What is the first memory people have? How long ago was it? It's suppose most people can remember back when they were three or four or five if they try their best. But those are the humans. The trolls seem to have the ability to remember parts of their lives from the moment they hatch from the caverns. Troll history and biology explains that it helped the trolls remember the 'trials' they faced as grubs to help mold their future decisions. While not every troll remembers what happens right after they hatched, you recall more than you would ever care to.

For starters, you felt something that you were too young to describe at the time. Sensations that filled you up and made you want to run around biting and scratching everything. Later you recognize the emotion of anger. Rage. Fury. The grub's body system fills with adrenaline to face the 'trials' that would be immediately faced. When the trolls landed on Earth and the humans 'encouraged' their own morals on them, the aftereffects were not fully considered. So what does a newly hatched grub with no way to rid of their adrenaline do?

They fight everything.

Which is exactly what you did.

You use your newly developed horns to crack open your eggshell. Your eyes slowly blink away the goo as you take in the cavern. Hundreds of thousands of other little grubs are doing their best to get out of their own shell. Some that make it drop far below, others couldn't even open their shells. The lucky few that managed to stay in their broken shell are picked off the ceiling by adult trolls.

You remember them being the most beautiful creatures at first glance. The one that picks you off had dark, dazzling green eyes that examined you as she pulls you away. She transfers you off to a line with other female trolls carrying other grubs of different colors. You try to bite her face off, but she only restrains you in her arms. You crane back behind to see other trolls disposing of the failed grubs.

Looking back into this memory, you realized that some of the trolls destroyed some grubs of bright red color, but they didn't even look like most of the other grubs. But the most surprising of all was a tiny grub that rested in the arms of a troll and stared straight up at his caretaker. She immediately dropped the grub to the floor as she held her head in agonizing pain. The grub scurried away, but not too far as a different troll smashed it under her foot; releasing the pained troll.

And you didn't understand any of it.

You decide to turn back to your vessel to see her staring straight ahead, but she notices your look and squints down. "No funny business out of you, right?" You don't know how to respond. "Of course not."

A troll ahead of you starts a conversation, "You're not going to get the grub to talk yet, Mazalik."

"Mind your own business Giteck. I'm still jumpy from that blasted grub that forced the stalactite to fall and nearly kill me. I enjoyed smashing the little horror."

"You get a psychic in every batch. Don't let it spoil the others."

"I know. Hatching season is just stressful like always."

The other troll hums, "Agree, but what else can we do? Oh, did you hear about Teavick getting another half-blood?"

"She gets the worst luck, but I heard the Head Mothers are debating her career."

"They'll do anything to keep the Mother Grub from losing credit. Easier to say a caretaker fucked up then to say the Mother Grub chose the genetic material of a human and troll that fucked."

"Shush. Athag might hear." The other troll turns around with her grub to the line where you wait again.

Your troll brings you to the front of the line where a troll, presumably the oldest, looks at your body and presents a number to your troll. She hauls you through a corridor within the cavern where you see many different types of rooms. All containing grubs of similar colors. Some are packed with maroon grubs containing only a few troll caretakers. Then there are others that are less filled, but more trolls. And finally your room that is half filled with enough guardians. However you are able to look ahead to rooms with more caretakers than trolls. She settles you down with the other grubs and injects you with a calming serum. Afterwards she returns to her other work.

You spend your first sweep there. Growing up and learning basic behavior and motor skills. After a 'year,' as the humans call them, your troll body emerges from your grub form. The process is painful, bursting out of a skin shell, but you purge through it with grinding teeth as the caretakers watch you. The rest of the sweep is used to adapt you to your new body. In the end, the caretakers take you to a door leading to the wilderness.

"This is where you'll find you lusus," one of them tells your blood class. "As you head out we'll give you your symbol and then you're on your own. If you die from hunger, thirst or another lusus kills you, then you're dead. We're not here to help you anymore. Now come up for your symbol; there's no turning back now." She holds a bundle of black tee shirts ready. You watch as others ahead of you get their own symbols and run off in various directions. When you reach the front, you're not sure if you're ready.

You turn up to the caretaker, she looks down on you, "Don't be a disappointment. This symbol is chosen for you by the stars. Your lusus will give you your name and shape your life. Here." You're given your first article of clothing that completely belongs to you and you alone. A simple, black shirt with a cerulean colored M with a speared end on the right. You turn back to the barren waste land awaiting you. "Go to the Land of the Lusus." You take the first steps of your life.

After a whole day of wandering around and avoiding low blood lusus, your journey comes to an end. At first you thought you'd been fucked, you had slipped into an underground trap. With only the hole as a source of light, and you then see a gigantic spider lusus in front of you. Your first instinct is to flee but you're trapped in a web. You hold your breath as the lusus brings its jaws close to you. It sniffs you a little before backing off. And somehow a mental connection is made between the two of you. No one is able to explain the feeling to someone who has not experienced it, but it is one of the most intense sensations anyone could feel. It is a joy some trolls have that no other creature can take away. This is your lusus. Your guardian though life.

You continue to watch your own lusus, and life immediately starts to be clearer.

Your name is Vriska Serket and you are now making your journey to your new home traveling beside your lusus. You're completely nervous on how to behave. Sure you belong with each other and many things have become more understandable, but your 'spidermom' did try to eat you a few minutes ago. Should you stay cautious? Give a friendly pat? The caretakers never told you enough apparently.

You look back at your lusus; she seems dead set on one particular location. You wonder if you could ride on her back. You're tired and you've seen other trolls do it. Cautiously, you lift a hand toward her direction. The spider lusus stops immediately and stares you down dismissing your idea. You go back to walking in silence.

In many ways, you have a smart lusus. She picked a large abandoned building with an abyss nearby for her to slumber. Some food, water and furniture within the structure. Not many other trolls live around. After growing up surrounded by them, you could use a break.

You spend some time exploring your hive, your settlement. There's not much to do except dream and listen to your lusus. Occasionally a troll looking for their lusus will wander around to be captured by your lusus. You stopped watching her eat after the first experience.

You're going to need to find some trolls on your own soon. Your lusus keeps nagging you to find her live trolls. She can't continue to survive on the few trolls that wander into her path.

Well you suppose she could, but this is her test for you. A chance to prove that you're good enough to be her troll. Tough enough. The thought of harming another troll hasn't occurred to you since you hatched. You don't think this sort of action is necessary. Spidermom seems capable enough on her own. Are you even good enough? You remember the other trolls you passed by, when they got their lusus they looked confident. Pleased. Like there is no doubt in their mind that they are with the right lusus. You turn down to your lusus in the abyss; she gives a menacing glare before returning to an old meal. She doesn't look at you like you're worthy. You aren't worthy, and you know the consequences. Can you take the chance and kill another troll? All in all it will delay the time until you are unable to find her food. You honestly can't see this lasting as a permanent solution. She'll just get hungrier, and you'll just get more tired.

But. But what if you get better? What if you prove to be the best troll you can be? The best troll she has ever had? Perhaps you can do it. You can succeed and live to your potential.

If anything has become clear at this point, it's that you have to at least try to kill a troll.

The task is simple enough. You pack enough food for a few days and head out to a hopefully close troll. You plan to lure them in with promises of food or excitement. A simple trick. The target will hopefully be easy.

You walk out to the plains. The sun is still high, but very isolated in the area. You take a break beside a small pond and bring water up to your face. When the water stills, you see yourself for the first time. There was no reflective material before in your life as the caretakers didn't find it necessary and your hive dull. So you just . . assumed you looked like the others. How wrong you were.

You tentatively bring a hand to your left eye. Seven pupils? What sort of mutation or trait is this? Then an idea comes to you, what if this connects you to your lusus? You both have eight pupils. Maybe you are compatible with your lusus. With greater confidence, you return on your search.

However, smoke rises back in the direction where your hive is. No one else is nearby. You run as fast as your legs can back.

It takes too long to get there. By the time you reach your destination fire has engulfed your hive. Strange creatures clad in rubber armor carry guns that breathe fire. They shoot the flames down into the abyss, and you can hear your lusus scream.

You cry out running to save her. One of the creatures pulls you from behind and wraps its hands around your body. "Is that your lusus?" You don't look up at its covered face but rather stare at the fire as your tears stream down. "I'll take that as a yes. It's okay. We have somewhere for you to stay." You do your best to tear away to no avail. "Stop it. There is no hope for that monster now."

Spidermom tries to climb away snarling at all the creatures. They back away but more flames shoot her. Your lusus starts to tremble and sway under the pressure until she falls back into the abyss.

Another creature walks up to your captor, "Sir, the level Eight monster is dead." You gasp loudly feeling immense pain. "Is this the troll?"

"Yes Lewis. Hold her while I dispose of the trash." It hands you to its associate bastard.

The new creature holds you gently and kneels to your level, "It's okay now. You'll be alright." It lies to you! Look at this beast lie straight to your face! "Blue blood huh? I know families that'll love to have you." It removes its helmet, and it's the strangest animal you've ever seen. Almost troll-like, but without horns, grey skin, sharp teeth, or yellow eyes.

"What are you?"

'He' smirks, "I guess you've never seen a human before. Sorry that this is your first experience. We'll take you to a care house in Skaia. Then you won't have to be all alone. Are you okay? Tired? Hungry? Thirsty?"

It dawns upon you that you'll never be able to prove yourself. You've failed the test without a real chance.

"What's your name?" he asks.

You puke all over his chest.