Chapter 1: Ex- Subs

"What?" The breath left me instantly, panic rising through my body.

Christian's wary eyes were trained on me. His hands were balled at his sides as if restraining himself from reaching for me. It was a good thing he did, seeing that he had just revealed something he should never had.

" Ana." He started, his voice quiet and pleading.

I shook my head and took a step backwards. Even in the darkness, I could see the fear in his eyes. It almost chills my anger, my own arms craving to cuddle him and reassure him that I was his. But to be honest, I was a mess of uncertainty. Nothing is certain anymore, not after what he had confessed.

Christian put both hands up in surrender, "Ana, please."

I clenched my teeth, "No."

His eyes widened further, the grey jumping out from the darkness at me. "I wasn't thinking."

The anger within me, at first the size of a mustard seed exploded into an enormous tree within the second. " YOU WEREN'T THINKING?!" The volume of my voice shocked Christian, surprising even me. But it did not stop me from continuing, " SCREW YOU. WHAT KIND OF SCREWED UP REASON IS THAT?!"

"Ana!" Christian's arms fell to his side and then reached out to me. I ignored the plea in his voice.

Biting down on my lip, I shook my head even harder. "Stop it." I could not bear hearing him call my name. My mind replays the love in his voice, except this time, he was calling for… Leila.

"I think I should go." I whisper, my hands finding my handbag without so much as a glance.

It was Christian's turn to shake his head. " NO! ANASTASIA, YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!"

Spinning around, I retreated with quick steps.

"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!" Christian hollered, his voice pained.

I stopped in my tracks. My past insecurities had become reality. My voice was even and soft, but I knew Christian would be able to hear me with this swallowing silence. "You're wrong. This time, you've left me."

The tears brimmed over my lids and flowed down my cheeks as I stepped into the elevator. I pressed the necessary buttons, my gaze sweeping and avoiding the look of hell I knew the love of my life was now throwing at me.

Finally, the doors clicked shut and the elevator was zooming down from the tower I once felt loved in.

The moment I hit the streets, the betrayal conquered my bravado hard. My knees crashed against the ground as my body quaked with sobs, as if filling a spot that was now empty, I wrapped my arms tightly around myself in comfort.

Suddenly, a strong need to leave overwhelmed me. I had to get off the street before Taylor or Sawyer got back from searching for me or even worse, Christian decided to give chase.

Fishing for my phone, my fingers worked fast as dialing the one number I knew would make everything better for now.

"Hello?" Ethan sounded scruffy.

Immediately, I felt guilty. "I'm sorry… Were you sleeping?"

Panic rose gradually in his voice, there was no longer any trace of drowsiness. "Ana? Are you crying?"

My bottom lip quivered as another round of tears shook through me.

"Ana? Sweetie? Are you okay?" Ethan bombarded me with questions when he did not get an answer. "Sweetie, where are you?"

I could hear a flurry of movement from over the phone and I realized he was preparing to come find me. "Are you still at Christian's?"

Taking a few deep breaths, I steadied myself to answer. "Y-yes."

I heard a sigh of relief escape followed by the sound of a door slamming. "I'll come get you."

"NO!" My voice rose by octaves. The last thing I needed now was the clash of Christian's details and Ethan.

"Ana?" Ethan's tone was filled with anxiety and confusion.

Without sparing much thought about the lack of funds I had, I retorted with a response I knew well. "Fairmont Olympic."

"The hotel?"

"Yes." My eyes scanned the street as headlights turned the corner.

"Can I come pick you up?"

The familiar SUV came into view and instantly, I dashed behind a pillar. I watched it drive into the parking area. "No. I'll catch a cab." I replied, as another pair of headlights came towards me. Perfect timing, I thought to myself as I hung up, flagging down the cab and leaping into it for dear life.

Even the cab driver picked up on my nasty evening. "Miss?" His tone was spotted with concern as he glanced at me through the mirror.

"Fairmont Olympic Hotel, please." I whimpered, my eyes catching the sight of Christian bursting into the street just as we drove away.

"Certainly, miss."

As the sight of Christian searching frantically for me disappeared, I buried my face into my hands as the waterworks kicked off once again.

"Is everything alright?"

"Stop the car." I shot up straight as a thought crossed my mind.

Almost immediately, the cab driver pulled to a halt, his eyes searching me through the mirrors once again. Opening the door, I flung my phone out onto the streets and then closed the door. Christian can track that for all I cared.

"Please, drive on." I told the cab driver, plastering a smile on my face the best I could.

His eyebrows furrowed, as if trying to determine the reason behind my queer behavior.

My eyes dropped to my feet and my heart clenched. "Tonight, my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend."

I felt the cab begin to move again as the cab driver began reassuring me that everything was going to be okay. But all I could think about was the conversation Christian and I had exchanged earlier.

"You gave her a bath… in my tub?" I asked, my insecurities waking from their rest and stretching.

"Yes, I did." His tone was even.

"And dressed her in my clothes?" My insecurities blossomed, growing larger by the millisecond. Anger coursed through my veins. He had no right, they were mine.

"Yes, I did." Something rose in his voice. Discomfort? Guilt?

"Did you…" My words got lost, but I found them again after a long while. "Did you have sex with her?"

I had squeezed my eyes, hoping he would combust and yell at me for questioning his faithfulness. But he did not. Instead came a defeated confession that I had imagined from day one. "Yes."

Fifty shades.