A.N: I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I know I had said I would update in a few days after the previous chapter and, well, we all know how that turned out. I've been completely swamped with university and assignments - I've had so much work to do for next week and I'm still not done. Though it is more under control now, which is how I finally found a chance to sit down and finish this. Though I don't think this delay can be entirely blamed on my work.
If I'm completely honest, the response from the first chapter shocked me a little bit – I've never had such a wonderful response from such lovely people. And though it made me very, very happy, after a while I think I became very self-conscious of this chapter and a part of me thinks that it won't live up to anyone's expectations. It's an odd feeling, that's all I can say. But I told myself to stop being a baby and here I am, using all my will-power not to eat this chapter and just enjoy writing (because I really have enjoyed writing this one) and I hope you enjoy reading it at least.
NOTE: I just wanted to give a quick thank you to AnzhelaSatoryu who kindly told me that Albin had actually used bolts, rather than arrows (because I had no clue at first), so thank you for helping me correct that mistake.
Hollow Duty
Chapter 2
By Justine Themis
It was a little over a day later when Merlin finally awoke.
The first thing he noticed as he slowly opened his eyes was that it was bright. His eyes watered against the light and everything was blurry at first until his vision adjusted. He felt strange and groggy, like his head was stuff with wool. When it cleared the next thing he realised was that he was in his own bed, over-heated by the extra blankets thrown over him.
It wasn't until he tried sitting up that he remembered his injuries. Pain burned at his leg and shoulder, a reminder of the day before. The pain had dulled somewhat, but it still stung. He sat himself up into a comfortable position and pulled back the blankets to look at his leg. The previous bandage had been removed and replaced with a fresh one. Going by the strong, vomit-inducing medicinal smell, Merlin assumed Gaius must have dipped the bandage in a tincture before applying it to his wound. The same went for his shoulder, which had also been neatly bandaged in clean but rancid smelling cloth. It did not help that his shoulder wound was closer to his face. The smell would never leave him.
Merlin also realised that his magic was back to normal, no longer a dull throb beneath his skin. He flexed his fingers, felt his magic tingle at his fingertips and he smiled. When he had tried and failed to heal his wounds before, he had been worried that the poison Morgana had given him had done something permanent to his magic. Instead, he realised, it had been trying to get rid of the poison, fighting against it, which would explain why it hadn't come to his aid; because it had already been trying to save him.
From beyond the door of his room Merlin could hear voices. Two voices, from what he could gather. One of which was obviously Arthur - who was talking the most out of the two, it seemed - and the other was Gaius. He couldn't make out what they were saying, as their voices were muffled through the wall, but whatever was being discussed sounded serious.
Merlin grunted as he sat up further, feeling the stiffness in his back, arms and neck, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Using the headboard as leverage, he managed to push himself up onto both legs. Though they were shaky and weak from healing, especially the injured one, and he doubted he would make it to the door, let alone down the few step outside his room.
Merlin looked around his room and was surprised to find his make-shift cane leaning against the wall next to his bed. He was sure he had dropped it back in the throne room, but he was thankful for whoever had brought it back with him. Merlin took it in both hands and used it to keep himself upright as he limped towards the door.
When Merlin pushed open the door, the two voices went quiet and he saw Arthur and Gaius quickly turn towards him from where they sat opposite one another at Gaius's table.
Gaius stood up, "Merlin!" he said, walking over towards him, "How are you feeling?"
Merlin winced as he slowly made his way down the few steps from his room. He really did not want a repeat of his previous attempt to limp down stairs. Gaius helped him down the last few. "Like I've been shot at," he joked. Even if he had literally been shot, he still grinned. "But other than that I'm fine."
Arthur remained where he sat; his elbows resting on the table, his hands folded together. He looked tense. Whatever he had been discussing with Gaius looked as if it were weighing heavily on his shoulders. But he seemed to relax a little at the sight of Merlin and his relief was evident. Though that certainly didn't stop him from chiding Merlin a little.
"You should have stayed in bed." Arthur reminded him.
Merlin was panting slightly, already tired from the stairs, as he switched his cane into his other hand, limping over to the table and pulling out a stool from beneath it. "Yes, well," he said, "I'm up now." And he sat down with loud huff. Gaius muttered something about finding something for him and left Merlin with Arthur while he searched his cupboards.
Arthur and Merlin sat in silence. Arthur went to staring down at his hands while Merlin fiddled with his cane before leaving it to lean against the table. Merlin was sure Arthur had some questions about what had happened, even if Merlin didn't know what those questions would be, but before that Merlin had a few of his own.
Merlin cleared his throat, "Did they, um, find out who the attacker was?" he asked, looking up at Arthur.
There was a pause before Arthur nodded, still looking down at his hands. "Yes," he said, "it was one of the men who worked for Sarrum." Merlin could hear the faintest hint of betrayal in Arthur's voice. Arthur had hoped to form a treaty with Sarrum, but instead Sarrum had tried to kill him.
"Did you catch him?" Merlin asked.
"He's dead."
"Oh." was all Merlin could say. "What happened?"
Arthur sighed, "Someone found the attacker before the first shot; managed to wound him some too. He wasn't from Camelot but if he hadn't intervened then the first bolt meant for me, I would be dead. That boy saved my life."
Merlin realised that Arthur could only mean Daegal, who had managed to find Albin just in time to misdirect the bolt. Merlin remembered how Daegal had fought the attacker and then was suddenly out of sight. He feared the answer but he had to ask. "The boy… what happened to him?"
Arthur's fists clenched, his face tightened. "The attacker managed to mortally wound the boy after the first attack. The boy was dead when we found him."
Merlin felt a lump form in his throat, making it difficult for him to swallow. His heart constricted at the news of Daegal's death. I shouldn't have sent him away, Merlin thought, lowering his head. Daegal may have betrayed him at first, but he had done so to survive. Morgana had offered him a fair price for efforts; any other man would have accepted such payment, done their job and been on their way. Daegal had proven he was different in the end, when it had truly mattered – when Arthur's life had been at risk. Betrayal or none, the young boy had not deserved death.
"Did you know him?" he heard Arthur say, and Merlin shook his head.
"Not really, no." He paused, "I had only met him a few days ago." It was true, he didn't know Daegal, but that wasn't it. How could Merlin explain to Arthur that Daegal had been working for Morgana when he met him? That his deal with Morgana nearly killed him, even if he had not known the consequences of his deceit. Would Daegal still be a good man in the king's eyes if he knew such things? Merlin didn't want to lie to Arthur any more than he already was, but he didn't want to ruin the final memories of his friend who had sacrificed enough - so he would not tell Arthur.
Arthur did not press Merlin for any more. "Don't worry, he will be given a proper burial. He saved my life, I owe him that much." The hidden meaning that Daegal had not yet been given a burial, that Arthur had been waiting for Merlin to wake up so he could attend his friend's funeral, was there and Merlin was thankful.
Merlin looked up at Arthur and smiled, "Thank you."
Arthur looked surprised and he laughed. It wasn't an exhilarated or even a joyful laugh, but it wasn't entirely humourless. He was just surprised. Surprised and relieved. "I'm the one who should be thanking you, Merlin," Arthur said, shaking his head, "you saved my life as well."
Merlin shrugged, "Yeah, well, all in a day's work, really." He grinned, hoping Arthur would leave the discussion at that. But Arthur seemed intended on thanking Merlin. Which was strange as Merlin had saved Arthur's life many times and only on a few occasions had Arthur actually thanked him. Granted, those few times were the only times Arthur knew about.
"Merlin," the king began, if not a little frustrated, "for some reason, you seem to think it's your duty to protect me. And I'm thankful, I really am, but you need to get it out of your head that you have to die for me by throwing yourself in front of danger."
It was Merlin's turn to laugh. Merlin knew Arthur must have been worried, even if he would rather chop off his own tongue than admit it, but he couldn't help feeling a little insulted. Merlin had spent a great deal of his life protecting Arthur. He doesn't think it's his duty, he knows it is his duty – his destiny. Nothing Arthur could say would ever make him change his mind about sacrificing his life for his.
"I didn't throw myself in front of the bolt," Merlin reminded Arthur, "I pushed you out the way and it hit me in the shoulder. That's completely different."
Arthur sighed, "Merlin-"
"And besides," Merlin continued, interrupting Arthur, "I told you once that I would always protect you or die at your side."
Whatever string Arthur's patience had been hanging from snapped and his hands slammed down hard on the table, making Merlin startle in surprise. Before Merlin could even open his mouth Arthur started shouting.
"How can you die at my side if you die before I do?" Arthur yelled.
Merlin looked at Arthur, wide eyed. Both shocked and confused at Arthur's outburst. "I don't-" he began, but Arthur interrupted him.
"There will be no more of this!" Arthur said, indicating a hand towards Merlin. "No more dying in my place, Merlin. You said you would protect me or die at my side. Or, Merlin. Or die at my side. Not protect me and then die at my side." Arthur stood up so suddenly that Merlin flinched. Arthur pressed his hands against the table top, "You said so yourself; you are not allowed to die until I do."
There was silence and Arthur was staring at Merlin with a hard look of determination.
And Merlin laughed.
Though slightly startled by the sudden burst of laughter, Arthur glared at him for laughing but it only succeeded in making Merlin laugh more. Merlin didn't really understand why he found it so funny, but he did. Maybe it was that he didn't know how to react, and laughing was just the best way to go about it. Either way it broke the tension. After a while even Arthur had to chuckle a little.
"Can we agree then?" Arthur said finally once the laughter had died down, "No more of this self-sacrificing, understood?"
Merlin took a deep breath, his lungs exhausted from laughing. He looked up at Arthur and smiled, shaking his head, "Sorry, no promises."
The amusement drained from Arthur's face instantly and he sighed, "Merlin-"
"I can't make any promises Arthur," Merlin repeated, holding up a hand in defence, "but I'll definitely tone it down a little. How's that?"
Arthur didn't seem too happy about it at all. Merlin knew Arthur wasn't going to accept it but Merlin wasn't going to stop protecting Arthur just because Arthur didn't like it. Arthur didn't like a lot of the things Merlin did but that didn't stop him doing them. But he could compromise... in a way.
Arthur stood up straight, looking exhausted. He ran a hand over his face. Now that Merlin looked closely, it looked as if Arthur hadn't slept. "We'll discuss this later, Merlin," Arthur said finally. "You should get some rest. I'll want you back to work as soon as you're able to get around on your own."
Merlin agreed with small nod and watched Arthur turn and make his way towards the door.
Just as Arthur rested his hand on the door handle, he turned back to Merlin with the briefest hint of a smile and nod of appreciation. "I never said it directly," he said, "but thank you. For saving my life, that is." And before Merlin could say much else Arthur opened the door and left.
Merlin sat and listened to the door click shut and waited as Arthur's footsteps gradually grew quieter. He flinched when an arm interrupted his vision as Gaius set two glass vials down in front of him. He was a little embarrassed that he had forgotten that Gaius had also been in the room the entire time. But it couldn't have taken Gaius as long as it had to find the medicine, so he must kept himself back so he and Arthur could talk - and Merlin couldn't help but smile in gratitude at the old physician.
"I assume you and the king had a good talk." Gaius said, sitting down next to Merlin and carefully taking his bandaged shoulder in his hands.
Merlin almost laughed, substituting it for a wider grin as Gaius began unravelling the bandage on his shoulder. "It was… odd." he said finally. Odd was the right word for now; it was a conversation that was unfinished and long over-due and would likely be brought up again in the future. But until then, Merlin would call it odd and be glad for it.
Gaius nodded and gave a quiet hum as he pulled the bandages away. The strong medicinal smell hit Merlin's nostrils in an instant and he had to turn away, his eyes watering at how strong the smell truly was. Gaius, on the other hand, seemed completely unaffected.
"It's doing much better," Gaius told him, throwing the used bandage into a bucket at his feet, "you're very lucky the bolt only pierced the muscle. Had you been hit at a different angle it would have been far worse." Gaius took out a small cloth and dipped it into a cup of water on the table. He gently began cleaning away some dried blood around the healing wound.
Merlin grinned, "It's a good thing I've been building it up then, isn't it." At least his work-load of chores have been doing him some good over the years at least.
Gaius chuckled, picking up a clean bandage and wrapping it around Merlin's shoulder, "Yes, well, let's not make a habit of it, shall we?" he said, pulling at the two ends to make the bandage tighter across Merlin's wound.
Merlin winced but said nothing. He had already had the "stop sacrificing yourself" conversation with Arthur and didn't really want to go through the same open-ended discussion with Gaius. So he sat quiet and patiently as Gaius finished re-covering his wound.
Gaius tied the two ends into a small knot. "He's been worried you know," he said, adjusting the bandage so that it was more secure but not too tight, "Arthur, I mean. They all have." Gaius gave Merlin a hard look, "Three men have died, Merlin, we were worried there would be a fourth."
Merlin didn't know what to say. We were worried. Not just Arthur or the knights, but Gaius as well. Merlin could only imagine what must have gone through the heads of people who had seen Merlin sprawled across the floor with an bolt sticking out of his shoulder; looking no more dead then Sarrum did with an bolt in his chest. If there was anything Merlin had learnt from living with Gaius is that any wound can be fatal if not treated properly. Merlin must have looked quite a sight when they found him and he couldn't help but grimace.
"I'm sorry." he said finally. It was all he could say.
Gaius's hard look softened, "It's all well and done now," he told him, taking up another bandage, "now, let's have a look at your leg."
the end
/A.N: Big thank you to all of you wonderful people who waited for this and reviewed (I hope you weren't too disappointed.) And again big thank you to my sister and beta Nada Themis who was kind enough to look over this quickly for me (because not only do I suck at updating, I suck at proof-reading too).
On another note, while editing through this, I realised there was more I wanted to write about what happened between Merlin passing out and waking up. I have actually wrote a little already, though I don't know whether or not I'll be publishing it as a sort of add-on to this or not. We'll see how it goes. So, even though I will be putting this story as complete, there is a (albeit very slim) chance of an extra in the future – it really depends on how it everything comes out.
Anyway, thank you all so much for reading (and happy Christmas!)
Justine