Standard disclaimers: Witchblade and its' characters are not mine… Neither is Crocodile Hunter. No insult intended to Steve and Terri Irwin. No money made and all that.

Thanks for all reviews!

Tooth and Blade

By Kameka

Steve Irwin grinned at the camera before turning his attention back to the road. "G'day, mates! Today we're back in America, former home of my beautiful wife Terri." Terri waved from the front passenger seat as the camera turned to reveal a highway that proved one highway looked much like the rest world-wide.

"However, instead of going to Terri's home state of Oregon and visiting her gorgeous cats, we're heading to the northeastern state of New York." Steve gave another grin and thumbs up before pressing the accelerator to hurry on his way.

"I know that all of you watching are wondering what we're doing in one of the largest cities in America, New York City, so let me tell you! We're here to document and teach you about Homo sapiens segirezza, commonly known as the police. Where else would we go? New York City has one of the most diverse ecosystems in America and because of that, their police force must be equally diverse," Steve questioned/informed his audience as he parked and left the car. The camera zoomed in on a sign that read 'Precinct 11' before the cameraman hurried after Steve.

The officer manning the front desk glanced up from his computer as Steve and entourage approached. "Sorry, sir, but only civilian canines that help the disabled are allowed in public buildings."

Steve nodded and bent down to receive a kiss from his brindle dog, Sui. "Guess you gotta sit this part out, girl." He motioned for one of the people to take her back outside to the car.

"Do you have a crime to report?" The officer asked, taking out a blank form.

"You said civilian canines. Do you have many trained canines working along side the officers?"

"Well, we do have a canine unit, where an officer is paired with a canine, and the dogs that sniff out drugs and/or explosives."

"Wonderful!" Steve exclaimed and was about to go on when the officer cut him off.

"Do you have a crime to report?" he repeated.

"Do many people come here to report crimes?"

"Well," the officer sighed, "this is a police station, so yeah. But most just call them in and officers go down to the crime scene." He looked around, for the first time noticing the camera that was trained on him. "Uh, what's going on?"

"Well, Officer…" Steve paused, waiting for the officer to fill in the blank.

"Richards."

"Right, Officer Richards. G'day, mate," he greeted, shaking the confused looking officer's hand. "My name's Steve Irwin. We're here in New York filming a documentary about police officers. It's be shown on my show, Crocodile Hunter."

"Thought you looked familiar. My wife watches your show all the time on Animal Planet and Discovery Channel. She even got the kids hooked on that other show, what's the name... Croc Folder?"

"Croc Files," Steve corrected with a grin.

"Yeah, that's it. Drives me insane."

"You don't think the preservation of our wildlife is important?" Steve carefully kept his smile in place as he asked while Terri, who was off to the side of the cameraman and thus not in the line of view, frowned.

"Oh, sure I do," Richards waved a hand around to encompass his immediate surroundings. "But that doesn't mean I wanna listen to some bleeding heart liberal cry over the possible extinction of some animal that doesn't really serve much purpose. And I can do without some overgrown Boy Scout jumping around like he's on crack and having hallucinations. Even if it is funny watching him do stupid stuff like jumping into a river after a gator."

"Croc," Steve corrected, his smile showing strain as he grabbed Terri's arm. "Everyone's entitled to his or her own opinions," he reminded her.

"Bleeding heart liberal?" she hissed under her breath just loud enough for him to hear. "Overgrown Boy Scout?" she questioned in a slightly louder tone.

He patted her arm soothingly to calm her down. There were few things that could upset his wife, and the unknowing officer had stumbled upon two of the main ones.

"So, if you're not here to report a crime, why are you here," Richards asked before continuing. "Do you have permission to have that in here?" he asked as he cast a suspicious glance at the running camera.

"Of course we have permission, mate! We're here to film a document on the New York City police. Commissioner David Abbott Okayed filming and interviews in all precincts."

"Right," Richards nodded, still wary of letting the khaki clad man any further than his desk since it really wasn't worth his job. "Mind if I call and verify?"

"Not at all!" Steve grinned again and leaned against the desk, accepting his daughter from Terri. "We don't mind waiting, do we Bindi?"

Terri glanced over at Richards again, causing him to swallow and focus on the paper Steve had handed to him as he dialed the phone.

"Hi, Rhonda? This is Officer Richards over at Precinct 11. I have a guy with a film crew who says he has permission to be here? Oh, he does? You did? I didn't get anything. Okay, just checking." Richards hung up the phone and nodded at Steve. "You know how it is," he said by way of apology.

Steve nodded and passed Bindi Sue back to her mother. "No problem, mate."

Richards looked around his desk, wondering what he was supposed to do with the Australian and his friends. Rhonda had said something about a memo, but he couldn't for the life of him remember it. Finally he looked up at Steve and pasted a fairly obviously fake smile on. "So, where'd you start with the other precincts?"

"This is our first stop," Steve explained. "Commissioner Abbott told us to make sure we checked out the best team in New York, so we decided to come here first."

"Best team?"

"Yeah, Pezzini and Woo?" Steve looked over at Terri and gave a small shrug.

"Oh, yeah, they work here. Want me to get you an escort to take them to your office?"

"Please." Steve nodded and moved away from the desk, carefully keeping his smile in place as the camera followed him. Something told him that this was going to be one of the hardest episodes he'd ever done.

"Hey, McCartey," Richards called, flagging down a blonde who was walking through the area.

"Yeah?" He came up to the desk but continued looking at the file he was holding, bumping into Terri in his preoccupation. The impact made him look up and he lazily ran his eyes down Terri's slim body. "Hey," he greeted with what he hoped was a dazzling grin.

"Hi," she responded with veiled distaste as she moved closer to Steve and linked hands with him.

"McCartey, these people are here to interview Pezzini and Woo, take them up to Homicide with ya, will ya?"

"Sure, Richards. Hitting Candy's tonight?"

"I wish. It's 'quality family night.'" Richards' grimace showed exactly what he thought of that idea.

"Ouch. I'll drink a beer for ya."

"Thanks, McCartey," Richards nodded before turning back to his computer to continue what had been interrupted.

"So," Jake began as he led them through the precinct, "what type of documentaries do you do?"

"Ecological preservation, mainly," Terri replied, her hand still firmly holding onto Steve's.

Steve nodded and asked if Jake was interested in the subject.

"Not really. I'm more of a cartoon kind of guy. The closest I get to ecological preservation is watching reruns of Captain Planet," Jake replied as he rapped his knuckles on a closed office door and then opened it to reveal an empty office. "Guess they're in the morgue. Come on, it's this way."

Terri nodded warily and followed Jake and her husband, the film crew trailing after them.

"So, Officer McCartey," Steve began only to be interrupted by Jake.

"Detective, actually. But Jake is fine."

"Alright, Jake. Are you a native of New York?"

"Nah, born and raised in California and did some travelling before I settled down here."

Steve nodded absently as they reached a basically abandoned hallway.

"Yo, Vicki," Jake called as he opened the door, checking to make sure there weren't any gruesome bodies on the tables before motioning Steve in. "Seen Pez or Danny lately?"

"Earlier today, why?"

"They're wanted for interviews."

"Interviews?"

"Yeah."

Vicki Po came out of her office and nodded at the visitors. "What channel are you working for?"

"Crocodile Hunter shows on Animal Planet."

"Hey, they finally see the light and can tell that humans are really nothing more than animals? Great! Especially the ones that Pez and Danny catch," she grimaced in remembrance of the mutilated bodies and unusual deaths that her favorite team investigates on a regular basis.

"Why especially, Miss...?"

"Doctor, actually. Vicki Po," she introduced herself with a quick smile for the camera and a shake of first Steve's hand and then Terri's. "They tend to get the bad ones."

"Is there such a thing as a 'good' homicide?" questioned Terri.

"Well, not really, but not all of them have religious symbols carved into flesh or a crucifix lodged in a throat, modern day vampires, or any of the other weird stuff that they get," Vicki explained.

"I see," Terri responded, slightly pale at the vivid pictures Dr. Po's words had painted in her mind.

"Yep, you want the weird ones, go to them."

"I'll be sure to remember that," Terri responded with a smile as she left the room to go get a drink from the water fountain they passed in the hallway.

Jake's cell phone rang and he answered it while Vicki was still talking to Steve about some of the odd instances that had happened around Precinct 11. "Excuse me," he interrupted them, "but Danny just called. He and Pez are down at the docks. Vick, coming?"

"Oh, great! We'll get to see Homo sapiens segirezza in action!" Steve gave another thumbs up to the camera and followed Jake out of the morgue.

*

"Well isn't she a beauty!" Steve exclaimed as they arrived at the crime scene. The camera wasn't on the crime scene itself, but instead on a beautiful female officer who was talking to another one. Steve grimaced as Terri elbowed him on her way out of the car.

"Yo, Pez!" called Jake as he left the black and white that had brought him and Vicki Po there.

"Yeah, rookie?"

"Some people here want to interview you and Danny."

Sara shook her head and turned away from the rookie to concentrate on the crime scene.

"Sorry, she's just a little camera shy," Jake explained to Steve and the camera crew, causing Vicki and Danny to both crack up laughing.

"Pez, shy?" Vicki shook her head and pulled on her white gloves. "Dunno what you're on, Jake. Maybe you wiped out one too many times."

Steve moved closer to the Asian officer that he had seen the woman talking to. "Officer Woo?"

"Detective, actually," answered Danny as he looked up from what he was doing. "You know, you look really familiar."

"Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter," he introduced himself and shook Danny's hand.

"Oh, yeah. My niece Mija has a crush on you."

Steve's skin brightened a bit as he fought down a blush. He was used to people recognizing him, but strangers having crushes on him wasn't something he was comfortable with. "She's into conservation?"

Danny shrugged. "She's not gung-ho take-no-prisoners into it, but yeah, she's interested."

Steve's good-natured grin returned as he finally connected with someone who had at least a little bit of interest in his life's work.

"Pez? Pez!" Jake's voice drew their attention to the motionless female.

Danny shook his head and made his way over to her, grasping her lightly on the arm and squeezing. "Come on, Sara… I'm getting used to these blackouts, but I'd still like to know what they're about before you go into one you don't come out of." A few more moments passed before the woman blinked and shook her head.

"Sorry, guys," she offered sheepishly as Danny just shrugged and went back to work.

"So, Detective Woo, are you a New York native?"

Danny nodded absently as he knelt on the ground.

A few feet away from them, Jake could be seen animatedly talking to Sara Pezzini.

Steve turned to the camera and gestures over to the couple. "Observe that the transplanted western subspecies has artificially enhanced plumage, leading one to believe that he physical characteristics are fine within their own habitat but require an extra zing," he punched the air with one fist, "to attract a mate elsewhere."

Danny looked up at the talking Australian. "What show did you say you did again?"

"Crocodile Hunter."

Danny nodded to himself. "Thought so. Your show is on animals, right?"

"Yeah," was Terri's drawn-out questioning answer.

"And you want to interview Sara?"

"Yeah," Terri repeated.

Danny shook his head and went back to work. "This is gonna be a long day," he told himself.

The End

Notes: I thought this idea up the other night while I was talking to Blue Raven about Cops… it's not the same, but it works, I think!

Segirezza is Latin for 'security.' I found it on a free online translation website, so my apologies if it's wrong!