This is another weird one.

TRIGGER WARNING: Includes choking, thoughts of suicide, mental pain.

Disclaimer: I do not own Ao No Exorcist/Blue Exorcist.

Sometimes, Rin felt like he was choking.

He felt like the whole world was tightening their hands around his throat, tighter and tighter by the second.

He dreamed about it, sometimes.

At first, it would just be the hands. He would look down, see the fingers of many, straining to squeeze his throat, clawing their way up and around his neck. They were cold, clammy, and strong.

Then, then, there would be faces. First, it would be random students from school. That brunette in Chemistry. Those foreign exchange students who were twins. The scrawny guy who sat next to him in Math. They were all biting their hands into the flesh of his neck, and it hurt. It hurt, but he couldn't do a thing.

But then, oh God, but then, he'd see Ryuji's face, blonde streak and all. The guy would get up all in his face, spit out, "Demon child," then proceed to crush his throat into oblivion.

Then Shima, who's eyes would be full of an unnatural, un-Shima like hate. It was too extreme for him, but it was there. It was real.

Afterwards, Konekomaru, who never looked so intimidating until now. They'd be nose to nose, and he'd chant phrases to make him more and more uncomfortable, crushing his throat, too.

Izumo, who's sharp tongue scarred him. She screamed obscenities at him, called him a pathetic excuse for an exorcist, called him fucking worthless.

Shiemi, who's trust was like a lifeline for him, was cut off when her soft, tiny hands grappled his throat, too. No words were spoken, but only eye contact. Her green eyes blazed with betrayal, hurt, and such hate.

But the worst was Yukio.

When Yukio came, all the others stopped crushing his throat, and he'd use those precious seconds to gasp in a breath before Yukio pressed the sheath of his sword against his throat and a hand at the back.

You're the worst brother ever.

You failed.

You're pathetic.

You wasted the life Father paid the ultimate price for.

Just die already.

And he'd start crying, like a baby. He'd try to bawl, but couldn't, because Yukio held his throat so firmly, so securely, that if he weren't being choked, it'd be soothing. But Yukio carried the intent to kill, and right before the blackness took Rin, right before he would breathe no longer, he'd wake up. He'd wake up, shivering and scared and pale and sore.

He'd continue on with life, but he could still feel it during the day. The hands, the voices, the taunts, the threats. It wasn't long until he became skitterish, shy, withdrawn, and always terrified. It wasn't long until he became scared of the brunette, until he became scared of those twins, until he became scared of everyone around him, afraid that one day, one day, they'd reach out a hand and clamp his airway closed.

And he'd let them.