Hey, everypony! Guess what...I have a new story for you all!

Fluttershy: (as quietly as possible) Yay! You rock, DiscordantPrincess! Woo hoo!

Thanks, Fluttershy! (huggles the adorable little pegasus)

OK, so this story is dedicated to my good friend FairyTales And Pixie Dust, who gave me the idea. Here you go, sweetie!

Hope you all enjoy!

It was the night of the Grand Galloping Gala. In the great hall, Rarity, a white unicorn with a perfectly coiffed purple mane and tail and blue eyes, wearing a pink gown with gold trim and maroon edging, a maroon coat, a golden crown, gold and maroon diamond earrings and glass slippers, was spending the evening with Prince Blueblood, Princess Celestia's many-times-great-nephew, a handsome white unicorn with a yellow mane and tail and blue eyes, wearing a white tuxedo. He was indeed a beautiful stallion.

However, as Rarity had been learning that entire night, Blueblood's beauty was only on the outside. Inside, he was a snobbish jerk with no regards for anypony except himself. She was getting extremely frustrated with her date, but she stuck in there, hoping that he would show the Prince Charming she had been dreaming of soon.

After holding the door for Blueblood for what felt like the millionth time that evening, Rarity walked into the hall beside him...and screamed as she saw a flying cake coming towards her. Blueblood also screamed, grabbed her and held her in front of him. SPLAT! The cake hit Rarity, getting gooey frosting and cake crumbs all over her.

Rarity stood still for a moment. She had spent the entire evening away from her friends to be with her dream prince, being treated like a servant and a hoofman, praying that he would soon show his charming side to no avail.

And now that royal pain had the gall to use her as a shield so he wouldn't get his precious coat dirty! She turned to face Blueblood, gritting her teeth, her face turning pink, getting ready to give the royal brat a piece of her mind...

"Excuse me, if I may interject," a gentlecolt's voice spoke up. Rarity and Blueblood turned to see a gray earth pony with a neatly-trimmed black mane and tail and gold eyes, wearing a gray vest, a black dinner jacket, a pink and purple striped cravat, a black cape with red inset, black trousers and a black top hat approaching them. Rarity cocked her head to one side. Who was this incredibly handsome stallion? She had never seen him before in her life.

"I have been watching you all evening treating this beautiful young mare like garbage, and for too long I have kept my mouth shut, because I figured that it was none of my business," the mysterious stallion continued. "But THIS!" He pointed to Rarity, now dripping with icing. "Using her for a shield just so you don't get your precious little white coat dirty! Who taught you manners, Attila the Hun?!" Rarity smiled a little as the stranger stood up for her.

"Excuse me, PEASANT, but you were right in saying that this is none of your business," Blueblood retorted, saying the word "peasant" as if it were the Plague. "This is between me and my date."

"Your DATE?" the stranger shot back. "HA! If this is how you treat your date, I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies!" Blueblood began to squirm a little, making Rarity smile even more.

"And for your information, just because you are a prince doesn't mean you get to mistreat everyday ponies like your lovely escort here! Just look at your aunts! They're both practically GODDESSES, and they treat us, the "peasants," as if we were their equals! Compared to them, you are lower than an INSECT, and you STILL think you have the right to treat others with such contempt? You may be a prince, Blueblood, but you're still worthless! And if I had to choose between being a lowly peasant and being an entitled, self-centered, unchivalrous, all-around pathetic prince like you, you can bet your sweet flank that I'd choose peasant any day of the week!"

Everypony in the hall began cheering. They had all dealt with Blueblood in the past, and they all knew what a jerk he was. It was about time somepony stood up to the royal pain.

Blueblood frowned. "You may talk a big game, SIR, but I doubt you'd be able to take me in a round of hooficuffs!"

The stranger smirked. "You're on! Seeing as you are the prince, I'll even let you take the first blow."

Rarity stepped back as the action began. Blueblood swung his right forehoof at the stranger, who ducked out of the way. Then, the stranger punched Blueblood right in the face with his right forehoof, followed by a left to the jaw. Everypony watched in awe as the earth pony pummeled Blueblood until finally, bloodied and bruised, the prince ran out of the room crying. The entire hall cheered.

Rarity went up to her savior, who was now cleaning the blood off of his hooves with a handkerchief. "Excuse me, sir, but I wanted to thank you immensely for standing up for me like that."

"No problem, m'lady," the stranger replied. "I was raised to treat ladies with respect, and watching that cretin treat you so horribly was making me sick to my stomach. I'm only sorry I didn't intervene sooner, before you got your beautiful dress all messy like that."

Rarity shrugged. "It's fine, really. It IS washable." She smiled and batted her eyelashes. "I'm Rarity, by the way."

"Professor Padraic Ratigan, at your service, m'lady," the stallion introduced himself, tipping his hat to her. "Now why don't I treat you to some apple cider? I saw a young mare earlier who had a booth selling apple goods...although I don't think it was doing so well last time I saw."

Rarity giggled. "That's my friend Applejack, the poor dear. She hasn't been having any luck since Soarin' of the Wonderbolts bought one of her pies. I would very much appreciate it if you would support her business, Professor Ratigan, sir."

"Please, Miss Rarity, call me Padraic." With that, Rarity and Ratigan walked together outside to where Applejack's booth was.

A few minutes later, Rarity and Ratigan were sitting together on the terrace, each enjoying a glass of apple cider from Applejack's cart. The orange earth pony had been thrilled when the professor had offered to buy not only the cider, but all the rest of her goods as well.

"That was very kind of you to buy all of Applejack's wares, Padraic," Rarity told her companion. "Not a lot of ponies I know would do such a thing."

"Well, when you told me that she was raising money to support her family, I felt that the decent thing to do would be to support her in any way I could," Ratigan replied. He chuckled as he patted his belly, which had grown slightly rounder after eating many of the sweets he'd bought. "But I have a gut feeling that I'll be eating your friend's treats for quite some time."

Rarity laughed. "Oh, why did I spend the entire evening with that miserable excuse for a prince when I could have been enjoying myself with somepony as handsome and gentlecoltly as you? I feel like such a foal!"

"Oh, don't blame yourself, Rarity, anypony can be easily foaled by a pretty face. I remember when I was in university, I courted this beautiful young filly, Jade. I let her lead me around for half a semester before I learned that she was just using me to get good grades in her classes. Well, after a brief bout of self-pity and a deliberately bad final paper that earned her the lowest mark of the class, we split up."

Rarity smiled. She looked deep into Ratigan's golden eyes, and leaned in for a kiss, as he did the same...

Just then, there was a cry of "There he is, Auntie!" The two ponies turned to see Blueblood, his face cut up and with a black eye, pointing at them. Next to him was Princess Celestia.

"Oh, dear," Ratigan sighed. "I should've known that Prince Whiner would go crying to Auntie Celestia." Rarity frowned, feeling nervous for her companion.

"That's him, Auntie!" Blueblood confirmed, leading the princess up to them. "That's the stallion who did this to me!"

Celestia looked down at Ratigan, who quickly bowed and removed his hat. "Did you beat my nephew up?"

"Yes, Princess, I did," Ratigan admitted. Blueblood grinned haughtily, expecting the professor to be imprisoned, or banished, or even turned to stone.

"Please, Princess Celestia, let me explain," Rarity intervened. "Padraic was only trying to defend me. It's all my fault that he beat up your nephew. If you must punish somepony, punish me." She bowed her head.

"PUNISH you?" Celestia asked. "I came here to THANK you!"

"WHAT?!" Rarity, Ratigan and Blueblood all asked in unison.

"For years I've heard complaints about Blueblood's behavior towards my subjects, but you are the first to actually take action," Celestia explained. "And what's more, you acted to defend somepony else rather than yourself...that takes true kindness, and true chivalry. Well done, Professor."

Ratigan blushed. "Thank you, Princess Celestia."

"But...but Auntie," Blueblood stammered.

"And as for YOU, young colt," Celestia told her nephew. "You owe Rarity an apology for your cruel behavior. Now tell her you're sorry."

Blueblood frowned. "I'm sorry, Miss Rarity."

"That's better. Now march to your room, mister! You're grounded for a month!"

"Whaaaaat? But that's not faaaaaair!" Blueblood whined.

"MARCH, before I send you to the moon!" Celestia ordered. Blueblood obeyed, his head down in defeat. Celestia shook her head. "Honestly, why can't he be more like his cousin Cadance?"

"So you really CAN send ponies to the moon when you want to?" Rarity asked nervously.

"Of COURSE not, I was just using that to scare him." Rarity and Ratigan both sighed in relief. "Well, I'd better get back to spending time with Twilight. Enjoy the rest of your evening, you two." Celestia trotted off, looking for her prized student.

"Now, where were we?" Ratigan asked, making Rarity giggle. The two gazed back into each other's eyes and leaned into one another, their lips touching. Rarity felt her heart flutter. Truly this was the best night ever.

And thus, a new crack pairing is born! And you know what? I LIKE the Rarigan couple...or Ratity, I don't know, which sounds better to you guys?

Yes, Professor Ratigan, the self-proclaimed World's Greatest Criminal Mind, who drowns widows and orphans in his free time, stood up for Rarity AND bought all of Applejack's goodies. In my mind, Ratigan would be raised as a gentleman and react poorly to someone not treating a lady with respect...even evil has standards, you know! Also, is it wrong that I chuckled as I was writing the scene where Ratigan clobbers the snot out of Blueblood? You have no idea how long I've wanted something like that to happen!

And yeah, I made up that Blueblood and Cadance are cousins...they're probably not even related in canon, but whatevs!

Hope you guys enjoyed reading this fic! See you soon for more stories!

All my best, DiscordantPrincess.