New month, new story. I also have an idea for a little 2-shot (is that even a thing?) for you Homestuck fans that I want to write in its entirety for Valentine's. Whether that happens or more of this story and Unconditional is a toss-up.

Kankri was actually going to be a major character in this story, but after I got halfway through his first sentence, I realized I can't write Kankri for shit x.x Maybe he'll come back later.

I don't own Homestuck. I was really hoping for a better reunion between Nepeta and Equius.

"Fuck! Is this really necessary?" Karkat snarled, attempting to brush the ash off of his clothes as he slipped and fell yet again.

It was a sorry sight in this dream bubble. As cliché as it sounded, 'desolate wasteland' was the only way anyone knew how to describe it. It was obvious that Lord English had come through already, wiping out anything or anyone that had existed here. The cracks in reality itself could be seen criss-crossing across the black void outside of the bubble, adding an element of danger to the already depressing scene.

"Quit whining, Vantas. You were the one who wanted to put Meenah's army plan on hold until we found that other cherub-girl," Dave replied, biting back a comment about how that ash probably used to be a person. That was one can of angry fuckass he didn't want to open at the moment. Besides, it seemed sort of disrespectful to the ghosts that had been exterminated.

"All I said was that it would be easier to get recruits once we had proof that there was someone who actually stood a chance against that freak. I did not suggest we organize a group scavenger hunt to find her!"

"Now, Karkat, I think that you need to watch your language more carefully, as your implication that this cherub is an object and not a thinking feeling being, as evidenced by the use of 'scavenger hunt' which in this case is a trigger-"

Karkat rushed up to the troll and slapped a hand over Kankri's mouth. "For the love of Gog shut up! Who invited him anyway?" he snapped at the group, keeping his hand over Kankri's mouth even as the Seer tried to continue his speech.

Rose and Kanaya exchanged glances, and Dave kept silent as well. Meenah glared at Aranea, who simply shrugged her shoulders. Terezi giggled before stepping forward and claiming responsibility. "Come on, Karkles, be nice."

"You! Of course it was fucking you! You just like irritating me, don't you?" he snapped. This was just the latest assumption that Terezi was specifically trying to make Karkat miserable. It was pretty obvious to everyone present that he was still sore over the fact that Terezi and Dave had a flushed relationship.

Terezi snorted. "Don't be so melodramatic, Karkat. I just like the way his sweater smells. It's almost as tasty as Dave's hoodie."

Dave was really not flattered. Quite frankly, he could have done without the other Cancer as well. Karkat might be difficult to deal with, but Kankri was just too much even for a badass Strider. It pissed him off to think that his girlfriend was the reason he had to put up with this bullshit.

"Of course the blind girl like the way his sweater smells. Why don't you keep your nose to yourself for once?" Karkat grumbled, accidentally letting go of Kankri when he went to pull his hair in aggravation.

Kankri took a rather large inhale before continuing. "I see. Now not only do we have to talk about your objectification of others, but your lack of consideration for your sight privilege and-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

The perpetually angry Cancer lunged at the other more arrogant Cancer, and probably would have landed more than one punch if Dave hadn't used his power over Time to restrain the angry troll. Though, he waited until Karkat had managed to land one good blow before intervening.

The inhabitants of the meteor had actually joined Aranea's search three weeks prior, since there was nothing else they could do until they arrived in the new session. Meenah had joined after Karkat's argument that finding the other cherub would inspire more people to fight. (Aranea, Kanaya, and Rose were convinced it was actually because Meenah was flushed for Karkat, but they didn't dare say anything, and Meenah never admitted to it.) And apparently Kankri had joined at Terezi's prompting.

It had been alright at first, but as time went by tensions started to run high. Dave blamed Karkat for most of it. Ever since the Strider and Pyrope had started dating Vantas refused to be in the same room when the couple was present. Eventually he started avoiding one-on-one encounters as well. Which meant that he had stored up a whole bunch of angry rantings over the past few weeks and was unleashing them at the slightest provocation.

Kankri's presence was not helping either. While Karkat had initially been very docile around his pre-scratch self, the longer they were together the more easily Kankri triggered Karkat. Actually, Kankri had done a pretty good job of triggering everyone at least once.

Despite getting into several arguments with the now rubbing-his-cheek Vantas, Dave normally wouldn't have let anyone actually hit the troll (or anyone else present) in a fit of anger. This time though, he thought it was for the best that Karkat got in at least one blow. It might be enough to get the point across to Kankri for a few minutes, and Karkat might ease up once he realized fighting wasn't going to fix things.

Dave unfroze Karkat, who let a rather creative string of cusses fall from his lips, first directed at Kankri, then at Dave when he realized Kankri had somehow moved away from him in a split second.

"Strider, if you ever use your fucking god-tier powers on me again-" he trailed off, unable to come up with a proper threat.

Dave was just about to call his bluff when Meenah stepped forward. "Much as I love watching you all fight each other, I think we actually better start getting somefin constructive done."

"Meenah's right. We need to pull ourselves together and find that cherub if we want our existences to continue." Aranea added, trying to calm Karkat down through the promise of self-preservation.

It seemed to work, if the lack of angry blustering was any indication. Dave could still feel the aggravation bubbling just beneath the Cancer's now resigned face, though.

"So, which way should we head now?" Kanaya asked, glancing between Terezi and Rose. As Seers (who weren't Kankri) they had the best chance of pointing the group in the right direction in a non-triggering manner.

"I think we should keep heading east," Rose spoke first, hoping Terezi would agree so that they could continue their search before one of the Cancers started up again.

Rose got her wish after Terezi finished giggling for no apparent reason. "I agree with Ms. Orange Sorbet. Something in that direction smells particularly tantalizing. Like orange-apple blast."

"Is that even a thing?" Aranea asked. Everyone not Terezi just shrugged while Terezi herself took the lead.

The land wasn't completely flat on the far edges of the bubble. The earth raised into mounds just slightly taller than Dave (who was the tallest of the group, much to Karkat's chagrin). It was relatively quiet as they trekked up and down the hills, with only occasional grumbles from Karkat and "Somefin smells fishy if ya ask me," from Meenah.

All good things must come to an end, however. Kankri had been uncharacteristically silent after being uncharacteristically punched by his dancestor. After all, Meenah and the Beforus trolls usually took to ignoring him instead of physically assaulting him. (Meenah, after seeing Karkat in action, was strongly reconsidering the strategy for future encounters.) Dave had to wonder if the troll was physically capable of staying quiet for long stretches. "Terezi, as much as I respect your-"

"Get to the point!" Karkat hissed before the other Cancer could say something involving ableist privileges or slurs or whatever the fuck Kankri was always going on about.

Terezi elbowed her might-have-been Matesprit in the ribs. "He was talking to me, Karkles. Go ahead, Kankri." She urged, ignoring the cussing coming from Karkat's hunched form.

Kankri had a little more trouble ignoring the other troll, however, and showed some restraint. "I really don't think we're going the right way. Not that this is any fault of your own-"

"Okay, I'm going to have to stop you right there," Dave said, holding up his hand. Kankri fell silent, looking nervously between the man who had let him get punched earlier and the troll who punched him.

But then he hardened his resolve. "Perhaps I should take my leave and search for the cherub elsewhere. Clearly you all are unable to handle the burden of recognizing the privileges you have as well as the ones you lack and are possessed by others, and attempt to compensate…"

The only reason Karkat remained silent and allowed the troll to lecture was because of the chance that he really would leave the group. Meenah stayed silent for similar reasons, though everyone else was held back more out of politeness.

Upon finishing his little (by his standards) spiel, Kankri simply walked away, vanishing into another dream bubble. "Da-yamn, it's so nice and quiet," Meenah commented with a rather toothy smile.

"As much as I agree it's nice to have a little peace, I can't help but feel guilty," Kanaya responded.

"You don't honestly think we hurt his feelings?" Dave asked, adding a little extra sarcasm for good measure.

"I sincerely doubt that," Kanaya agreed. "And if we did I can't say I would mind if it deflated his ego a bit." At this Meenah snickered while Rose looked fairly impressed. "But the whole reason we agreed to go as a group was because it would be easier to avoid accidentally running into Lord English, and to be better able to surmount any other obstacles we might come across."

"You worry too much. Somefin tells me that with our luck he'll be perfectly fine and happy as a clam by the time we get back."

"As much as I agree with you, Meenah, I think it would be best if we at least made sure he didn't wander off into one of the bubbles we said were likely to be attacked next," Aranea suggested.

Meenah narrowed her pupil-less eyes in suspicion. "What do you mean 'we'?" she asked.

"You and me, of course."

Meenah groaned. "Do I hafta?" she whined, clearly no pleased at the prospect of dealing with an emotionally agitated Seer of Blood.

Aranea frowned at her friend's reluctance to comply, but then smiled as an idea formed in her mind. "Yes, Meenah. You might have run away from your duties as Empress but you are the leader of the Beforus Sgrub players. It is your responsibility to make sure we continue our existence. After all, you did an excellent job when you killed us all just before the scratch took place. Do you want to see all of your effort go to waste by letting the alpha-Kankri's ghost get annihilated by that vicious cherub?"

The Pieces puffed out her cheeks like a puffer-fish. "No fair. How am I supposed to argue with that? I thought I would be off the hook when we finally died. But I guess you're right. You would all be lost at sea without me. C'mon, let's go find Vantas. The rest of you," she looked at the younger trolls and humans, "keep looking for the cherub-girl. I don't want to waste any more time. We'll catch up with you later."

And with that the other two ghosts disappeared, leaving behind the five meteor inhabitants. "Fuck. What was even the point of teaming up to find the cherub if we were going to end up separating anyway? I told you we should have split into smaller teams in the first place." Karkat ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.

"Well, you got your wish for the time being. Now come on. That delicious smell is getting closer," Terezi urged. She really wanted a lick of whatever it was. The scent was faint, meaning that there was only a small quantity of whatever it was, but it was still absolutely irresistible. It reminded her of the first time she smelled Karkat's blood, only much, much sweeter. The orange was quite familiar as well. She could almost swear that she had very thoroughly sniffed that particular object before, but for whatever reason she distinctly remembered it as being purple scented the last time. Weird.

"Is it now? We've been walking for hours and I haven't seen shit," Karkat grumbled.

Terezi grinned manically in return and let out a cackle. "Oh, Karkat. I told you the scent is getting closer. As in it is moving in this direction. It just so happens that every time we were on top of a hill the sources of those wonderful scents were hidden behind another hill."

"My, my, wouldn't that be convenient? These hills are the perfect place to hide the delicious whatever the fuck, and as such are the perfect excuse to drag us on a wild feather-beast chase all over creation!" Karkat threw his hands up. "But please, lead the way. Your nose is clearly more reliable than everyone's eyes, so it shouldn't be any problem for you to track down this elusive stink!"

Dave, underneath his signature pokerface, was getting more and more disappointed by the second. "Your insults are about as off as nightlight!Kanaya when she isn't glowing." Kanaya and Rose both tried to interject, but Dave just continued. "Seriously, those burns were so weak my teeth are chattering over here. What's gotten into you lately?"

This probably wasn't the time or place to have this discussion, but Dave was seriously tired of not being able to hold a proper argument with the troll anymore. Karkat, though clearly an amateur in comparison to Dave, was the best of the group at hurling insults. Without Egbert to harass Dave needed a good verbal sparring partner to keep his wit sharp. The Strider seriously hoped the lack of effort to be clever wasn't due to the fact that Terezi now had a not-Karkat boyfriend.

"It's hardly a surprise if you actually paid attention."

Everyone but Terezi shifted into a defensive stance, turning toward the source of the voice, which seemed to be hidden behind a hill. Terezi laughed, dissipating some of the tension. "Oh, so that's why the orange reminded me of grapes! But what's the red?"

Her friends spared her a quick glance, their individual gazes on the spectrum between confusion and 'what the hell is wrong with you?' They ignored her once again as they heard footsteps coming around the side of the mound. When the two individuals came into view, though, even Terezi seemed shocked.

Dirk surveyed the group nonchalantly, slowly turning his head from left to right and back again, though no one could be sure that was the path his eyes were following. Meanwhile, a surprisingly pink-cheeked ghost Karkat flicked his gaze around a little more frantically, as though he was waiting for one of them to move from their positions and follow through with their attack.

"'Sup, bro?"