(Warnings for: violence, drug references, and there's a scene in a church youth group. None of this is intended to be offensive.)
"BECAUSE we are angry at a society that tells us Girl = Dumb, Girl = Bad, Girl = Weak.
BECAUSE we are unwilling to let our real and valid anger be diffused and/or turned against us via the internalization of sexism as witnessed in girl/girl jealousism and self defeating girltype behaviors.
BECAUSE I believe with my wholeheartmindbody that girls constitute a revolutionary soul force that can, and will change the world for real."
- The Riot Grrrl Manifesto, 1991
Real and Valid Anger
Ryou Bakura had stayed late at school. Not as late as usual, but the janitor was paying special attention to the library ahead of an open day and all the disturbances had made it hard to concentrate on his history project. The majority of teens would have left, at least. Ryou packed his rucksack and resigned himself to the gauntlet run.
Ryou kept his head down so that his long white hair hid his face, trying to be inconspicuous. It never worked. Sooner or later, he'd be noticed – either by the geeks, who recognised a kindred spirit; or the jocks, who would see him as an easy target. It wouldn't work out well for any of them. In the meantime, he did his best to avoid attracting attention. The short walk from the library to the entrance gates and along the road to the bus stop seemed longer and lonelier with every day he spent at the new school.
The path was mercifully quiet. A teacher, toting a heavy bag, made his way to his car. A small gaggle of students hung around at the gate. Ryou would have to pass them to get to the bus stop.
Quickening the squeaky step of his sneakers, Ryou debated whether to cross the road and cross back when the bus came, or simply to walk past them. They looked a formidable group, shaved heads and uniforms in disarray, but Ryou wasn't one to judge on appearances. Everyone was best off as far away from him as possible.
Ryou had decided to cross the road when a scuffle broke out. He glanced over, surprised by the sound. Two of the gang held a girl by her arms while another threw punches. She was making it hard for them though, kicking and biting her captors.
"Hey!" Ryou intervened, barely thinking. Nothing happened, so he put his hands on his hips authoritatively and spoke louder. "Hey." It sounded like a shout to his ears. Finally, the gang looked around.
"You want some, shrimp?" the one throwing the punches sneered. Ryou tagged him as the alpha of the group.
"Not particularly," said Ryou, truthfully. He was sure that physical violence would trigger one of his blackouts.
"Then why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?" The pack sniggered in support of their leader. The girl caught between them rolled her eyes.
"Why don't you leave her alone?"
"Really? You wanna stand in for this freak?" The leader walked over to Ryou, standing menacingly close. Ryou did his best to maintain a fierce gaze.
"Don't need anybody to fight my battles for me," growled the girl, wrenching her arms out from her distracted captors. She flew towards the leader, twisted his left arm twisted uncomfortably backwards and wrapped her right arm around his body to press a hitherto concealed knife to his throat. "Our business was concluded. I won't be seeing you again."
The boy's Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. The girl moved around in a part circle, pivoting the boy to face his mates. She pressed the knife closer, a groove forming in his skin. He nodded almost imperceptibly, and she backed off, licking at a trickle of blood making its way down her cheek. She seemed otherwise unconcerned.
"This skank's not worth our time," the leader blustered, trying to restore his swagger as the three left at a fast walk.
Ryou exhaled, relaxing. "Well, if you're not hurt too much, goodbye." He hurriedly headed off towards the bus stop. It was only a few paces further, though, and not quite enough distance between him and the knife-wielder to be comfortable.
"Were you going to fight?" She was still waiting at the gate, calling after him. She wasn't wearing the same uniform as Ryou and the foiled attackers. There might have been elements of a school uniform in what she was wearing, but they were buried under too many layers of ripped denim and neon to be sure. Ryou wondered what she was doing at his school.
"No," Ryou smiled, almost apologetically. "I thought maybe I could talk them out of it, make them see sense."
"Heh." The girl laughed. "First sensible thing they did was to try and take me out. Not that it'd ever do them any good."
"Self-defence course?" Ryou said hopefully.
"In a manner of speaking." Her grin was wide, and gave the appearance of one slightly unhinged. "But if I can get rid of three of them with this, imagine what I can do with a real knife." She held up the weapon from earlier and Ryou scrutinised it closely, realising he'd moved closer to do so.
The handle was a creamy colour, maybe ivory, and rounded. Rounded too was the tip of the blade, and dull the edge. "A butter knife?" said Ryou, almost awed.
"It's all in the way you hold it." She twirled the knife a few times in a hand clad in a studded fingerless glove before retiring it to a pocket somewhere in her many layers of clothing. "So you were honestly going to try to talk them down?"
"Well, yes," Ryou said.
"That was stupid of you." She punched Ryou on the arm, and he jumped. "Did you do it to save the damsel in distress?"
"Because you're a girl?" Ryou shook his head. "No, I just know what it's like to be bullied, and I won't walk away from it happening to someone else."
"You're okay, kid." She put an arm around him and it felt more threatening than the punch to Ryou. "I'm Malikah."
"Pleased to meet you." He really wasn't, but he did his best to hide it, not shrinking from the unwanted embrace. "I'm Ryou."
At that moment Ryou's bus arrived. He'd have got on it even if it wasn't his. "I have to go now."
"Yeah," Malikah lifted her arm lazily. "See you round, Ryou."
Malikah made a small salute to Ryou as he found a seat. It didn't look like she was going anywhere.
Ryou found himself looking for the strange girl each day. She was usually at the gates after school and she seemed popular with the more rebellious elements. He would walk past quietly, then she would shout an idle hello. Ryou responded with a smile and a shrug, and always walked on, ignoring the tugging of the Ring inside his shirt. Until the day she was alone.
"Hey, Ryou." He'd made it to the bus stop before he heard her voice behind him. "Want to go for coffee?"
He closed his eyes and offered a silent prayer before he turned to face her. "I really have to get home."
"You left early today." It worried Ryou that she'd been paying attention to his habits. "Do you really have to? Mom and Pops got chores for you?"
"I live alone," Ryou replied. "I have chores for me."
"You too, huh?" Malikah leaned back against the railings fencing the school off from the outside world. "Dead? Both mine are dead."
"Oh, I am sorry," Ryou looked again at Malikah, sympathy in his voice. It explained her odd clothes and her relentlessly bleached, spiked and undercut hair; no parent Ryou could imagine would let their child out looking like that.
"No great loss," Malikah smiled that off-kilter grin of hers. "I never knew my mom, and my dad was a misogynistic asshole."
"Oh," said Ryou, lamely. "My mom and sister died in a car crash. My dad moves us around a lot now, and sometimes he can't come with me because of work."
"So he moves you around a lot," Malikah said, raising her eyebrows. "Why?"
Ryou could see his bus at the end of the road. Every instinct he had told him to get on it. Every instinct the Ring had told him to go with Malikah. He hadn't felt it get quite this excited in a while, laying hot against his skin. "Maybe we should go for that coffee."
Malikah hovered uncertainly at the door. "You seriously spend your Friday evenings at church?"
"It's just a social group. Come on in." Ryou held out a hand to beckon Malikah over the threshold.
"I dunno, I feel like I might burn up on entry. People like me aren't welcome among good Christian folks." Still, she followed Ryou in. "I'm taking you somewhere cool after this. Somewhere with music you'll hate and girls twice your size. I'll make you stand next to the speakers until your ears bleed, then feed you to the hungry moshpit."
"That sounds fair." Ryou smiled angelically.
There were about twenty people in the room, high school aged kids and a few older. The latter were clearly volunteers, helping out serving food and drinks, a couple chatting with the younger kids.
"What do you want to do?" Ryou scanned the room. There was a foosball table and a couple of games consoles, and a stereo in the back pumping out sanitised rock music. A group of girls wre painting each other's nails.
"How about get the hell out of here?" Malikah shuddered, but Ryou was already making his way over to the foosball table to say hello to someone he vaguely knew. "Don't you leave me alone with these people!"
Her line of view was obstructed as a plump young man with glasses insinuated himself into her presence. "I don't think we've seen you in here before, have we? Welcome, welcome. My name's Brad, and I run this special evening." He was almost glowing with pride.
"Yeah?" Malikah sneered, taking a small step forward to invade Brad's personal space.
"Funky, isn't it?" He lowered his voice to a sanctimonious whisper. "And may I say we are accepting of all sorts here. The Bible has tolerance at its heart, whether straight, lesbian or whatever, there is a place for you in our Lord Jesus' heart."
"Brad, baby, where I'm going, ain't no angels." Malikah stroked the reassuring bump of the Rod against her hip, concealed under a voluminous jacket. "And I've a feeling I'll see you there. Some of us can't be saved, can we?"
She pushed past a now speechless and reddening Brad, heading for Ryou. Ryou's smile faltered as he caught sight of Brad. "What did you say to him?"
"Nothing. The man made some poor life choices. Anyway I don't think you should come here anymore."
Ryou crossed his arms, pouting furiously. "What are you trying to do, destroy my life, so I have to spend more of it doing what you want? Is that it?"
"Hell no. I don't give a damn about your life."
"Yeah? Then why are you even here?" They were both shouting now. The rest of the room was quiet apart from the stereo as people watched, unsure what to do.
"To prey on the vulnerable, what the crap do you think I'm doing?"
"Then our friendship was worth nothing?" Ryou felt his eyes start to sting. Unconventional as she was, Malikah's presence had encouraged him to think that maybe he could have friends, if he was selective about how and where he saw them. If, that was, he followed the Ring's instruction.
"Kid, you want someone to hold your hand and skip off into the sunset, find yourself another girl. I'm only out for what I can get from you." She turned her back and stomped off in cherry-red Doc Martens. The door slammed behind her.
Ryou felt a hand on his shoulder, a gentle press signalling comfort. "You're better off without her," whispered the acquaintance.
"She's better off with me." Ryou ran after Malikah, leaving the social group overwhelmed at his sudden burst of emotion.
It didn't take him long to catch up to her. She was walking slowly, scuffing the ground with the toe of her boot. "I'd think you wanted me to find you," he called, warning her of his presence before he pulled alongside.
"That'd be a dumb thing to think."
"Yeah."
They walked in silence for a little while before she broke it. "You know when we first met, and you tried to break up that fight?"
"Mmm."
"I deserved it.
"I don't doubt that."
"No, I mean, I've been selling drugs all this time. That asshole tried to grope me, so I cut his coke with sherbet."
"Okay…" Ryou put his hands in his pockets, trying to maintain a non-committal tone.
"That shit hurts when you snort it, y'know? Gives you a nosebleed and foams all over the place."
"For a drug dealer's revenge, that's pretty weak, Malikah."
"Yeah, I know. And I mean, a butter knife. What was I thinking?" The two shared a small smile before the silence descended again for a few minutes. It wasn't a long walk back to Ryou's place but he was walking in the wrong direction.
"I killed my dad."
"Oh."
"You're not saying anything." Malikah stopped walking, and Ryou followed suit.
"I don't know quite what to say to that."
"Still want to be friends with a murderer?"
"Malikah, did he… did he hurt you?"
She nodded, crossing her arms to clasp her shoulders reflexively.
"Well, listen. I think I've done some pretty bad things too. I don't remember them, but people around me don't tend to live long and happy lives. So, if you want to be friends, I'm game."
"You'd wish a short and miserable life on me?" Malikah laughed, the insane grin back again. "I feel like I've had twenty of those already, no big deal."
"Okay then." Ryou sat down on the grass verge by the side of the road to look up at the stars.
"You're a real weirdo, you know that, Ryou?" He felt Malikah sit down beside him, and press something into his hand. "But you're my weirdo now."
Ryou laughed, opening his hand to look at the small golden object. It was one of her many earrings, and not a discreet stud, but an inch of solid metal. It almost looked like one of the prongs of the Ring. "What should I do with this?"
"Stick it up your nose." Malikah sniffed, looking away.
"No more coke for you, clearly." Ryou nudged a little closer to her. "I'll treasure it, thank you."
"Ow!" Malikah exclaimed, and Ryou edged away again. "Not you, dummy, this thing. It keeps digging in." She reached under her jacket to withdraw the offending object.
The Ring was suddenly very heavy against Ryou's chest, the prongs prodding into his flesh as the familiar gold eye stared up at him from the rod. "Where did you –" He didn't manage to finish the sentence before blacking out.