Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

This is dedicated to Vicky - blurs of red and blonde. Happy belated birthday!

This takes place in the summer between Rose and Scorpius's sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts.

Dear Rose,

Do we have a Transfiguration essay to write during the summer?

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

No, we don't. Maybe in future lessons, you should pay attention to the teacher - I find it helps.

Have you done anything interesting so far this summer?

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

The thing is, I was too busy looking at you to pay attention to the teacher. You're much more enjoyable to look at than Professor McGonagall.

No, I haven't. I've been cooped up in Malfoy Manor so far. All of my roommates are off vacationing somewhere and I can't go over anybody's house because of that. I'd visit you, but unfortunately your dad would probably curse me if I stepped foot in your house.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

That's sweet! But you need to pass Transfiguration next year, and you can't be staring at me all through lessons. Even though I find it kind of romantic that I distract you.

My dad wouldn't curse you if you stepped in our house...he'd simply throw you out. I hope. Besides, I'm not exactly welcome at your house either, unfortunately. My dad keeps track of where I'm going in the summer to make sure that I don't go over your place. He doesn't know that we're dating yet, though. The only reason that he knows we're friends is because James blabbed to him back in first year - I would have kept it a secret from him otherwise. But he'd be even angrier if he knew we were together. He's worried that I'll become Rose Malfoy.

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

Do I have to pass Transfiguration? Old Minnie is getting stricter with each year that goes by.

My parents don't know that we're dating, either. My mum wouldn't care, I know she wouldn't, but I highly doubt she'd be able to keep it secret from my father. Who definitely would care.

Who knows, Rose, maybe someday you will be Rose Malfoy!

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

Don't call Professor McGonagall 'Old Minnie'. That's disrespectful.

My mum would probably be fine with it as well. She probably would think that there's 'better' people for me, but I don't think she'd tell me that - she'd just accept it. I don't really want to tell her, though, for the same reason you haven't told your dad. I doubt she'd be able to keep it secret from my father and Uncle Harry, and I don't really want them to know quite yet.

Are you proposing to me, Scorpius?

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

Being disrespectful to teachers is just part of who I am. After all, I am the student who put a Portable Swamp from Weasley's Wizard Wheezes in the staff room last January.

All these people wouldn't be too happy with you and I being together. It's kind of annoying - when do you think we will tell people? It's not like we can keep it a secret forever, as nice as that may be.

I will be, in a few years' time.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

That was you? I thought that was Lily. She kept smirking when anybody brought it up, at any rate.

I was thinking after Hogwarts - then we are technically adults, and nobody can tell us what to do. Not to mention, once we're out of Hogwarts, we can move out of our parents' places and we'll be able to see each other whenever we want.

You're so cute.

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

Lily gave me the Portable Swamp for a Christmas present, and she attached a note saying that the staff room was the perfect place to put it. So technically it was her idea, but I actually went through with it.

But we are adults - we both came of age last year. Although moving out of Malfoy Manor and into a flat with you is a very appealing prospect - nobody would ever be able to walk in on us in a compromising position.

I try.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

Since when are you and Lily friends? I seem to recall in fourth year you described her as a cocky little brat.

I know we did, but my dad has the mindset that I'm not an adult until I leave school. I think that's kind of stupid, personally, but whatever. And Merlin, Scorpius, you are such a bloke. There's more to living with someone else then just shagging on every available surface.

I know.

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

She is a cocky little brat. But she's a brilliant prankster, and I admire other people who have the nerve to break rules. After all, I need somebody to break rules with - you never get in trouble with me. Have you ever gotten detention?

It is stupid. Although I guess my dad feels the same way - I asked him if I could move out this summer and he said that I was too young. I'm sick of Malfoy Manor. And I don't want to shag on every available surface, that doesn't sound comfortable. The bed is perfectly fine with me.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

That's my cousin you're calling a cocky little brat. And what, do you two just walk up to each other and say 'Hey, I'm bored, I wanna get detention, are you in?' Sounds strange to me. And no, I haven't ever gotten detention, nor do I have the urge to.

How can you be sick of Malfoy Manor? I thought that place had thirty rooms, or something like that. I'm getting annoyed with my house, though - my cousins are constantly over here, and it's busier than King's Cross because most of them end up bringing their boyfriends or girlfriends and then having a veritable party in the living room. I can't sleep here.

And don't say 'you can sleep in my bed, Rose'. I know that's what you're thinking.

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

Oh, like you don't agree with me. And no, we don't walk up to each other and say that. It's not like we try to get caught. And usually we don't actually plan stuff together, she just gets me supplies that I can't. She's got a half-off discount at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, you know.

Rose, you need to get detention. You can't go through Hogwarts without ever getting detention, that's terrible. It's like...detention is a part of Hogwarts life. Like being freezing in the wintertime, or being incredibly tired after Astronomy lessons. You've got to get detention at least once.

It does have thirty rooms. But it's not like they're all interesting - most of them are pretty boring, in fact. You'd love the library here, though, it's freaking enormous.

How did you know I was going to say that? Mind-reader.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

Lily is my cousin. I shouldn't call her a cocky little brat. And you don't try to get caught, really? Then how come in a Transfiguration class last year, you kept asking Professor McGonagall if she's ever felt attracted to a tomcat while in her Animagus form, and if she could actually have kittens, and all these other completely inappropriate questions that dealt with cat sex? Because I'm pretty sure you were asking for detention that time.

I do not 'need' to get detention. I would be perfectly happy finishing Hogwarts with a perfectly clean record, thank you very much.

If the library is so enormous, and you're so bored, why don't you read the books in the library?

I'm not a mind-reader, I've been friends with you for six years. I know the way you think now.

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

Because it was hilarious to ask her those things. The look on her face was amazing - I didn't even know her mouth could get that thin. Besides, nearly all of the class found it to be the funniest thing ever, and they were all cracking up. Although I did get a week's detention.

Yes you do. I'm going to get you in detention with me, and you will realize how fun it is to get in trouble.

Um, because I'm not you, love. You're the reader, I'm the troublemaker.

All right, what's the way I think?

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

All right, so it was kind of funny, but I still can't believe that you actually had the nerve to do that. I'd never be able to do something like that - I'm not brave enough for that.

You are a very, very strange boy. Fun? Detention?

I guess you're right. But surely there must be something in the library that interests you - if it's as huge as you say it is, there must be something at least a little engaging.

Your mind tends to focus on either getting in trouble, being inappropriate, or me.

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

'Kind of funny'? My dear, that was a comedic masterpiece that will be remembered for years to come. It will be told to this generation's children, who will tell it to their children, and so on. It will become a legend - 'The Legend of the Comedian Who Dared To Ask the Uptight Teacher About Cat Sex'.

I never said detention itself was fun, I said that it was an important part of Hogwarts life. It's the actual pranking that's fun - and sometimes, even seeing the professor's reactions as they yell at me are hilarious, because you get to see how red they get and how thin their lips go.

Not really. A lot of it is pureblood blah that I don't give a damn about, and some history books. Nothing I care about.

Wow, that's scarily accurate - you really do know me well.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

You think very highly of that moment, apparently. And that's a very long title for a legend - I don't really think that anybody would actually bother calling it that. Oh, and Professor McGonagall isn't uptight, she's just...strict.

You are such a troublemaker, just saying. Are you serious about this whole getting-me-in-trouble thing?

The pureblood mania books do sound boring, but history could be quite interesting...never mind. I know you don't really care. Why don't you go to Diagon Alley, though, and pick something up to amuse you?

Yes, I do. That's what happens when two people are friends for this long. Do me - what's my mind like?

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

Yes, yes I do. It was a crowning moment of achievement, or whatever the hell that saying is. Yes, they would, because it makes it even funnier. Oh, Rose, you're so smart - you should know uptight and strict are basically the same exact thing.

Yes, I am, and yes, I am. We're going to get in trouble together sometime this year. I'm going to show you my world.

Hmm...things that amuse me...maybe I could go to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and pick up some fireworks and set them off somewhere in my house. That would amuse me!

Your mind is full of academic knowledge, and trying to keep me out of trouble, which never works.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

I think it's 'crowning moment of glory', but I'm not sure. You do realize that for it to actually get that title, it would have to be passed on for generations? It is a little unlikely, you know...and calling somebody uptight isn't nice. Even if that person is a teacher.

Oh, fine. But nothing that'll get me a week's detention - I like my nights free to finish essays. And I'm only agreeing to this so that way you don't spring it on me suddenly when I'm not expecting it.

Scorpius, Lily told me that those fireworks take hours and hours to fizzle out. Do you really want to do that?

Yeah, that sounds exactly right.

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

All right, so that day in class was my crowning moment of glory. IT WILL BE PASSED ON FOR GENERATIONS. Just saying. It is way too amazing to not be passed on. Fine, fine, I won't call her uptight (in front of you, anyway).

Okay...hmm, something that'll get you just a day or two's detention...let me think on it. We'll come up with something, maybe I'll enlist Lily to help come up with a perfect plan.

Yes, I really do. It would amuse me, and you suggested getting something at Diagon Alley to amuse me. Besides, Malfoy Manor's so large it'll be easy to avoid them if I really needed to.

I know it does.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

Wow. Just...wow. You crack me up, you know that? But I suppose you've got a couple followers - Roxanne and Lily told me that they are definitely planning on telling their children about your cat-sex-questionnaire to McGonagall.

Merlin, I can't believe I'm agreeing to this. We'll plan it when we get back to school - can you believe it's only a couple weeks away now? It seems like just yesterday that I was boarding the Hogwarts Express for the first time, and now we're heading back for our seventh year. This is insane.

All right, fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. Whatever you do, don't try Vanishing or Stunning them, that just makes it worse.

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

I know, I know, I'm hilarious. Oh, yeah, awesome! I have successfully converted two people! So they'll tell their kids, and I'll tell my kids as well, and then all those kids will tell their kids - and hopefully, it just keeps going on and on.

YES! Anyway, yeah, it's kind of surprising that we're already in seventh year. Or will be, anyway. It does seem like it was really recently that I came into your compartment and introduced myself. Now - last year at Hogwarts. Hmm, I have to make this good...what mischief should I get up to, hmmm?

Oh, I already know all about that. And it's certainly not like I'm going to try to get rid of them - I'll leave that up to my parents.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

You are certainly something. Merlin, you're obsessed with this - I find it incredibly amusing how awesome you think it was. Although it was pretty funny, so I guess I can kind of understand it.

It really is. I'll miss Hogwarts once we leave; I really love going there, and it's going to feel strange to be out in the real world as opposed to going to school every year on September 1st. I will be going to King's Cross for the next two years, though - I have to see Lily and Hugo off, they'd be annoyed if I didn't.

Your parents would know that it was you who set them off, though. Just warning you...

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

Because it was absolutely hilarious, and it will be remembered forever.

I guess I'll miss parts of it - certainly won't miss all the essays and assignments and stuff, but I'll miss making trouble and hanging out with my roommates and you and Lily and people like that. And the food, Merlin, the food. I'll come with you to see them off - I'll need to give Lily a list of good prank ideas, at any rate.

I set off the fireworks! My mum thought they were pretty cool, and she didn't even try to get rid of them, she just let them go out on their own. My dad wasn't thrilled with them but Mum convinced him, so everything's fine. See, nothing to worry about!

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

I'm saving your letters - I just want to remember this conversation forever!

Of course, this doesn't surprise me one bit. Oh, Merlin, you're right, though - the food is absolutely fabulous. I'm against house-elf slavery, but I'd love one of the Hogwarts house elves just so that way I could keep eating Hogwarts-style food.

Your mum seems pretty different than your father, at least from what you've told me.

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

Well, this conversation is amazing, so it doesn't surprise me.

When we move in together, we can get a house elf. And, if you insist, we can pay it or whatever. But we can get a house elf and make sure that it cooks us Hogwarts food.

She is - she's definitely more laid-back, she doesn't give a damn about pureblood stuff, and she even sneaked back into Hogwarts to fight at the Final Battle although she was underage. She's scarily good at talking my dad into being okay with things, so you should probably meet her before you meet my father. She'll like you, I bet.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

Yes, yes it is.

Of course we'd have to pay it, and give it days off, and all the things that normal employees would receive. It's the proper thing to do. Although I do love the idea of continuing to get Hogwarts-style food, since I can't cook to save my life and I don't believe you've really cooked, either.

She definitely sounds very nice; I would love to meet her soon. Perhaps we could arrange something over Christmas or Easter break - we wouldn't even have to tell her that we're together, if you still think that she wouldn't be able to keep it secret from your father. But just if I met her, that way when we did tell your family she would already know who I am and possibly like me.

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

Yep!

Um, fine, I guess. As long as we get Hogwarts food. Yeah, I can't cook either - we've got house-elves at Malfoy Manor who do all the cooking, and I've never had to make myself anything apart from, I don't know, cereal, so I'd be even worse at it than you are.

That's a brilliant idea. Let her meet you and like you, and just think that you and I are good friends. Then later on, when we tell everyone we're together, she'll be perfectly fine with it and be able to convince my dad that you're a good match for me.

Love, Scorpius.

Dear Scorpius,

All right, we definitely need a house-elf then. I can't cook, and you've never tried, so that would be horrible if we lived together and weren't able to make anything apart from the simplest things like cereal.

Excellent. We'll try to plan something over Christmas break, then, if that's fine with you and her. I'll probably manage to get away for an afternoon - I'll just say I need to do some last-minute shopping for my friends, and instead I'll meet up with you two.

Can't believe we're going back to Hogwarts in just a couple days!

Love, Rose.

Dear Rose,

Awesome, so we agree. I have no idea how anybody actually goes about getting a house-elf; I'll have to talk to my mother or Aunt Daphne, they'd probably know. I don't know how we got Tilly - that's our house-elf - because she's been there ever since I was a baby.

Fantastic. I'll tell my mum about it probably in October or November; she'd forget to write it down if I told her now, and she'd lose track of it before then. But I'm sure she'll have at least one afternoon open over Christmas holidays.

I know. I guess this is the last letter that we'll send this summer, since by the time it reaches you it'll probably be the morning of September 1st. Oh well, I want to send it anyway. I've had a wonderful time writing you over these holidays, but I can't wait to actually see you - I've missed you.

Love, Scorpius.