Pinkie Pie: Hiya, everypony! DiscordantPrincess has a new story for you guys to read! Isn't this exciting? Are you guys excited, 'cause I'm excited! This is so exciting!

OK, Pinkie, thank you for the nice intro, but you need to calm down a little, OK?

Pinkie: Okey dokey Loki!

Good girl. (hugs her) Here we have another story that ties into the series that I'm calling "Ratti in Ponyville," combining everyone's favorite rodent criminal mastermind with the ponies we all know and love. Dedicated to FairyTales And Pixie Dust. Hope you all enjoy!

It was a lovely fall day in the town of Ponyville. At Ponyville Community College, Professor Padraic Ratigan, a gray earth pony with a neatly-trimmed black mane and tail, gold eyes and a cutie mark of a pi symbol walked to his first class of the day. On his back he carried a saddle bag containing various teaching supplies.

As he walked down the hall, the professor talked to himself. "My first day teaching at Ponyville Community College...it's certainly not Canterlot University, but it'll be a grand experience. These young ponies need somepony like me to teach them. After all, not to pat myself TOO much on the back, but it's not EVERYpony who is asked to be the mathematics tutor to Princess Celestia's most prized pupil. Oh, but what if they don't like me? Oh, calm yourself, Ratigan, you're here to teach ponies, not to be their best buddy. But still, I'm so nervous! Just keep calm, and you'll do fine."

Once he got to the classroom, Ratigan went straight to the chalkboard and picked up a piece of chalk in his hoof, writing his name on the board. "Good morning, class, and welcome to advanced algebra I. I am Professor Ratigan, and I'll be your instructor for the semester."

"Hi, Paddy!" a voice from the back called. Ratigan dropped the chalk and turned to see the mare who had called to him; a pink earth pony with a dark pink mane and tail, light blue eyes and a cutie mark of three balloons.

"Oh my gosh, this is so exciting!" Pinkie cheered, coming up to the stunned professor. "I had no idea that you'd be teaching the class! This is so totally awesome! One of my pals is the professor!" She turned to a pony in the front row. "This guy right here is one of my best pals, and he's the professor! Isn't that just CRAZY?"

"Pinkie Pie, what are you doing here?" Ratigan asked.

"Gee, I don't know," Pinkie answered, putting her hoof to her chin. "But really, does ANYpony know what we're doing here? I mean, why was ponykind lucky enough to be created and brought here to Equestria?"

Ratigan smacked his hoof onto his face in exasperation. "No, I mean what are you doing HERE, in my advanced algebra class?"

"Oh! I'm taking the class, silly!"

Ratigan eyed the pink pony in disbelief. "YOU'RE taking advanced algebra I."

"Uh-huh! Just check your roster thingie if you don't believe me!"

"All right." Ratigan took out his student roster and checked the list of ponies who was taking the class. His eyes widened as he read the name "Pinkie Pie." "My word, you ARE on the roster!"

"DUH!"

"But...YOU? I mean, no offense, Pinkie dear, but you don't seem to be the most...LEARNED of ponies. How do you qualify to be in advanced algebra?"

"Oh, I've been into math every since I was an itty-bitty widdle inky twinky Pinkie Pie," Pinkie replied. "It's been one of my bestest subjects in school for, like, a bajillion years!"

Ratigan rolled his eyes. "I take it English was never your strong suit, though. All right, Pinkie, if you truly are an advanced level mathematics student, you wouldn't mind answering some questions for me, now would you?"

"Okey dokey Loki!"

"What is the square root of two hundred and fifty-six?"

"Sixteen!"

"What is negative twenty-five times negative fifteen?"

"Positive three hundred and seventy-five!"

"What is the formula for calculating the area of a triangle?"

"One-half of the base times the height!"

Ratigan glared at the pink pony. "Very well, Pinkie, you've gotten all of those questions right, but here's your REAL test!" He picked the chalk back up and went to the board. He wrote down a long, complicated equation, then set the chalk down and smiled smugly. "Solve this equation."

"Okey dokey Loki!" Pinkie took the chalk and went up to the board. She looked at the equation for a minute, humming as she thought. Then, she smiled. She began to write. After a bit, she put the chalk down. "Well? How'd I do?"

Ratigan's jaw dropped as he looked at the board. He was too stunned to speak. "Hellooooooo, Paddy!" Pinkie spoke up, waving her hoof in his face. "How'd I do?"

"Wha...but...I...gah...you..."

"Did I get the answer right, or not?" Pinkie asked. Ratigan could only nod his head. "Yay! See, I told you I could get it!"

"Um, class, why don't you spend the rest of the period doing free activity stuff?" Ratigan suggested. "I need to sit down for a moment." He sat in the desk chair.

"Well, I don't know about everypony else, but I'M going the cafeteria for a snack," Pinkie spoke up. "Wanna join me, Paddy? How 'bout some PI? Get it? Pi? 'Cause it's a dessert AND a math thing, plus it's your cutie mark!" She burst out laughing.

Later that day, Pinkie carried a still-shocked Ratigan back to his house. Along the way, they ran into Rainbow Dash, a light blue pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, magenta eyes and a cutie mark of a cloud with a tri-colored lightning bolt. "Hi, Dashie!"

"Hey, Pinkie Pie," Rainbow greeted the pink mare. Then, she noticed the gray stallion on her back. "What's up with Professor Egghead?"

"Dunno, I was showin' him my math skills, and he just kinda froze up like that. Hope he's gonna be OK."

And that, Professor, is what is known as having your mind blown.

I was not trying to imply that Ratigan and Pinkie would have a necessarily bad relationship; on the contrary, I think they'd be great friends. I think his rudeness towards her was more because he wasn't expecting someone as hyper and initially ditzy to be great at math...but that's Pinkie for you, her awesomeness and randomness know no bounds!

Hope you guys enjoyed the story! See you soon for more randomness!

All my best, DiscordantPrincess.