Hussie is the biggest troll in the history of paradox space.

I was hoping to have this entire story finished before Karkat's pre-scratch self showed up. I was so excited when I saw he had updated last night, and then I saw that Karkat was off already talking to the guy and I have to say I hate Hussie right now. To say I am waxing obsidian for the man would be a massive understatement. My hatred goes so far beyond the quadrant...

The reason I wanted this done was because I wanted to write, if not a sequel, at least a sort of follow-up fic showing interactions with pre-scratch Vantas. I think what I'm writing is going to lose a lot of impact because people will be comparing the Signless to him and I don't want to include both of them in this fic.

I already had the first chapter written and was going through my proofreading process when I decided to check the updates. As soon as I realized a meeting with deadvantas had the potential to be like in the next few days I wrote up the second chapter and I will be posting that today as well.

It's like 12th Perigree's Eve up in here with all of the chapters.

On a side note, my apologies to those wanting an update for Cry to the Moon. It seems I am now in a race with Hussie and I am not giving up so easily even though I don't stand a chance. The other story will get finished I promise!

Enough rambling. Time to read a story written in the style of bad fanfiction :D

I don't own Homestuck. If I would abuse my power in a Hussie-like manner, but instead of upsetting the fans I would troll Hussie.

Terezi and Jade rounded the corner, not faltering as they made the sharp turn. Jade let a few rounds loose from her rifle. The bullets embedded themselves in the wall as the intruder ducked into another corridor. The girls followed as quickly as they could into the long hallway. The man managed to stay a few steps ahead of them, at least, until Dave, John, Rose, and Kanaya appeared from a side-hall. The intruder hesitated, nearly skidding to a halt before he regained his momentum. He turned around yet another corner, the padding of his bare feet covered by the pounding of the teens' shoes.

The plan to corner the threat now failed, everyone continued the pursuit, watching the dirty brown hem of a tunic disappear into a room. They didn't slow their steps, but a wave of silent relief passed over them. The mystery visitor had hit a dead end.

They entered cautiously, slowly backing the stranger into the far corner. Eventually his back hit the wall. He didn't cower or beg, though. He stood tall and silent. In fact, Dave thought he seemed completely calm despite being cornered by two trolls and four humans, all armed and unafraid to strike.

Now that they had ceased the chase, everyone finally had the opportunity to look at the stranger. He wore only a long, brown, dirty tunic tied loosely at his waist with a frayed rope. At least his junk was covered, Strider thought gratefully; although he doubted it would matter considering the layer of dirt covering the man's body was so thick no one would be able to see it anyway. Hell, he was so dirty his skin color was hidden. He was covered with streaks of black and brown dirt, and everyone was rather grossed out when they realized there was something crusty as well. The crusty substance seemed to be focused mostly around his ankles and wrists. The six friends finally took note that there were cuffs encompassing the somewhat muscular extremities.

While everyone else advanced slightly, weapons at the ready, Dave hung back. He was trying to get a good look at the strangers face. The man had a hood, though, and between that and a shadow conveniently falling across the guy's head the Strider was having a hard time.

But that changed when the stranger turned his head ever so slightly. It didn't bring his face into the light, but Dave could tell they were making eye contact despite the fact neither could actually see the other's eyes. As they stared at one another, Dave felt an odd sensation run down his spine. He knew exactly what color the stranger's eyes would be.

But even more, he knew what color they should be.

Kanaya stepped forward, and while Dave was aware of the motion, he just couldn't stop staring. "I don't know what you wanted with Karkat," she began, revving her chainsaw, "But you won't have the opportunity to get near him again."

The perpetually angry troll had been bed ridden with some weird Alternian disease that Dave couldn't pronounce (though he was sure it roughly translated to the common flu). When Kanaya had gone to give him some medication a few hours prior, she had discovered the stranger hovering over the sleeping troll. The man had fled, and Kanaya had lost sight of him when she had checked to make sure Karkat was alright. Once she had confirmed Karkat's wellbeing, she warned the others they had spread out in teams of two. It seemed that there strategy had paid off, and now Kanaya was about to cut yet another person in half with her preferred weapon.

At least, she would have if Dave had not stepped forward and held a hand in front of her. "Hold on a sec," he said, his eyes still not leaving the stranger. The jade blood pulled her chainsaw back slightly, looking hesitant to comply.

"Something wrong?" Terezi asked.

For a moment, Dave wondered if she was joking, but then he realized, the man was covered in dirt. There was no way she would be able to smell his skin color, let alone his blood, even if it was dried and caking his hands and feet, it wasn't the same. She wouldn't be able to recognize his eyes either. But Dave knew, even if he couldn't see. There was just something instinctual, something that went deeper than the superficiality of sight. If asked to explain, he wouldn't have been able to; he could only state that he just knew.

There was silence while Dave and the man continued to have their little staring contest. It had nothing to do with trying to intimidate the other. Rather, it was a sort of subtle communication. There was no fear, and nothing to be feared. They were sizing each other up, learning what the other was all about. Dave got an impression of calm. But he could also see weariness, despite the fact that the stranger stood tall, even taller than Dave. What impression the man had of Strider… that remained to be seen.

"It's Vantas," he finally replied to the blind troll.

This had the opposite of the desired effect, as everyone else seemed to really start getting riled. Jade was the one to voice the group's opinions. "We know this guy tried to hurt him, so let's just take care of this," she said, gesturing with her rifle.

"No," Dave replied. "This guy is Vantas."

Everyone lowered their weapons slightly in their confusion. However, when the stranger took a step forward he once again became the target of subdued aggression. He lifted his hands in a placating gesture, finally breaking eye contact with the Strider. He then proceeded to remove his hood. When the last shadow disappeared from his face, there was a collective gasp. Grey skin mottled with dried blood and scars was stretched over a strong jaw and cheekbones. Candy-corn horns were nestled in hair that was even wilder than Karkat's when he rolled out of bed. But what really drew everyone's attention were his eyes; pure white, soulless, lacking the ruby red Dave knew belonged there.

"Actually," he began his voice deep and gentle, soothing despite the tension in the room, "I was often called the Signless."