Author's Note: Hello! The name's Madelaine, and this is my first official fanfiction. I realise that it irks some of you to no avail to type with quirks in dialogue, but Eridan's had me between a rock and a hard place. The w-word hyphenating just wasn't working for me, so I'm apologising in advance. Some feedback of all kinds would really be appreciated! I have a lot of this stored away, but if you guys like it, then I'll definitely keep posting! :33 Thanks for taking the time to read!

Welcome

Nepeta woke up in a cold sweat... Again? She wasn't quite positive which was worse, having such abhorrant dreams or waking up to a harsher reality. She cringed and curled up as small as she possibly could, as she reminisced the good times she had experienced before now, and her eyes fell somewhat downcast at the realisation that, well, they seemed so far away. They were so hopelessly far from where she was now... She had dreamed it all, of her friends' deaths, of her being rejected by everyone (although she wasn't sure how unrealistic that one was), she had dreamed about being defenseless against a great multitude of things coming to rip away her friends and what little happiness she had... And this time it had been the worst. She had again seen her faithful moirail, but his usual warm gaze had been chilled towards her as he fought heroically against an appalling creature that was attacking... Aradia. Her screams and cries were futile, as were her defensive maneuvers, as the monster quite visibly, painfully, and physically ripping her to shreds, although once on the inside already finding a heart that had been shattered far before any plague like this had surfaced. Nepeta once again had awoken in tears, although she had to admit she was glad no scream had escaped her troubled lips...

She had been thinking about how little she had recognised she meant to everyone, how insignificant her role was in all of their lives. As it was, Nepeta was hardly able to earn a second glance from most of her friends in recent weeks... months... And each politely, or not-so-politely, denied request had felt like a knife in her chest, a feeling which frankly she had been yearning for for quite some time now. She searched somewhat frantically for a clock, to check what time it was. 4:27 am, no one could possibly be awake. As she sat up from the couch and began to move towards the stairs, she felt how painful even moving was, feeling like she was a creaking old machine just waiting to be put out of its endless agony. She stared forlornly up the stairwell, considering her possibilities with an aching head and a throbbing heart.

Trudging up them slowly, she hung a left on the top floor into the empty room she reluctantly called her own. No sign of John, Karkat or Eridan, which was exactly what she needed... Her breathing began to shallow as she lifted her line of sight painfully to the window. She almost grief-strickenly swaggered over to it, and stared far, far down to the ground below. "Nepeta," she thought, "you can't be serious..." even though her subconscious was just as sorrow-drowned as her external impulses. She could feel herself, every fiber of her being, quaking nervously as she considered.

Thinking of all the terrible things she had been a part of, all the sadness she had unwillingly, and occasionally willingly, caused, she leaned up against the windowpane, staring with empty and inanimate eyes down to the ground that beckoned her. What good was she, really, to everyone...? She heavily took into consideration all of the good things in her life, as fickle as her heart was trying to filter through the bad to find them, and she felt guilty and puzzled... Were there really that many? Who loved her, really? Equius...? Well, she was even unsure of her loyal moirail as of late, and she was sure confronting him would only end in tragedy for the both of them... Eridan...? Well, she cringed as she thought of his wonderful smile... when he was around her good friend the gemini. "Whatever you do," she thought, "leave him happy... He deserves to finally be happy." as he stood for what seemed like hours and mused, she finally decided that the bad far, far outweighed the good...

Her short and choppy breaths grew more and more struggled as she reached out with a shaky hand and unlocked the window... After scrawling out a simple and shaky ":33 you're welcome..." on a piece of paper, she stood once again facing her ultimate fate. She, with a heavy heart, (but not for long), climbed up onto the windowsill, her arms outstretched.

Nepeta had never felt so empty... So excited, so terrified, so lonely, so relieved... As she stood there, tears brimming on her delicate lashes and streaming down her once life-filled face, she wondered to herself about any regrets she had. There were obviously things that she had wanted to experience, happy memories that flooded out in rememberance in the form of tears... But she knew that it wouldn't matter at all in... in...
"You won't be able to cause anyone any more regret... very soon."

She didn't know what she wanted to do, step off, step back in, end it all, try desperately to fix anything, but if there was one thing Equius had ever taught her... It was to be strong. She inched ever closer to the edge that spelled her demise, and she tipped herself gracefully off.

But the milisecond she did, she turned frantic. She was falling. Nepeta was going to die. She started hyperventilating, sobbing and reaching up towards the window hopelessly. "no... No no no no NO!" she could even see some of the green tears floating in droplets above her, as she thought of how there would be all kinds of tears shed... Wouldn't there? Indigo, red, or... Violet... "I-I'm so sorry." she whispered right as the impact occurred.

Lying there, fractured, feeling like she had landed on shards of glass, she could see the green spilling around her, as she stared for the last time at the place she called home. She felt relieved, perhaps she could comfort her friends as a soft whisper of a breeze, in memories, somehow... She smiled, thinking of everything and everyone she loved, as it all faded to black.