The Wonders of Flipping Out

Chapter One

No Cats

"You see, this is exactly why I think you are the stupidest human being that the universe ever decided to conceive from a poor woman's filthy womb!"

"Oh, and what is it this time, drama-flipping-queen? Did I miss a fold while ironing your precious shirts?" His lisp was god-awfully noticeable. In all honesty, he should have gotten that fixed at a young age while he was still learning how to talk. It's far too late for that, though. This douche bag's already in college.

"Haha, very funny, count thpitth-a-lot," The shorter mocked, "No, it is in fact, not a fold in my damned shirt. It is that putrid, disgusting creature over there." He juts out his index finger toward a small, black ball of fur huddled in the corner of the gray painted room.

"What, you mean Nepeta?"

"You named it?!" The stout man spat in obvious anger. "Are you kidding me right now? Are you serious? Like, on your fourth cousin's great-great-great grandfather's dirtied, disgusting grave that you named that god forsaken creature?!"

"For crying out loud, KK! It's just a kitten!" Sollux couldn't fathom what the big deal was.

Flabbergasted, Karkat broke out into a full outburst of rage. "Really?! Really?! Are you fucking serious?! How many times have I told you, in all the only forty two days that I've known you-"

"You've been counting the days?" Sollux interrupted, but Karkat continued anyway.

"That I am allergic to cats?! I mean, did you just not care enough to listen to my simple requests for you not to get any sort of feline animal or are you doing this just to piss me off my edge of tolerance?! Because, there is only so much I can tolerate when it comes to other fucking people! Especially, stupid ass dickheads, like you, who don't like to listen to others or think about what the fuck they do before they do it!" He finished with a stomp of his foot, storming off to his room where he proceeded his exist by slamming the door, only to open it again and yell at his flatmate, "And get that fucking thing out of here! Now!" then slam the hardwood, once more.

Sighing as he walked to the corner, Sollux picked up Nepeta, the small cat letting out a happy "meow" and tunes of purs. Lispy couldn't help but smile and scratch behind her ears, quietly humming to himself as he opened his flat door to a hall and a flight of stairs leading to the lobby and front entrance of the building.

With each step taken down the stairs, Nepeta emphasized a pur, nuzzling closer in his arms. The smile planted across his face slowly began to fade as realization of no longer having cute, adorable, sweet, fluffy Nepeta set in. He'd only known this cat for about an hour, but he felt so right with her. Plus, she was super soft for an alley cat. She had no fleas, nor ticks and telling from how clean and shiney her fur was, probably didn't have any internal parasites, either. She must have had just been dropped off or something. Either way, he was attached to this cat.

As he reached the end of the steps, a voice rang from his left. "Good evening, Mr. Captor. May I ask what that is in your arms?"

Sollux turned to find Mr. Scratch, the flat owner, walking toward him, a grin painted across his pale, slick face. "Oh, hey, Mr. Scratch. It's a, uh, it's a cat." Sollux never bothered to ask whether they were allowed to have pets in their flat or not, mostly because it never crossed his mind.

"Oh!" His grin grew. "Where are you taking the little cutie?"

"Well," Sollux frowned, "I think I'm going to-"

"Take her to the pound?" The older man interrupted, crossing his arms and leaning against the stair railing. "I figured as much. Karkat hates cats."

Lispy's face twisted in confusion. "I thought he said he's allergic to them."

"No, no," Scratch chuckled, "That's just the poor boy's excuse for not liking them. He's perfectly fine around cats, he just hates them more than he himself... Sad soul."

"Oh..."

"But, you know, lad, you really shouldn't take it somewhere filthy like the pound. In fact, I can think of a better home for the little fur ball." His grin was genuinely beamed at the collegeman as he stepped upon the flight of stairs himself. "Follow me, my boy."

Sollux, not really having any reason to object, complied, following the older man up the steps he had just trekked down only moments ago. "You see," Scratch began, "there's a man here, who moved in about a week ago. From the moment I met him, he seemed very lonely and as if he needed some sort of companionship. So, maybe..."

"Nepeta," Sollux spoke out, figuring he was in someway asking for the kitten's name.

"Nepeta," he echoed, "would do him some good."

Once to room 203, Scratch knocked at the stranger's room, Sollux standing behind his halted body, still holding Nepeta as they both waited for a response from behind the faded green door. A moment of silence was hung between both of the men before crashing of what sounded of metal and hard footsteps were heard. Soon, a man, standing a little more than seven foot, stood before them, sweating like a horse. "Yes?" The man answered in a deep, husky tone. His hair was pitch black, straight, and slicked back, reaching to almost his shoulders. The unnecessary sunglasses he wore upon his, more than damp, face were cracked and slowly slid down his nose, causing him to lift his hand and push them back up, repeating this action more than once.

"Ah, yes, Mr. Zahhak," Scratch smiled, placing his hands behind the small of his back, only raising them to gesture as he spoke. "How are you enjoying your flat so far? Are you settling in all right?"

"Oh, uh, very much so," Replied the ripped, sweating man, "I think this will suit my well being for the temporary time I will be staying here."

"Mmm, yes, now, are you lonely?" Scratch's expression abided. He didn't move an inch.

On the other hand, both Sollux and Mr. Zahhak were struck with surprise at the abrupt question. Reason being, they hadn't known Mr. Scratch long enough to expect a blunt question like that. Something like this is typical for the building owner. "W-Well," Mr. Zahhak stuttered, "I haven't had a suitable companion in quite a while, with all of the moving around and looking for a-"

"You're not, by any chance, allergic to cats, are you?" Mr. Scratch's composure was kept the same. Again, the older man didn't move even a single inch. How does a guy stand that still? The hell? He's like a statue.

"No. I do not have any allergies. Why do you ask?" Mr. Zahhak questioned as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and continued to sweat ferociously.

"Well, Mr. Captor has this adorable kitten with him; but he is unable to keep her. His flatmate is, uh...allergic to cats, I'm afraid." Scratch turned to Sollux who stood behind him, petting the purring cat, and took her from his arms. "We don't want to torture the poor kitty by taking her to a pound, so we were just wondering if you had any space on your living quarters for little Nepeta." Spinning on his heel, he once again faced the perspiring man, holding her out toward him.

Mr. Zahhak took a moment to assess the situation, then with a stiff shrug, he stated, "I've never had a cat before."

"There's always a first for everything!" And with that, Mr. Scratch handed the hefty man the loving feline. "Wonderful! Now, you two have fun," He beamed a satisfied, yet gleed, smile. Turning once again on his heel, he spun around to find the empty handed Sollux frowning and staring at the floor.

By this time, Mr. Zahhak had already shut his door, taking little Nep along with him. "That cat was really damned cute," Sollux stated, forlornly.

Mr. Scratch chuckled as he started down the hall, waving for Lispy to tag along. "I'm sure she'll be better off without Mr. Vantas screaming at you both all day."

(( Oh my jesus, why did this take so damn long to write? It's school. Always taking up all my time. Barely have time to talk to anyone, anymore.
Anywho, thanks for reading this horrid first chapter. I'm planning on writing more, but I don't know how long it will take for me to post it. I don't think I'll be able to go every Monday like I had planned...Maybe, every other Monday.
Well, I'm going to work on the next chapter.
See ya, then.
- Bug ))