Author's note:

This is a continuation of "Motives", written by my roommate, AeolianMode. This series of stories is based on our collaborative headcanons and this one in particular is the bridge between the first installment and the sequel. It isn't quite a sequel, as it does not follow the story of Scout and Medic like the first one did, but it's still going to have some rather important elements to the story.

I have never written a fanfiction before (at least not officially), so this may or may not be complete feces from a male cow, but I will do my absolute best to make it enjoyable. Onward!

Hey kid. Yeah you. Pay attention, I got another one for ya. Hey now, siddown and quit pickin' your nose. Yeah yeah, don't piss your pants, I know you're excited.

This one's a little bit... stranger. If anything it's... kinda personal. Don't go tellin' anybody, got it? Not your ma, not anybody.

This is where my life started makin' sense...

It was early mornin' and so cold I thought my ass was gonna freeze and fall right off. We were up in Canada at this place called Cold Front. Nice little place, but it didn't get its name for its charming nature. No, Kid, this place was DAMN cold. I'd never seen so much snow and by the time we left I never wanted to see it again.

When we got there, there was some kinda legal battle going on between the Administrator and Hale and the town nearby. Lemme tell ya kid, they did NOT like the thought of havin' a war goin' on next door. Point is, we got a whole week to get used to the place- learn the ins and outs, where the dead ends were and all the little nooks and cracks to hide in for an ambush. At least that's what I did. I know I'm just a runner and all but the most fun I ever had was when I got the jump on people. Especially Heavy. After the whole incident with Friedrich savin' my butt and all, Aleksandr and I were pretty okay with eachother, so it kind of turned into a game, I guess. To see how long I could toy with that Land Whale before gettin' blown away. There's no way I could face him head-on, but hit-n'-run style became my thing to take him down.

Enough about Heavy, I'm getting sidetracked. So I got to wander a lot. I wanted to know where the Doc had set up his infirmary too so I went looking' for it. He'd picked a room sorta in the back of the base right near the respawn. Not too close though. They started makin' everybody nervous after that little encounter in Kansas so I guess he was just bein' careful. That, or the fact that the room next door to it was, and I shit you not, FILLED with booze. Kid, I've never seen so much liquor in one place before, but Demoman sure did pick a good spot to hide it because the door had a pretty big lock on it. It wasn't locked at the time, so that's how I got a peek but still... Pretty impressive.

So I finally found the infirmary and walked right in without knockin'. 'Course I woulda knocked had I known it was the infirmary but hey, I was just looking.

Friedrich was sittin' at his desk with his head in one hand and in the other-

"Doc, is that..." Man, I really need to learn to shut up sometimes. I didn't have to ask- I KNEW what it was. It was one of Medic's doves.

He shot me a look that changed instantly from pained to furious, but I could still see that residual sadness somewhere.

"Go away," he snapped. He looked tired, probably from traveling. I hadn't seen him since we left, having rid the train with Spy and Pyro, whom, on a side note, none of the staff approved of in the least. I don't blame em'. Flamethrowers don't belong on trains period. Anyhow, the Doc wasn't in good shape.

"Doc, I'm... I'm sorry," I said, a little shocked to see him so torn up over a bird. "That's not..."

"It isn't Archimedes if zhat's vhat you're asking. It makes no difference zhough. I..." he trailed off for a moment, holding the bird in both hands and looking down at it contemplatively.

"Socrates vas sick. I couldn't save him. I did not even notice until zhis morning after I finished unpacking and it escalated so quickly, zhere vas nozhing I could do."

I didn't know if he meant it as a metaphor or not. You remember what I told you about Klaus, right? Well, before we left, I guess it'd been weighing on him pretty heavily, especially after our last test. He was so sure it was perfect- the thing that would increase his bone density ten fold. But when he tested it on me... Kid, I nearly died. It didn't affect my bones, but it got at my stomach lining and... Shit, it was horrible. I was coughin' up blood so fast he almost wasn't sure how to stop it. It had never gone that badly before, but after he admitted combining some things that he'd tested before that had a possibility of reacting negatively, then it all made sense. Doc was gettin' ahead of himself.

I just stared at him and the bird for a long time before I finally sat down. He shot me a look of protest, but it faded when I retaliated with concern.

That brings me to somethin' else. In the silence, I could hear him breathin'. Kid, it's haunted me since that day. When he respawned, it didn't work all the way and his lung just... quit on him. He's been weaker since then, gets winded easily... And I can hear him wheezin', his one lung workin' hard to try and compensate for the dead one.

He was quiet for a long time. It felt like a waiting game... again. I hated waiting games. This drug on for like, at least thirty minutes. I thought it was kinda ridiculous, but... then it was kind of worth it.

"I am sorry, Scout," he said softly after a bit.

"Hey, it's fine. I lost a dog once and did a lot worse than you-"

"Nein," he said, cutting me off. "I am not zhinking. As much of a pain you are, it is... only a bird. Only a pet."

Kid, he always took me by surprise with this kinda stuff. He'd gotten a little better about not being such an ass, sure, but he actually apologized for a lot of his faults at that point. Felt kinda nice, too. I wasn't used to bein' apologized to, at least not back home. People just assumed you got over stuff and if you didn't they'd tell you to grow a pair and suck it up.

The rest was kind of a blur. We didn't say much else, he wrapped up the dove and put it in an old shoebox to be buried, showed me the way back out so I wouldn't be butchered by Sniper or Demoman and that was it.

I didn't feel like exploring much more that day. I just went back to my room and finished unpackin'. This room was smaller than the one in Kansas, and a lot more... well, Kid, it just looked sad. I kinda figured out why it was small though. 'Cause of the cold outside, it was easier to keep a place like that warm. It didn't change the fact that I had to make an extra tablets outa cardboard boxes. Yeah, that didn't last long.

After that was supper, which was pretty much the same. Nothin' special happened then but afterward on my way back to hang out for a while, maybe read for a bit, I ran into a certain Frenchie. Er, he ran into me.

"Scout," he said, towerin' over me by a few inches. "Finished unpacking?"

Alright, that was creepy. He was creepy before we left to, moreso than usual. Watched me like a hawk. It was pretty damn disturbing.

"Yeah," I said, trying to make it known that I wanted to get around him. He moved to the left when I did though. "Ugh, what do you want?"

"I was curious to know if you had found any good cloaking places. I haven't had the time to look, myself.

Okayyy, so apparently I was his little buddy all of the sudden. What the heck?

"Yeah, but I don't think you'd fit."

He remained expressionless, save for closing his eyes and sighing. "Are you still angry with me?"

I knew what he meant. "Why wouldn't I be? You are MARRYIN' my MA."

"I don't see why this is such a reason for you to hate me so. I love your mother and she loves me as well. I have promised to treat her properly, though thick and thin. I should think you would be happy she isn't falling in with a other wife-beater."

"Yeah, well I don't care." I glared at him as hard as I could. "You're nothin' but a sneaky bastard and I can't believe anything you say."

"Even zhough we are on the same team?"

"Especially because of that. You're just too weird, Spy... You're not straitforward, and I don't think Ma needs any more mind games."

"Punkin'," he started. Big mistake, startin' with my real name. Seriously, what kind of mother names her son after a vegetable? "I am more honest with your mother than you know." His expression softened a little. I still didn't believe him though. This was gonna be a disaster.

I wanted out of this conversation. I dunno why he kept on my heels all the time, what the hell this was all about. My only guess was that he started feelin' like he could try to rule me because he was gonna be part of my family. Well, he had another thing comin' if he thought that.

My cheeks were gettin' hot. Spy got me all angry- he did that all the time, it seemed like. Knew how to get inside my head and make me squirm.

I leaned forward and put my pointer finger in the middle of his chest, trying to stand up to his height with my jaw set.

"If you hurt my Ma," I said, my words slow and purposeful. "I will KILL you. I will drag you away from the respawns and slaughter you like a pig."

Kid, I meant it. Threatening people wasn't normally my thing, at least not seriously, but I wanted that rat to know how much was on the line. I could see his face change, if just for a second. He looked concerned, sure, but there was something else. Sadness? Why would he be feeling that?

He pulled away from me after a second. "It would be wise not to threaten me, Punkin'." Oh now I KNEW he was messin' with me. "But you have nothing to worry about.

He walked off on his own and I was left standin' in the hall. After that I went to bed but didn't get much sleep. Too much on my mind, what with Friedrich and the never-ending chain of death and Spy creepin' around like some kinda spider... or a crab. Yeah, Spy was definitely more like an ugly little crab.

The week dragged on until the legal disputes were settled. I have to say, it got kinda boring after a while. I visited Engineer once but he was bein' all introverted and didn't pay me much attention. Something' about a new sentry gun. After that I took to hangin' out with my own team, or tryin' to. Soldier was pushy and loud and only ever wanted to talk about how to make a man scream a certain way or cause him to wet himself or that song by Charlie Ray. Yeah, Kid, he meant Ray Charles, but would fight to the death to prove that he was right.

Pyro was another story. He never said anything. Never took off his mask, never showed any kind of expression. Spy freaked me out in one way, but Pyro genuinely terrified me sometimes. He'd sit around with a lighter during our down time and flick it on and off for no reason other than to watch it burn. So I'd avoid him as much as I could. In fact, I never quite figured out where Pyro's room was. I didn't wanna know, frankly.

Then the fighting finally began. We were informed over the intercom that Monday was it. Oh man, I was excited. It's a littl embarrassin' but I hadn't had a really good romp in all that snow yet, and that combined with bullets flyin'. Aw it was gonna be magical.

Turns out I was very wrong. It was like Hell I that snow. I wasn't used to runnin' and shootin' in it and every time I'd step in it my leg would sink up to my knees in certain places. I dunno why Engineer didn't sink so bad or Spy. I eventually figured out which spots were the worst and either jumped over em' or hid under em'. Like a gopher.

Fightin' wasn't much different. Sentries were set up on the Red team, Pyro was blowin' shit away and eventually I found my groove and no one stood a chance for too long.

I always hesitated though to shoot the Doc, at least of I knew I couldn't kill him right away. I noticed a major difference in his and Heavy's performance- how often he had to stop, especially in the colder air to catch his breath, how much he had to subdue any maniacal ferocity on the field because of the energy it took, y'know, the works. He seemed to be in better spirits though so I left it at that.

The fight stopped when the RED team won, just by a hair. It was kinda customary for the winning team to finish us off, but between some members it had almost become funny. Engineer walked up to me, we shook hands and he promptly shot my head off. I remember seein' him trying to hold back a laugh, 'cause I crossed my eyes at the last second. It was kinda odd that I had more friends on the enemy team than my own, but if I'm honest with ya, Kid, they were WAY more tolerable than the jokers I had to work with.

I'm ramblin'. Back to the point. We had supper and I was about to hear off to my room to hang out for a while when I saw somethin'- someone outa the corner of my eye.

"Ugh, what do you want?" I asked as Spy approached. "If ya didn't stalk your own team you might not look so weird.

When I turned around, I saw him uncloak. He'd been invisible that whole time with nothing but a subtle blue sheen to outline him when he turned a certain way. I wasn't supposed to be able to see him. No one was. And apparently it surprised him a little too.

He cleared his throat, expression shifting back to that old unreadable slate and came closer.

"Nothing really, but I noticed your performance was not as pristine as it could have been."

"What?" I cocked my head at an angle slightly. He better not be tryin' to criticize me, especially on what I already know.

"Well, we did lose. The snow is not as easy to traverse as you thought it would be, is it?"

I didn't know what he was getting at. Unless...

"You know," he began.

He better NOT.

"If you just,"

Don't. Go. There.

"Wore larger shoes,"

Oh, he went there. My knuckles grew hot. Spy was about to be the man of no face I stead of a thousand if he didn't quit.

"Because of the surface area,"

Kid, let me explain somethin'. I've got the tiniest freakin' feet... Gyah, I hate em'. Always have. I mean look at me, everythin' about me is just... small. I'm like a damn runt. Ever been bullied by a girl? Well, probably not. I have. Plenty a' times, at least before about middle school. Well, even then there was this chick on the wrestling team that pinned me every single time. She was a beast... a beast with the face of an angel- gettin' sidetracked again. At least you're bein' educated either way, right?

"Shut up," I said. " Right there, just stop."

"I am only trying to help you," he said. "Every time we lose our pay gets docked. If I were you, I would take whatever assistance I can get."

"I think I can take care of it, Spy." That stupid name rolled out of my mouth like a hiss. "Go bother somebody else."

He looked… kinda surprised, Kid. I mean, I could be vicious, but I was spittin' mad. This guy had the nerve, after stalkin' me, messin' with my ma, and callin' me by the name only Ma was allowed to use without getting' some kind of retaliation, to then insult me with what he thought was 'constructive criticism'. I had had enough. I hated him. I wanted to maul him right there.

Now, Kid, normally I just… wanted to avoid him. But I guess it all just came crashin' in on me at once. Y'know how sometimes you just… snap? I'd had a long day and didn't need any more beef from a backstabbin' Frenchie. I woulda walked away, but I just kept starin'. And I woulda kept starin', tryin' my best to burn holes in his ugly mug if somethin' hadn't interrupted.

"Uh," It was a familiar voice. One I wasn't used to hearin' in our base, especially at night.

I turned and looked to see a massive hulk of a Russian standin' in the doorway, takin' up almost the whole thing.

"Aleksandr?" I asked out loud.

"Em… Is… bad time?" Normally he had a kind of… I dunno, gruff way about him, but I guess he'd walked in on a conversation he didn't expect.

"No. Spy was just leavin'." I shot him a glare, but he didn't respond. Just cloaked again and wandered off.

Heavy was silent for a couple of seconds. "Doctor says he vants to see leetle man. Did not feel like coming himself, sent me instead."

"What about?"

"Did not say, probably ehh, new test."

"Okay." At that point I didn't feel like going to my room anymore. In fact, Heavy's timing could not have been more perfect.