Chapter 1 – It's a Good Day!

Warnings: If you read my last FFVII story, you know the drill – yaoi sex, filthy language, adult situations – yippee!

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor do I profit from, Final Fantasy VII or any of its characters. Still!

Costa Del Sol. Voted the number two vacation destination by the most recent poll in Consumer Retorts, the weekly ShinRa Company magazine. (The number one vacation destination is, of course, the Golden Saucer. Gambling, an awesome sky ride, fireworks, and a haunted hotel? No mere beach could compete with that.) Cloud Strife had plenty of time to read Consumer Retorts every week, as he usually had plenty of time between tricks. In the same issue with the poll, there was an article by Rue Willoughby titled, "Monopolies … Are They Really That Bad?" And an article by Xenophyliis T. Smith entitled, "The Men of ShinRa: Flesh and Fantasy". Now that was a really good one. Cloud had developed quite the crush on Tseng, the head of the Turks, after reading that article and pouring over the accompanying pictures. What a hottie! Stern … all that long, black hair … gawd. He was just Cloud's type.

Giving a bored sigh, Cloud tossed the magazine aside and glanced at the clock. His latest 'date' was late. Par for the course in this fucked-up place. He could feel bass booming through the walls, from the karaoke rooms next door, like a muffled heartbeat in a horror movie. He stood up and stretched, straightening the stand-up collar on the jacket he was wearing. His next customer had requested he wear a schoolboy uniform … oh, boy. Can't wait to see what kind of perv was going to show up this time. If he even came at all, which happened roughly 3 out of 10 times. Guys who lost their nerve at the last minute, he supposed. Whatever, the room was free, he could read Consumer Retorts and drink all the soda in the mini-fridge, and he could listen to music if he wanted. It was all good.

Cloud had been working in the sex industry since a couple weeks after he'd arrived in Costa Del Sol, arriving in the resort town with just a few gil left in his pocket and the clothes in his small, battered suitcase. But here's the trouble with resort towns: yeah, they're fun, they look like a fantasy-land, people are happy, there's lots to do – but only if you have money. Cloud found a job in a convenience store near the beach (everywhere was near the beach in Costa Del Sol!), but it was only part-time and didn't pay enough to cover rent in even the cheapest places. So when he'd been approached by the owner of the karaoke bar, he'd jumped at the chance. With the stipulation that he only serviced guys. He was no regulation host - forced to fawn over women, kissing their painted toenails and trying to get them to spring for a bottle of Dom Perignon … no fuckin' thanks! Cloud was as gay as gay could be. He was a switch, too, so he could give it or take it, either way, he liked it all and could perform either role with equal fervor. He liked men and he liked sex. The money was damn good. And he didn't have a boyfriend. So why not.

He checked his appearance in the mirrors that lined the walls of the private karaoke room. Slender but with nice musculature … a little on the short side, but if he was too tall he couldn't work the uke angle as well. Handsome face, if he said so himself, with startling blue eyes that he didn't have to wear colored contacts to brighten up. His eyes and his hair were his best features, he had decided long ago, and they were what got him the most attention. Today his hair was parted and held in place on both side with hair clips. The back spiked out a little no matter what, but he actually really did look like some school kid. Great. Perfect. Perfect for the perv. The thought made him giggle.

A knock at the door startled him out of his reverie. Time to get to work! He went to the door and unlocked it, opened it, and bowed as he hung onto the doorknob. "Sensei," he said, taking a chance based on the schoolboy uni, "Please … won't you come in?" His voice was soft and light, youthful. Legs walked hesitantly past him – he could see shiny black shoes and dress pants from his bowing position. Cloud straightened up and shut the door, turning the lock. His customer cleared his throat, then said hesitantly, "Uh, hello … young man. I, uh … look, I haven't done this before, I—"

Cloud stepped forward, knowing what his role was here. He kept his eyes downcast. "S-Sensei … haven't done what before? I … I don't understand." Tremulous, puzzled … perfect. Perfect for the perv. Dammit, don't laugh! Cloud kept the inner humor off his face, kept his eyes lowered, his hands clasped in front of his crotch.

"W-Well … I, um … well." More throat-clearing, then a gasp … then silence. It stretched out for a while.

"Um … Sensei?"

"STRIFE?" Loud, slightly hysterical.

Cloud looked up. He was startled for a second, then his face broke into a smile. A slightly sardonic smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Sensei!" he said. He stepped closer. "Yoshi-sensei! It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

Tatamine-sensei. First name Yoshi. Science teacher at Nibelheim High … wow, this was really taking Cloud back. Who knew the guy was into stuff like this? He'd never let on, Cloud couldn't remember the older man's eyes ever lingering on him in class or anything. And … he was married. Oh, this was getting interesting. Still, he was a good-looking guy, Cloud had even noticed it back when he was Tatamine-sensei's student.

"D-don't call me by my first name, S-Strife," the teacher said, recovering slightly.

"But Tatamine-sensei," Cloud said, coming closer. "I'm here at your request." He now stood directly in front of the teacher. "This is a happy reunion, right?" He knew his fresh scent had to be wafting up into Sensei's nostrils – Cloud always made sure he was fresh and clean, every inch, inside and out, for every customer. (Hey, he had standards, okay? Got a problem with that? GFY.) "Did you used to watch me, Sensei? When I was your student?" He leaned in even closer, looking up into the older man's eyes guilelessly, breathing through parted lips.

Sensei had broken into a sweat. Yes, he'd watched Cloud when he was his student. Who didn't? He was beyond cute, he was beautiful in a way that few boys were. Flawless pale skin, cupid's-bow lips, and those eyes – large and faceted blue, you felt like you could lose yourself in them. Slender, almost girlish back then, Sensei had pleasured himself to thoughts of Cloud numerous times. But the thought that he'd ever, ever get to act on any of that? Never! No way!

"Sensei … aren't you happy to see me?" Cloud asked, looking up at him with those eyes. A smile curved soft, coral-pink lips. "Look … I'm here. I'm ready. It can be just what you want. All you have to do … is pay." He leaned forward, laying his head on the older man's chest. "Sensei," he said, his arms creeping around the teacher's waist.

Tatamine was torn, frightened, worried, anxious … but horribly, horribly aroused. His dick knew exactly what it wanted. Pressing insistently against the front of his trousers, it was straining the tensile strength of his zipper. When Cloud snuggled in closer with his whole body, it was pressing lovingly against the boy's … er, the smaller man's belly. Tatamine shuddered.

Cloud felt it. And smiled. It was working like a charm.

"H-How much?" An audible click as he swallowed with a dry mouth.

"For 5000 gil, you can have me all night," Cloud said, offering the banquet rate first. He raised his head and unwrapped his arms from Sensei's waist, pulled the suit coat off of him. Cloud knew victory when it waggled its dick at him!

"I … I can't stay all night," Tatamine said, swallowing hard again. He couldn't take his eyes off of Cloud.

"Then for 1000 gil, you can have me for 4 hours," Cloud said, burying his face in Sensei's chest, practically purring. "How long do you want me for, Tatamine-sensei?"

"Ah!" Sensei gasped as Cloud nibbled on a nipple, through the starched shirt. His fingers were unknotting the teacher's tie. "Two … two hours is all I have, Cloud-kun," Tatamine said, shivering a bit when Cloud suckled that nipple through the material, as his tie was slowly pulled off his neck.

"500 gil then … but that doesn't buy everything, Sensei," Cloud explained as he began unbuttoning the man's shirt. "We couldn't … you couldn't … " he pretended to blush, with downcast eyes, biting his lip. Even without the color, it was impressive!

"Couldn't?" Sensei said, his hands coming up to fall lightly onto Cloud's shoulders. He groaned audibly when Cloud licked his chest, lightly, like a cat.

"C-Couldn't … go all the way!" Cloud finished in a rush. He buried his face in Sensei's stomach, acting like he was too embarrassed to show his expression.

"How much more?" Tatamine-sensei asked … clearly falling for Cloud's acting. He was a bit more assured now, the seme in him was rearing its head … and having your old heart's desire fall so deliciously into your hands – out of the blue! – is something few men can resist.

"J-just one hundred more gil, Tatamine-sensei!" Cloud said breathlessly, clutching the man's shirt in both hands.

"Done," Sensei said. Cloud kept his face hidden while the teacher got out his wallet and counted out the bills, slipping them into the lockbox built in underneath the table for just that purpose, after Cloud breathlessly pointed out its existence. "Now, Cloud … show Sensei your sweet face," he said, tilting Cloud's face upward with one fingertip. When Cloud did so, Sensei kissed his lips bruisingly and stepped around behind him, keeping hold of his shoulders. "Close your eyes, Strife-kun," the man said. "Pretend you're on the train, on your way to school."

Oh, great … he was a closet train-molester, too! Oh, well. Not like he hadn't played this little scene out before, it was just surprising to find out that his old teacher was into this shit. So Cloud stood there, holding a stack of magazines like it was his schoolbooks, and startled as a stealthy hand crept under his long school jacket and rubbed his cock through the front of his pants. "No," he whispered softly. "No … stop …."

"Shhh," came a soft voice in his ear. "You don't want people to see this, do you? Hold still and be a good boy." Rubbing more insistently now, another hand slid under Cloud's jacket and began caressing his nipples through his shirt.

"Nn," Cloud gave a little subvocalized moan under his breath. "Please … please stop," he whispered, eyes still closed.

"But look … your body is more honest," Sensei said, undoing Cloud's belt and sliding his hand down inside his pants. He clutched Cloud's dick – which, thankfully, was hard (gotta go along with the script!) – and caressed it while his breath began to gust into Cloud's right ear. "Oh, yeah … what a good boy you are," the man breathed.

Jesus, Cloud thought. But his cock was enjoying the attention, so he went with it, starting to squirm as the pleasure built up. Tatamine-sensei stroked him off, pressing his cock against Cloud's backside, and when Cloud came bashfully, with his hands over his mouth and his eyes squeezed tightly shut, uttering little whimpers of pleasure, Sensei came too – all over the inside of his dress pants. Cloud had to stifle his giggles.

When it was time to get down and dirty – Cloud still mostly dressed in the school uniform, his pants down around his ankles – Sensei insisted on using a condom, almost acting like he was doing Cloud a favor. Inside, Cloud was rolling his eyes. If Yoshi-sensei hadn't insisted on one, Cloud would have. No-one was sticking their cock in either of Cloud's wet holes without a raincoat on, thank you very much!

Soon he was leaning forward, hands on the desk, gasping for breath and uttering things like, "More! More, Sensei!" and trying not to snap at the man for pulling his hair. But soon it really was feeling good, the hands gripping his buttocks, pulling them apart, the medium-sized dick pistoning in and out of his ass. Surprisingly, Tatamine-sensei was good at finding and then striking Cloud's prostate gland, and when Cloud came he was truly shouting with pleasure. Cloud Strife liked sex. And with a little imagination, there was no such thing as "bad" sex.

Sensei stroked Cloud's dick, milking all the cum out of it, as his own seed poured out of him into the condom. "Yes! Cloud-kun! Nnh!" he groaned. This had been awesome! His favorite fantasies, fulfilled by the last person on Gaia that Yoshi had thought he'd ever have a chance with. Amazing. Astounding. He … he would want more, he thought, panting.

Afterwards, as Cloud cleaned him up, kneeling between his legs as Sensei lolled on the couch, he said, "Cloud-kun … can I see you again? The next time I come to Costa Del Sol?" He reached out to pet Cloud's hair – now escaped from the hair clips and springing up into its customary spikes.

Cloud smiled at him. "Of course, Tatamine-sensei. All you have to do is go to the website and request me. Ask for CS. Okay?"

"I will," the older man murmured. And he would. This was too good to pass up! "Perhaps … I should be able to come back in two weeks. Will you be available?"

"Book me early," Cloud said, smiling again. He had amassed quite a few 'regulars' since he'd started in the trade. "And if you have any special requests, you can put them in the comments section. All right, Sensei?" He finished washing off Sensei's penis and scrotum, dried him with a fluffy towel, held out his hand to help the man up, and straightened all his clothing, including the tie.

"Such care you take, Cloud-kun. I like it," Tatamine said. He pulled Cloud into his arms.

Cloud resisted for a split second, then relaxed into the embrace. Call it public relations. Pubic relations, his traitorous mind supplied, and Cloud was only barely able to stifle his giggle. It was all part of the package.

"Someone like you … you must have a lover or a special someone, Cloud-kun," Sensei said as he straightened up and shot his cuffs. "How does he feel about this work?" He sounded truly curious.

"Nah … no-one like that, Sensei," Cloud said, smiling. "I don't have time for stuff like that." They walked to the door, Cloud put his hand on the doorknob.

"Well … that's a shame," Sensei said, although he sounded kinda glad. "I'll see you again soon, Cloud-kun." He leaned in for a kiss and Cloud allowed it, although he didn't have to. Public relations.

"Yes, Sensei," Cloud said, appearing rather bashful again.

"I – suddenly I don't want to leave," Sensei said, staring down at the blond.

Cloud didn't say anything, just stood there, looking up, looking down, looking up again with a little smile.

"Cloud-kun … I'll be back! You can count on it!" Sensei said, and abruptly turned to go. Cloud opened the door for him with a little bow. Neither said a word when the door was opened, and Cloud stayed back out of sight, closing it swiftly after Tatamine-sensei was through.

Cloud shut the door softly, shot the lock again, and sighed, loud and long. The sex had been okay, but the acting job – that alone was worth 3000 gil! Oh, well, nothing he could do about it. He keyed open the lock box and took out the 600 gil, set aside 250 for Ray (the owner of the karaoke bar), and slipped the rest into his wallet, which was also in the lockbox. Quickly he stripped out of the schoolboy outfit, tossing it into the laundry bag in the closet. He plucked his cellphone out of the lockbox and called Ray. "Yo," he said when the man answered. "It's Cloud. Am I done?"

"Well," the scratchy voice said in Cloud's ear, "got a couple youngsters out here, wanting some hands-on directions on how to do it, boy on boy. You up for that?"

"What, some kids? What's the pay, a ramen noodle bento?" Cloud snickered.

Ray guffawed laughter into the phone, then said, "Naw … one of 'em is a rich kid, I'm thinkin'. Looks pretty loaded, wearing some ritzy stuff, nice watch. I'm thinkin' he's carrying some serious cash."

"Hmm," Cloud mused. "Anybody else?"

"Not unless you wanna try the ladies, Blondie. They always ask aboutcha, y'know. 'Sir'," Ray was doing his hilarious female imitation, "'Can we choose that cute blond guy?' Cracks me up every time when I tell'em you bat for da other team."

Cloud was laughing too. Ray was a good guy. Cloud didn't mind splitting his take with the ojiisan. "Naw, you know me. No tits, no pussy."

Ray laughed. He thought the word 'pussy' was funny. Every time. It was a guaranteed laugh. "Well, then, you want the kids?"

"Legal?"

"Cloud, you wound me! Hell, yeah, they're legal … well, this whole business ain't exactly legal, y'know … but hey, I digest … they're over da age of consentualness. So, long story short? – Yeah."

"That's all you had to say, Ray, Jesus. Okay. Give me a half-hour to eat and get cleaned up, and then send'em in. Any special requests?" Cloud was already moving towards the small attached bathroom.

"Uh … let's see here …." Cloud imagined Ray checking the sign-in sheet. "Karaoke, no wait. Here it is. Ahem!" He cleared his throat importantly and began reading. Kinda. "We … uh … gay sex, yeah, yeah … couple … hmm … ah, here we go. Well, hell. Nope. Nothin' special."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "Fine. Half hour, then send'em on in. I'll be ready."

XXX

1:30 a.m. Cloud left the bar at closing, having spent the whole night busy. His ass was a bit sore, and his jaw muscles were aching, but boy, had he made a lot of gil! Enough to cover his rent for two months, easy. He grinned. Man – if all his nights were like this, he could quit working at the convenience store. But as of right now, he couldn't. He wanted to get to the point where all he did was regular customers, guaranteed paychecks, so to speak … but he was a long way from making a good living that way.

Speaking of the convenience store … his shift started at 2, so he'd better get going. He didn't work the counter – with his job as a 'host' he didn't want to work a public position – he worked stocking and cleaning. It was okay. He didn't have to worry about handling the cash, or any of the problems that could come along with that … and he could take more frequent breaks. So it was all good. He actually got benefits, too, even though they sucked … but at least it was something. If he ended up in the hospital for whatever reason, he would have something, they wouldn't be able to turn him away. It made him feel better.

He entered the store from the back, using his key, and walked through the back rooms to the front, calling out a greeting to Quinn, the man who was working the midnight shift tonight. Quinn didn't need this job, he was retired from the Midgar Postal Service, but he wanted something to do, and he liked being on the night shift so he could read in between customers. It worked for him.

"Yo, Cloudy … your magazine is here. Came in this afternoon, Miyagi-chan said." He was holding up a thick book, waving it around, grinning.

Cloud gasped. It was in! Finally! "Dude!" Cloud said, and scooted down the aisle to snatch the mag out of Quinn's hand. His favorite manga, finally updated! Tsundere Veterinarian was so good, so funny! It had taken forever for this new issue. "Thanks man!" he said, and happily went back to the back room to put the magazine reverently into his locker. Cloud got a soda from the employee fridge and started unpacking boxes, whistling softly as he looked forward to cracking into the manga when he could take a break. What a great day!

XXX

Midgar

"Hey! C'mon, are you gonna be in there all night?" Zack Fair sounded like he was out of patience. He knocked on the bathroom door again, a little louder and longer this time. "Sephiroth! C'mon, man, we gotta go if we're going to go at all ..."

Seph's voice came from behind the door. "You go on ahead. I don't wanna go anymore."

"What?! Dude … man, no, Seph, it's going to be just fine. Here, open the door and let me take a look. Okay? Come on. Open for Zacky …." His tone had changed from exasperated to wheedling. Zack Fair, SOLDIER Second, tall and muscular, with his long black hair spiked back from his face and pretty blue eyes, was dressed up and ready for a night on the town. And Sephiroth was coming with him this time, dammit, if he had to drag the other man with him. "Just open the door, what's the harm in that? Okay? Sephiroth?"

The door opened. The General of the ShinRa Armies stood in the open doorway, staring at Zack through his glasses, frowning. Could he have found a less-sexy pair, even if he'd looked for them? Zack didn't think so. Black, thick-rimmed, square lenses – horrid, simply horrid. He was wearing a scary sweater-vest over a white button-down shirt and a pair of cords.

The hair? All that long glorious white hair? It was pulled back from his face in a ponytail that he'd kinda bunched up on itself to form a sort-of sloppy half-bun. Zack looked him up and down. "What happened to the clothes I picked out, Seph?"

"They aren't comfortable."

"That's not our goal tonight, right? We're looking for girls, so comfort is taking a back seat to 'sexy', right? Wasn't that the plan?" Zack was sounding exasperated again. He watched Sephiroth walk past him toward the living room.

"The jeans were too tight. They made my scrotum hurt. And the shirt was missing some buttons. Did you pay money for that piece of shit? It showed my belly button, almost. It was … indecent." Sephiroth sounded wounded, affronted. He went on into the kitchen with his nose in the air.

"Seph," Zack said as he followed his friend and commanding officer. "Man … I don't get you. Where is that sexy god from the recruitment posters? Where is that guy? Because I swear to Odin, I think you have a secret twin!"

"Pfft," Sephiroth chuffed, indifferently. He didn't bother to answer, they'd discussed this issue before. He got a bottle of oolong tea from the fridge and cracked it open.

"Seriously! Here you are, worried about your fucking belly-button showing, when in uniform your whole damn chest is out practically sticking out. You're wearing leather everything, straps all over the place, your package is –" Zack bit that off when Seph glared at him over the bottle of tea. "Sorry, sorry." He changed tactics. "Why did you take out your contacts?"

Sephiroth swallowed tea before he answered. "They were bothering me."

"All in the name of sexiness, Seph! Damn … you know, this is a chance for us to meet some pretty girls. Some girls from outside the company. Don't you wanna do that?"

"I suppose." Sephiroth didn't sound very interested, or excited, or anything.

"Then what did we say about the glasses." Zack crossed his arms over his chest, practically tapping one foot on the parquet floor.

Seph sighed. "We said they had to stay home."

"Right. So?"

"So I'll stay home with them. You go on ahead—"

"No! Seph, no, man. You … what are you gonna do here then? Look, it's just a goukon, we don't have to stay if you don't like any of the girls." Zack was definitely exasperated now, but that didn't mean he missed the flick of Sephiroth's eyes when he'd asked what the tall man was going to do instead of going out. "What … wait. Did you? You didn't." He walked over to Sephiroth and looked at the counter, behind the toaster oven. "What. Is. That." He gestured toward the little counter-top oven imperiously, with his chin.

"Nothing." Seph reached behind the oven and snatched out the book before Zack could grab it.

"No. No, Seph! I thought we agreed, no more of that shit for a while, all right? You agreed!"

"I don't recall actually agreeing to that." Sephiroth was clutching the book to his chest. His eyes widened as Zack held out his hand, the red glow enveloping his fingers giving proof to the fact that he was preparing to cast fire.

"Put that down, I'm gonna torch it," he growled.

"Don't you dare!" Sephiroth yelled. He hurriedly pushed the book down into the front of his ugly brown, distressingly baggy corduroys. "If you torch it, you'll fry my genitals!"

"What?" Zack was fighting laughter, but he was still mad.

"My … my man-parts!"

"Man-parts?! Seph, say it. Come on, just say it … your peter. I'll fry your peter and your balls!" Zack's hand was still glowing, but he wasn't going to cast fire unless that book was out of his friend's pants. He wasn't that mean.

"Don't say p-peter! And don't say balls!" He was blushing fiercely now.

"Why not?!"

"It … it's crass!"

"Say it, Seph! Say peter! Dick! Prick! Cock! Twig and berries! C'mon, just say it, say something to give me faith in your manhood again!" He finally couldn't help it, Zack collapsed onto the kitchen floor, holding his tummy as he howled laughter. "Man-parts! Oh my gods … 'you'll fry my genitals' … fuck!"

Sephiroth, past all point of embarrassment, stalked past his convulsing friend and left the kitchen, stomping into the living room and flinging himself onto the couch, still cradling the book in his arms. He sat there, steaming, listening as Zack finally wound down and realized he was alone. He came into the living room, wiping tears off his cheeks.

"Okay." He giggled once or twice when he looked at Seph's rigid figure, but quickly sobered up. "Okay, listen." He thought hard as he crossed the expensive oriental rug and sat down next to his friend on the soft couch. "Let's make a deal. All right?"

Sephiroth was unconvinced. "What kind of deal?" he asked warily, his face stony.

"If you get changed and come with me to the goukon, I'll forget I saw that stupid book." Zack smiled, his white teeth brilliant in the soft lighting.

Sephiroth was silent. It was an attractive deal, on the surface. But, "We can leave if I don't like the girls?"

"Right. BUT – you have to give them a real chance this time, Seph. Not like that one time." Zack's face was stern again. He was recalling the time they'd gone to a bar and Sephiroth had acted like he was on an episode of 'What Not to Wear', tearing the girls apart before they even finished one drink, for Shiva's sake. Sephiroth – the undisputed king of undesirable clothing! That hideous sweater-vest he was wearing tonight, for example. It looked like an old chocobo blanket.

Sephiroth was thinking it over. Zack could practically hear the wheels turning in the man's head: if I go, I'll spend a few hours being bored, and then I can come home and be alone with my book. Zack smiled. He knew Sephiroth. The fact that he hadn't refused the deal yet was a good sign. A very good sign.

"All right. But do I have to wear that shirt?"

"Go put the fucking shirt on! And take your hair out of that … whatever it is. It's emasculating! Go!"

Sephiroth got up, taking the book with him, and disappeared into the bathroom. Zack sighed. Why did he bother? Why did he go through this, week after week? He considered it. Because he knew how cool Seph really was. When he was in his uniform and leading a squad – or a battalion! – of men, he was the idol of every guy who saw him. Strong, fierce, proud and unyieldingly honorable … he was a man among men. The General of the ShinRa Armies. Amazing. Fearless. Girls practically came in their panties when he walked by.

But as Sephiroth had told him more than once – that wasn't the real him. It was his work-persona, it was like an attitude that came with the uniform. He was working. Zack shook his head, wondering what else Sephiroth was keeping hidden behind those glasses. Next thing he knew, Seph would pop off and tell him he was gay or something. Zack laughed out loud at the thought. Yeah, right. The General of the ShinRa Armies, a nancy-boy. Riiiight. No way. Yeah, he was a total nerd, more like an otaku! – but he was straight as an arrow. Zack would bet his man-parts on that. He snickered again. Man-parts. He couldn't wait to tell Reno that one.

The bathroom door opened. "Contacts!" Zack yelled, and the door slammed shut again.

Finally, the bathroom door opened again. Zack was leaning against the wall outside the door, arms crossed across his chest. He looked Sephiroth up and down. He whistled softly. "Now … that's more like it," he said, grinning.

White hair flowed down Sephiroth's back, like a river of burnished silver, gleaming in the bathroom lights. The shirt, a soft silver-gray button-down, parted at the chest to reveal Sephiroth's muscular pectorals crowding his sternum. It did not go down to his navel, that was an exaggeration. The pants, white jeans that hung low on his hips, really did crowd up his man-parts, making an impressive bulge at his crotch. The loafers … the loafers?! "Take those off," Zack said. Seph sighed, a frown crinkling his forehead. His green eyes followed Zack as he disappeared into the bedroom … coming back out with a pair of black, white, and gray checkered Vans.

"These still have the tags on them!" he complained, ripping them off with his teeth and handing them over. Sephiroth put them on. "Tuck in the shirt," he ordered. "And put on the belt."

"Yes, master," Sephiroth snarled with vicious sarcasm.

"Come on, man … it's just a goukon. And you look really good now. So cheer up. We'll have some drinks, some conversation, and maybe we'll meet a couple of nice, pretty, sexy Midgar girls who will put out." He grinned at the look on Seph's face. "Not tonight! I know how weird you are about stuff like that."

"It's not weird. It's honorable."

"Yeah, yeah. I bet if a pretty girl rubbed her tits on ya and then pulled you into the bathroom to suck –" Zack stopped himself mid-sentence. Sephiroth didn't look as though that was a best-case scenario. In fact, he looked pissed. "Sorry, man. Really. I forgot who I was talkin' to." He patted Seph's shoulder, grinning in a friendly way.

"Save that crap for Reno," Sephiroth said.

"I know, I know. Don't worry. Nothing will happen that you don't want to happen. Okay? Just relax. And have a good time. All right?"

"I'll try."

"Good! Then, c'mon, man! Let's go!"

XXX

Sephiroth was miserable. What in the world ever possessed him to do this. He was trapped in a booth, sandwiched between two women who … yes, Zack was right … seemed to press their breasts against him at every available opportunity. The pants were making him lose all feeling below the waist. His hair kept getting caught under his or one of the women's backsides, pulling more times than he could count. The music was too loud, the drinks were too bitter, the voices were too strident, he was too hot, and he wanted to be home with the Tsundere Veterinarian, goddammit!

For what seemed like the thousandth time, he reached up to push his glasses up, then corrected the movement and reached for his glass instead. He took a long drink, wiped his upper lip on his forearm, and sat the glass back down.

"General …" the girl on his left was trying to get his attention. What was her name again? Oh, yeah. Nini. He'd almost sputtered rude laughter when she'd first told him. Ninny. Too right. But now that he'd thought it, he couldn't unthink it. He'd have to be careful and not let it slip.

"Yes, Nini-san?" he said, turning towards her courteously.

She blushed under his cool green gaze. "I'm so pleased to finally meet you," she gushed. "My friends and I all watch the news every night, hoping to see you." She dissolved into giggles, holding up a hand in front of her mouth.

What was she, six? Sephiroth maintained his demeanor with effort. "Thank you. That's … very complimentary." He took another slug of his drink, looking across the table at a grinning Zack and shooting daggers at him with his eyes. I could kill you right now, quite effortlessly, that look said. Zack pulled down his left eyelid and stuck his tongue out in the timeless gesture.

"We were wondering …" giggle-giggle, "… what you like to do when you're not working?"

Zack suddenly sat up straight. He'd coached Sephiroth on this. Don't tell her the truth, he thought, trying to telepathically send the thought into Seph's head. Don't do it. Tell her what we agreed on.

"Well," Sephiroth said lazily, glancing at Zack and noting his discomfort with secret glee. "I like to drink. A lot. Cost of war, you know. And I practice my magic, destroying stuff … killing small animals and bothersome children. I eat sugar by the bag-full, with my fingers. I terrorize priests and mimes … and steal women's underwear when they hang them out on the line. But my all-time favorite thing to do …" he was enjoying this. The stunned look on Nini's face, the way Zack had spewed his drink at the part about killing bothersome children. "My absolutely favorite thing to do … is …" the whole table was now hanging on his words. This was priceless! " … I like to make little outfits for my man-parts and play dress-up for hours, 'til it can't stand up anymore."

Complete silence around the table. Sephiroth finished his drink, swallowed, then spit an ice cube back into his glass, before breaking into a huge cheeky grin. Reno lost it. He fell off his chair, laughing, screeching "man-parts! Man-parts!" Zack was holding his sides, laughing so hard tears were streaming down his cheeks. The rest of the men at the table were also laughing, the girls were giggling, and Nini smacked him playfully on the arm, her cheeks aflame, pretending he'd been a bad boy and had hurt her feelings.

Sephiroth, bored to tears and wishing like hell this night was over, merely smiled and tried not to look at the clock.

XXX

When he got home – ALONE, thank you very much! – he barely had the door shut and locked before he tore the shirt off his back and unzipped the goddamned tight-ass jeans. Breathing a sigh of relief as the blood-flow was restored, he stripped the jeans off and tossed them after the shirt. "Oughta put those fucking things in the trash," he muttered, disgusted. He walked, naked, into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of oolong tea out of the fridge, and slugged down half of it in two huge gulps. He didn't know the name of half the fucked-up concoctions he'd poured down his throat at the bar, but none of them were as good as regular ol' oolong tea.

Carrying the bottle, he walked slightly unsteadily down the hall to his bedroom and grabbed his ratty but comfortable robe off the hook on the back of the closet door. Ahh. Better. He belted it tight, went into the bathroom and urinated, took out his contacts, then hustled into the living room, turning on the PC that stood on a desk that faced the huge bank of windows that covered one wall. He turned it on, waited while it powered up, then opened up his browser.

Navigating quickly from long habit, he scanned the lists of the Tsundere Veterinarian chatroom until he found a very familiar name. His own nickname, "Whitey", had popped onto the list when he logged in. "Nimble" was already there.

Hey Nimble … he typed quickly. Did you get it? :D

Nimble: Well, shit yes! What do you think I am? :P

Whitey: Me, too! I haven't been able to read it yet, though …

Nimble: I'm on Chapter 3. XD

Whitey: Don't tell me anything!

Nimble: Like I would do that! What do you take me for, man!

Whitey: Is it good?

Nimble: Good like the last day of school is good. Good like rocky road ice cream is good. Good like—

Whitey: I get it, I get it! Lol

Nimble: Hey, get this! You remember where I live right? ;)

Whitey: Yeah. Whassup?

Nimble: M. Kitano is going to be doing a book signing in MY TOWN! Is that fucking awesome or WHAT?!

Whitey: *speechless* (M. Kitano was the author of the most fantastic manga series ever written: Tsundere Veterinarian!)

Nimble: Dude I am so going. Two nights! And they're going to have displays and all kinds of merchandise … I'm so psyched!

Whitey: I wanna go.

Nimble: You should. I think it's the last signing this year. That's what the website says anyway.

Whitey: I'm goin'. I'll work it out. I have vacation saved up!

Nimble: Cool! Maybe I'll see ya there.

Sephiroth frowned at the screen. Shit. Oh, well, this was all anonymous, so no matter. He typed, You never know, right? When is it?

Nimble: Three weeks! Three short weeks! Mark your calendar!

Whitey: Will do. There. Done. Lol

Nimble: lol

There was a pause, then Nimble said, Shit, I gotta go. Work work work. Have a good night … see if you can catch up to me while I'm workin'! :P

Whitey: I'm going to go read it now. See ya tomorrow?

Nimble: Prolly. I'll look for ya. Enjoy! Later!

And Nimble signed off. Sephiroth signed off, too, getting up and retrieving his copy of Tsundere Veterinarian before settling down on the couch, glasses in place, oolong tea within reach. Now this was his idea of a good evening! Of FUN. Zack was an idiot. He was chuckling within seconds of beginning the read. What a great manga. He had to go meet the author. No matter what!

XXX

Costa Del Sol

Cloud, known in certain circles as "Nimble", pushed the broom along the sidewalk outside the convenience store. When he'd found out about the Tsundere Veterinarian author coming to Costa Del Sol, he'd been ecstatic. What a break! What if he'd still been living in Nibelheim!? Thank the gods, no. They really did work in mysterious ways, he thought, grinning.

He'd immediately written out his request for two days off from his convenience store job. It would be approved, he hadn't used any days yet and had a few built up. Awesome, awesome! Ray wouldn't care one way or the other, although he might still turn a couple tricks during the hours the displays and all would be closed … for the extra money, to spend on Tsundere Veterinarian figures and memorabilia! Yes! He was saving his money starting NOW. Man, oh man, he couldn't wait.

His thoughts turned to Whitey. He had no idea who the guy was – in fact all that he knew was that he was a guy, and he lived on the other continent (time change), and he was another rabid fan like Cloud. It would be cool to meet him. It would be nice to go to a coffee shop, or the book store with the coffee shop in it, and sit with another fan, to drink coffee until they chased them out, talking about the book, the story, the characters … everything that made Tsundere Veterinarian great. Hopefully, it would happen. Ya never knew.

Cloud danced with the broom, dipping it a couple times, singing an homage to his favorite manga that he just now made up in his head. Within minutes, Quinn stuck his head out the door. "Cloud!" he hissed.

Cloud stopped dancing and singing, staring towards the door. "What?"

"Man, it's 3 a.m., do you realize that?" He looked like he was trying not to laugh.

"Oh yeah." Chuckle. "Sorry." Sheepishly.

"Don't tell me sorry, tell old Mrs. Burnside across the street … she just called and said if you don't cut it out, her next call will be the police." He raised his eyebrows, then went back inside.

Cloud looked across the street where a curtain was pulled away from an upstairs window. He pressed his hands together and made an exaggerated bow, then another, and another. Sorry sorry sorry, Mrs. Burnside, the last thing I need is police problems. The curtain switched back into place. Cloud went back inside, putting the broom to work on the store floors, glancing up occasionally to see if the cops were coming. But apparently he'd appeased the woman, because they never did show up. Well, Officer Donut showed up at 5 a.m. like usual, but nobody else, nobody in response to a Disturbing the Peace call.

His shift finally over at 8 a.m., Cloud rescued his manga book and carefully carried it home to his small LDK apartment. He read until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, then fell asleep with the book cradled on his stomach. He didn't dream, that he was aware of. But he had a little smile on his face.

XXX

Midgar

Zack Fair stomped into Sephiroth's office, glowering. He flopped onto the chair that faced the desk, frowning out the window, arms crossed on his chest.

Sephiroth looked up at him, pushed back slightly from his desk, and crossed his legs, lacing his fingers over his stomach. "Mornin', Zack."

"Hmph," Zack snorted.

"Something … wrong?" Seph's right eyebrow arched slightly.

"How many phone numbers did you get last night?" he growled, still not looking away from the window.

"I don't know." Sephiroth, now losing interest in the conversation since it was about something stupid, leaned over his desk again, focusing on the computer monitor.

"Whattayamean you don't know. How many, dammit?" NOW he looked. Zack's eyes were bloodshot.

"I threw them all away in a trash can before the taxi picked me up. So … I. Don't. Know."

"You sit there, frowning, ignoring the girls unless they spoke directly to you, you never danced, your conversation was stagnant – well, except for that one time, but forget about that! And you … you get all the phone numbers." Zack huffed out a breath. Then he leaned forward, earnestly. "Seph … how, man? What, were your fingers busy under the table?"

Sephiroth threw him a disgusted glance.

"Never mind. Just tell me. Okay? Come on. Please?" Pleadingly.

"You never paid attention in the sociology or psychology classes, did you." Sephiroth looked calmly at his friend.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'll tell you. It's simple. You act like a puppy."

"Huh?"

"You heard me. You act like a puppy. The women think they're cute and cuddly, aww, look, isn't he adorable? But they don't take them home." Sephiroth turned back to his computer.

"So I'm a puppy."

"That's what I said."

"Yeah? And what does that make you?"

Sephiroth looked up at Zack, spearing him with a vibrant green gaze. "Me? That's easy, too, Zack. I'm a wolf." He went back to his work.

Zack got up. He turned around and walked to the door. At the door he turned and saw Sephiroth smiling, eyes still on the screen. "I hate you," Zack said.

Sephiroth chuckled.

"Hate you, hate you, hate you."

Sephiroth began to laugh. Merrily.

"Asshole!" Zack yanked the door open and stepped through it, flipped Sephiroth the bird, and slammed it closed.

XXX

End Chapter 1

Thank you for reading. Will update soon!

Ahvienda