Author's Note: ….aaaand here it is. The long-awaited McSwarek reunion.
As always, thanks so much to those who have reviewed/followed/favorited this. Honest feedback means a lot!
Chapter 27: Mulligan
Now that he knows she's safe, a good mix of excitement and butterflies takes over from the gnawing fear. He can't keep the grin off his face, and he actually finds himself whistling as he strips down and heads into the shower. Good thing no one's around or Peck wouldn't be the only one thinking he's gone soft.
Andy and Nick burst through the front door on a wave of energy after a long day of sitting through exhaustive and repetitive debriefing interviews.
"When do you think everyone will be back?" Nick asks, eyes sweeping the room.
McNally catches the way his posture stiffens and follows his gaze to where Sam and Gail are standing instead of answering.
Sam's breath catches as he drinks in the sight of her. She looks thin, with pronounced dark circles and an underlying paleness. But her cheeks are flushed with excitement to match the brightness in her eyes. She's clearly riding a strong adrenaline high. Sam's last two UC assignments might have been cut short, but he's been through enough victories to remember the feeling well.
He watches as her eyes widen and fill with nervousness as she catches sight of him. She stops frozen in her tracks as well. Finally her mouth twitches up on one side. She looks at him exactly the way she had when she'd come back the last time and he'd asked how they should start. So, not unaffected at least. That's good, right?
Then she realizes he's holding a sign, and focuses on reading it. This time it says "I LOVE YOU" instead of "DUMMY."
(Yeah, Peck had given him a lot of crap about that, even after he told her the inside story. She even said he was a bigger sap than Diaz, but he didn't care. He wasn't about to risk starting with a joke this time, or that she'd just brush past him before he can say anything at all, for that matter)
Her posture relaxes when it sinks in that he's not giving her the cold shoulder, and she manages a real, if slightly shaky, smile as she walks closer.
"Hey," she says softly.
"Hey," Sam manages to say back, ditching the sign.
She scuffs a foot on the floor nervously, takes a deep breath and decides to lead with the case. It's probably a mistake now just like it was a mistake to lead with apologies about Dale when she really wanted to comfort him about Jerry. But she can't help herself.
She looks up and meets his eyes again, rocking up onto her toes to blurt out with hopeful excitement, "We got your white whale, Sam." She can't repress the proud grin accompanying the news either.
Sam just stares at her blankly. "My…" The Connolly syndicate is the white whale that's been preoccupying him for weeks, but McNally would have no way of knowing that, so he's not following her. Then his eyes widen and he chokes out, "Wait, you mean Anton Hill? Andy…."
She nods enthusiastically, before catching the dawning worry and anger in his expression and tone. She raises a calming hand, "Wait, wait. Before you get mad, Nick and I weren't doing anything directly connected to him, I swear. We were working a source in the organization that was trying to become his new heroin supplier. An anonymous tip about the possible new alliance led the higher ups to set up the task force to try to take down both organizations by getting the newcomers first and then trying to flip them to rat out Anton too."
"Anonymous tip, huh?" Sam rolls his eyes.
"What, you think you know who it was?" Andy asks. "No one could figure that out."
"Oh, I might have a couple ideas," Sam says dryly, not elaborating. He's pretty sure this smacks of a classic Catherine Connolly move to belatedly get full vengeance for Sarah. But there must be some other reason they decided Anton Hill was dispensable. Most likely this new organization had plans to eventually take over instead of just supplying him.
Andy decides to let it pass for now, "Anyway, I almost backed out when I was briefed on who Dakota was after, but Luke said our handler was someone you've worked with successfully. Someone with lots of experience running undercover ops, that he knew you trusted more than anyone. So once I thought it through, I really wanted to do it. I wanted to finally make up for blowing your cover. I know you don't blame me for that anymore, but I do. I needed to do it for me. So that I could stop feeling like a screw up, stop being defensive about my abilities. Can you understand that?"
When Sam nods, she continues, "I decided to do it if I was sure I'd never run into anyone on Anton's crew who might recognize me. So…" she takes a deep, fortifying breath, "I'm sorry, Sam. But I had to tell my handler about Emily and having run into Hill before in uniform with you. I figured he had to be the one who taught you not to card CIs in the first place. I didn't think it was selling you out, and he said he wouldn't tell Luke unless some sort of conflict about whether Nick and I were at risk came up. Which it didn't," she added, eyes wide. "Was I… did I have your back enough?" she asks, nervously before biting her bottom lip and waiting for him to say something.
Sam expels a breath, looking down at his feet as he tries to take it all in, keep his cool and keep his professional hat on for a minute. He looks up and asks, "Was it Tom Bradley running you two?" When she nods, he continues, "OK. Yeah, he's solid. Probably the best on the force, in fact. He's always had my back, and he would never have let you go under if he thought there was any chance you'd end up at a meet with Anton or any of his guys. So, you were OK trusting him."
God, it was still so risky. Not even Tom can think of all the ways things could suddenly go wrong. Sam could have easily lost her. He's not sure whether he's glad he didn't know what she was up to, or pissed that he couldn't intervene and pull her out before Tom let her take this on. Since it's done, he manages for now to just say, "But you know you didn't have anything to prove to me, right?"
Andy shrugs, but looks pleased. "I guess. But like I said, I needed to fix it for me, so that I could finally leave it behind me. Anyway, Tom told me not to contact you or let you know anything about what I was doing. I thought he was right that it would probably make you worry too much. Otherwise I would have broken the rules this time. I… I regretted leaving things the way they were almost as soon as I was gone. I just…." she blows a breath up in the direction of her bangs. "I was too hurt and angry at the time to let things go and try again, I guess," she shrugs.
"And now?" he asks softly. "Because I was sort of wondering, McNally, if you might still be willing to give me a mulligan?" he extends a hand toward her the same way she had in that warm wet parking lot after their first full shift together. He's pretty sure he's looking at her the same way he had that night too.
Andy sucks in a breath, and her eyes fly wide as she recognizes her code word. She searches his eyes to make sure he means what she thinks he does, before taking his hand and drifting one step closer, giggling a little, "Well, it took you long enough to ask."
Sam winces, and acknowledges, "I know. I uh, I didn't hear your message until after you left. But in my defense, I woke up every day since I heard it wanting to ask the right question. It just took you a while to get back," he gives her a sad grin.
She ducks her head in contrition. "Yeah, I know. If it makes a difference, I missed you every single day this time too. Are you sure you're not mad again?" she asks, searching his eyes.
"No," he shakes his head. ""Well, maybe I was at first. But I get why you did it. And… Maybe we needed some time apart to figure a few things out," he shrugs. "A lot happened while you were away. I'm sure that's true for you too. And I want to talk, really talk. About all of it. About all the things we just swept under the rug before," he rubs his thumb over her knuckles, trying for just enough physical contact to persuade her to say yes.
"OK. Good. I think I'm ready for that too," she says softly with a nod.
Sam flashes her a relieved smile. "Good. But listen. I meant everything I said before you left. I didn't get the timing or the content of that speech right, and I want to do this right this time. I don't want it to be rushed or in our workplace with people we work with likely to walk in any minute. You're still on an adrenaline rush, but you're gonna crash soon. So… How about you celebrate tonight with the roo-, with your friends. Then get a good night's rest tonight. I'd like to make you dinner at my place tomorrow night. We can talk and try to figure out where things stand then. Sound OK?"
"Yeah," she says around a relieved breath. "Yeah, I'd like that," she smiles at him.
Sam gives her a big dimply grin back, "OK then," he pulls gently on the hand he was still holding. "While we wait for everyone to come back, there's someone I'd like you to meet," he lets go of her hand as she's propelled forward, and places a hand in the small of her back as they head back toward the break room.
He clears his throat as they walk in the door, and his dad gets to his feet.
Andy's eyes saucer wide open, darting between the two of them.
Sam just nods to silently confirm her guess.
Andy's expression morphs from shock into an impish grin. She shoots a flirty look under her lashes at Ray before stepping forward with her hand extended. "Hmm, Sam never told me he knows George Clooney," she teases.
Sam shoots a worried look at Ray, not sure he'll get the reference, but Ray waves him off impatiently behind his back as he throws back his head on an appreciative laugh, "You must be Andy," he takes her hand and shoots Sam a glance. "You didn't tell me what a charming flirt she is."
Sam rolls his eyes. "She only flirts that way with harmless old guys like you."
"Ha!" Ray barks in mock offense.
"Oh, my mistake. Of course, you must be his brother," Andy continues her teasing flattery, seeing that Sam is half pleased, half miffed.
"Oh, I like this girl," Ray says, shooting a smug look at his son.
"Yeah, I'm sure," Sam rolls his eyes. "Andy, this is my father. Dad, this is Andy McNally," Sam finally manages to make the introductions.
"It's a true pleasure to meet you, Andy McNally. One thing my son didn't leave out is how beautiful your smile is," he pauses to look over at Sam and enjoy the blush creeping over his son's cheeks.
Andy raises a brow, "Oh really?" she teases before breaking into a wider, pleased smile. "Well, I'm very happy to finally meet you too."
Sam clears his throat, "Yeah, yeah. If you're done trying to show me up here, wasn't there something you wanted to ask Andy, Dad?" Sam prompts.
"Buzz kill," Ray shoots him a mock glare. "You fall for a beautiful woman, you gotta get used to men, even geezers like me, trying to make her smile." He turns back to Andy, "But he's right, I did have something to ask. I know the two of you have a lot to catch up with tomorrow. But assuming my son doesn't screw that up, I would be honored if you would come along with him to have dinner at my house Friday night."
Sam snorts, "Thanks for the vote of confidence there, Dad," but he smiles anyway at how pleased Andy seems about the whole situation. He's relieved that this wasn't too much to spring on her already.
And Andy does look really touched actually. She's even tearing up a bit when she glances at Sam before turning back to answer Ray, "I'd love that. Thank you for the invitation. Can I bring anything?"
"No, no. Just yourself. And promise to hear this one out. He may have a couple rough edges, but his heart is in the right place," Ray smiles at her, giving her hand a last pat before letting it go.
"Alright, you've had enough fun at my expense. Time to go, Dad. We'll see you on Friday," he shoots a pointed look at his dad, but he mouths a thank you his way.
That seems to jolt Andy, "Oh my gosh. It's so late. Did you wait around just to meet me? That's… Thank you!" she launches herself first at Ray then at Sam, giving them each a short, fierce hug. "I.. Thank you for not giving up on me yet," she says swiping at stray tear.
Sam swallows a lump in his throat, "Never," he says softly. "It took me a little while, but I'm not giving up without a fight this time."
Andy just nods, too choked up to speak. Sam can see that part of the reason she's getting emotional is that the adrenaline is starting to wear off. He hears the members of the take down team starting to pour in from the Sally port anyway. It sounds like chaos in booking too.
"Listen, are you sure you're up to celebrating tonight? I can take you home if you're tired and want to wait for all of that…."
But Andy straightens and seems to catch a bit of a second wind. "Thanks. Really. But it's been so long… I think I want to go along to the Penny at least for a while if Traci and the rest can wrap up before too long."
"OK. Dad, why don't you head out, and I'll keep Andy company until her friends are ready to go. Thanks for coming by," he adds, clapping Ray on the shoulder.
"My pleasure. I didn't want to wait any longer to finally meet your girl. Andy, I look forward to seeing you again on Friday. Congratulations on your taskforce going well. We're both very relieved you're back safe and sound," he gives her shoulder a squeeze.
"Me too," And smiles back at him. "I'll see you Friday. Thanks again for coming by to invite me."
Andy looks at Sam with her heart in her eyes. She's still a little wary, but tonight went better than she ever dreamed it would. It was a good start at least. "You've changed," she say softly. "It means a lot that you wanted me to meet him. No matter how much I missed you and wanted to believe you were finally ready for…" she huffs a breath. "I don't think I could take it again if I thought you were still going to stay closed off."
Sam nods, "I know. And I am ready. But you have to meet me halfway. I wasn't the only one who picked and chose which sensitive topics I was willing to share and be open about, you know."
Andy nods, "Yeah, I know. I never thought it was all your fault that things didn't turn out exactly the way we hoped. Even after you broke it off. But it nearly broke me when you shut me out completely," she blinked away the tears before she started losing it completely.
"I'm sorry," Sam croaks out, pulling her into a hug. "I'll never do that again. I promise," he said firmly, kissing the top of her head.
"OK," she whispers. "But you better not break that promise, or I swear I'll kick your ass."
Sam chuckles, "Noted." He pulls back and looks her in the eye, "I won't let you down, Andy."
Before she can reply, Dov and Chris burst into the room, practically bouncing off the walls with the excitement of the big bust.
"Anton effing Hill! Rock 'n roll, McNally!" Dov hi fives her before pulling her into a bear hug.
"Yeah, the dealers you busted totally came through. You should have seen Anton Hill's face when he figured out they sold him out! It was so cool!" Chris chimes in. "You're big time now, Andy," he adds, bringing her in for his own hug.
"Even the Ice Queen was impressed. She might even stop yelling at Nick enough for him to get lucky tonight. Nothing gets Gail worked up like someone making a big bust," Dov waggles his brows.
"Hey, man. C'mon. That's not cool," Chris objects.
"Well, it's true. You know it is," Dov defends.
"Yeah, it kind of is," Chris admits. "But still…"
"Fine, fine. I won't say more about it. So, Andy, you ready to celebrate? The hero's par-tay is on for you guys at the Penny tonight," Dov enthuses.
"Umm, yeah," she laughs. "Can you just give me a minute?"
"Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry Swarek," Dov says.
"Yeah, sorry man. So we'll wait out front?" Chris asks.
Andy nods, then turns to Sam. "Sam, I…. I just want to say that it wouldn't have meant much if I came back and things were really over with us. So, thank you for waiting. I promise I'll try harder this time too."
"OK. Go have fun," he nods toward the door. "Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow," She nods back. "First day of the rest of our lives," she smiles, before heading after the boys, turning back for one last long look before walking through the door.
AN: So, there you have it. I finally delivered the happy ending. Before the final crush of the Holiday Season too.
Hope it was worth the wait. Thanks for coming along with me on this made up Swarek journey of self discovery. I can't wait to see what the pros come up with for him in season 4.
For those who still want more about how they do the hard work of rebuilding things, I'd recommend some other excellent fics, like rookieD's 8 Days of Boo/House of Boo or snapple79's Wooing of stories. I'm sure there's several more good ones I haven't gotten a chance to read yet too. (There is some chance I'll come back and add an epilogue to this. But I'm not promising anything at this point.)