AN: Just my interpretation of how Arizona and Callie might experience their first time attempting anything sexual after the crash - or maybe it's how I would like to see things go rather than what might be hinted at on Grey's. Clearly, it contains explicit content, and there are a few expletives in there as well – if you are not of age or not interested (either or), don't worry about reading – it's not everyone's thing. I had this 75% written before the last episode, so excuse a few things that might not correlate perfectly. I apologise for that.

Making It

Part 1/1

Lying on their bed, side by side, they were painfully quiet. It should have felt familiar, and it did, sort of; yet it was uncomfortable too, foreign. It had been so long and the confidence was gone and in its place was a whole bundle of what ifs and worst case scenarios.

They were just incredibly nervous, self conscious and unsure.

Rolling from her back to her side, Callie sighed. Arizona, supine and propped against a pillow, allowed her head to loll, hastily blinking eyes meeting her wife's gaze. "It's okay," Callie said softly, "if you're not ready." She earned a scowl in response. "I'm not pushing, whatever you want, whatever makes you feel comfortable. And whenever, there's no rush."

"I want to," Arizona responded, voice shaky as she raked a hand through her hair. "But it shouldn't be this hard."

Hesitating, Callie shuffled her body closer under the sheet, sliding an arm under Arizona's pillow and using her other hand to entwine with Arizona's fingers. Brushing away stands of blond hair with her lips, Callie pressed a lingering kiss to the curve of her shoulder. "I'm nervous too," she admitted, barely audible as she sunk into Arizona's pillow.

"You are?"

Callie nodded. "I keep overthinking things; I'm worried that I won't be able to make you feel good. There're all those notes from the brochure and things the rehab guys said. I don't want this to not be good for you."

There were tears in Arizona's eyes and her stomach was somersaulting; she despised that they even had to go through this. That they had to make a huge deal over doing something that was so instinctual to them, which always had been. "I'm sorry," she offered, because all she could think of was that it was all her fault. She had been angry and ashamed, and she had waited too long. Now it was just awkward and there was too much pressure; she wanted to forget it all suddenly, she wanted to disappear.

Callie was whispering in her ear within a split second of the apology leaving her lips. "No, no no," she murmured, breath warm on her jawline. Her fingers tightened around Arizona's and she shook her arm slightly. "No," she repeated, "we'll take this as slow as you want. We'll stop and change, experiment. It's okay with me; we just need to talk and you let me know. Okay?"

Arizona nodded, brushing at her wet cheek. "Okay," she confirmed, "I want this so much."

Releasing their hands, Callie draped an arm over Arizona's abdomen, the soft material of the cotton tank top under her forearm. Her fingers pressed into Arizona's side. "Let's just lie here for a while, talk and relax. Let's not make this into something that we can't live up to, you don't need to be worried Arizona. I love you, and I want this too."

Her entire body relaxing suddenly, Arizona seemed to sink further into Callie's hold. She released an awkward laugh and murmured, "This feels ridiculous, and we've done this hundreds of times before."

Thumb stroking over Arizona's ribs, Callie nodded. "I know; I feel like a teenager again."

"Like I'm gonna get it wrong," Arizona filled in, smiling when Callie kissed her temple chastely.

"'Cause we're clearly two people who aren't good at this," Callie countered light-heartedly. She smirked amongst the silence, trying to contain the shudder of her shoulders as she worked to swallow an involuntary laugh.

"Do I ask?" Arizona questioned, running her open palm over Callie's forearm until it came to rest around her elbow.

"I shouldn't…" Callie said, trailing off as her pinkie located the smooth skin under the hem of Arizona's shirt. "But I will," she added, laughing. "Even though we're all stressed about this, and I get that; it's just, I'm still completely turned on. Ever since the words left your mouth, what, two hours ago?"

Arizona blushed but a giggle still escaped; recalling the moment that evening when Callie has leant across the table and kissed her, tongue running along her bottom lip. Her unfiltered response as Callie had pulled away with a childish grin, God I want you tonight. "Mmmm," Arizona murmured sarcastically, "because it was such a seductive invitation."

"Oh it was, I assure you. It did take me a few seconds to figure out what you meant, I was being very slow and the whole wedding catastrophe was distracting." Callie nuzzled into Arizona's neck, wet lips just lightly pressing to the skin underneath Arizona's earlobe and down over her pulse point. She could feel her slowly relaxing in her hold, momentarily distracted from what felt like a big hurdle in their recovery.

"Are you sure?" Arizona asked quietly, her own warm breath drifting over Callie's cheek.

"Sure?"

"You know how I feel," she elaborated, "and I know that you said it doesn't bother you but…" she trailed off nervous energy creeping so quickly back in.

Callie hesitated to answer, more tender strokes of Arizona's skin and nuzzling into her and trying to convey with action what her words were failing to. "I find you," Callie began painfully slowly, drawing each word out into elongated syllables, "absolutely and completely divine. Irresistible actually, and all I can think about right now, is making sure that I don't just inappropriately grope you." She chuckled lightly. "I want to be slow and I want you relaxed and enjoying this, but I also want my hand under your shirt."

Arizona laughed as well, grateful for Callie's careful balance of sensitiveness and seriousness, mixed with the gentlest of non-offensive humour. Callie resisted though, slipping just the pads of her fingers to stroke the milky skin of Arizona's stomach. More toned now, after her rehab and return to work. It had gone from slightly swelled from medication and sedately lying in bed to hallowed, from a lack of appetite and refusal to engage in even the most basic of household routines. Callie loved the feel of her abdomen, the way that she could feel Arizona's muscles tense under her touch and the suppleness when she would arch her back and roll her hips.

Trailing her hand back down Callie's arm, Arizona shadowed the fingers that now danced more deliberately over her stomach and hipbone. Callie stilled immediately. "What if I can't…well, you know, manoeuvre how we want to? How we used to."

Certainly not phased, Callie simply shrugged. "Then we try a different way, it doesn't matter how many positions and variations we try, we'll find one that feels good for you."

"And you," Arizona insisted.

"I'm so not picky," Callie said, smiling. "As you may well remember," she added, tongue playfully running the length of Arizona's ear. "You're so worried baby," she murmured, "it's only me here. You can't upset me, you can't insult me; this is meant to feel good and fun. We just need to practise and I don't know, maybe re-explore a little again. Relearn."

"I know," Arizona admitted after a moment. "My mind is going crazy with 'what ifs'."

"Tell me them, I want to hear what you're thinking. Trust me."

Hesitating, Arizona sighed, sucking in her bottom lip and chewing on it. She felt Callie release her hold and lift herself up on her elbow so that she could look expectantly into Arizona's eyes. Tears welled again, blue eyes sparkling as the bedside lamp light bounced off the glassy film. "What if," Arizona began quietly and shakily, "it turns you off?"

Callie melted, using her thumbs to softly stroke Arizona's cheeks and catch the stray tears that escaped. She shook her head and pushed the thin sheet off of them, turning her face as she danced a hand down Arizona's body and over the amputated limb.

"Don't; not yet," Arizona weakly protested.

"Shhhh," Callie responded quickly. She shifted her body, curling on to her side and pressing her ear into Arizona's pelvis, short boxers bunched under her cheek. She observed her own hand carefully as it tenderly explored, running the outside of her thigh and over the stump before trailing up the inside to the leg of her shorts. "Definitely not turning me off; definitely not," Callie whispered, inhaling the distinct aroma of Arizona's slight arousal.

"It'll feel different; I'm worried it'll be different."

"I can't wait to go down on you," Callie murmured, breath quickening as her fingers lost some sense of control and edged to ever so softly pad at the cotton panties beneath Arizona's pyjamas. She felt Arizona still under her touch and she quickly moved back up her body, hand on the base of her sternum. "When you're ready, I'll be ready."

Slowly, Arizona nodded, cupping Callie's face and drawing her in for a long, lingering kiss. Platonic at first, just gentle slow movements, with lips being sucked on and brief breaks to draw in air. Gradually, the kisses deepened, tongues pressing into each other and playing familiar games of flicking tips and deeper exploration. And as Arizona's hand slipped under the back of Callie's camisole and flattened against her spine, Callie's thumb stroked over the swell of Arizona's breast. She earned a noisy exhalation of approval. "I want this," Arizona purred, though neither knew whom the comment was for, a reminder for both of them perhaps.

"I want you," Callie insisted, dark eyes clouded with desire as she intently stared into Arizona's blues. Her hand squeezed at Arizona's breast and she was fighting the desperate desire to just tear their clothes off. They needed slow and sensual, with countless reassurances and an undeniable sense of safety. "And right now," she continued, "I want to take your shirt off."

A silly smile greeted her and with shoulders curving off the pillow, Callie took that as an eager permission. She slowly drew the shirt up from Arizona waist, stopping to kiss the centre of her chest at least three times, before slipping it over Arizona's head and off her arms, held stationary above her head. Catching Arizona before she could lean back on the pillows, Callie tugged her into her body whispering into her ear as she unclipped her bra. "I love you," she murmured, "you are so beautiful." Arizona relaxed back, limply allowing Callie to discard the black silk bra to the floor. With hardened nipples on display, Callie murmured something nonsensical before bowing her head and slowly pursing her lips around them. She spent minutes on her each breast, lolling her tongue in circles before flicking it over each pursed nipple. And when she gently sucked the tight nib into her mouth, she earned the first unfiltered, unguarded and completely arousing moan from deep within Arizona's chest.

And quickly, Arizona's hands were active, fingers curling into Callie's hair and down her back, creeping beneath the waistband of her panties and over the smoothness of her firm arse cheeks. She applied pressure, tugging Callie closer into her body as they very subtly moved against each other.

"You're so hot," Callie muttered, kissing up Arizona's chest and neck until she messily found her lips. Their kisses now deeper and harder, hot air rushing into each others' mouths. Callie moaned unabashedly as Arizona's knee bent and her thigh pressed against her panties.

"I've missed you so much," Arizona articulated between rushed kisses, catching the edge of Callie's eye as she bowed her head and groaned again. Pushing off of where she lay half draped across Arizona's body, Callie removed her own shirt, feeling Arizona's fingers on her breasts before she had even tossed it to the floor. She closed her eyes briefly, relishing the sensation. And when she pressed her body back to Arizona's, the hands were quickly at her back, fingernails scraping lightly down her sides.

They were quickly kissing again, long breathless exchanges as their lips became red and swollen.

Until Arizona froze underneath her, face turned to the side mid kiss. "What is it?" Callie asked suddenly, stilling her movements completely, barely aware of her hand that had tucked under Arizona's left leg and easily lifted the stump away from the mattress. "Am I hurting you?"

Shaking her head, Arizona whispered, "No. I just need a second."

Callie nodded, not moving except to bow her head and lightly kiss Arizona's cheek, closing her eyes momentarily. "Talk to me, Arizona. Please."

Moving her leg, Arizona brought it higher until it shadowed Callie's hip. She reached down and firmly pressed to the other side of Callie's pelvis, indicating for her to move from straddling her right leg to settle in between her legs. "Can we try that?"

Callie nodded, shifting herself so that her weight was held on her upper arms, either side of Arizona's shoulders as she slowly lowered herself, swallowing heavily as she settled her centre against Arizona's.

Arizona winced, eyes squeezing shut for a moment and teeth clenched.

Within seconds, Callie was back at her side. "It's hurting you," she murmured softly, "we'll try something different." Arizona exhaled heavily, reluctantly nodding and casting her eyes to the ceiling. "Hey, hey hey, it's okay. This is what tonight is about; we'll just slow down and try another way. It's okay, Arizona."

"It's just my hip," she murmured in response, and Callie reached down immediately to softly slide her palm over the curve of her hip and thigh.

Callie nodded quickly. "We'll add that to your PT, the aim has been walking hey, next is flexibility." She returned her focus to Arizona's face, still intently staring upwards. "No stressing, remember, this is all fine, everything is fine. We're just finding our way." She hesitated for a moment, running the back of fingers down Arizona's cheeks until she could slide the pad of her thumb over her lips. They separated slightly in response. "And I hope I'm far more interesting than our stained ceiling," she said lightly, earning the desired response when Arizona returned to look at her. "See, look, we're still right here and totally turned on." Arizona smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Arizona confirmed, quietly.

"Talk honey, tell me what you're thinking. Are you okay? Do you want to stop?"

"I'm okay," she replied after a few seconds of slow breathing. "And I don't want to stop, this…this was good. Really good."

Callie nodded, expression relaxing and exposing a smile. She leant in and kissed Arizona again, slowly building up their intensity until she earned a soft moan into her mouth before she pulled back. "Do you think maybe you on top would work better?"

Nodding, Arizona rolled on to her side and up on to her elbow, mind racing as she tried to conceptualise how she was going to crawl her inadequate limb over Callie lower body. As if reading her mind, Callie quickly enveloped her tightly into her arms, mouth sucking down her neck and hands splayed over her spine. She distracted Arizona, reaching down and pushing at the waistband of her shorts and underwear, grateful when Arizona assisted in kicking them further down. They only made it as far as her calf before she tugged at Callie's. Within seconds they were naked, exposed and tightly pressed against each other, heat radiating.

And suddenly, Callie was rolling from her side to her back, drawing Arizona flush against her body so she tumbled limply on top of her, right leg falling immediately between Callie's legs and her other, straddling Callie's thigh. "Okay?" Callie asked, suddenly breathless again.

Rolling her hips, Arizona used her hands to push her upper body away from Callie and she nodded immediately, mouth slightly agape. She immediately felt a rush of fluid pool at the sensation of movement against the aroused bundle of nerve endings. "It's good," she murmured, knowing Callie was expecting some kind of a verbal response.

With one hand immediately cupping Arizona's breasts, thumb flicking haphazardly over her nipple, she held her other stationary at Arizona's hip. "Is…Can I?" she asked, guessing that Arizona need some slight pressure to assist in keeping her balance and momentum, arms trembling slightly at the effort of holding her upright and neutralising the inequity in her lower body.

Arizona nodded, taking Callie's hand and guiding it to her hip before tugging firmly at Callie's bicep. "If you sit up," she explained, cheeks flushed with pink. "I think it'll help."

Callie only groaned in response, spreading her legs as she sat up, holding Arizona to her as she manoeuvred to sit back on her heels, Arizona's leg in a similarly mirrored position. The sensation was immediate, firm pressure with just the slightest roll of the hips; breasts rubbing and mouths quickly devouring each other. They stayed in that position for almost ten minutes, graduating from soft rolling motions to more irregular, hard and jerking tugs. Slowly, thick arousal pooled on their thighs, hot fluid that made a distinct wet sound with each movement. The moans slowly built until their mouths were open and warm, quick breaths spreading into each other's mouths.

Eventually breaking the silence, feeling her body start to build toward a climactic peak, Callie hoarsely muttered, "Do you want to…is this how you want to?" Arizona simply groaned, pushing her face into the nape of Callie's neck, arms wrapped around her back. "I want to taste you again Arizona; I want my fingers inside of you. I want you…I need you inside of me."

She felt Callie slip a hand between them, thumb awkwardly trying to press into her as she continued to move against Callie's thigh. "Mmmm," Arizona murmured. "I want you too…I just don't know how or what will work."

"I've got some ideas," Callie grinned, arching her back as Arizona pressed harder into her. "But you better stop before I'm past the point of stopping."

She earned a laugh in return; a genuine, almost pride filled laugh. "And your ideas?" Arizona prompted, not quite sure how to extract herself from their current position. She leant back, her knee cracking.

"How about you just lie back and let's see if my brilliant oral skills still have it," Callie suggested with a cheesy wink, stilling Arizona with firm hands on her hips. She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

Arizona seemed to hesitate, face clouding as she shrugged. Leaning back, she waited for Callie to untangle her legs, crawling on the bed with one hand still unnecessarily attached to Arizona's side. The blonde silently followed suit, pushing Callie to lie back until she could conform to her side, face pressed into her a mass of loose dark hair. Callie lightly trailed her fingers over Arizona's back, feather light touches up and down her spine. "Do you not want me to?" she asked softly, when Arizona showed no signs of movement.

"It's so frustrating. There's no spontaneity, it's all planned and just...too I don't know, ordered. This has to be driving you crazy." There was a hint of anger in Arizona's voice and when she raised her face, the frustration was clear. "Because it's driving me crazy."

Callie nodded slowly, choosing her words carefully, after she sought Arizona's lips in a lasting kiss. "We knew this would take time," she reinforced. "And I am so enjoying this, being with you, touching you. We'll get there."

Sighing, Arizona shook her head. "I won't break," she muttered. "You won't break me."

A guilty blush spread over Callie's cheeks and her eyes darted away before returning. "Too polite and gentle, huh?"

"I don't know," Arizona whispered, bringing a hand to cover her eyes and rub at her face. "I like how careful you're being but then I don't…aghhhh."

The corner of her lip dipped into a small smile and Callie tugged Arizona's hand away from her face. She replaced it with a barrage of miniscule, light kisses. Taking a small chance, Callie took Arizona's hand and pushed it down her body, widening her legs until she could place her palm over the trimmed black curls. Tapping her middle finger over Arizona's, she pushed it into her wetness, a long stroke along the length of herself. Arousal gathered on both of their hands. "See what you do to me," Callie murmured, libido easily regathering momentum.

She lay motionless, biting at her lower lip as her forehead involuntarily tensed and relaxed with each patterned movement of the pad of Arizona's finger. She could barely conceptualise that her wife was rolling closer towards her, skilfully lighting each nerve ending, as only she had ever been able. Each sense was suddenly burning; Arizona's moans escaping through loose, panting ministrations on her breast and long fingers urgently entering her. They slid in and out easily, and her lower abdomen contracted in expectation; a strong, low groan emanating from the back of her throat.

"Fuck," Callie muttered, unfiltered as she raised a flushed face off the pillow. Rolling her body on to its side, Callie hurriedly brushed a hand down Arizona's back until it met the curve of her hip. She was mildly aware of her tense fingers scraping nails along Arizona's soft skin, pale red marks at the small of her back. And without hesitation, without question, she pushed her hand between their bodies, emulating Arizona's actions that were increasing in speed and force. She earned the desired response, blond hair falling over Callie's chest as Arizona tipped her head back and audibly chuckled in a hybrid of disbelief and arousal. "Arizona," Callie murmured, cheek trembling as she smiled in response; pelvis rolling with each thrust.

"Do not…stop," Arizona gasped in response, stilling her two fingers inside of Callie and curling them to stroke at her sensitive internal walls. The base of her palm methodically vibrated against the burning bundle of nerve endings. Again, Callie mimicked her every movement. "Callie," Arizona whispered, stopping to almost bite at her clavicle, beads of sweat matching her own fervour.

"Mmmm?" Callie's response was hardly logical and she was barely registering Arizona's words, let alone the shortened limb that was involuntarily moving and shuddering over her own thigh.

"Do not fucking stop." The words were barely out of her mouth before her back arched and a speechless expression momentarily crossed her face. It was fleeting as she pressed firmly into Callie's hand with a tumble of expletives and breathless moans.

Callie wordlessly followed suit, fisting Arizona's hair and convulsing around the fingers buried deep inside of her, a rush of thick fluid spreading onto her thighs through Arizona's palm. She gradually came down, body limply falling back into the pillows as she closed her eyes, relishing the sporadic tugs around her fingers between Arizona's legs. It took a minute before she was aware of Arizona's slightly altered position, sex filled hand curled around Callie's ribs and cheek against her shoulder, breath tickling the curve of her breast. She pressed a kiss to the matted blond hair in front of her, straightening her back out as she slowly removed herself from Arizona and wrapped her arms tightly around her.

'You good?" Callie asked huskily, thumb lazily tracing down her spine and her other hand spread wide over Arizona's hamstring, stump limp over her pelvis.

"Mmmm," Arizona said softly, a barely audible hum.

"I'm good," Callie whispered, working her hand across Arizona's shoulder and down her arm before draping over her side and back up the length of her back. "That was…" she trailed off and hesitated, "God, I've missed you." Though she missed their active sex life and their spontaneity and excitement; what she actually missed, was her wife completely and utterly open and in her arms. There were no facades and no pretences, it was just the two of them and they were together. It was bare, simple; like all the mess in the world couldn't touch them for just a few moments.

Arizona took a long while to respond, chest still rising and falling with deepening breaths. "Thank you," she murmured.

"Thank you," Callie countered quickly, grinning though she felt Arizona shake her head against her chest. And when Arizona slowly raised her face to meet Callie's stare, her blue eyes were glazed. "Hey," Callie rushed to acknowledge, shifting her weight so she could cup Arizona's cheeks, concerned. "Hey, don't…what is it, are you okay?" Arizona didn't answer, pressing her lips to Callie's with an intensity, stopping only when she failed to swallow a soft sob. "Arizona, honey don't, it's alright." Another brief chaste kiss before Arizona hid her face into the nape of Callie's neck, trembling silently. "Shhhh," Callie soothed, reaching out and trying to grasp the sheet bundled to the side of them. She continued to gently calm Arizona, soft sounds until she had them covered with a thin cotton sheet.

"Callie," Arizona articulated almost desperately and the arms around her tightened their hold.

"I'm here," she replied, 'I've got you. I'm here."

"I didn't think…I didn't know if it, if we, would be like that again," Arizona said into her chest, voice muffled. Callie's lips pressed to her head and lingered, inhaling into the blond curls. They lay together in silence, and Arizona cried quietly until she finally turned her face so her forehead tapped against Callie's jawline. "I was in a fucking plane crash," she stated, voice hesitant and shaky.

Callie drew in a sudden breath and she felt Arizona tense underneath her touch. Nodding into her, Callie tugged Arizona even closer, wrapping both arms around her back and fingertips gripping tighter than she had ever held. "You were in a fucking plane crash," she emphasised.

"And I'm okay?" Arizona questioned, cautious and uncertain; frightened.

"You're okay…you're okay, you made it. You survived."

"And we're okay?"

The question had an immediate impact on Callie and she shuddered, voice wavering as she answered. "We're okay too," she confirmed and Arizona's fingers found her shoulder and gripped. "We made it too."

Fin