Chapter One is set between the episodes 6x12 "Closing Time" and 6x13 "The Wedding of River Song".

Chapter One

When he'd left Craig's, he'd been overcome with a sense of acceptance. Maybe it really was time, maybe his song really was ending. After all, time can be rewritten, nothing was set in stone. With a kind of resolution he hadn't felt in years he'd stepped into the TARDIS and began making some preparations. If he really had to go, he wanted his family to be there with him. It was one thing to accept one's death, but that didn't mean he had to die alone.

He found the data he needed and put all the information inside two TARDIS-blue envelopes: One for Amy and Rory, because this body had started with them and it was only right for them to be there when it would end. And one for River, who he had hoped he could have spent so much more time with, exploring each other and maybe even start something real; something timeless and universal.

He decided to post his mail a week before the appointed time in order to give everyone enough time to make it to Utah. He set the coordinates, started the engine, parked the TARDIS and left through the door, only to come to a sudden stop just outside the TARDIS-doorstep, when he realised that something wasn't quite right. This was London alright, but it sure as hell wasn't April 2011! With a confused frown the Doctor quickly got back on board of the TARDIS and stepped near the console. He pulled the screen towards him to check the time:

Earth, Great Britain, London

23rd December 2002

"December 2002? What am I suppose to do here?" It only took some quick moves to re-enter the correct coordinates and re-start the engine – but nothing happened. For whatever reason his faithful ship wanted him to be in London during Christmas 2002.

"Why did you bring me here; nothing happened at Christmas in 2002!" Confusion took hold of him and with a new found energy the Doctor tried to find the reason for this particular time and place. He was sure that the TARDIS wouldn't bring him anywhere for no reason at all. But there was nothing! No matter how often he checked his data, how carefully he concentrated on the timelines in his head, he couldn't find a reason.

"Well, if you wanna be this way, fine! Don't tell me, I will find out myself!" He sounded like a petulant child, but it seemed the TARDIS didn't care much for being treated that way, as she didn't give any more information. Instead she chose to shine a light towards her door, encouraging the Doctor to indeed find out for himself.

With a slight huff the Time Lord fixed his bow tie and strutted down the ramp of the console room. He pulled open the door, stepped outside and let it fall shut behind him before turning around and again finding himself in the middle of a beautiful winter wonderland.

He was in a small park area, where everything was white and peaceful. Thick snowflakes were still falling from the sky and as he made a few steps and turned a corner he realised why the TARDIS had brought him here: He could see the Powell Estate just over the tops of the trees.

Within a second his feelings for her returned to the center of his heart. He could smell the strawberry shampoo in her hair and the underlining scent of Lavender and that special smell of just her on her skin. He remembered the feel of her hand in his and the feeling he would get every time she would smile at him; that special smile where her tongue would peak though her teeth, the one he'd like to think she'd reserved only for him.

Suddenly he panicked. He couldn't see her, couldn't risk bumping into her. He had just accepted his fate, was just starting to come to terms with his looming death. If he saw her now, how could he possibly leave this place ever again? He would just keep pushing off the inevitable, unable to force himself to leave her again.

With panic in his eyes, the Doctor turned around, about to leave this time and place as fast as possible, when he suddenly found himself on the ground, cold snow starting to seep through his trousers.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" Her hair was as blond as he remembered and the sudden smell of strawberries made him choke up completely. She stood before him just as he remembered she had looked like on that day in March 2005, grabbing his arm and helping him to his feet while still apologizing vehemently. "I hope you didn't hurt yourself. Is everything a'right?"

He could feel his hearts beating far too fast within his chest, this couldn't be happening! He should get away from her now, he should just turn around and run! The Doctor noticed how Rose's face turned even more concerned and realised he still hadn't said anything.

"Fine! I… ah… fine." A small smile formed on her lips and all thoughts of leaving this beautiful woman were just distant memories. How could he leave her again and of his own free will? She'd been cruelly ripped from him and when she'd finally found her way back to him he made the biggest mistake of his life by leaving her on that beach. He just couldn't make that mistake again; he didn't have the strength to walk away from her, from this perfect human, yellow and pink girl.

"Hi." He hoped she wouldn't find him creepy, standing there and grinning at her like a fool. He remembered that he'd looked much older when they'd first met and felt happy about this new, young face.

"Hey." Her smile was back and he was sure that he'd never seen anything quite so bright and pure. "I'm Rose and you are… not from around 'ere?" Her gaze flickered towards his bow tie and jacket and made it clear that she would have remembered someone wearing such unusual clothes in her neighbourhood.

"No, ah… I'm just here for a visit. More like a Goodbye, actually." He grabbed her hand and shook it. "John. John Smith."

Rose shook his hand and smiled, but he could see the timelines and how she would just walk away, forgetting him almost immediately. He couldn't let that happen, he had to change the timelines, he had to say something! Now that he'd seen her again, talked to her, smelled her, he knew that he couldn't walk to his death. Not without saying his farewell to her properly.

"Would you like to grab a coffee… or tea? Or something? With me?" The Doctor spoke quickly before she had a chance to walk away. Then he remembered Mickey and his heart sank. He knew that she'd been with the young bloke when she'd met his old self and it hadn't seemed like a fresh relationship either. It could very well be that Rose and Mickey were already dating.

"I would like that, yes." Rose' words stopped his train of thoughts abruptly and he couldn't help but give her his brightest smile in weeks. She turned away from the Powell Estate to point at an undefined place, telling him of some small diner with the most awful tea in town. "But they do have some really good chips." He happily agreed and walked beside her towards the tiny place where they had had their first chips-date.

It surprised him how easily he could talk to her. Of course he'd always been able to talk to her easily, but this was an early Rose. A Rose who didn't know him yet, just seventeen years of age, still young and innocent. She told him of her mother and her life without a father, of her school and how she was thinking about dropping out, because her boyfriend wanted to travel with his rock band.

He told her vaguely about his travels and adventures, about his friends that accompany him and about a religious group that wants him to stop doing what he does before his adventures hurt even more people than they already have. He told her that he'd been running away his whole life and maybe this wasn't the solution to all problems. Maybe running away just delays the inevitable and the sooner he accepts his fate, the better and safer it would be for everyone involved.

"Ya' really believe that, John?" Her voice was soft and just above a whisper and for a moment the Doctor wasn't sure if she'd asked because she wanted him to admit his fault or because she wanted him to tell her the secret of a long searched-for truth. But the truth was that he didn't know. He felt defeated and tired and part of him just wanted to stop. With a lost look on his face he gazed at her and her smile told him that she understood.

"Maybe you haven't been running away, maybe it's been more of a running to things: to people, to friends." She moved her hand above his and squeezed it lightly. "From what I've gathered you've done a lot a' good and helped a lot a' people. Why would ya' think this has to stop, just because some pessimistic god-groupies see death around every corner?"

A small chuckle escaped him as he considered Rose' words. He'd always known that she was smart; way smarter than she gave herself credit for. Maybe she was right. Maybe what he was doing was nothing else than running away, because what else is suicide than running away from life? Maybe he should just stop to run away from his life and continue to run to people he cared for.

"Those are very wise words, Rose Tyler." He gave her an honest smile and held her hand tightly between his.

They stayed at the diner for five and a half hours just talking and holding hands. Then, as the owner kicked them out because he wanted to close up, he offered to walk her back home.

"It's funny, you know? It's as if I've known ya' for ages." They'd arrived at her apartment building a few minutes ago, but remained outside, not willing to let each other go so soon. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, how he had never stopped loving her, how he still dreamed of her every other night. He wanted to prove to her how much she meant to him, how she had changed him for the better, how she had changed his life again this evening, how lucky he felt to get this last chance to see her, to smell her, to feel her.

Instead he smiled at her and slowly leaned forward, pressing his lips to her cold cheek. He remained like that for a moment longer, then straightened again. He knew she had a boyfriend and he also knew how loyal and faithful she'd always been. A kiss on the cheek was all he could ask for.

"Thank you, Rose. You have no idea how much this evening has meant to me." A sad shadow fell over her face, as she realised that he was bidding her goodbye. She had been hoping to see him again, instead his words sounded like a definite farewell without a chance to meet again.

"Take care of yourself, John!" Her smile was sad and hopeful at the same time. She really hoped he would find his spirit again; the spirit he'd been telling her about; the spirit she so desperately wanted in her life as well; the one she hoped to find with her boyfriend, Jimmy.

The Doctor felt lighter in his hearts as he began walking back to the TARDIS. Turns out his faithful ship had known exactly where to bring him once again. He didn't have to accept his so-called fate, he could see that now. It was time to get started on the rest of his life, starting with his "death".

At the end of the street he turned around one last time. Rose was still watching him, her smile sending him all the strength he needed for what was about to come. He raised his voice and told her what he'd always wanted her to know: "You are the most remarkable person I have ever met, Rose. Don't let anyone ever tell you any different!" The bright beam on her face was the last thing he saw before he turned the corner and disappeared into the unbelievable world he'd come from.