In Which Arthur Discovers Eames' Love of Felines

A/N: Sorry for the massive absence, everyone! School has been kicking my ass, and in general I've been lacking any motivation to write. But, today I discovered this drabble half finished, and I figured I ought to make at least some effort on the fanfiction-writing front. So, here you go! It's not much, but it's something. I hope all my readers enjoyed their holiday season, and I wish you all a happy new year - I'm planning on being a lot more active in 2013, so watch this space!

"So, this is my apartment. It's not much, but –"

"Awww, who's this? Arthur, you didn't tell me you had a cat!"

"I don't, it just comes round for food every couple of days."

"Shall I let it in?"

"No! I don't want it inside."

"Why not?"

"It's a stray, Eames."

"But you can't just leave that poor little scrap all alone, outside in the cold! It's inhumane!"

"But who knows what kind of diseases it's carrying?"

"Then take it to the vets! How often do you feed it, anyway?"

"You're making it sound like it's my cat. I don't want it coming into my home, scratching up my couch and shedding all over my clothes, so I keep it outdoors. Simple. Besides, you know how often I travel, so it's better to keep it outside."

"You didn't answer my question, darling."

"I feed it whenever it comes to visit me! I'm not gonna go searching the back alleys with a bowl of cat food looking for it every day, and there are probably a whole bunch of other people who feed it."

"Does it not have a name?"

"I never bothered naming it."

"Do you even know what gender it is?"

"No, because, funnily enough, I don't spend a lot of time wondering what genitals my cat has."

"It's a bit sad calling it 'it' all the time, don't you think?"

"You're just far too sentimental."

"Well I'm going to name it, even if you won't."

"Eames, don't make me regret asking you to move in with me."

"Sammy is a good name, don't you think?"

"Are you even paying attention to what I'm saying?"

"That way we won't be misgendering it."

"You're worried about misgendering a cat."

"There's nothing wrong with being politically correct."

"Says the criminal."

"At least the people I con can defend themselves. These poor animals are left to fend for themselves and hang on a second; did you just say you wanted to ask me to move in with you?"

"I was hoping that, in your cat-induced rage, you wouldn't notice. That's not how I wanted to do it."

"But you do want me to move in with you."

"Well, yeah. I know neither of us are good at commitment, but it seems like the logical next step, so –"

"I have one condition."

"Hit me."

"We're taking Sammy to the vets, and then we're letting him live with us."

"That's two."

"Give the cat a break, Arthur."

"Well…fine. But you bullied me into it. And you can pay the vet's bill."

"Thank you, darling!"

"And if it moults anywhere, or coughs up any furballs, you're cleaning them up."

"Oh, I thought you'd never ask."

"You're an asshole, Eames."

"Tell me something I don't know. Now then, I think we have moving in together to celebrate?"

"You know what? I think we do."