Stand together

Merlin awoke unusually early feeling his stomach twist as he did so. Today was the big day, the day that Gauis was going to remove the stitches from Merlin's face and allow Merlin to return to his duties as the kings' manservant. Gauis and Arthur had both insisted that Merlin wait until the wounds had fully closed before he went back to work, there was too much risk of the injuries getting infected otherwise.

Merlin himself was happy to be moving back into the spring of things, despite being perfectly happy to hide himself away right after he was wounded once Merlin had started to get back out into Camelot he had soon found his old stride. The first few days had been hard people starred, pointed, and whispered as Merlin walked past, but just as they promised, Arthur, his mother, and all the knights had been there for him as he recovered. They had admonished and punished people for insulting Merlin and been there to comfort Merlin when he had really bad days.

Recovering had been a difficult experience for Merlin, he continually felt pain from his wounds and more than once he had woken in the middle of the night with his face searing with agony from the injuries. Merlin also had flashbacks and nightmares from the attack and Gauis and his mother had both had to hold him and ease him after these episodes. They had also had to clean up several pieces of broken glass form Merlin's magic lashing out in his sleep, but eventually the pain had lessened and Merlin had settled back to his usual self and now he was more than ready to get back to work. Merlin smiled ruefully as pulled on his trousers, he never thought he'd live to see the day he was eager to return to Arthur's service.

Merlin walked out to see Gauis sleeping in his usual place while the rest of the room was quiet. Merlin looked around for his mother, noticing that the spare cot she usually occupied was empty, but before he could even begin to worry the door opened and Hunith came in holding a bucket of water and some herbs to help renew Gauis' stores. Merlin smiled, "good morning mother."

Hunith smiled back, "good morning Merlin, how are you feeling?"

Merlin instantly walked over and started making breakfast, "Better. Ready to get to work."

Hunith kissed his uninjured cheek, "good I'm glad." Merlin began to mix together some porridge and boil some tea as Gauis groaned stiffly and sat up in bed.

Gauis smiled and said, "Well this is certainly a surprise, I'm usually the one hauling you out of bed not the other way around."

Merlin shrugged, "I've slept enough." And it was more than true, between Gauis, Gwen, and his mother it seemed like everyone was determined to keep Merlin in bed as much as possible. At first he had been touched by their concern, but it had quickly turned to annoyance as he spent more and more time being sent to 'rest'. Merlin made them all a breakfast and they ate quietly, as soon as they were finished Gauis asked, "Are you ready Merlin?"

Merlin let out a deep breath and said, "As I'll ever be."

Hunith reached out and rubbed the back of Merlin's head in comfort, "Remember what I told you Merlin, it doesn't matter."

Merlin nodded, "I know." And he walked over the patients' cot so Gauis could pull out the stitches without worrying about getting blood anywhere. Gauis took out a pair of tweezers and a small scissor set and gave Merlin a pain killer before he deftly began to remove the stitches on Merlin's face and scalp. Despite the pain killer pulling out the stitches still stung and Merlin couldn't help wincing and hissing in pain as Gauis did his work. Merlin forced himself to stay still as Gauis worked and after several long tense minutes Gauis pulled back and wiped the extra blood gingerly away from Merlin's face as he cleaned himself and the tools.

Merlin licked his now scarred lip nervously before asking, "Well, how does it look?"

Hunith cupped his face in her hand and said, "It's not so bad Merlin, I won't lie and say it's pleasant, but I've seen much worse."

Merlin looked up, "Can I see?"

Gauis held up a mirror, Gwen had left it behind when she had noticed Merlin glancing at himself in the polished brass bowl that he had first seen his wounds in. Merlin held the mirror loosely in his hands, he kept the reflective side turned away from his face, and took several deep steadying breaths before he turned the mirror around. Merlin winced starred wide-eyed at his own reflection, his face looked very different than what he was used to.

The wounds had not closed completely, but they were no longer huge open gashes running alongside Merlin's face as they had been before. Merlin's scars were red and took up half his face, going up into his scalp, across a portion of his lip, and onto his chin. They looked truly nasty and they changed a great deal about Merlin's appearance. Merlin's once elfin face now had a much harsher look to it. Merlin appeared to be more of a battle hardened warrior than a cheerful man servant.

Merlin continued to study his own reflection, his hair was still missing in the area of his scalp where the scars had been. Gauis had been forced to keep it trimmed back to reduce the risk of infection, and the bald spot added to the unusual look of Merlin's face. Unconsciously Merlin reached up and touched the scars, gently running his fingers back and forth across them as though hoping doing so would make them go away. More than once Merlin had considered using magic to reduce or vanish the scars, but he knew it would not work. It was very difficult to perform healing magic on oneself (especially with such extensive injuries), and too many people had seen Merlin's wounds to believe that they had healed without scars.

Merlin closed his eyes as he felt a shudder run through him, Merlin felt so many different things all at once he didn't know where to fall. He was shocked by his appearance, nervous about how others would react, and saddened about his scars. Merlin's face still stung slightly with pain from the wounds, especially when he moved his faces, smiling, laughing, or even frowning, Merlin felt a sense of agony run through him as tears began to fall down his face. It was too much to take all at once, just too much. Hunith and Gauis both pulled him into a hug allowing Merlin to let out his emotions. Gauis had expected this, even though Merlin had said over and over again that he was doing 'fine', and he was indeed recovering well, Gauis knew that facing the reality of the situation all over again was difficult, and accepting the truth of this change would be equally difficult. It was a lot for Merlin to take in all at once, finally the young man pulled away and wiped his face as he asked, "I don't suppose I could just keep hiding in here for another month or two?" In a tone that made it clear he knew it wasn't possible.

Gauis said, "I thought you'd told us you were sick of being cooped up in here all the time?"

Merlin put the mirror down and said, "I am, but people are going to treat me differently now."

Hunith said, "Arthur won't allow anyone to mistreat you."

Merlin sighed, "I know, but they'll still treat me differently."

Hunith rubbed his back in comfort, "Merlin it won't be easy, but you have to face it. Remember what I told you before, the longer you wait the more difficult this will be."

Gauis added, "your mother's right Merlin, putting off the moment everyone sees you will make this worse not better. Besides you have been out before this."

Merlin let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, "I know." It was true, Merlin had left these quarters a number of times as he recovered, but having people see him with his bandages wasn't the same as having them see the deep scars now marring his face. Merlin sat there starring at the door with a feeling of dread swirling in his stomach. Gauis and Hunith watched Merlin gaze at the door as though it were going to eat him and they waited, they knew that this had to be something Merlin did on his own. They had done all they could for Merlin and now it was up to him. Merlin bit his lip and rocked back and forth on the bed before he finally pushed himself up to his feet and walked over to the door.

Merlin stood hesitantly in front of the door thinking, 'come on you bloody coward, you've faced dark sorcerers, a number of magical creatures, King Uther, Morgana, and Arthur's temper-tantrums and your afraid to walk through a bloody door? Get your scrawny legs moving you bloody coward." Merlin felt his scars pull as his face twitched into a grin, that last part had sounded more like Arthur's voice than his own.

Stealing himself Merlin opened the door and walked out into the hall with Gauis and his mother right behind him, Merlin felt his feet begin to automatically take him towards the training field. Merlin knew Arthur would be putting his knights through their paces, and many people would come to watch. It was the best way for Merlin to confront everyone all at once. Plus, Merlin knew Arthur and the others would be furious if he didn't go see them immediately after having recovered.

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Arthur ducked as Gwaine swung his sword in a high arch over the kings head, Arthur couldn't help letting a grin spread across his face as he said, "Not bad Gwaine, but you've got to bend your elbow a bit when you swing, it'll help you follow through with the strike more fluidly."

Gwaine spun as Arthur thrust at him, "Oh, I don't know princess, I've managed well enough on my own. You're still the only one I've ever met who can dodge that shot."

Gwaine swung back and as their swords clashed, Arthur reminded him, "Just because you haven't met anyone else who can evade that move doesn't mean there isn't someone else who can Gwaine."

Gwaine and Arthur's swords continued to cross back and forth as Gwaine said, "True, but I'll worry about that when the time comes."

Arthur snorted, "worry about it now, because I refuse to bring you home on the back of a horse because you didn't train. You need to remain focused."

Gwaine snipped back, "I am focused." Then he glanced up and grinned as he said, "Hello Merlin!" Brightly.

Arthur snorted, "Oh please, you actually expect me to be stupid enough to fall for that?"

Before Gwaine could retort a familiar voice spoke from behind him, "Well I don't know. I've seen you do much stupider things than that."

Arthur dropped his sword as the other knights who had been training turned and starred at the familiar figure now standing on the side of the field with two others standing protectively behind him, "Merlin?!"

Merlin stood grinning cheekily, his face was now heavily scarred and it made him look very different indeed. They could all see the Merlin they knew and remembered as he stood in the field, but there was a significant shift in his appearance. The scars gave Merlin a harder, more weathered look, he now reminded them of someone much older than himself. Someone who had been battered by the world, which in a way was true, but he was still their Merlin.

Merlin shrugged saying, "Who were you expecting? The stable boy?"

Arthur walked forward and pulled Merlin into a hug, which the other man returned. The other knights soon got over their shock and walked over to do the same. Merlin grinned as he returned their embraces, and the grin became even wider as he heard a familiar female voice call his name.

Sure enough, the second Merlin turned he saw Gwen running out from the castle looking half angered, and half thrilled. Gwen walked over and pulled Merlin into a hug as she kissed his uninjured cheek. Then she pulled back and smacked his arm hard. Merlin clutched the arm saying, "Owe, what was that for?"

Gwen put her hands on her hips and said in a tone of mock-scolding, "For not coming to see me the moment you were released."

Merlin blushed and said, "Sorry, I was going to see you next, Gauis told me you were working on something for the kingdom."

Gwen snorted, "Crop reports from outlying villages, we need to know which ones may be struggling to feed themselves and which may be able to provide additional rations to those in need. Arthur and the others can't make head or tales of any of it."

Merlin chuckled, "Well of course not, it's all to do with crops and numbers and since when does Arthur know anything about any of that."

Gwen and Merlin both chuckled at the usual teasing of Arthur who gave a false pout. Merlin felt himself relax even more, he was surprised at how quickly and how easily he was falling into his usually routine of teasing Arthur and joking with the others at court.

Sir Gwaine walked up and grabbed Merlin's chin, tilting his face to get a better look at the scars now adorning his cheek. After a moment Gwaine just gave a loud ,"Ah, that's nothing. I've seen a helluva lot worse. In fact I think it suits you Merlin."

Merlin pulled back, "Oh, really? Well any time you feel like having your face ripped open I'll be happy to obliged."

Gwaine faked a look of consideration than waved it off, "No, it wouldn't do. I've got too many ladies coming after me already. If they found out I got hurt defending the king they'd be lining up to nurse me back to health. I don't think I'd be able to handle all the attention." Gwaine winked roguishly, "A man must sleep sometimes after all."

Merlin quipped back, "So you're saying that I'm going to be the one with all the serving maids knocking on the door desperate to tend the 'poor injured hero'."

Gwaine instantly shot back, "Oh definitely mate, you better start baring the door at night."

Merlin said, "I really don't think it'll be a problem." Then he pointed over his shoulder at Gauis and his mother and said, "After all I do have the two most intimidating body guards in all of Camelot staying with me."

The others all laughed at the truth of this statement as Percival asked, "Seriously Merlin how are you doing?"

Merlin thought for a moment, "Alright." Then seeing their disbelieving looks he said, "Honestly, I'm doing alright. This isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Being here with you lot is actually helping, for once."

Arthur walked up and cuffed Merlin on the back of the head, "Well then, why don't you collect the swords while you're feeling so much better?"

Merlin shrugged and said, "Fine." Then instantly began to collect the swords and shields to bring them back into armory like he usually did.

However, before he could finish Gwen scolded, "Arthur! For goodness sack Merlin just got out of the infirmary, let him find his feet before you start having him muck out the stable and wash your socks."

Arthur blushed sheepishly and Merlin felt himself grin, there was nothing he liked better than seeing Arthur put in his place, and Gwen was one of the few people capable of doing just that. Gwen called one of the other servants over and Merlin instantly handed him the swords he'd already collected as Arthur and the others went to change and wash up. Merlin walked back toward the barracks with them. The knights instantly chatting with him, asking Merlin how he was feeling over and over again, after the fourth time Merlin actually threw his head back and said, "Oh will you please knock it off! I swear if you lot ask me one more time if I'm feeling alright I'm going to put lye in ever last pair of britches you own."

This statement caused Gwen, Gauis, and Hunith to laugh as Arthur and the others looked on in shock. Suddenly a voice called, "If he can threaten you with lye he's fine."

Merlin turned, "Hello Tristan. I wondered when you'd show up."

Tristan said, "I'm surprised you didn't come looking for me."

Merlin said, "I knew you'd come find me on your own."

Tristan walked forward and said, "Well for once you happen to be right about something. It's good to see you finally out of Gauis' rooms."

Merlin leaned his head back and let the sun warm his face as he said, "It feels good to be out as well. I was getting a bit stir crazy being inside all the time."

"And yet you don't seem eager to get back to work." Tristan teased.

"I'm I ever?" Merlin quipped back. As they came to the end of the training field Arthur and the knights peeled off to barracks to change and clean themselves up. A few of the servants followed after to collect their armor once they'd removed it. Merlin stood outside with Gauis, Hunith, Tristan, and Gwen.

Gwen ruffled Merlin's hair in a friendly way and asked, "Tell me truly Merlin how are you feeling?"

Merlin took a deep breath before answering, "It's still a little swore." He gently cradled his cheek, "whenever I move my face it pulls at the scars, and they sting. It's not as bad as it was, the pains more like a sore tooth than anything else, but it's still there."

Gwen's eyes softened sadly as she asked, "And there's nothing Gauis can do?"

Merlin shook his head, "No, the pain will pass in time, but for now I simply have to live with it."

Gwen nodded and pressed, "And everything else?"

Merlin turned to see several of the citizens and servants of Camelot blatantly starring at him, many were whispering behind their hands, and a few were openly pointing and gaping at him. Smirking slightly Merlin raised his hand and gave them all a cheeky wave, something very similar to the type he'd seen Arthur give after the king had won a tournament or received some praise for another well-accomplished task.

When they say this the people instantly scattered and went back to their usual routines. Merlin turned back to Gwen, noting the questioning looks on his mother and Gauis' faces as he did so. Merlin shrugged and said, "You would think they would realize, that if they can see me, then I can see them as well. "

Gwen snickered as Merlin turned and pulled his mother into a hug, "It's alright, I'm doing fine, for now."

None of them missed the 'for now' part of the statement, but in all honestly this was turning out to be much easier than Merlin had feared. Having Arthur and the others laugh and tease him again gave Merlin a sense of normalcy, and that helped keep him grounded so he could keep going. As soon as Arthur and the others were cleaned and changed they all starting walking back into the castle together.

Gwaine stretched his arms above his head and yawned saying, "I am famished."

Elyan snorted, "What else is new? You're always hungry."

Gwaine shrugged and said, "Well I am a growing boy and I do need my nourishment."

Merlin and the others snorted with laughter as Arthur said, "It is getting close to lunch. Let's all go in and have a meal."

Acting more on instinct than anything else Merlin turned towards the kitchens, "Right, I'll have something brought up. Any preferences?"

As Merlin started walking Arthur's voice rang out, "And just where do you think you're going Merlin?"

Merlin turned curiously and pointed back to the kitchen saying in a self-explanatory voice, "to the kitchens. That is where the food is kept."

Arthur shook his head, "didn't we all just agree that you weren't working right now."

Merlin shrugged, "I don't mind, fetching food isn't that hard."

Arthur snorted, "Maybe not, but it'll be rather hard for you to join us if you're running to the kitchens to gather the food."

Merlin's jaw hit the floor at this statement, for a few moments he stood their gaping stupidly too shocked to really register what Arthur had just said. In all Merlin's years at Camelot he had never, not once, been invited to eat at the table with Arthur and the others (unless they were out hunting or on patrol, but that was totally different). Merlin spluttered a few times before saying, "Me? Arthur are you sure? I mean, I'm just a servant people might protest."

Arthur drew himself up to his full height and said, "Merlin you are not just a servant. You are someone who has saved my life a number of times and that deserves to be properly recognized. I think allowing you to eat with us is the least I can offer you as a reward, and anyone who speaks against your presence may answer to me." Arthur turned to Gauis and Hunith and said, "You are both welcome to join us as well."

Hunith blushed deeply and bowed, "Thank you sire, but I am not appropriately dressed to be eating at the king's table."

Gwen stepped forward, "Oh nonsense Hunith, you look lovely. Besides Gwaine once dined with us covered in mud and wearing a torn shirt."

Gwaine simply shrugged, "We had been fighting all day and I was hungry."

The others snorted at the memory as Hunith said, "I would be honored."

Gauis smiled, "I would be pleased to join you as well sire."

Merlin continued to stare at Arthur turned back to him with a look that said, 'well?' Merlin was still sort of shocked by the idea of eating at the kings table, of having Arthur offer this honor to him. Merlin had saved Arthur a number of times over the years, and the only time Arthur had ever said 'thank you' had been after the incident where Merlin had been forced to lie in order to prevent Arthur from slaying Uther. And if Merlin were to be completely honest with himself that moment was probably the one he was least desirable to receive a 'thank you' for. To have Arthur invite him to dine at the table meant a lot.

Merlin grinned and nodded, "Thank you sire."

Arthur waved him along, "Well come on then."

Merlin instantly trotted off as they all headed to the main hall, as they walked past other servants and members of the court whispered and pointed as they past. Most of them were transfixed by Merlin's scars (after all none of them knew Arthur had just invited Merlin, his mother, and Gaius to dine with him), but just as before Merlin simply turned and gave the servants and wave and a cocky smile. Just as with the servants outside the others scattered as soon as he did. As for the courtiers, every single one who muttered at Merlin was soon confronted with an angry glare from the king which silenced them instantly.

As they walked into the hall Gwen called one of the other servants, a shorter broad shouldered man named Thomas who was a few years older than Merlin, and asked him to send them some food. As they walked to the table Merlin hesitated instinctively, despite the differences between Arthur and Uther it was highly unusual for the king to invite a servant, and a peasant to share his table. Arthur turned back, "If you're planning on standing there all day Merlin, I'll be more than happy to have a few wet clothes hung off your body. At least then you'll be serving a purpose."

Merlin quipped back, "Well sire, if you're that keen to flash your socks and breeches to the entirety of Camelot please don't let me stand in your way." And he walked over to the table, pulling out a chair for his mother as Arthur pulled one out for Gwen. Both women said 'thank you' as Arthur took his seat, despite Arthur's dismissal of the separation between classes it would still be incredibly scandalous for the other men not to wait for the king to be seated before they took seats themselves. As soon as Arthur was in his chair the others followed.

Merlin couldn't help feeling slightly out of place, this was still the kings table after all, and for all his hopes for the future Merlin had never expected Arthur to invite him to share it. Merlin shifted nervously in his seat and Thomas and another servant named Meredith, a small girl with mousey hair and a heart shaped face, came in carrying a platter of fruit and several jugs of water and wine. Merlin choose the water, he wasn't much of a drinker, and didn't know how alcohol would react with the pain-killing potions Gauis was still giving him to help dull the constant ache in his cheek.

They all began to eat as Thomas scuttled back to the kitchen for the rest of the meal. As they began to eat Elyan asked, "So Merlin, when are you planning on returning to your duties?"

Merlin turned to face him, "Why do you miss me?"

Arthur snorted, "On the contrary Merlin, we all find that things move much more smoothly without you around tripping over your own two feet every few minutes."

Merlin quipped back, "Yes, but I'm sure you've been bored stiff while I've been away. Our poor king, with no one but George around to make jokes about brass."

Arthur shook his head ruefully, "Don't remind me, George is a good servant, but he's so bloody dull he could probably put a dragon to sleep. Still, it's not as though I've been alone without you." Arthur smiled at Gwen, who blushed slightly, then continued, "No Merlin, we need you to return to duty, because without you around we've no one to torment."

Merlin said, "in that case I think I'll just stay in Gauis' rooms forever."

Arthur said, "nice try Merlin, but I want you back to work in a week, unless Gauis says otherwise."

Arthur turned to Gauis who shook his head, "that will be more than enough time sire."

Merlin sighed heavily, "I suppose, I'll just have to resign myself to once again taking up the duty of serving the biggest clotpole in the kingdom."

Arthur pointed at Merlin and gave a stern, "Watch it." As Peter and Meredith returned with lunch. Merlin felt his mouth water at the sight and smell of the freshly roasted pheasant they were eating. The only time Merlin had ever eaten from the kitchens had been when he had brought that chicken Arthur'd gotten for Gwen back to Gauis' quarters. The pheasant smelled wonderfully, the fresh herbs and spices used to season the meat gave off the most tantalizing scent and Merlin felt his mouth water as the meal was served out.

As per traditional, everyone waited until Arthur started to eat before serving themselves. Merlin couldn't help feeling slightly uneasy as Peter put a healthy portion of food on his plate, despite the smells that were making his stomach growl Merlin couldn't help feeling out of place at the moment. Hunith was also looking a little hesitantly at the food unsure if she should eat or not. Arthur noticed their reluctance and said, "You know Merlin, the purpose of putting food on a plate in front of you is for you to eat it, not stare at it."

Merlin shrugged as he dug in saying, "I was looking it over for safety Sire, after all there have been several poisonings throughout the years."

Arthur's eyes dulled slightly at the mention of poison and Merlin mentally kicked himself for reminding Arthur of Uther's death. Merlin blushed sheepishly as Arthur said, "Yes well, since no one's been affected yet I think you can deem the meal safe."

Merlin brought the pheasant to his mouth and nearly moaned out loud, it was absolutely delicious, a rich and slightly salty. It tasted a bit like chicken, but was a little stronger. The one taste was enough to remind Merlin of how hungry he was and he instantly dug in as Hunith began to eat as well. Merlin was surprised how well the meal passed, Arthur and the other knights spoke about the new battle techniques they'd been trying and a few of the training incidents they'd had while Merlin had been recuperating, and Merlin joked back with them as usual.

Gwen gently coaxed Hunith into a conversation and soon the two of them were deep in discussion about how to do more to help citizens who lived in outlying villagers away from the protection and resources available to ones who lived directly in and around Camelot. Merlin found himself completely forgetting about his face and finding it easy to relax back into his usual back and forth between Arthur and the others. Gauis and insisted Merlin come back to his quarters after lunch so he could reapply a paste to Merlin's wounds. Despite the fact that the gashes were relatively healed, they still needed to be treated carefully in order to protect against infection, which was much more likely now that the bandages were off and the wounds were exposed to the air.

The risk of infection was one of the reasons Gauis insisted Merlin wait until the wounds had fully closed before returning to work, there was too much danger of Merlin getting dirt or some other contaminant into the wounds and having them fester if he was scrubbing floors and mucking out the stables. Merlin sighed resignedly as he returned to the physicians' quarters, now that he was out and about he found it easier to remain amongst the usual hustle and bustle of the castle instead of going back to Gauis' rooms.

As Merlin walked back people continued to whisper as he passed, but he ignored them. Merlin was used to people treating him badly (after all tormenting him was one of Arthur's favorite past-times) and he found that he didn't really care as much about the starring. However, Merlin's grudging acceptance of his situation didn't last as he heard two ladies of the court gossiping louder than the others, "Honestly, I don't know what they king is thinking keeping that foolish manservant of his around. The boy's always been a useless, clumsy oaf, the only thing vaguely acceptable about him was he was half-decent looking and now he's lost that as well."

The other lady said, "Yes, I completely agree, I mean who in the world would want to be starring at someone so hideous every single day? If one of my servants were to be so badly damaged I'd simply dismiss them hire a new one."

The first lady nodded, "too true, all too true. You'd think the king of Camelot would have higher standards for his staff."

Merlin flinched away from them feeling slightly sick, but before he could dash off to hide back in Gauis' rooms sir Gwaine, who had been following along behind them turned and said, "King Arthur, is rewarding a servant who was nearly killed protecting the life of his ruler. Such an act is worthy of praise and not dismissal. King Arthur may not be perfect, but he appreciates and acknowledges all who are loyal to him, and it is not your place to question his actions." Gwaine paused then flashed a cheeky grin as he said in a tone of mock-puzzlement, "And I can't help but wonder what the king would say if he knew you were questioning his actions."

The two ladies went white as a pair of freshly laundered sheets as the spluttered out apologies and walked briskly away. Gwaine snarled at their retreating back, "Stupid twats." He muttered.

Merlin said, "Thanks Gwaine."

Gwaine cuffed Merlin playfully on the side of the head, "think nothing of it Merlin, those two idiots don't understand the sacrifices we've all made for Arthur, they don't appreciate the bravery of your actions and they aren't worth the trouble of worrying about."

Merlin felt the lump return to his stomach as he said, "That may be, but the problem is that a lot of the nobility are going to be saying the same thing. Everyone's going to be talking about what a useless, ugly, good for nothing I am now."

Merlin winced slightly, "You know one of the few things I liked about serving Arthur was that I could go unnoticed. It was easy for me to disappear amongst the other servants, and when things were getting too hard for me, or if I needed to go off and do something I could just blend in with everyone else and people would just sort of forget I was around. That way I could avoid people giving me trouble or just go take a few minutes for myself, but now I don't have that. I'm going to be sticking out like a sore thumb from now on, everyone's going to be starring and noticing me no matter what."

Merlin leaned against the wall looking suddenly tired, "you know, I thought I was ready for all of this, and now I'm not so sure."

Gwaine looked completely puzzled at how to deal with the situation, he spluttered uncertainly, "Ah, Merlin I, well uh…."

Gwaine stood there totally overwhelmed with how to deal with the situation, but Gauis and Hunith noticed Gwaine's struggles and walked over to the two. Hunith pulled Merlin into a hug as Gauis said, "Merlin, I'm sorry you've lost that. I know how much being able to blend in means to you when it comes to fulfilling your duties, but you'll find a way around it just like you did with all the other challenges you've had to face."

Merlin nodded feeling himself start to shake slightly, Hunith added, "and Merlin you need to remember that people will be shocked by your appearance now, but eventually they will become accustomed to the changes in your looks and won't even notice it."

Merlin shuddered, "That doesn't make it any easier. I've never cared much about my looks, but now." Merlin said, "People are going to be repulsed by me now."

Hunith continued to hold her son as she said, "People who don't know you may very well see you as ugly, but those who do know you will see the truth. They will see that you are a brave, kind, and strong young man, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. There never has been and there never will be."

Merlin just stood there leaning into his mother not caring if anyone saw, Gwaine offered them what protection he could by blocking off the alcove they were standing in order to ensure that Merlin had the privacy he needed.

Merlin could feel a few tears sprinkling falling leaking down his cheek as he stood, being smacked with the reality of his situation when he'd been doing so well wasn't easy. Finally, Merlin pulled back and straightened himself out as he wiped his face, leaning his head against his mothers', "It's just, I thought I was ready for everything, and I just realized that I'm not."

Gauis rubbed his back softly, "you can never plan for every challenge you will have to face, you simply have to accept them as they come. It'll never be easy, but we'll be here for you."

Gwaine said, "all of us will be here Merlin."

Merlin gave a very weak smile, "thanks. Come on, we can't very well stand in the middle of the hall all day."

Gauis could tell Merlin was trying to pull himself out of his depression by focusing his mind on something else and went with it, "no we can not. Now let's get you back to my rooms so I can look you over."

Gwaine walked them back to the physicians rooms then bid farewell to everyone and headed back to Arthur. Gwaine found the king, and the queen, in Arthur's room looking over a set of scrolls. Gwaine coughed slightly to gain their attention and sure enough both of them looked up.

Arthur spoke first, "What is it Gwaine?"

Gwaine sighed and explained what had just happened, Gwen scowled angrily and Arthur stood, anger etched clearly on his face, "Stupid nitwits, Merlin is a major pain, but he is a good man and his actions are deserving of respect not insult."

Gwen said, "Then we need to let everyone know that."

Arthur turned and as his eyes met his wife's the two of them had a silent conversation and after moment they both nodded in agreement. Arthur gave a knowing smirk, "Yes, I have been thinking that Merlin deserves to be rewarded for his actions. We need to show everyone that his actions are worthy of honor, and that I am incredibly grateful to him for what he did."

Gwaine came forward saying, "Arthur, whatever you decide to do, if it helps Merlin I can promise you the other knights and I will be there with you."

Arthur turned and grinned cheekily, "Exactly what I was hoping for, summon Tristan and the others immediately. I've got a plan."

Gwaine raised an eyebrow and said, "Well let's hope that it goes better than most of your usual plans tend to go."

Arthur shrugged, "Well, I don't know what will happen, but you have to admit we're must less likely to come this close" he held his thumb and forefinger barley an inch apart from each other, "to getting killed this time."

Gwaine nodded in agreement, "True, very true. All right, I'll go get the others" And he tottered off, it didn't take long before Arthur and the knights were crowded around Arthur's work table discussing Arthur's idea. Usually they would be meeting together at the round table, but Arthur didn't want word getting back to Merlin and he knew that his quarters were one of the few places in the castle where he could be relatively confident in their not being overheard.

EXCAEXCAEXCAEXCAEXCAEXCA

Merlin winced slightly as Gauis rubbed the foul smelling paste into his cheek, not only did the stuff stink terribly, but it also stung a bit. Gauis said, "I'm sorry Merlin, but there's no other way."

Merlin sat still as Gauis finished applying the paste, the stuff smelled like burnt food and made Merlin gag slightly. As Merlin sat with the thick yellow salve covering his cheek he squirmed as it began to dry, it felt like having drying mud on his face. Merlin ran a hand through his already messy hair as he groaned loudly, "this is going to be so much harder than I thought it would be."

Gauis rubbed his shoulders as Hunith wrapped and arm around her son. As hard as it was for both of them to accept this was one time where they couldn't offer any experience of advice to deal with a problem. Neither of them knew what it was like to suddenly be badly scarred and become the center of court gossip as a result. While they could both be there to help and support Merlin they couldn't do anything more to help him, and that hurt them both more than they could say.

The next few days were difficult for Merlin, he had stayed up most of the first night talking to Gauis and his mother, but it still wasn't easy for him. Merlin refused to let the courtiers frighten him into hiding away, but it was still difficult for him to deal with all the stares, and pointing and whispering. What made things worse was that Arthur and the others were (rather obviously) up to something, and every time Merlin tried to figure out what it was they instantly went quiet and grinned knowingly, so Merlin knew that whatever they were doing had to do with him.

Merlin couldn't help getting frustrated by the knights keeping, whatever the Hell it was they were hiding, from him. Especially after what had just happened, and what made it worse was that they seemed to find his getting annoyed about it all very funny. Three days after he had first left Gauis' quarters Merlin was told to put on his best clothes and come to main hall. Merlin rolled his eyes and changed into the same outfit he'd worn for Arthur and Gwen's marriage and walked into the hall.

Arthur and the knights were standing there along with several members of the court. As soon as Merlin entered Arthur said, "Snap to men." The knights instantly stood straight and turned to face Merlin who walked forward as Arthur said, "Merlin, I have summoned you here today to thank you for your actions during the griffin attack. I know it has been difficult for you to adjust to this change in your life, and many people have spoken ill of you since you were injured. The fact remains that you were injured protecting me and that deserves honoring, so step forward."

Merlin blushed slightly as he walked forward seeing his mother and Gauis standing proudly next to Arthur and Gwen. Merlin didn't have the slightest clue what Arthur was planning, but he knew enough about court traditions to bow as reached the king and queen.

Arthur said, "Merlin Ambrosia." Merlin blushed even deeper at the sound of his last name, he'd never really liked it, "you have preformed an honorable act in the service of Camelot, you put yourself in serious dangers on a number of occasions to protect me. You were nearly killed drinking poison to protect me, and you have been scarred saving me from an attack by a fierce beast. In gratitude for your actions I, King Arthur Pendragon do hereby offer you this token of appreciation so that everyone will know of your actions."

Arthur held out his hand and Merlin gasped, Arthur was holding a ring with a Camelot crest on it. To be given a signet ring by the king was usually a reward only offered to those who had committed great acts of bravery and service to the kingdom. It was a truly special and rare gift, Merlin reached out and took the ring feeling truly awed, "Thank you sire, this is…"Merlin stumbled slightly, "Truly incredible, I am honored."

Merlin put the ring on feeling incredibly overwhelmed as he did so, "You earned it Merlin, now no matter where you go, everyone will see that you are an ally of Camelot and a friend to the kingdom."

Merlin bowed again as everyone started clapping, Merlin said, "Thank you again sire." Then he whispered, "but you could have given me at least a little warning."

Arthur clapped him on the shoulder, "and miss the look on your face, or the opportunity to bestow public awkwardness upon you, never."

Merlin wrinkled his nose, "I don't need your help to make an idiot of myself in public."

Arthur smacked him again and said, "Believe me Merlin I know."

Merlin grinned as everyone begin to step forward and congratulate him, this truly meant a lot to him, Arthur had never publicly rewarded (or even thanked) Merlin for anything before, Merlin was used to saving Camelot and having no one but Gauis, Hunith, or the great dragon (and occasionally Lancelot) knowing about it. To receive this kind of public acknowledgement was rather disconcerting for him, but he found that he like the idea. Merlin kept starring at his hand, half expecting the rign wouldn't be there the next time he glanced over at it. Merlin couldn't stop smiling as the he walked back out of the hall with everyone else and headed out to the banquet hall to celebrate.

Merlin returned to duty by the end of week, but it still took several more before Gauis deemed Merlin's rooms completely healed (or as well as they ever could be), but by that time Merlin found it relatively easy to swing back into his daily chores. Hunith returned to Ealdor after a very tearful good-bye and Merlin slowly re-adjusted to life at Arthur's beck and call, Merlin wore his ring at all times, he kept it hung on a chain around his neck so he didn't have to worry about losing it or getting it caught on anything when he was cleaning and such. Merlin found that people did indeed treat him differently, but not in a bad way. Arthur's presentation had shown everyone how much the simple servant meant to the king and no one was willing to risk Arthur's anger by insulting or mistreating Merlin again. In fact, for the first time ever, Merlin found himself treated with a slight amount of respect and gratitude by most of the people in Camelot.

Despite all of this there was still a great deal of pointing and whispering, and of course starring, when Merlin traveled through the castle, and more than once Merlin returned to Gauis' chambers exhausted and very bad tempered. Gauis helped Merlin through it just as he always had, by offering a sympathetic ear and knowing advice for the problem. Then one day it happened, Merlin completely forgot about his scars, he didn't spend all of his time being frustrated by the stares and whispers, he didn't worry about other people, he didn't even catch himself looking into reflective surfaces over and over again. He just went about his day like he normally would and when he returned to Gauis' chamber realized he'd gone the entire time without once bothering over his scars.

Merlin grinned to himself as he realized something, being injured had changed him a great deal, but despite all these changes he was still the same person he'd always been and as long as he held onto that, and had the support of his friends he could get through this and get back to his destiny of helping Arthur unite the land of Albion. Merlin headed off to bed going over his usual list of chores and groaning as he realized that despite Arthur's gratitude the annoying king hadn't done anything to lighten Merlin's workload. Merlin shrugged as he changed into his night shirt and said to himself, "Well I guess some things will never change." And feel asleep feeling slightly comforted by the fact that as difficult as all of this was the sense of normalcy was exactly what he needed right now, and as much as he might hate himself for admitting it, he was somewhat grateful to Arthur for offering him that. Yes, as long as he had Gauis, Gwen, Arthur, and the others Merlin knew he'd be alright.

The end.

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