Just a little oneshot of Karkat Vantas after the game is over. Everyone has changed into humans and are living on earth. No one remembers the game except for Karkat.
*based off of some pictures you may or may not have seen* I can't link things, I'm too technically challenged.
But I did listen to the haunting refrain remix with all of the kids, I suggest listening to that while reading. :D
The haunting thoughts swirling around, I never could escape them. I always knew they were real. Even after they all forgot, I still remembered. I, Karkat Vantas, will always remember.
Standing in my room, even now, with the game gone and done with, I can still hear them. Hear their screams as I couldn't save them. Hear all my friends die, hear them suffer. All because of me, I led them to their doom. I was the fuck up of a leader that couldn't do it.
I could feel the pain of losing them all over again, every time I thought of our failed session, our last chance at life—or so we thought, but the humans decided that we could come with them. I saw no reason not to.
My pesterchum flashed, the irritating ding signaling that someone was trying to contact me. I ignored it.
I turned away from it, turned towards the only thing that could help with these kinds of thoughts. I'm sure the neighbors hated it, but I didn't care. I just wanted to lose myself all over again, not unlike how I lost all of them, my friends, my enemies, everyone.
I pulled my violin out of its case. So dark, so black, it could almost be a casket, ready to hold me after I'm gone.
The feel of worn wood on my fingers did nothing to ease my nerves. The sharp smell of the instrument did nothing to snap me out of my stupor. I gripped the bow, placing my fingers like I had learned so many sweeps—I mean, years ago. The placement was slightly uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as the thoughts that were getting worse by the minute.
I brought the scratched wood of the string instrument up to my chin, holding it firmly between my neck and shoulder. My left hand reached out, grabbing the end and brushing the all too familiar swirls of the scroll.
I put my bow on the strings and began to play, what exactly, I don't know. Whatever came to mind, I suppose, the notes didn't really make sense until I played them out. They usually sounded good, but mostly they just sounded sad. Sadness and death always seemed to surround me. There was hardly a song I played that sounded happy, but sometimes there were. My dad would always wait by the door and listen to me play.
But today felt different, I felt like something was wrong. What was today anyways? April? Maybe midway through? I didn't bother to check my phone, I knew what day it was now.
My grip on the violin hardened, instead of gentle, my strokes turned rough and erratic. It didn't sound bad, so I made no move to stop myself.
I kept playing, even as the pictures in my head started to appear more vividly. I didn't even realize I was crying until my muffled sobbing made it hard to keep the beat even. I kept playing.
My grip on the bow was too tight, the notes too sharp. I felt a hand on my shoulder, I kept playing.
I played for hours, well, it felt like that. My dad eventually left and retreated to his study.
My tears had dried up, leaving only emptiness. I placed the violin gently back in its case, carefully so no more harm could come to it. I looked down at my tear-stained shirt, expecting red, but there were only the dark grey stains that this human form came with. But if one thing didn't change, it was my blood color. Still the same, mutant red it was before, still the same, normal red of a human's. It was my only physical memento of the game, my only material memory.
My pesterchum still flashed, my friend's urgent need to talk to me would soon be quenched.
2up kk. Sollux's chumhandle flashed across my screen.
NOT MUCH. I replied, having nothing to say, the opposite of what I used to be on Alternia and during the duration of the game. I just didn't feel like talking anymore.
you know youre beiing really quiiet lately.
YEAH, I KNOW.
iit freak2 me out a liittle.
SORRY.
ii2 everythiing okay?
NOT REALLY.
iim 2orry.
Sollux knew, by now, that nothing he could say would help me.
WHY CAN I STILL REMEMBER?
remember what?
EVERYTHING.
kk, ii dont know what youre talkiing about.
I KNOW.
I WISH I COULD FORGET IT.
ii wii2h ii knew about iit.
NO YOU DON'T. He really didn't want to know, he didn't need to know.
I felt the tears start up again. Maybe I really just wanted someone to remember with me, someone that would know what I know and feel what I feel. I would never burden someone with that, though.
kk?
YEAH?
are you cryiing?
YEAH.
There was silence on his side of the chat while I let the tears stream down my face, blurring the monitor and softening the light.
MAYBE IT WOULD HELP IF YOU REMEMBERED TOO. I typed, once the silence became too much for me to bear.
remember what?
THE GAME.
kk, you know that ii have no iidea what youre talkiing about. ii never do.
YEAH, THAT'S OKAY.
okay.
But, then again, maybe it was better if he didn't know. Maybe it was better that they all just forgot.