DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN CODENAME: KIDS NEXT DOOR


A/N: This is an idea that popped into my head about a week ago. I thought it would be fun to write, and I need some fun in my life right now, sooo here it is.

Donno what the "Fourth Wall" is? Allow me to quote Wikipedia:

"The fourth wall is the imaginary 'wall' at the front of the stage in a traditional three-walled box set in a proscenium theatre, through which the audience sees the action in the world of the play. The idea of the fourth wall… extended to the imaginary boundary between any fictional work and its audience. Speaking directly to or otherwise acknowledging the audience through the camera in a film or television program, or through this imaginary wall in a play, is referred to as 'breaking the fourth wall' and is considered a technique of metafiction, as it penetrates the boundaries normally set up by works of fiction."

Mmm, informationy.

Onward!


BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL


Hoagie leaned forward on the railing, staring out at the setting sun on the horizon. From that level of the Sector V treehouse, the view was magnificent. The orange glow of the fleeing sun defined the hue of the landscape behind the prominent sun rays. He couldn't count how many times he had witnessed this scene before, but, as he stared out over the rows of houses, he realized he had never stopped to truly appreciate it before.

It was beautiful.

And yet, there was something… someone… on his mind. Someone who superseded the sunset.

The boy sighed. He reached up, grabbed his goggles, and pulled them off his head. He held them out in front of him, and stared into the yellow lenses; the very lenses which had become the symbol of his identity to so many people, including virtually every Kids Next Door operative…

…every operative that he'd soon have no memories of. You see, Hoagie P. Gilligan, Numbuh 2 of the Kids Next door, was observing the last unset of his childhood. He had questioned if it was worth his time, spending his last evening as a kid watching a sunset. But then he figured, what did it matter? He wouldn't remember it anyway. The cold, cruel irony of the final days before decommissioning.

"Hey."

He wanted to turn and look at her, but his upper body locked up. Abby was the last person he wanted to see right now. And yet, she was the only person he wanted to see.

She strode up to the railing and leaned on it directly next to him, just barely not touching him. For a moment, he involuntarily stopped breathing, as if it might scare her off.

"You okay?"

He regained full control of himself. He looked over at her, and saw she was watching him with a concerned look in her eyes. The orange tint of the sunset illuminated her face, and produced a sparkle in her dark, brown eyes. Man, she was the prettiest girl he'd ever known. Too bad he wouldn't know her for much longer…

"Yeah… yeah, I'm alright."

Abby narrowed her eyes. She had a sixth sense about her: she knew when people were lying. Or when he was lying, at least.

"Yah know… you look pretty different without yo' goggles."

"Yeah? Well, I-I mean, I-"

"Abby likes it."

It took a second for Hoagie to process her remark, and he quickly turned away when he did, to hide his blushing.

Abby chuckled. "What's the mattuh, baby?"

A smile crawled across Hoagie's face, though he wasn't quite ready to share it with her just yet. She had that effect on him, even when he couldn't bring himself to do it by himself.

"Okay, seriously, what the heck is goin' on here?!" she shouts indignantly, turning around to face me. "Yo, boy, I'm talkin' to you."

Her voice was- wait.

"Yeah. You."

Um… what?

Abby sighs. "Lawdy… it's hard to get yo' attention."

I…. you… what's happening here?

"Well, clearly, she's trying to say something!"

Hoagie? You too?! Whaaaaaaat…?

"Well, I'd say this take is already out, so there's no point keeping with it."

True enough. Anywho, what do you want, Abby?

"Don't you sass me!"

What? No! No, I didn't mean… I wasn't trying to come across, uh, hostile, or… whatever…

"Right… anywho, what's with this junk?"

You're gonna have to be a bit more specific.

"Abby means, this story!"

Come on. Don't stop now. Lemme have it.

"Alright. For one, Abby's getting' all choked up about Hoagie's decommissionin'? You realize Abby's olduh, right?"

Yeah, I just… uh… for the sake of the story?

"You just what?" Hoagie says with a laugh. "Looks like you accidentally a verb there!"

Go stuff it, Hoagie. I might've had a momentary lapse in memory, aiight? Are you happy?

"Abby ain't happy!"

Oh. Dear. Lord. Why not, Abby?

"What did Abby say about the sass? This story has so many plot-holes just in that first scene, it ain't even funny!"

Gee, Abby, how do you really feel about it? Don't hold back now.

"She means it's a cruddy mess! Geez, how do you not get that?!"

What the crap, Wally? You're not even in this story.

"True! But what story ain't better with a little Aussie in it?"

"I agree!"

Kuki…? Man, we're really demolishing the whole fourth wall thing, aren't we?

"Pretty much. But, I mean, this is our treehouse, it's not like we weren't just inside this whole time!"

I guess. But this is supposed to be a 2/5 story. You and Wally have the spotlight more than your fair share of the time; why not let some of the others shine for a while?

"Agreed."

Thanks, Nigel. At least someone is on my side!

"Please, yo' just sayin' that 'cause you love the spotlight yo'self, baldy."

"That's not true! I think you and Hoagie deserve the spotlight here!"

"Hm, so we get a oneshot? How thoughtful!"

"It's better than nothing!"

"Oh, don't even start with the 'Rachel and I weren't even featured on the show' crud, Abby don't wanna hear it!"

GUYS! C'mon, let's just be civil, sophisticated people here!

"Way to take charge, Marty!"

…okay, seriously now. Rachel?

"Yes?"

What are you even doing here? Like, at all?

"Wow, I can tell when I'm not wanted…"

No, no, it's a legitimate question. You are, in no way, associated with this story.

"Well, Nigel's here…"

Fair enough.

"Oh, so you'll let them slide, but the second the short li'l blonde kid shows up, it's all, 'Oh, this ain't your story!' Way to play favorites!"

Aw, c'mon, dude, that's not even fair. You know I try to treat you all equally.

"What about us, yah stupid boy?!"

Wow, guys. Just… wow. Am I gonna have the entirety of the KND turn on me here? Is that what this is? I swear I'll do something with you and Patton. And Lee, Sonya, just… don't say anything. Please. I see you standing there, that's close enough.

"So, what now?"

Honestly, Abby, I have no idea. I'm not exactly in the frame of mind to write fluffy stuff anymore. Y'all kinda killed the mood. I'm just gonna call it a night. So everyone, just… go back to your treehouses. Nothin' to see here.


A/N: Word. That was pretty fun. There's absolutely nothing left of that forth wall; I think "breaking" was a bit of an understatement. Anywho, I've got a bunch of ideas for oneshots, which will pop up while I'm working on my series. Real oneshots, mind you. I think y'all will like 'em, even if this one lost you… though you made it this far, right?

"Cool."

What the-? LEE! GET OUTTA MY AUTHOR'S NOTE! THIS IS MY "ME" TIME!

"But, I didn't even get a line up there!"

Aiight, you know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and nip this in the bud…

Hope y'all enjoyed my A.D.D. as much as I did,

- Marty