For the 5 10 20 50 75 100 Fandoms Challenge by Shermione, I bring you Flushed. My first Homestuck fanfiction so not bound to be very good, but oh well. Try to enjoy anyways.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) began trolling grimAuxiliatrix (GA):

CG: KANAYA

CG: KANAYA, ARE YOU ON?

CG: OKAY, WELL, LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU GET ON, I GUESS...

GA: Hello Karkat. You Wanted To Talk To Me?

CG: OH, THERE YOU ARE

CG: YEAH, I DID

GA: About What?

CG: WELL...

CG: FUCK, THIS IS HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE

CG: I THINK I HAVE FEELINGS FOR... SOMEONE

GA: Someone? Who?

CG: NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW.

CG: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT?

GA: Are They Red Or Black Feelings?

CG: DO YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD HAVE TO COME TO YOU ABOUT BLACK FEELINGS?

CG: I HATE EVERYONE, EVERYONE HATES ME

CG: I THINK I CAN HANDLE HATE, ROMANTIC OR OTHERWISE

GA: I Don't Hate You

GA: And I Hope You Don't Hate Me

GA: You're Not Really Supposed To Hate Your Morail, Karkat.

CG: EVERYONE BESIDES YOU

GA: And This Mystery Person?

CG: EXACTLY

GA: Well, I'm Not Sure How You Expect Me To Help You.

GA: I Can't Really Advise You On How To Deal With Red Feelings For A Troll Who Remains Nameless

GA: I'm Assuming It's A Troll?

CG: OF COURSE ITS A TROLL

CG: HAVE I NOT MADE IT CLEAR ENOUGH THAT ANY SORT OF TROLL/HUMAN RELATIONSHIP IS UNNATURAL AND DERANGED AND I REFUSE TO TAKE PART IN ONE?

GA: Just Making Sure, Karkat.

CG: RIGHT WELL...

CG: FUCK THIS IS HARD

GA: You're Going To Have To Get It Out Sooner Or Later

GA: If You Can't Even Tell Me, How Do You Expect To Be Able To Confront Them?

CG: GOG DAMMIT KANAYA I KNOW

CG: ITS JUST HARD TO ACTUALLY ADMIT IT YOU KNOW?

CG: ITS LIKE ONCE I ACTUALLY SAY IT, ITS REAL

CG: ITS ACTUALLY FUCKING HAPPENING

GA: It's Already Happening, Karkat. Saying It Out Loud Can Only Help.

CG: ITS CAPTOR, ALRIGHT? IM FLUSHED FOR CAPTOR.

GA: Sollux Captor?

CG: NO THE OTHER CAPTOR WE KNOW

CG: YES SOLLUX

GA: Sorry, Had To Check. You Seem Pretty High Strung. You Must Like Him A Lot.

CG: OKAY BUT WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT?

GA: The Only Thing You Can Really Do Is Confess To Him, I Think.

CG: ANY OTHER IDEAS?

GA: Well You Could Always Wallow In Your Own Self Pity And Hide Your True Feelings Until They Burst Out At The Completely Wrong Moment

GA: But I Wouldn't Suggest That Option

CG: WELL COMPARED TO YOUR FIRST BRILLIANT IDEA I KIND OF LIKE IT

CG: I CAN WALLOW IN MY OWN SELF PITY AS LONG AS I LIKE, I DO IT ALL THE FUCKING TIME ANYWAY.

GA: Karkat, You're Being Immature.

GA: The Adult Thing To Do In This Situation Would Be To Confront Your Own Feelings And Fears And Stop Taking Your Frustration Out On Other People

CG: WE'RE SIX SWEEPS OLD

CG: WHY SHOULD I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ACTING LIKE AN ADULT

CG: I HAVE PLENTY OF TIME BEFORE THAT

GA: Just Tell Him. You Want To Be With Him, Don't You?

CG: I GUESS SO

GA: So You're Interested In Pursuing A Matespriteship With Sollux?

CG: WELL I MEAN I GUESS SO.

CG: WE'RE A LITTLE YOUNG TO BE THINKING THAT FAR AHEAD DON'T YOU THINK

CG: AGAIN, SIX SWEEPS OLD

GA: Maybe Now, But Think About The Future.

GA: Isn't That The Advice You Gave John And Dave?

CG: I WAS TRYING TO GET THEM TO STOP FLIRTING WITH VRISKA AND TEREZI DAMMIT

CG: THAT ADVICE DOESN'T APPLY AT ALL TO THE SITUATION

CG: HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT ANYWAY?

GA: You Wrote It On A Memo. Anyone Can See Those, You Know.

CG: FUCK

CG: OKAY WELL NEVER MIND. MY POINT WAS THAT WAS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SITUATION AND DOESN'T APPLY TO THIS AT ALL.

GA: Not Really. As I Recall, The Topic Had Changed To Who John And Dave Should Be Matesprites With, Didn't It?

CG: SO I HAVE NO CHOICE THEN

CG: THIS IS THE ONLY CHOICE YOU'RE GIVING ME

CG: WELL FUCK THAT THANKS BUT NO THANKS MARYAM

CG: TALK TO YOU LATER.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix (GA)

GA: Karkat, Wait

GA: Fine Then, You've Forced My Hand

twinArmageddons (TA) started trolling carcinoGeneticist (CG):

TA: kanaya 2aiid you needed to talk to me?

CG: ...SHE SAID WHAT?

CG: FUCKING HELL, I CAN'T BELIEVE HER.

CG: DID SHE SAY ABOUT WHAT?

TA: no 2he wouldn't tell me

TA: what2 going on kk? 2he 2aiid iit wa2 important

CG: NO ITS NOT IMPORTANT, IT'S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL, JUST GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.

TA: okay now ii know somethiings up

TA: c'mon, fess up

CG: IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, FUCKER

CG: LEAVE ME ALONE, WOULD YOU?

TA: apparently iit ii2

CG: WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU'RE A MORON, THAT'S ALL YOU ARE. A FUCKING MORON WHO CAN'T EVEN MAKE ONE SHITTY CODE.

TA: code? moron? that2 all you've got? your iin2ult2 are shit today, kk. you're obviou2ly 2tre22ed out about something.

CG: NO IM NOT STRESSED OUT AT ALL.

CG: JUST SHUT UP AND GO AWAY THE SIGHT OF YOUR STUPID TYPING QUIRK IS PISSING ME OFF MORE THAN USUAL TODAY.

TA: becau2e of...?

CG: BECAUSE OF NOTHING. STOP FUCKING BOTHERING ME BEFORE I RESORT TO BLOCKING YOU YOU FUCKER.

TA: you know that even iif you diid iit wouldn't matter. dammiit kk, why not just tell me? get iit off your chest.

CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE? WHY DO YOU GIVE A PUNGENT WRITHING LUMPSQUIRT ABOUT MY MENTAL STATE?

TA: becau2e you're my friiend

CG: THAT'S A LOVELY EXCUSE

CG: AND NOW THE TRUTH?

TA: kanaya made me curiious.

CG: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

CG: AND SEEING AS YOU DON'T OBVIOUSLY DON'T ACTUALLY CARE, GOODBYE IDIOT.

TA: come on kk. whatever iit ii2 iit2 obviiously botheriing the fuck out of you. sayiing iit wiill only help.

CG: GOD YOU SOUND LIKE KANAYA NOW.

TA: iif we've both 2aiid iit iit2 probably true. just tell me.

CG: NO

TA: kk...

CG: NO FUCKING WAY

TA: okay how about thii2? iif you tell me what2 on your miind ii'll tell you a 2ecret iive been keepiing from you for a whiile.

TA: wiill you tell me then?

CG: THERE'S ABSOLUTELY NO WAY IT'S AS EMBARRASSING AS MINE. SO NO.

TA: ii don't know kk iit2 pretty bad. or maybe not bad...

CG: THEN WHAT IS IT

TA: never miind, just tell me what your2 ii2.

CG: ... FINE BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU'RE TELLING ME YOUR SECRET

CG: NOT THAT I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT IT

CG: ... IM FLUSHED FOR SOMEONE ALRIGHT.

TA: seriiously? wow who?

CG: NOT SAYING.

TA: ii won't tell you my 2ecret unle22 you 2ay

CG: WHAT

CG: YOU FUCKING ASS, YOU WEREN'T PLANNING ON TELLING ME FROM THE START WERE YOU

TA: the way ii 2ee iit, you haven't upheld your end of the deal untiil you tell me

CG: HOW DO YOU FIGURE THAT ONE?

TA: iit2 part of the 2ecret ii2nt iit

CG: ... APPARENTLY IM A FUCKING MORON

TA: why?

CG: BECAUSE IM FLUSHED FOR A MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLE.

TA: you're not exactly an iinoccent bundle of joy you know

CG: YOU JUST DONT GET IT DO YOU

TA: get what?

CG: WOW YOU REALLY ARE A FUCKING MORON

CG: WHO'S BEEN MANIPULATING ME THIS ENTIRE FUCKING CONVERSATION

CG: WHO PULLED AN ANSWER FROM ME BY FUCKING MESSING WITH MY HEAD

TA: ii diidnt me22 wiith you're head, ii just- oh.

CG: STILL THINK YOUR SECRET IS MORE EMBARRASSING FUCKER

CG: GONNA GO HAVE A GOOD LAUGH ABOUT THAT NOW? GUESS WHAT KK TOLD ME, GUESS WHO KK IS FLUSHED FOR, EVERYONE. LET'S ALL HAVE A GOOD LAUGH AT THAT MORON ON KARKAT FOR FALLING FOR SUCH A DOUCHEBAG.

CG: FUCK I REALLY AM AN IDIOT

TA: kk would you 2hut up for two seconds?

TA: my 2ecret... iit2 the 2ame alright? the 2ame damn thiing. only diifference ii2 iim not fucking screaming at the guy and accussiing hiim of gossiipiing about hiim, or whatever iit wa2 you were 2aying.

CG: YOU'RE LYING

TA: iim not

CG: YOU HAVE TO BE.

TA: why ii2 that

CG: BECAUSE ITS ME

CG: HOW CAN YOU CLAIM TO KNOW ME AND NOT HATE ME SEE IT JUST DOESN'T WORK

TA: your not really a bad person kk

TA: you just have... anger management ii22ue2

CG: NO, THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE HOW CAN YOU BE MAKING EXCUSES FOR ME?

TA: are you actually tryiing to talk me out of iit? after you confessed fiirst?

CG: TALK YOU OUT OF WHAT THERE IS NOTHING TO TALK YOU OUT OF BECAUSE THIS ISN'T ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

TA: okay... what about theoretically?

CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON ABOUT NOW?

TA: well, obviou2ly you aren't goiing to accept that ii miight actually have feeliing2 for you.

TA: so tell me thiis then

TA: iif, theoretically of course, ii had red feeliing2 for you, what would you do?

CG: THEORETICALLY?

TA: ye2.

CG: THAT COULDN'T FUCKING HAPPEN THOUGH, SINCE IM SUCH AN ASS TO YOU.

TA: ... then iif you weren't 2uch an a22 to me.

CG: I DONT KNOW. IF WE WERE, YOU KNOW, FLUSHED FOR EACH OTHER

CG: WOULDN'T THAT MAKE US MATESPRITES?

CG: WAIT FUCK NOW I SOUND LIKE SOME SORT OF ROMANTIC LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT SORT OF PERSON

CG: FORGET I SAID THAT.

TA: but you're riight. iif we were both flu2hed for each other we would probably be mate2priite2. or iit would be more liikely at lea2t.

TA: so iif we were both flu2hed for each other, would you try?

CG: TRY WHAT

TA: a relatiion2hiip, dumb ass.

CG: THEORETICALLY SPEAKING? ... I GUESS.

TA: 2ay we were together then. would you want to come to my hiive today?

CG: IF WE WERE A COUPLE AND THIS WASN'T A COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL CONVERSATION, THEN I WOULD BE OVER IN 10 MINUTES.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) ceased trolling twinArmageddons (TA)