The following story is a Gen-swap parody omake of one of my ongoing OC fics My Fairy. It has no real connection to My Fairy's storyline and can be read just as a stand-alone short story. You'll notice the names of the canon Fairy Tail characters have all been changed to make them sound more feminine or masculine (since it's hard to picture them like that if we used their normal names I guess).

Naturally this story is bound to cause offence in some people. Just like how I don't claim to own Fairy Tail, I don't claim to be a woman and understand everything about the opposite sex. But please just treat this story like you would any other piece of fiction and not take it too seriously. This is merely a self-parody and Fairy Tail parody.

The first chapters a pilot, taken from chapter 32 of My Fairy just so you can sort of understand the context. Okay I hope you enjoy!

~My Fairette~

Agh...What a splendid Sunday morning to wake up to. The sun peers through the blinds like thin rays of joy and hope. The birds sing out their regular tunes, hoping to score another date for their next romp. Quiet chatter fills the streets below my apartment as the townsfolk slow down their pace in the busy pace of life for once. Yeah, I feel a big gulp of awesome rising in my chest today.

Speaking of, oh nothing, I thought I felt a little heavier down on my back but it's nothing...

"Hmm, these jeans fitted me alright yesterday?" I passively mutter to myself as I slip on my everyday attire (for some reason I felt compelled to devote a paragraph to describing every article of my clothing, did I normally find that necessary?)

Well anyway, I persisted in getting the jeans to rise past my hips and snug into their position. Ironically, the fly was pretty simple to do up though.

"*Yawn* I feel a bit lighter and springer today!" I continue offering comfort noise to myself as I perched down on the table to a homemade breakfast of Tenrou Quail Eggs on Toast. "*Hmm* *Nom* *Nom*" Now that's a little strange too; was I always this vocal when eating food?

"HnnnnnGrreeeyyaaahh!" Uttering a strange squeal, I stretch my arms out as I ready myself to leave for a fairly laid back day at the office (by which I mean the guild of course!). Getting ready to leave however took a bit longer than usual, there was this one particular stray hair that just would NOT sit down with the others (kaw!).

Twenty-three and a quarter minutes later I shut the door of my apartment behind me. The shoes felt too damp and smelly so I went for some light sandals instead. I also found a light fitting black shirt which showed off three quarters of my arms. My jeans were sky blue and had been bleached at the front and slightly frayed on the hems (unintentional though). Oh and I kept my hair flattened and slightly teasing along my shoulders today. Without even consultant the mirror today, I knew my eyes were glistening with a coral blue colour. Also, my skin felt really smooth and moist today, which is great because with the whole being a Master of Guild thing lately, I had been breaking out everywhere which I really did NOT want to have a break out.

"Ah...And with that paragraph I can leave with confidence and flare." I smile to myself as I turn away from my door. When I twirl around, I catch my next door neighbour out the corner of my eye as she begins to leave for work as well. "Oh hey Lucy, looks like we both slept in today like shleurgh?"

My colourful heart is soon dyed sour grey as I discover the person standing outside Lucy's door is definitely NOT Lucy. Though he somehow managed to acquire her white tanktop (you know the one with the blue cross on it?), blue frilled skirt, ¾ shin high boots, whip and keyset, this guy was definitely not gonna pass off as a Lucy cosplayer anytime soon. I mean come on! He's got a stubble and furry monsters hiding under his armpits. For the sake of decency I just CANNOT let this man get away with this!

"Excuse me sir. But do you have some business with Lucy or something?" I walk over and poke the slob on the chest. With a flick of his (I'll admit somewhat convincing) blonde wig he answers me, grumbling with a deep voice.

"Benny, it is me! I'm Lucy."

"OHOHOHOHOHO!" Suddenly the man's works cause me to break out in a princess laugh, holding the back of my palm to my mouth as I face him with a mocking glare. "Nice try creep, but if anyone wants to take advantage of my neighbour, they have to get past me first! And I can scream pretty loud if I have to you know!"

But the guy just wouldn't let up as he continued arguing with me. "But I AM Lucy. Look at my crest." The bloke holds out his chunky hands revealing the Fairy Tail crest on his right palm. "Something terrible has happened to us." He relayed with a long frown.

But those beady eyes weren't going to convince me. "Look mate I don't have time to waste with your little games. So just take your weird Lucy fanclub elsewhere or something." Shooing him off with the swat of my hand, I tap down the stairs and make a brisk exit, eager to make it to work at least...fashionably late ;)

XOXOXO

"Hi Mr Jenkins~!" "Oh good morning Mr and Mrs. Pucklepie, I'll make sure to grab some scrumptious scones off you later – ease up on the butter though I try to work it off but :P" "Hey Oscar, where's your little sister? I hope you didn't break her dollhouse again." "Oh wait a sec Mrs. Forstone, I'll carry those bag of Oranges to your cart." "Wow, how's it going Blacksmith Stubbs, you've worked up those muscles with all the new jobs lately haven't you?"

As I went on my commute to work, I kept on getting sidetracked with various people I knew from some guy who knew some other guy who knew them. As my normally twenty minute walk turned into an hour and a half adventure, I finally reached the gates of the Fairy Tail guild. Unfortunately, a face I'd rather not claim to be acquainted with was loitering outside the front gate.

"Right Mister, I'm going to have to call the police if you keep trying to-" I noticed one of his partner's in crime was standing next to him. My sour heart was now being coiled in bard wire laced with tar as I discovered one of his mates seemed to be from the Wendy fanclub. Though smaller in stature, slimmer and a bit less repulsive than his friend, I could not bear to see Wendy's great image turned into this insulting parody.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?" I snap out at them with my hands waving in the air. "Look just where exactly do you fogeys get off dressing up in women's clothing and on top of that, impersonating Wendy and Lucy in almost every way and mannerism.

The younger boy turned to me with a devastated frown. "Ben-san. Don't you realise? This is me and Lucy-san! Something has happened to our bodies and now we look like this."

"Tsk. And I bet you even brought that flying cat which look like Charles along with you just to make your fraudulent scheme even more authentic yeah?"

The cat which looked like Charles levitated down to my eye level and scratched my nose (my precious nose!) "You ditz! How dare you speak to Wendy like that!"

"You BITCH!" At that point it was officially on as I went straight for the feisty kitty's jugular, my naturally long claws extended as I lashed out at her, barely missing as she flew up out of my range. "Oh you're not the only one with claws Miss Kitty!"

"Do I always have to scratch some sense in to you?" The feisty feline flew down for the second air raid as she dived down with her claws aimed. I dodged but she clipped my legs, tearing the left leg of my jeans, giving them a Summer's alteration.

"My one and only pair of jeans. RAWWWR!" No that was actually me as I curled my claws snapping up at the air as the cat which looked an awfully lot like Charles snickered down at me.

"HYAH! HYAH! HYAH!" As she broke through my curled eyelashes' sight several more times, she somehow managed to make several more tears through my nice clothing, one long slash through the front of my shirt just below my chest and another two just at the lower half of my back. Normally my clothes don't seem to get damaged this easily but this cat must have some really sharp talons I guess.

"Ben-san, Charles! Please stop fighting!" Finally intervening in this valuable clothes destroying melee, the young boy with medium length blue hair stepped in and broke us up. "Please stop fighting you two."

"Ben-san, Charles! Please stop fighting!" Hang on that sounds familiar. "Okay, now I'm really starting to freak out. Just what the hell is going on here?"

"We would have explained it to you already if you weren't acting so ridiculous." Charles retorts as she falls back to eye level with her arms crossed. "Wendy and Lucy have somehow turned into the opposite sex."

"You mean like male and female?" I blink rapidly.

"Well what else would I be referring to?" Yep that's definitely Charles alright.

"Humph." I half turn back Tsundere style. "I see you haven't swapped genders then."

"What can I say, I guess Exceeds aren't affected." She answers with an arrogant smirk.

"What if everyone else in the guild has been affected?" Wendy (hang on can we just call him Wally or something for convenience sake?) - Wally cried out as the three of us stormed into the guild.

All of my nightmares must have combined into one freakish horror display at that moment.

"GRANIELLE YOU BITCH!"

"NATALIE I'LL KILL YOU TOO!"

"JAVIS WON'T LET YOU HARM HIS GRANIE-PIE!"

"COME ON, BE A WOMAN AND FACE ME!"

"*SSSHHLRPP* UGH KANE NEED MORE MEDICINE!"

"RIGHT YOU LOT SHUT UP OR I'LL CRUSH YOUR PRECIOUS SPINES!"

"KYAH! EDDIE SCARLET KOWAI-DESU NE!"

If I had a jewel for how many seconds my heart had literally stopped beating from shock, I could flee this boat and live on some uninhabited Island – never having to witness the disaster that had come to fruition.

Natalie was still holding breathing out small puffs of smoke as she went over to me. "Hey you're late Benny- ugh oh-"

"Why is everyone so...so...WHY IS EVERYONE LIKE THIS!-!-?-?" I scream in my total angst at the situation I've been left to deal with. Where's my Advisor half nephew when I need him.

"Ugh, you called Hunty?" Huh? Wasn't I your 'Hunky' before?

"Yes Laxus I-GWAH!" I reeled back as I discovered my older half-nephew had a major operation of his own, with flowing blonde hair and a shirt tied up to her chest daisy dukes style. I was staring at none other than Lexus Dreyer!

"Looks like we've all swapped genders Mistress Benita." Miraja – a I mean Mirajohn explained to me as he walked over; for a guy though he still looked kinda cute.

"Why are you calling me that?" I shout out still very confused and somewhat scared. "Natsu – I mean Natalie and Granielle, are you up to this-HEY WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING OVER THERE!"

With her pink locks draping over the Ice Maiden's soft glistening flesh, the two of them turned to me with rather elegant expressions on their lips. "We just felt like doing this for some reason."

"Noo! Javis will not have Granie-pie in a Yuri love scene!" The high testosterone water bruiser came stomping over, bashing his fists down on the table as Granielle and Natalie skipped away in a fright.

"Hagh. Noone ever asked how I was going." Eating a bowl of Special K (get it because K is the chemical symbol for Potassium and he eats – oh forget it!), a grupmy old hag whinged with his black cat by the corner.

"SHUT UP GAJELLE YOU DICK!" And I kid you not everyone in the guild shouted that one out in unison.

"Ohohoh *sob* even if you're a man, we still love you Levis-chan!" Jetsy and Droysy sobbed over by the other corner of the room, hovering over a three-quarter midget bloke with blue dreads.

"Ahehe, well I could probably get used to the harem." Levis giggled weakly as the tears rained down on his dreads.

"I guess those 'Gender Swapping flavoured Brownies we ate last night really packed a punch eh Miss?" Natalie suggested as she rolled her slender arms, not to disturbed by the awful amount of side-boob appearing out of her vest.

"That was just a name!" I swat a hand in cynicism. "And why are you calling me like that too?"

"Haven't you noticed yet Benita-gal?" Granielle put her hands to her hips Her shirt suddenly disappearing revealing all her glaciers.

"PLEASE COVER UP BEFORE!" Needless to say every girl (by which I mean guy or wait did I actually mean oh geez) fell down with a near fatal nosebleed.

Also needless to say. We wouldn't be seeing any more of Javis in this chapter...

"Yeah, you came all this way here without even realising?" Eddie clinked over, his muscles rippling as the armour barely contained his hunky mass. And those piercing eyes...I think I was about to have a crush on this man.

"Now that you mention it, I have been acting a little weirder than usual." I press a hand to my lip, then keep it there for a few seconds, look up shyly at the camera then roll my eyes away. "But could what you all be suggesting is – "

The blonde Laddy formerly Lucy threw a smelly and hairy arm over my shoulder, breathing into my ear. "You're a chick too."

"A-re?" Curious I take a peek down my shirt and try to find Exhibit A of this evidence. "But my chest is still flat, I can't be a girl! I just CANNOT be a girl if I have a flat chest!"

I squealled a little when I felt Granielle and Natalie squeezing my lower cheeks. "You've got quite a nice ass on you though Benita-gal!"

"Please stop squeezing there. It's very tender." I plead with single tears streaming down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry this had to happen to you too Ben-san." The polite young boy Wally expressed his sympathy. "But even you were unfortunately not immune to the disease."

"What disease? I only ate like eight or maybe nine of those brownies last night but still..." When those two pesky girls finally left my butt-cheeks alone I consulted the rest of my body. Feeling down my side, it seems my body went from a ruler to a spoon-shaped figure overnight. "Hang on...What about my legs?" Yep, those thighs are disproportionately rounder than the rest of the legs. "Okay I'm not convinced until I..." Squinting my eyes, I shoo away all the potentially perverted girls who are now guys and just in case the guys who are now girl still hold those instincts too I shoo them away too.

[SCENE OMITTED]

"Okay, maybe I should have just looked at my face in the mirror." Feeling rather ashamed that I will never get married now, I grab a mirror from Mirajohn as I gaze at the person who now stares before me.

With dinner plate eyes, ridiculously long lashes, and thick pursing lips, I squeal with holy terror, shattering the mirror as I finally came to the conclusion...

"I'VE TURNED INTO A FREAKING WOMAN!"

/?/?/?/

Meanwhile somewhere in Magnolia, Darian and Yoshiki looked up and faced each other.

"I think the Mistress is calling out for us again..."

You still here? Great then there's plenty more where that came from. Stay tuned for the next chapter...