Meeting Mom

Rose had hoped she'd be able to avoid introducing Kanaya to her mother. The elder Lalonde had pestered her on several occasions about having her alien lover over for dinner, but Rose had few qualms about denying her mother's scientific curiosity and Kanaya, bless her, had very little interest in meeting her "Adult Human Lusus". Apparently such a thing is actually quite unusual in troll culture. Kanaya even expressed worry about Rose being raised by an adult member of her species and, though she does her best to hide it, is even visibly uncomfortable about her spending holidays and the occasional weekend at her mother's house.

It never occurred to Rose that her mother would take the initiative to come visit their shared hive. It never occurred to her that her mother, drunk off her ass and having very little respect for her daughters privacy would forgo knocking and immediately open the door, step into the front room and yell Roses name. Or rather drunkenly slur it at high volume. And it certainly never occurred to her that she'd do it while Rose was bent over naked in the next room with Kanaya teasing her entrance with her bulge.

As it turns out, Kanaya had been downplaying exactly how unusual it is for a troll of merely eight sweeps, or in Roses case a human of seventeen years, to interact with an adult. Because the very moment Roses mother made her presence known, Rose went from bent over the edge of a coffee table to huddled in the arms of a fangs bared, wild eyed, hissing Kanaya, hunched up uncomfortably with jade green claws digging into her sides deep enough to draw blood. Had she not been so shocked by the sudden change she'd have made a mental note to have Kanaya either file those things down or institute and no ass grabbing policy. It was bad enough having scratches down her back.

To be fair, Rose couldn't really blame her mother for reacting the way she did. When you walk into a room only to be presented with your ass naked daughter, bleeding from punctures in her side, being held down by a snarling, fanged, clawed alien, who then proceeds to jump at you with the clear intent of ripping out your throat, a human being is going to respond in one of two ways. Fight or Flight.

Rose was completely unsurprised to see her mother taze Kanaya midair.

Fifteen minutes later, a fully dressed Rose sat across from her mother in the kitchen, an unconscious Kanaya lying on the couch in the next room.

"That's a very, um, possessive partner you've found for yourself dear" Her mother says with her characteristic smug grin.

"You could have called ahead you know. That's actually kind of the point of calling ahead, so you don't catch loved ones in embarrassing and/or potentially life threatening situations."

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Knocking, even, would have sufficed."

Rose gave her grinning mother a withering look. She responded by nonchalantly sipping from her martini, leading Rose to wonder just where the hell she got that. They didn't even own any martini glasses!

"And for that matter, why exactly did you feel the need to show up with a taser powerful enough to knock out a troll?"

Rose's mother silently rises and begins picking around the kitchen, gathering pots, pans, and food supplies.

"I am sorry about that, but what would you have me do? Now why don't you go check on Kanaya dear? I'll make you two dinner to make up for it."

Rose knew arguing would do her no good. Her mother was latched on like a tick to a dog. A severely alcoholic tick, on a dog with a high blood alcohol level.

It was going to be a long night.