subject until it seemed a good time to start dinner, then they moved the conversation to the kitchen. In the midst of the dinner preparations, Alexis called.

"Hey, honey. How are you doing?"

"Still a little edgy, but I wanted to check in and let you know I'm okay."

"About as okay as I am?"

"Yeah, probably. Maybe I just needed to hear your voice. I might call you back at bedtime."

"You can call me anytime. You know that."

"I know. Love you."

"Love you, too."

"Alexis?" Jim asked as Rick disconnected the call.

"Yeah. She was just checking in."

Jim squeezed Rick's shoulder in sympathy for what they were all trying to get over. When he left shortly after dinner, Kate and Rick walked him to the door. He hugged his daughter and then gave Rick a quick hug, too.

"Remember what I said," he told him, reaching for the door knob. "Any time. Just call."

"I'll remember. Thanks for this afternoon…and for trusting me with your daughter."

Jim just nodded. "Goodnight, Katie."

"'Night, Dad." After the door closed, she asked, "What was that about?"

"Your father offered to be a stand-in dad when I need one. To have been fatherless all my life, it's a little overwhelming to all of a sudden have two…but I like it."

"I can tell," she answered and kissed him the way she wanted to when she came in…but wouldn't in front of her father.

He held her close. "Alexis may call back before she goes to bed."

"Good. Can I talk to her for a minute when she does?"

"She'd like that. I can't believe your dad just dropped in to keep me company. We had a good talk before you got home…not long, but helpful for both of us, I think."

"Did I interrupt anything you wish you could have finished?"

"No."

"What did you talk about?"

"Fathers and daughters," he answered with a smile.

"Male bonding?"

"Yeah."

"With my dad."

"Yeah. I like your Dad, and he likes me. That's working out, too."

She smiled the smile that always went straight to Castle's heart and said, "Come on. Let's be domestic and go clean up the kitchen."

"Your father would be proud," he said with his little smirk."

Kate kissed his little smirk, and they went to put the kitchen back in order, drifting easily into their playful bickering as they worked.