Chapter 25: A Letter Home

-----------

Promise me you will wakeup.
You saved my life and that's all I need.
Just don't leave me now; don't quit on me now.
You were all I had; you are all I need.

- From "Pity" by The Acacia Strain

-----------

Gatta peered over the densely unkempt hill, the sun's rays long hidden by the gray miasma. The ground was littered with bodies and burned out artillery and other destroyed weaponry. He then looked to his wounds, remembering where each had come from, two of them fresh and bleeding from this, the final battle.

The weapon in his hand was hot from being fired so many times. It surprised him that it hadn't jammed. As he fired the last shot into the ground, its empty magazine being shot from the chamber by a spring mechanism, he smirked. "I suppose Al-Bhed ingenuity has outdone even the finest blade ever forged..."

"We done here?" It was Chappu, who Gatta had last seen before the red-haired man went off to lead the fight for Bevelle.

"Looks that way."

"Didn't expect so much...trouble out of the Yevonites in Bevelle. They fought valiantly but we overcame."

"Their own damn fault for being so blind."

"Think this'll ever happen again?"

"I doubt we'll have much more fighting to do against any Yevonites, if that's what you mean. So the city is secure?"

"Yup."

"And Nyka?"

"Tidus and company took care of him. They infiltrated the temple from the rear entrance, the one that leads back to Macalania. Sent his ass to the Farplane, finally. Fagan went with him."

Gatta nodded. "So Tidus is staying? Is he...real this time?"

"Yeah, I'd say he's real."

"So where does that leave you?"

"Auron and I will be returning, hopefully to a more benign Braska. Wasn't very happy with us when we left."

A smirk fell across Gatta's face. "I imagine not."

"I'm going to go say my goodbyes to everyone. We're leaving shortly. So, it's been a pleasure, man. I'll see you when you finally bite it."

"Might be a while." Gatta laughed, nodding. "I'll see you Chappu. And thanks...thanks for your help."

"No prob, bob," Chappu replied with a smile. He turned and left, letting Gatta's thoughts float forward to his other friend and whether or not a man from another world could actually be sent to the Farplane.

They had found Weston after the battle for the Calm Lands had quieted down. He had still been perched against the tree he was propped against the night before. Blood littered the ground around him, his eyes wide open but very dull. In his right hand was a blood stained letter from Eimour. Gatta had read it, and was now carrying it in his right pocket. He'd return it to her with his condolences once he could grab an airship back to Besaid.

The soldier Gatta had looked up to and had been friends with, was now gone. Weston, who had survived so much and done so much against the Yevonites, was now merely a lifeless body stacked high in a pile. The mass sending would commence as soon as Yuna was done in Bevelle.

Gatta sighed and left the hill. He'd have plenty of time to think once he was back in Besaid.

-----------

Chappu walked alongside Auron, who had been waiting for him at the bottom of the hill Gatta had been atop.

"Are you ready?" he asked the young red head.

"As much as I'll ever be. Not looking forward to confronting Braska, but might as well."

Auron nodded. "There is one more thing I must do before I return to Braska."

"Oh?" asked Chappu, interest piqued.

"Yes, and I'm not telling you. You go ahead of me, I'll be back shortly."

"So you want me to face Braska alone, do you?"

Auron smiled. "It'll be a good learning experience."

Chappu stared at the gruff face indignantly. "Asshole."

Auron smirked and shrugged the insult off. He walked forward and around Chappu. When Chappu turned to yell another insult at him, Auron had already vanished.

"Major asshole." Chappu muttered under his breath.

-----------

I woke to the sound of birds chirping and the creaking of wind-blown branches. At first, I thought I was still on the hill, with the dead bodies of my comrades surrounding me. Then, my head began to clear and I realized that birds would be nowhere near a battlefield.

My vision came to me in spurts. I'd open my eyes, and then immediately close them. The light was too harsh at first, but after a few dozen blinks, I could distinctly make out the tops of trees.

Next of my senses to return was olfactory in nature. The familiar and despised smell of rotten flesh and fire filled my nostrils so quickly I nearly vomited. But there was another smell: charred metal.

I had no recollection of being anywhere near the remains of the camp nor the actual battlefield itself. I knew the mission had been an utter failure. Almost everyone was dead because of me.

After a few moments of breathing in the putrid odors and staring at the beautiful sunlight coming down through the canopy of treetops, I decided to move my eyes. I flicked them to the left and only caught more forest stretching out to a seemingly endless degree; nothing but trees and underbrush. I flicked them to the right and caught a rotted face staring back at me.

Not much flesh was left on the face, just a few blackened strips spread about, no eyes, just the hollow cavities they sit in. Like all corpses this decomposed, it had an almost smiling expression and its head was turned facing me. The hair was still attached to the skull. It was black in color, might've been a dark brown before decomposition, and long.

A slight, almost inaudible groan escaped my lips and I tried to turn my head. The muscles in my neck were very weak, and on the first few tries, my head didn't turn at all. Following those tries, my head moved only a few centimeters in each direction. When the muscles finally started working properly, my head lolled to the right and back a bit. It was then that I saw another corpse, this one smaller in stature. The hair was dark, almost black, though it had some brown mixed in. I assumed this was a child. I then felt a pang of something in the back of my head and my eyes squinted. A few tears flowed from them and I couldn't explain why. I had no connection to these corpses, as far as I could remember, yet I started crying. I didn't have a clue as to who they had been.

But the tears came nonetheless, maybe out of some hidden emotional connection to the corpses, or perhaps a subconscious effort to keep my brain from coming up with any possible scenarios that could have led me to the situation I was in.

The thoughts were a bit too late. There I sat in the mangled car, face slick with tears, trying to figure out where I was, what I was doing there, and who the corpses were. I knew that when I'd lost consciousness the last time, I had been atop a hill overlooking the Calm Lands and the battle ensuing there.

The scenario of the mission went over and over in my head. I knew that it was silly of me to try to rationalize another reason for its failure. My mistakes and misguided hopes were at fault. The team did their best, I just couldn't lead them. Also didn't help that I rushed it to fruition when we probably needed at least another good two to three months planning.

But we didn't have two to three months. We had a month to five weeks at best, because the Yevonites had been knocking at Mt. Gagazet's front door and the only thing to stop them was a force of Crusaders that was grossly outnumbered.

There were many questions swimming to and fro in my mind as I sat there, staring into the canopy of trees, my eyes stinging from the aftereffects of my crying. Did Rikku get the artillery there in time? Did Chappu ever make it to Gatta's camp? Did the Yevonites regroup and overrun Gatta's troops?

I groaned aloud, hands coming to cradle my face. My fingers wiped at the sticky remains of tear trails on my cheeks to little avail. With a heavy sigh, I decided to try my legs. They moved surprisingly well, though somewhat sluggish. Slowly, I used my thighs to turn my body ninety degrees clockwise. My feet landed on the ground with a dull thud. A cloud of dust rose a foot or so above the patchy ground.

I placed my hands on either side of the doorway -to which no door was attached- and pushed forward, almost falling face-first in the dirt. I caught myself with a well placed grab at a nearby sapling. Pulling backwards on the sapling, I righted my upper body and found balance until the sapling uprooted and I fell back against the mangled vehicle.

My back impacted with what felt like the upper jamb of the doorway, though it felt a bit too prevalent and after pushing myself back off of the car, I turned to face it. The upper jamb was bent in such a way that where I landed was actually more like a spear than a doorway. But I felt no pain and no blood was on the bent metal nor was it running down my back. I twisted an arm back and placed it where I had felt the pressure from the metal. There was no wound.

Yet more worry filled my mind. Where the hell was I? And for that matter, what was I doing there? I shook my head and closed my eyes, sighing again. I was really starting to wonder.

"Can't get hurt. Dead people in a wrecked car. I don't know where I am or why I'm here." I said aloud, just to get out of my head. Of course, no answer came. The only sounds I heard were normal forest sounds. Birds, a light wind sifting through the tree branches, the occasional chirp or breaking twig or creaking tree trunk.

To better assess things, I began really looking at my surroundings, trying to find landmarks that could point me in the right direction. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was no longer in Spira. In my time in Spira, I had never seen so much as a car or truck or anything of the nature. It was all airship, sea ship, or walk. Period. With that knowledge, I knew I was no longer in the same world I had been earlier. And, I guessed, this was more than likely Earth, my world, where cars were in great abundance. That being said, the fact that I was back on earth did not comfort me at all. I wanted to be in Spira. I wanted to get back to Eimour. I wanted to see Gary again. I wanted to see Nyka get his.

After a few moments of angered confusion, I decided to get back to checking out my surroundings. Though I was clueless, I thought that if I could really look around, I might be able to at least place myself on a map...even though I didn't have one. The forest floor was pretty sparsely grassed, probably due to the trees hogging all of the sunlight. But the grass that was there was mostly a dull green to a light brown. Patches of dirt and mud were everywhere in the sparse grass, and not many weeds or bushes inhabited the place either. The trees were tall, pine and oak, and they smelled wonderful. The leaves on the trees were a vibrant green. The air was thin and cool. I surmised a guess that the time of year was somewhere in the area of spring.

I then circled the car, trying to find a marking or license plate that could give me a clue as to where I was. The mangled car held no markings but I knew it was a four door sedan and that the driver's side was on the left. However, that didn't really mean much. A lot of countries used left-side drive configurations. I grunted when I found the license plate. It was sheared beyond recognition. I couldn't make out anything on the front, just that it was white with a little bit of blue and brown mixed in. Didn't mean anything to me.

-----------

Dear Mom,

The building is coming great! I'm just glad Ms. Rikku let me join up even though I'm only 16. She keeps telling me about how she was doing all this stuff like adventuring and the like when she was my age. Makes me feel like I haven't lived life to its fullest!

Look, I know you worry, but we're using some really safe stuff out here. Most the heavy lifting is Machina done. I'm mostly helping out with crane operations (so cool!) and cleaning up litter and stuff around the build site.

I saw some of the artifacts today. They had Dad's weapon there. It still had blood on it. I won't lie and say I didn't tear up. I miss him, even if I don't really remember him that much. I know you do too.

Gatta tells me all these stories from when Dad was around. It would be so cool to know him now. He sounds like a cool guy! Gatta asked me just the other day if you say anything about him and he was surprised to hear you do. I dunno what he thought you'd do, keep it all inside I guess. He didn't even know some of the stories you know about Dad. So I was able to give him just as much information as he gave me! I felt so grown up!

The other day, one of the curators for the museum came by to check up on the building and I got to ask him some questions. Just gonna run this stuff by you since it's news to me!

I asked him first how it ended. He told me how Tidus had come with this special stone that is able to ensnare a soul. This other guy, named Fagan, helped by being the gateway to open the stone and allow for that evil guy Nyka's soul to be trapped. Sucks that Fagan chose to be trapped in there too.

Then I asked about how Dad died. I'm sorry mom, I just had to know.

The last question I asked was whether any form of Yevon still existed. He didn't know but he did say that most of the Yevonites still left alive dropped their religion. That's a good thing, I guess.

Funny that not many people really talk about the war. I guess it's just too soon. I'm really fascinated by it though. Guess that's why I chose to help build the memorial and museum. I want to learn all I can about the war and how Dad was involved.

-----------

I woke to the sound of birds chirping and the creaking of wind-blown branches. At first, I thought I was still on the hill, with the dead bodies of my comrades surrounding me. Then, my head began to clear and I realized that birds would be nowhere near a battlefield.

My eyes were crusted shut. Out of reflex, my hands shot to my eyes to clear them. After a vigorous rub down, my eyes open easily. I was still in the forest. I don't remember leaning against a tree and falling asleep but that was apparently what I must have done.

"Nice to see you're awake. I suppose death can exhaust a person."

I blinked and looked around madly, trying to find the source for the voice. "Hello?"

"Hey there."

"A...Auron?" I thought I could recognize the voice.

"Darn, you got me." And at that, the tall graying man appeared right in front of me out of seemingly nowhere.

"So I'm dead," I said, looking him in the sunglasses.

"I guess you could say that. Your life in this world ended a year ago." As if in explanation, he motioned towards the wrecked car. "We made a grave mistake, Charles."

"What do you mean?" I asked, standing up and pushing off of the tree. I walked a few feet towards Auron.

"When we took your...soul I suppose you could call it...we never realized that you had survived that day with that murderer. We were under the impression you had perished at the hand of that man."

"You mean...that dream..." I blinked and shook my head, trying to remember the frequent dreams I had of the cornfield and that horrid man.

"Charles, we were inexperienced. We hadn't a clue as to how to get Tidus back to Yuna. But Braska wanted his little girl to be happy...so...we experimented, grabbing dead souls and trying to reincarnate them. You were our first success and our last experiment."

"Wait," I said, raising a hand. "You mean to tell me you grabbed my...soul thinking I was already dead and then brought me back to life on Spira?"

Auron nodded. "It worked with you. Braska wanted to try something else. Since a reincarnated soul has no conscious memory of its previous life, we had to find a way to create those memories for the reincarnation...and you were our first success..."

"And last experiment, yeah, I know. So all of that...everything I remember from childhood on...military training...that mission in China...Columbia, all of it..."

"Fake, yes," Auron replied, head falling slightly. "We grabbed multiple memories from some of the other souls gathered and manufactured our own, namely the mission in China."

I sighed, feeling the anger beginning to surge. "Great. Just great. I don't know what's real, I don't know what's fake. But...Was Eimour even real...Gary? Is the love I feel for them fake?" My voice was beginning to rise in intensity. I could feel an immense heat beginning to rise in my face and my fists clenched into tight balls. My self control was on edge.

"No." Auron said. "Those feelings are real. They are the reason you are here. You've got a choice to make, Charles."

This took me by surprised. "Wh...what?" I stuttered.

"When we took your soul, we did not realize that it still inhabited a body in your world. As a consequence, your body was left empty. You had been driving a car in a rural area with you wife and small son. Without a soul, you could no longer control your body. The car careened off of the road and into this remote area. Everyone died."

"What? You mean, you not only took me but killed two other people?"

"Not just two people. Your wife and child, Weston."

"But I never knew them..."

"And Braska is genuinely sorry for that. So in repayment, you have the option of starting over. We can place you back into your body the day after your parents' murder. You'll essentially have a new life to live."

"Will I...remember...you know...Spira?"

"No. You will remember nothing. That is our gift to you; a somewhat clean slate."

"Thanks. Thanks a lot." I said, shaking my head. After a few moments of very confused thought, I asked, "What's the other option?" I made sure I gave Auron a piercing glare.

"Well," he said, stepping forward. "We send you back to Spira."

"Well there we go. Decision made. I'll just go back," I said, nodding.

"But...there's a catch," he said gruffly, eyes peeking from the top of his sunglasses.

I sighed. "Isn't there always? What is it?"

-----------

Gatta sighed and got up from his desk. A private was waiting on his inspection of the new recruits but Gatta really wasn't in the mood. He had been looking through some of the battle plans and schematics he had worked up with Weston. Unlike many of his underlings, Gatta remembered the war all too well. He remembered the cost of life on both sides...and the cost of yet another of his best friends in battle.

He knew too that he'd likely not live to see another strong friendship formed amongst battle. Being the top brass of the Crusaders, now the protectors of a fully united Spira, meant Gatta would never again get to truly glimpse any form of battle or conflict. All of that was going to be left to the men training inside the Crusader compound.

Gatta also knew that he was more than likely going to stay a single man. He was only a few years from hitting forty and there was no prospect of a relationship whatsoever. Wakka had Lulu and Tidus had Yuna. Rikku had...whoever the hell that Al Bhed guy was she had introduced Gatta to at the last fall festival. Gatta had married the Crusaders back at the end of Yuna's pilgrimage.

And Gatta missed Weston. Gatta missed war. Gatta missed holding a gun or sword and commanding men while under constant threat. He always found himself thinking back to the war and the people and the encounter. Yes, war was horrible but...for some reason, Gatta missed that camaraderie. That one-minded "let's get em" attitude that was so prevalent a mere ten years ago was almost gone. Nowadays, everyone was just minding their own business, not really trying to be a unit. All of the new cadets were in it for the prestige, little else. Just to serve with the army that took down New Yevon.

Gatta wondered what Weston would have done with his life after the war? True, Weston had Eimour and Gary to deal with, but still; Gatta pondered how such an impressive soldier as Weston could handle the civilian life. Would he go nuts or would he adapt accordingly? What kind of job would he hold?

Would Weston really trade in his guns for love?

"Well, what does it matter anyway?" Gatta said aloud, throwing his hands in the air. "He's dead."

"Really?"

Gatta hadn't even noticed his office door open. "What the fu-.."

-----------

"What do you mean it's been ten years!"

"Time flows faster in different worlds Charles," Auron said, voice beginning.

"Well excuse me for not knowing. Until now, I didn't even know most of my life was a fraud."

Auron ignored my outburst. "Regardless, it's either a whole new life or...back to Spira with a ten year delay."

Frustrated beyond measure, I closed my eyes and sighed. A whole new life or...a return to a life with Eimour and Gary. Ten years though...that's a long time.

"You don't have long, Charles. Step back into the ruined car to restart your life on Earth, or approach me and return to a life in Spira."

I growled loudly, not really at Auron but at myself. I had to make this decision. After a few silent moments, Auron clicked his tongue. I shot him a ferocious look and started pacing, mulling over the choices.

Ten years one side of my brain kept saying while the other kept reminding me you love her. This continued for at least another five minutes. I could tell by Auron's stance that he was getting impatient, but to his credit he no longer tried to rush me with clicks of the tongue.

Another five minutes went by and I could tell Auron was on his last nerve.

"I think," I said, looking at him. "I've made my decision."

"Good. Get on with it."

I obliged his request.

-----------

Oh, and one more thing mom. While I was helping with the supply drops in the Lands today, I saw a guy eyeing Dad's memorial on the hill. You know the one, next to that big tree overlooking the battlefield? He looked kinda disoriented and kept asking me if the airship we were in would be going back to Besaid. I had to tell him no since Rikku doesn't allow commercial passengers, but I directed him to Bevelle, where there's plenty of airship terminals he can ride to Besaid.

I never quite saw a man looking this desperate mom. It kinda worried me. So I had one of our crew follow him, just to make sure he didn't do anything weird. According to Kelso (one of our crew) he had just enough Gil to cover the ticket to Besaid. No more, no less. Weird, huh?

Well, anyway, I'll end this for now. I know I ramble! Love you bunches and I'll see you when we're done in the Lands! This museum is going to look really nice when it's done! I'm just glad I can be apart of building it!

Love, always,

Gary

-----------

Authors Note: So there it is. The end. Four years to the day after it started. You're welcome.

Thanks go to the following songs for helping me get this thing wrapped up.

"Sink Fast Let Go" - Napalm Death Smear Campaign
"Pixellate" - Devin Townsend Band Synchestra
"Wrong Side" - Strapping Young Lad The New Black
"Symbol of Decay" - Red Harvest Internal Punishment Programs
"We Hold These Truths" - All Shall Perish The Price of Existence
"Angry Mob Justice" - The Acacia Strain The Dead Walk

For the past year and a half, I have written, re-written, scrapped, brainstormed, and fought to get this chapter written. Ending this has been very troublesome and after sending ideas and possibilities to some close contacts, I've sort of melded all of my ideas into one. You've just read the result.

I hope you enjoyed it and if you feel that this chapter didn't answer enough or that AtS wasn't satisfactorily ended, feel free to write your own ending. I've written so many endings for this story I'm plum tired of doing it. Of course, you're welcomed to send any hate mail or indiscretions to me: tlozwarlock at yahoo dot com. Thanks to those of you left to read this!

No One