Reason Nineteen

"Too Addictive"

L ran the word through his brain repeatedly. He picked it apart and defined its many meanings. Stress. Noun. Mental, emotional, or physical strain caused by anxiety or overwork. It may cause such symptoms as raised blood pressure or depression. Strain. Pressure. Depression. He already knew what the term meant; he just couldn't understand why it was stuck in his mind. Perhaps he was stressed? As much as he'd like to function as a machine, L wasn't an exception to the human condition. There were several times where he felt stressed, but he was adept at hiding it.

However, he was only anxious at the moment.

The reason for his confusion about stress partially stemmed from Rie Tagawa, who was speaking to him on the phone. She was a doctor who owed the detective a favor. Watari had taken O to the hospital she worked at so that she could get top-notch treatment.

"You there, Ryuzaki?" the older woman asked, curious about the silence on the other end of the line. Stress, stress, stress. Strain. Pressure. Depression. L forced his brain to stop functioning on repeat and spoke.

"I'm here. Please continue, Dr. Tagawa."

"…Right. Like I said, she must've been under quite a lot of stress lately," she mused. "Good at hiding it if you haven't noticed."

He should have noticed. He discredited O's usual high-energy, superfluous arguments with him as something she does to release steam, not build it up. He knew he could be infuriating in others' eyes, but he never once expected that O would suffer like she did because of his unorthodox behavior. Were her conscious efforts of trying to change him her way of warning him of her health?

"It's been two days," Tagawa continued, "and she's been begging to get her hands on-what's it called-Natera?"

"Nutella," L corrected. "It's popular over in the States."

"Anyway, she's been examined, and she's clear for a visit. I'd say that she's ready to see a certain someone."

"Thank you. And Dr. Tagawa?"

"Yes, dear?"

"I would appreciate it if you didn't keep Watari more occupied than he should."

A dry chuckle. "Well, if you ask me, it's more of the other way around-"

L hung up the phone. He glanced at the rearview mirror to catch Watari's twinkling eye. The old man smiled and didn't speak a word even as they reached the back of the hospital. When the younger man left the car, a small bag in tow, his caretaker had this to say:

"Satomi has the chance to make a decision, and it is imperative for you to know that whatever happens after that decision isn't your fault."

After receiving that piece of advice, L thanked Watari and went to the secluded room where Dr. Tagawa put O. He couldn't take any chances, since the safety of their true identities were top priority. As his feet shuffled forward in his uncomfortable, ragged tennis shoes, he wondered what he would see. Would her round face be gaunt and sharp? Would he even recognize her? Then his logic kicked in. It assured him that no one could appear malnourished from just two days in the hospital unless they were severely unwell. He remembered, as he passed through the door, that the doctor said that her condition wasn't too critical and that O was as chatty as she usually was.

"You came by."

L wasn't surprised by the simple greeting, but he was thrown for a loop at his girlfriend's appearance. The dark depths of her eyes were more pronounced now that her glasses weren't on, and they appeared to be bigger than normal. Her hair was tousled, gathered up in a makeshift bun. Her otherwise healthy look would've put L's mind at ease if it wasn't for how defeated she looked. Her slouch rivaled his own, shoulders hunched and arms wrapped around a pillow.

This wasn't the woman he admired. She herself seemed too bewildered by the fact that her body gave in to something so ordinary like stress. She was way too spirited to be discouraged by that. It made him realize why it was difficult to move past the fact that it was stress that affected her so. He didn't envision O conceding to something like that.

It just wasn't right.

The detective walked up to her bed, digging into the bag he had in his hand. He took out a spoon and a jar of O's favorite hazelnut spread.

"Nutella!" she exclaimed, a bit of life relaxing her stiff shoulders. "I've been dying for some. Thanks, L-I mean-"

"It's fine, and please mind your choice of words," he said, unscrewing the cap from the container. He dipped the spoon in the gelatinous, brown goop and stirred it around.

"What?" the slightly lethargic woman asked, then giggled as she understood the implication. "L, I wasn't going to die from this." She smiled softly. "…You were that worried?"

"I have no reason to worry."

"And that was probably the only time you've been bad at lying."

"Open your mouth, please."

O was caught off-guard by the command until she saw the spoon thrust before her mouth. Her cross-eyed shock must have made a point that she was perplexed at L's gesture. Deciding that she wasn't going to argue (look where that got her), she humored the detective and opened her mouth. L moved a bit too fast. With a cringe-worthy clink, the spoon impacted her front teeth and made her clamp down on the glob of Nutella. Of course, it didn't make a smooth journey down her throat. Instead, it traveled down the side of her mouth like a slug, leaving a thick trail of brown behind it.

"That didn't go well," she laughed, wiping away the wasted treat. She took the jar and began to feed herself, almost swooning when the spread met her tongue the right way. "Thanks for trying, though-"

"Perhaps it would be best if we didn't see each other anymore," L suggested, gently pushing O down once she attempted to jump out of her bed. She put the Nutella aside, folding her arms over her chest with a heavy sigh as she leaned against a pillow for support.

"Listen, L, I'm not gonna-"

"Satomi." Her silence was immediate. "Your body gave out to stress, which I caused. Do you honestly think we can stay together with-"

"Oh, stop it," she cut in. She shook her head at how good they were at interrupting each other. They didn't have a handle on anything else but arguing in a relationship. "It's my fault for being so damn angry at you all the time. I'm sorry for being so hard on you."

"You aren't wrong for having an opinion," he easily forgave, giving her a chaste kiss on the forehead. "Just get some rest."

"Will do."

After a twenty-minute nap, O woke up and saw a folded piece of paper on her lap. She picked up her glasses and read it quietly.

Dear Satomi,

You are the only one, besides Watari, to tolerate me for so long. You have made it no secret how much you dislike my way of doing things and my whole process as the world's three greatest detectives. I appreciate your honesty and your tolerance. However, I don't want you to tolerate me for the rest of your life.

You claim you accept me, faults and all, and I wholeheartedly believe you, but I know you deserve so much better than me.

I thought about your words from the therapy session Watari made us go through. I should just let things happen on their own course. You are entirely right. I am a very control-oriented person. I tend not to take any responsibility for anyone who doesn't act according to my command and it is childish of me. You should know by now how I operate much like a child. Even so, I'd like to take a moment to step outside of my childish ways to offer you a choice.

Stay with me, and we can be together as long as you'd like. Or leave me, and have a much better life than I can give you. Whichever one you choose, I'll make sure that you are taken care of.

It's up to you, Satomi.

-L

To Satomi, it was obvious which one she was going to choose.

Thanks so much, guys, for your reviews, your favorites, follows, and everything that contributed to this story. You've been awesome. I've enjoyed this crazy task I've put Satomi through. And for the record, I have nothing against our favorite detective. It's just the guy's so socially awkward and into his work, how could you expect him to manage a relationship? XD That being said, I hope you enjoyed! Once again, thanks for your time.