A/N Chapter 5! Review time!

livvy15274~ Max not liking Spongebob was just my opinion of her. Sorry that you felt differently. I'm glad you still liked the story!

Adalyn333~ I'm glad you liked the cake! Thanks for your opinion on Total's POV. I was worried that I had messed it up when I wrote it. But, yay! According to you I did a good job! Thanks!

Phoebstar989~I'm glad you liked the password. I got your review in the middle of working on some unpleasant schoolwork, so I really enjoyed it. I tried to keep Max more in character this chapter. Thank you very, very, VERY much for submitting your questions, I wrote much faster after I got your ideas. I also used TheDramaLlama as a minor character in this chapter. I hope that's okay!

Hana~ Thanks for reviewing. Even though I disagree with your opinion, I was glad to hear it.

Now that that's out of the way... I'm going to give Adalyn333 more internet cake for reviewing on 3 chapters, and a mini internet llama to Phoebstar989 for her (I'm assuming you're a girl) lovely reviews. NOTE: I made Fang's blog a little off canon. I know that the actual bloggers give their names, ages, and countries, but I changed it to usernames. That's just my preference.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN JESS OR THEDRAMALLAMA. JESS IS JAMES PATTERSON'S, AND THEDRAMALLAMA IS AN ACTUAL HUMAN.

Chat with Total in TWO nights from 6:00 to 7:30! Don't miss it! Who's participating?

Nudge

(show all 17 comments)

TheDramaLlama: I'm going! I already have several questions planned out…

ILuvFang: I'm participating.

Wishing4Wings: Oh yeah… get ready Total I'm getting lots of stuff ready for you;)

…

Chat with Total tomorrow! It starts at six. Anyone excited?

Nudge

(show all 15 comments)

TheDramaLlama: Ooh, Ooh, me!

Flock101: I'm excited.

EagleEyes: Absolutely!

…

You can chat with Total tonight from 6:00 to 7:30. Don't forget!

Nudge

(show all 20 comments)

Jess: I was grounded for the past two days for trying to fly out a window with a pair of makeshift wings. I got caught before I could try though… I guess I'll never join the flock Anyway, I got my computer taken away, but I have it back now and will most definitely be on tonight for Total's chat!

Wishing4Wings: I'm actually counting the seconds…

Flock101: Yay! XD

…

I watched Nudge log off of Fang's blog after posting the last reminder for Total's chat tonight. Seeing the amount of bloggers who were actually going to be attending the event, I was already starting to regret approving Nudge's plan. I had once again underestimated the power of Fang's blog. Jeez that thing had a lot of followers!

"Max," Fang said. "You need to work on controlling your body language. I can practically read your mind right now." I cringed when I realized I was making faces to go along with my thoughts. Fang smirked.

"You sure you're not just developing more powers?" I countered.

"Positive," he replied. "We definitely don't need another mind-reader."

"Got that right," I replied absently, going back to my previous thoughts. This time, however, I was careful to keep my face expressionless. I had a feeling of dread I couldn't shake about tonight's 'Chat with Total'. It was probably just my normal paranoia, but still…

"Hey Nudge! Are you sure the computer's firewalls are strong enough to keep any unwanted guests out?"

"Yeah, absolutely," she answered, looking up from whatever it was she was doing on the laptop. "I'm adding more protection right now just to be sure." Oh, that's what she was doing. "I'm also watching a really cute cat video on YouTube. It's adorable! The cat is…" I tuned out the rest of her rant on the cuteness factor of kittens. I went into the kitchen to get motherly advice and a cookie. Well, mostly for a cookie. My mom just happened to be in there and ready to impart some wisdom.

"Max, I can tell something's bothering you. Is it the chat with Total thing that's happening tonight?" Fang was right: I really DO need to work on controlling my body language. I've been getting soft. Not being kidnapped or interrogated for a few months had really taken a toll on my self-control.

"Is it really that obvious?" I asked, grabbing a cookie.

"A little," she replied. "You just need to relax. One little chat can't do that much harm, can it? You also need to remember Nudge is a master hacker. She knows all the tricks to keep you guys anonymous. That high-tech computer you have helps too."

"Igesho,"I answered, with my mouth full of cookie.

"What?"

I swallowed the bite of cookie I had just taken and then repeated myself. "I guess so."

My mom rolled her eyes, and handed me another cookie. We almost had a full mother/daughter talk. It was ALMOST a normal-human-girl-moment. But, of course, my life is so far from normal that actually having a 'normal' moment would probably scare me worse than any Eraser attack. Anyway, Iggy and Gazzy decided to ruin the moment by sliding into the kitchen wearing some ski masks they found shouting, "WE ARE THE COOKIE NINJAS!" When Gazzy noticed me and my mom staring at him and Iggy, he nudged Iggy.

"I thought your Intel said that she was out of the house today."

"She WAS," Iggy whispered back. "She must have changed her plans."

"I'm standing right here," I said annoyed that a rare normal moment had been ruined by the flock's two pyros. "Do you care to explain to me exactly WHY you felt it necessary run in here screaming 'cookie ninjas'?" The two could most likely see I was really angry, so they opted to tell the truth. Good for them.

"We thought you would be at the mall today with Ella, so we decided to grab cookies while you weren't here. The 'cookie ninja' thing was just a little fun we decided to add to it. It would've worked if it weren't for SOMEONE giving me the wrong information," explained Gazzy.

"My Intel came strait from a reliable source," said Iggy, irritated that Gazzy was blaming HIM for their plan going wrong.

"Oh? Exactly-" I cut Gazzy off mid-argument.

"It was BOTH of your faults. You shouldn't have tried to go behind my back AGAIN. Luckily for you, I actually have something that needs doing that YOU can do for me." At this point my voice had gone ice cold. "Total has requested that he gets a spa treatment in preparation for his chat tonight. I had originally said no. Luckily for him, you two have so graciously volunteered to follow his every order in order for him to feel handsome."

"But Maax. It's an INTERNET chat. No one will even SEE him!" protested Gazzy. Iggy had the good sense to keep his mouth shut.

"Do you think it makes a difference to Total?" I asked. "Go upstairs and get started. I'm sure there's a lot to get done before tonight." Gazzy opened his mouth to protest again, but thought better of it. The two went upstairs to attend to Total.

"Mom," I said. "Make sure none of the Flock get any cookies while Ella and I are gone. We'll be back sometime before six."

"Sure. Have fun!" my mom replied. I went to go retrieve Ella, and we walked to the mall.

…

Gazzy was furious at his best friend. He had trusted Iggy to get reliable information on how to get some chocolate chip cookies while Max was gone. Now they were stuck pampering Total. He and Iggy walked up to Total's room and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" asked Total.

"It's the pampering squad," replied Iggy, frowning.

"Oh, Max finally approved my request? Do come in," said Total, pompously. The two boys walked into the room. "Alright. Now that you're both here, we have lots of work to do. I took the liberty of having Angel type out a list of my requests. Here." Total tossed the list to Gazzy.

Gazzy looked at it. "Really, Total?"

Iggy got an irritated expression on his face. "What does it say?" he asked.

"Oh, right. It says:

Bathe me. (don't forget to use the strawberry shampoo!)

Blow-dry and brush my fur. (I'm sensitive, so don't pull too hard.)

Trim and file my nails.

Help me put on my bowtie." explained Gazzy.

"Great," said Iggy sarcastically. "Let's get started." The two cookie ninjas took Total to the bathroom down the hall to begin his improvised spa experience.

…

"Ella! You liar! You said we were going to Dairy Queen to get blizzards, not going shopping for clothes!" I hissed in the middle of Macys. She turned to me holding up a green dress. Don't ask for a more detailed explanation. I'm useless in this 'fashion' stuff.

"What do you think?" she asked, completely ignoring my whining.

"It looks like a green dress," I replied impatiently. "When are we going to get these 'blizzards' that you said, and I quote, are 'a necessary part of human existence to taste'?" I asked.

"Yeesh! Calm down Max! I just need to pick out a dress for a party I'm going to next week, and THEN we can get blizzards. We could leave a whole lot faster if you'd just help me pick out a dress."

I rolled my eyes, plunged my arm into a random rack of dresses, and pulled one out. "How about this one?" I asked. Ella looked at the dress, and then looked at me.

"It's perfect!" she said. "It's not too dressy, but not too casual, and I have a pair of shoes that match it perfectly!" I peered at the red dress, and tried to see what she was talking about, but my effort was a waste of time. I have absolutely no fashion knowledge. Sure I know over thirty different ways to kill an Eraser, but when it comes to clothes I know nothing. Ella was happy though, and we were leaving the store to go get blizzards. That was all that mattered.

…

"Remember: I only take baths in water exactly 85 F," Total instructed Gazzy and Iggy. "If you're not sure, there's a thermometer in the kitchen."

Iggy turned to Gazzy. "I'll make sure the water doesn't get too high. You go get the thermometer."

Gazzy saluted, and then realized it was pointless. He settled for a sarcastic, "Yes sir."

"I don't want to be doing this either, but I'd rather be a dog pamperer than get killed by Max," Iggy replied. Gazzy couldn't argue with Iggy's logic. He was starting to understand Max's sincere hatred for logic. He ran down to the kitchen to get the thermometer. When he arrived back upstairs the tub was full. He stuck the thermometer in the water, and was relieved when it said the water was exactly the right temperature.

"Throw him in Iggy," he ordered. Iggy got a malicious grin on his face, and before Total could protest, plopped the dog into the bathtub. Total came up sputtering.

"How DARE you throw me into the bath like that!" he exclaimed. "That was just plain RUDE. If you EVER-" Gazzy promptly pushed the dog under again to spare him and Iggy from further dramatic comments. When Total came up the second tome, he was intelligent enough to keep his mouth shut. Gazzy grabbed the strawberry shampoo (as per the list's instructions) and started to scrub Total. Iggy then got the job of dunking the dog again to rinse the shampoo out. At Total's instruction, the two repeated the process to make sure he was squeaky clean.

Gazzy and Iggy plucked Total out of the tub and dried him off with fluffy towels. The first chore was checked off the list. The next thing on the list was to blow-dry and brush Total's fur. "What's a 'blow dryer'?" asked Gazzy.

Iggy shrugged. "I have no idea. Go ask Nudge." Gazzy ran downstairs for the second time that afternoon.

"NUDGE! I NEED YOUR HELP!" Gazzy shouted, after a few seconds of looking for her.

"I'm right here. Quit yelling. What do you need my help with? You usually ask Iggy or Max. This is actually kinda flattering. Do you really prefer my help now? 'Cause that's-"

"What's a blow dryer, and where can I find one?" Gazzy interrupted.

Nudge giggled. "Why do YOU need a blow dryer? You're a boy!" She started to giggle again, and after she controlled herself, she continued. "A blow dryer is a tool you use to dry your hair. It blows hot air and that dries hair faster than a towel. There's one in Dr. Martinez's bathroom."

"Right, Thanks." Gazzy went to go back upstairs, and then turned around. "What does it look like?"

Nudge rolled her eyes. "To put it in boy terms, it looks like a ray gun."

"Cool!" Gazzy ran back upstairs. He found the hair dryer fairly quickly with Nudge's description to go on. He walked back into the bathroom where Total and Iggy were waiting, and held the device above his head triumphantly. "The dryer has been found!"

"Finally," said Total. " I was beginning to think you'd NEVER return!"
"Way to ruin the moment Total," said Iggy. He turned to address Gazzy. "Wanna plug it in genius? Or are you just gonna stand there waving it around?" Gazzy sighed, his moment of glory over, and went to plug in the blow dryer.

"Total! Get your furry butt over here so I can dry you off."

"I don't get to help? My heart is broken," said Iggy, dryly. Gazzy stuck his tongue out, and began to carefully brush and dry the dramatic dog's fur.

"We're only half done? Drat. I was hoping we'd spend all week on this. I'm so disappointed," said Gazzy sarcastically.

"Gazzy! I'm so proud of you! You've earned a blue belt in sarcasm!" said Iggy, smirking.

…

I was stoked. Ella and I had finally left Macys. It was time for me to taste my first blizzard. It was kind of a weird thing to get excited over, but I hadn't had normal ice cream in a little over a year, and Ella had said that blizzards were at least three times as good as ice cream. So, yeah, I was a little excited. No matter what anyone else says, I was absolutely NOT skipping around in anticipation of my frosty treat.

"Max, quit skipping. People are staring," Ella said, laughing. Well, maybe I was skipping a little. "There," she said, pointing at a small shop in the corner of the mall. "That's the Dairy Queen. Are you ready for your first blizzard?" I nodded absently. I was too absorbed in looking at all the flavors to choose from to pay much attention to what my sister was saying. We walked up to the counter to order.

"Hello, welcome to Dairy Queen. What can I get for you today?" the girl behind the counter asked.

"I'd like a small Hawaiian blizzard. Max? What do you want?" I was still staring at all of the flavors and was too engrossed in looking at the flavors to register what she was saying. "Max!" she punched my arm. Well. That got my attention.

"What!?" I snapped at her. She pointed at the girl behind the counter. She looked borderline annoyed at me. "Oh, right. Um, can I have a Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough blizzard in whatever the biggest size you have is? The girl gawked at me, but made our orders. It was my turn to stare: when she was done, she turned our blizzards upside down… and they didn't fall out! I was pretty impressed. Ella paid, and we walked away from the store and sat down at a nearby bench.

"I'm SHOCKED you chose the chocolate chip cookie dough one."
I didn't retaliate to her sarcasm because I was too busy inhaling my blizzard. "This. Is. So. Good," I said. Ella laughed at me, and began to eat her blizzard too. This was officially the best day of my life. I LOVE blizzards.

…

"The nail clippers are in my suitcase," said Total. "The nail file is in there too. Chop, chop: We only have an hour until the chat." Gazzy retrieved the manicure (or was it pedicure? What are dog paws called?) kit, and got to work on Total's nails. After he had finished the front two paws, he shoved the tools into Iggy's hands.

"Your turn," Gazzy said. Total's eyes widened.

"You're not going to let HIM do my nails, right!? He can't see what he's doing! He's going to kill me!" Total was panicking by now.

"Wow. You have so little faith in me," said Iggy. The blind pyro/chef then proceeded to snip and file Total's nails perfectly. Total's jaw dropped. "How'd I do?"

The dog twisted around to look at his back paws. "They look amazing!" he said. "How'd you do it?"

"Trade secret," Iggy replied, smirking. "Where's your bowtie?" Total- still awestruck- trotted over to his bag and pulled out a little black bowtie. He walked back over to Iggy, and dropped it in his lap. Iggy tied it around Total's neck. Gazzy held out a mirror for Total to inspect himself.

"I look good," Total said. "Really good. I look better than one of those dog show dogs. TAKE THAT PUREBREDS! THIS MUTT LOOKS BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU COMBINED! Thanks for helping me guys."

"No problem."

"I didn't think you'd say thanks… have you been abducted by aliens?"

"Don't push it Gazzy," said Total. "And Iggy: you just might actually have manners. I'm impressed. I am ready for the questions!"

…

When Ella and I finished our blizzards, we headed home. It was only a ten-minute walk, so we arrived home just before Total's chat was about to begin. Total strutted down the stairs like he was some kind of movie star. Iggy and Gazzy flanked him. When Gazzy spotted me he gave me a glare that said, 'Prepare to have all of your favorite things blown up'. I gave him a jaunty wave in reply.

"I am ready for my chat!" announced Total. He trotted over to the computer where Angel was sitting. Fang's blog was pulled up on the screen, and ready for the little mind reader to start typing. The chat starts… now.

Live chat with Total starts now!

Angel

TheDramaLlama: What are your views on cats?

Total: I find cats very irritating. They think they're SO much better than us dogs. They are smug little brats…

ILuvFang: Do you like Black Labs?

Total: I don't really have and opinion on them. I like them okay if they aren't show dogs. They're a lot bigger than me though.

Wishing4Wings: Do the other flock members treat you differently just because you're a dog?

Total: I suppose… there are certain allowances they have to make because of the fact that I am a dog, but they are very polite about it. Iggy and Gazzy make fun of me because they think I'm too 'dramatic' but the rest of the flock is very nice to me.

Flock101: Do you prefer to spend time with humans or other dogs?

Total: I love the flock like a family, and I love to spend time with them. I also love to spend time with Akila. However, I don't get along well with most normal humans and dogs. With normal humans I'm usually not allowed to talk, and I don't relate to other dogs all that well.

EagleEyes: What breed of dog are you?

Total: I'm a mix of several things; I'm not really sure what exact breed I am.

Jess: Wow Total, you seem to be really popular. What do you think about your newfound popularity?

Total: Nice to hear from you again Jess. I feel a lot like a movie star. It was a little overwhelming at first, but I think I'm adjusting to being a celebrity quite well. I'm trying not to get a big head about it.

Flock101: Are you an artist?

Total: Unfortunately, I am a dog, and cannot draw. I am, however, an artist of the tongue. I can speak art! At least I think I can. The rest of the flock disagrees.

TheDramaLlama: Do you often feel dramatic?

Total: I am a dramatic soul. I live and breathe for the dramatic arts.

EagleEyes: Do you prefer steak or ham?

Total: Steak. It is a much grander meat.

Wishing4Wings: Are you jealous of the flock's big, beautiful wings?

Total: What do you think my wings are? Ugly!? I'll have you know that my wings are stunning. STUNNING!

ILuvFang: Do you have a crush on any celebrities?

Total: Of course not! I am completely devoted to Akila. Although Dianna Agron is pretty…

ILuvFang: You watch Glee!?

Total: Ummmmm…

Jess: Do you have any tips on how to explain to your mother that you're chatting with a flying, talking DOG?

Total: While I pride myself on my creativity, I have no solution to your dilemma.

A crash rang through the room, interrupting Total's chat.

"Seriously!" shouted Total. "I can't get ONE HOUR AND A HALF without an Eraser attack!?" The rest of the flock went into auto-attack… well, until Jeb walked in with a freeze ray or something to stop us in our tracks. I hate him.

"Max, Max, Max," said Jeb. "Did I not teach you anything? NEVER give out information to an unknown source. I thought you knew better." I growled. "Did you not even think for a second that we would find you this way? I'm disappointed." He grinned. "Since you failed this little test, I'm afraid you need a little punishment. Erasers! I think these experiments need to suffer the repercussions of their stupidity. Attack." We were suddenly unfrozen. I looked around the room. There were a LOT of Erasers. This was gonna take a while… a long, bloody while…

The end! Or is it... I'm thinking of ending it here. If everyone REALLY wants another chapter, then I'll write one, but technically I finished the plot. I'm not opposed to writing another chapter though. What do you think? Review and tell me!