Chapter One

A young man stands alone next to a lake. Today he is 17 years 1 day old. What shall his name be?

== Zoosmell Pooplord

No, damnit. What kind of sick person would ever name a kid they just met that? Try again.

== John Egbert

Yes, that's the spirit. Your name is John Egbert, and as mentioned previously, yesterday was your 17th birthday. Your three best friends came to Washington to celebrate the occasion; Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley, and your best bro, Dave Strider. Rose came here from NY, Dave from Texas, and Jade from her island. All you knew was that Jade's grandpa had owned the island before he died, and that it was somewhere in the Pacific Ocean with a volcano. You couldn't thank them enough for their long journey over here. In agreement, they'd be staying at your house for a few months, mainly for the summer. You guys had even transferred into school together and everything!

It was going to be so much fun. Or at least you thought. Rose had lost her luggage with her diary, so she wasn't in a talkative mood. Yesterday she had greeted everyone, sat during your party, then absconded the second she was permitted. Dave had ironically forgotten his shades. Even though it was your birthday money, you bought him a pair of cheap ones.

Jade hadn't had any problems, not having to pack much or having to use public air travel.

Needless to say, today you were all supposed to have gone to school together, but the platinum blondes wouldn't stop mourning their losses; Rose rewriting some of her old entries, Dave saying he'd show up fashionably late. When it was just you and Jade, the pair or you got teased about looking so similar. Sure, she was technically related to you, but not too directly.

So now you were just out by the lake contemplating. Maybe all this hadn't been a good idea, and you should've continued your insufficient dance around all of this. Sending presents in advance, trying to meet deadlines, and not knowing each other in person. Maybe what you didn't know wouldn't have hurt you.

You cast the thought away a few seconds later. You wouldn't want that. Even if they get annoying or just downright mean, you were still thankful to have your best friends.

Your feet swish over the grass, still a little damp from this afternoon's sprinkle, and head back home.

"Sup?" is what greets you as you turn around to close the door.

"Not much." Dave is looking at you behind his sunglasses. For a moment you ponder his eye color, then forget about it because you could probably give less fucks.

You walk over and plop down on the couch next to him. "Are you going to school tomorrow?" Your tone is nonchalant.

"Yea I guess. But it's so damn cold in Washington. How the actual fuck are you supposed to leave the house without becoming a popsicle?"

"Daaaave." You whine. "You just have to get used to it, and buying warmer clothes isn't a bad option, either." You chuckle inwardly at that last one. Most of Dave's clothes were for hotter weather, him being for Texas and all.

He gives you the usual poker face and nods, returning to his laptop. Your eyes glance at what he's doing.

Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.

Figures.

"Where are the Jade and Rose?" The silence was getting a little too weird, so you decided bringing up members of the opposite sex would help.

Dave stops typing momentarily, thinking about the answer. "Probably in their room. Jade'll probably be doing her homework or whatever shit they gave to her at school. Will she even get homework this late in the year?" He sighs through his nose. "Rose is probably with her. Only the little goth is ape shit over making sure every last thought she's had has been documented. Like Jesus fuck, if I wrote down every good thing to come to mind I'd have to publish a never ending series. It'd almost as admired by aging mothers as Kinsey Millhone is." He proceeded to rant for a bit while you sat there nodding and pretending you cared about what he said.

That's another thing you've known about Dave for a long time. He sometimes gets straight to the point then goes on forever, or somewhat skillfully dodges the point like it was some kind of plague. A plague that would cause him to lose all things cool and ironic about himself. Ok now it's rubbing off on you and you know you better stop.

"Ok, thanks Dave." You begin to slide off the couch, thinking maybe Jade needed help with homework, or had questions still about the school.

"Hey, John?" Dave stops typing again and looks at you. Or maybe past you but you can't tell past the sunglass.

Okay, it's at you, he has just taken off his sunglasses.

"Yea Dave?" You break eye contact to check on the time. In about 10 minutes your dad will get home from work with dinner, which has about a one in who gives a fuck chance of being shitty Chinese takeout. It could be worse you guess, you didn't mind Chinese food; you just had to eat it a lot with your dad getting home at six every night. And oh lord Dave said something and you totally didn't catch that.

"Hehehe...sorry Dave. What was that again? I kinda spaced out there thinking of when we get to eat and stuff…Hehehe." You scratch the back of your head, feeling silly and mildly douchey about that.

"I said…" Dave stood up and grabbed your wrists. Your heart was kicking into high gear as he leaded forward, gently pressing his lips to yours. "Happy belated birthday."

Wait what?
"D…Dave! What the hell!" You all but shriek out. "I am not a homosexual!"

He smirks and shoves his hands in his pockets. "Give me time."

Your dad conveniently (or maybe not, depending on what he heard and what had yet to be said) comes through the door with Chinese takeout boxes in hand. "John, can you go get my stuff? It's out in the car."

You walk out of your house a little faster than you probably should have, and loitered at the parked vehicle for a minute.

What the hell was Dave thinking? He knows you're not gay or anything like that. Don't get you wrong, you're fine with homosexual in general, but it just wasn't something that personally tickled your peach. Would you try going out with him if he offered? No well in hell was the reply you gave yourself. It'd be weird as heck just sharing a room with the guy now!

You exhale sharply and grab your dad's briefcase, shuffling your way inside. Smiling girls are making their way down the staircase.

"Good evening John." Rose says calmly. Too calmly… don't lose your head, John, they don't know anything!

"Hey guys!" You present them with your goofy bucktoothed grin. The five of you get your food and sit on the various seating fixtures placed throughout the living room. Casually of course, you manage to steer clear of sitting next the Dave, leaving Rose to occupy your now empty seat.

"How was school?" Your dad says after a few moments of eating.

Jade is the first to answer. "Great! It was sooo fun." She flashed the group her bright smile before continuing. "People were saying John and I were twins, or that we were clones, some even suggesting that we were together! Hehehe. But I'm sure it was all in good fun." She threw a hopeful look in your direction.

You nod after a second. "Yea. Other than that, not much."

"How about you two; Rose and Dave?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Egbert, but as you know, my journal was lost in the airport. I had no other choice than to stay home and re-document all the things that were lost. I'm very fond of having ideas organized." Rose curtly nods her head for an apology.

Your dad smiles. "Don't sweat it, kiddo."

A loud ahem is heard from the blonde boy. "I didn't feel well so I stayed home too." Bullshit. "But I'd say had a very swell day other than that."

Your eyes dart around the room, searching so something other than Dave Strider. They settle on an elegant harlequin picture. So majestic, those clowns. When you look back Rose is giving you a cocked eyebrow with matching question eyes.

"I wonder what's on TV. I don't really get to watch it much." Jade flawlessly changes the topic, oblivious to what was happening behind the scenes. Poor Jade. But maybe it was better if she didn't know.

You finish your meal to the voice of Mayor. "In the city of Townsville…"

AN: kya my first fanfic ^u^k so heres chapter one. im going to TRY my best to get in a new chapter each week. expect for frequent chapters, though, for the next 2 or 3 weeks tho. i need to get this thing rolling, and it wont happen if people dont get hooked right away :3

so right dont be all "no its johndave not johnkat!". the next chapter will introduce him as well as have some more onesided hammertime later on im going to see if i can successfully pull off a different dave ship cause i still love dave. well this is it guys! thanks for reading and be sure to review. byyyye