My Bridge of Silver Wings
A/N: This will be the only REALLY LONG A/N…
Well, I have started this new one. This is a sequel to The Window is a Mirror, where Castiel and Dean have been friends for many years and they declared their feeling for one another after Cas returned from his first few months of living away at school. If you hadn't read the other story, I hope I make this chapter with enough expository to catch you up, but this is an AU so you might like to read that first.
I was honestly so surprised by the response to this AU. I appreciate all the fans that followed and alerted because of it. I will post The Window is a Mirror on my Deviant Art page (Same as my pen name). You will find my other Destiel fic there as well if you are so inclined. The FFN policy about smut makes me worry that one or both will be torn down, so if it is missing at any point, you can find me there.
Kudos: Below is NOT an exhaustive list…
Thanks for the author alerts, story alerts and favs (maddie-babz1993, Meriadeth 'You know I love ya, babe!', Caspala, arghthecat, DeanW'sgirl92, rileygar25, TakeshiSempai, precious1075, SupernaturalSweetheart, Midnight Blue Angel 24, tara2217, halle mcready, MakingFanGirlsScream, hanna-chan1, OonaSama95, SculderPhile1013, MiracleWhipped, Acid Pink Lemonade, jst9m9n, SookieSai, Appleblom, Ceruleaneyes137, fluffybunny39 (for your interest in Trickster Correspondence), ap5148 (for your interest and review of Upon My Knees Do I Repent, as well), Drarry-DestielLover, jezabelnhell). In case you're lurking, thank you to April-Witch20 for your interest in Random Acts. It was one of my favorites to write! And to Potato Fairy, thanks for your review of Trickster Correspondence. I was unable to send a little note to you.
Juniperwing, Ceruleaneyes137, Ventorum , shellydiann, Meriadeth, RosesandThorns666, Anonymous, tara2217, arghthecat, and hanna-chan1 sent a lovely reviews. Thank you for your continued support! I love you guys. Precious1075 and lil joker 1989, thank you for your wonderful PM showing your support! I appreciate it!
And thanks to PixiePlays and GeekGirl for making my obsession so much fun!
Chapter One
"A bridge of silver wings stretches from the dead ashes of an unforgiving nightmare
to the jeweled vision of a life started anew."
― Aberjhani, The River of Winged Dreams
The seconds on the classroom clock were ticking by slowly, but Castiel glanced up every few moments to assure himself he still had time. His Statistics class had been the hardest of his Spring courses. He had studied so hard for this final but he found it difficult to remain on task. Every time his mind began to wander to plans he had made for "this time next week", he would spend minutes daydreaming again. His pencil scribbled through the next equation and he checked his answer before bubbling in on the Scantron sheet. His eyes scanned down the sheet to make sure he hadn't forgotten or mis-bubbled any. He checked through his test booklet to make sure he put the right answers on the sheet. He looked up again and saw he still had twenty minutes. He glanced around the room to see the heads of his classmates still bowed over their papers. He became nervous that he had finished so quickly. He re-checked his sheets but saw the answers remained as he had originally expected, so he rose and proceeded to the front of the room. His elderly Statistics professor greeted him with a smile and nodded as he placed his answer sheet and test booklet on the desk. He quietly let himself out of the room.
Joey found him in the Cafeteria, sitting at a table with his Stats book opened up. He looked over Cas' shoulder at the notes strewn in front of his friend.
"Didn't you have your final this morning for Stats?"
Cas nodded. "Yeah, but I finished so quickly… I just want to see if I missed something."
Joey nodded and chuckled as he sat next to him. "What other finals do you have?"
Cas glanced up at the question and looked at his friend with a smile. "PE, Psych and English."
"So all the fun classes," Joey said with a smirk to which Cas nodded with enthusiasm.
"I can't believe they let you take more than Full time course load." Joey said as he took a bite of the fries he had bought.
Cas began loading his Stats book and notes away into his bag. "Mike vouched for me."
"Of course. You're gonna wear yourself out, you keep doing that."
Cas looked at his friend. "It's summer next week. I have three months to recuperate."
Joey narrowed his eyes and his grin grew large. "I don't know how much rest you'll get with Dean around."
Cas blushed and his face took on a dreamy expression, his smile lopsided and his eyes distant and glassy. Joey laughed but said nothing. He knew he had lost Cas' attention for a while. He finished eating his food in silence. Cas twisted his ring around his finger and stared at the clasped hands over the crowned heart with loving attention. He thought about maybe buying one for Dean for Christmas.
"When is your man coming to get you?" Joey asked when he noticed Cas come out of his reverie.
"Uh, Monday… I still have to pack and he has to work this weekend." Cas reached over and snatched several fries from Joey's basket.
"Have you thought any more about the second language thing?" Joey asked.
Cas nodded as he tried to speak around the food in his mouth. "Mike says that Middle Eastern and Eastern European languages are really in high demand for government jobs… It might open doors for me that might otherwise have remained closed…"
Joey rolled his eyes. "When you're not telling me all about what Dean thinks or what Dean says, it's all about Mike." Joey pouted. "Just tell me that they get tired of hearing my name when you're with them…"
Cas' eyes glimmered with mischief. "Dean does."
This made Joey beam in delight. He pushed the near-empty basket of fries to Cas. "I have a final. Catch you later, okay?" He leaned over and kissed Cas on his temple and left the building.
.
The book in front of him might as well have been written in Klingon. Psychology was the only final Castiel worried about since he finished with Stats and the theorists and researchers he needed to know were all running together. He wasn't sure he would be able to remember.
"Turn the light off, Cas." Luke rolled over and shielded his eyes from the desk lamp. "It's nearly two in the morning and I gotta be up early."
"Sorry, Luke," he murmured to his roommate as he extinguished the light. He walked over in the dark and laid himself out on the twin bed. Before long, his eyes closed and he fell asleep.
His dreams were fragmented and twisted. They were a Burtonesque mixture of his anxieties about school and memories of the last six months. He explained to the judge that he had to leave because he had a final to take while Dean stood watching him from the gallery. Dean shook his head and the men who were on trial for assaulting them over Winter Break danced around Dean in black suit jackets over blue coveralls. Cas ran to the door and yanked it open to find the novice MMA class among rows and rows of bookcases. The students were using long staves to knock books off the shelves onto his head as he navigated through the maze. Some of the assailants lunged at him with knives while he ducked and rolled out of the way. Dean appeared in the doorway at the far side of the classroom. He pushed through the clawing hands to just miss Dean slipping into the next room through the wide double doors. The lecture hall was quiet, but every seat was filled with the faces of the men who beat them. They all turned their gaze onto Cas as he entered the hall. John Winchester stood at the podium at the front of the room with his hands on Dean's shoulders. They were smiling at each other.
"Tell him the good news." John told Dean.
Dean turned to face Cas and opened his mouth to speak. Cas strained to hear him, but no matter that he could see Dean's mouth moving, it was as though he was miming in a silent film. He asked Dean to speak up, to repeat what he said because he couldn't hear. Dean shook his head, his eyes that usually sparkled with love, grew dim and sad. He ran to the opposite side of the hall to a door marked with an 'EXIT' sign and Cas followed. He pushed it open to see his classmates standing from their seats and move to the front of the class. His professor, Ms. Reyes turned to him.
"I'm afraid you're too late, Mr. Collins. The test is over."
He stood in the middle of the room as the last of his classmates and his professor filed out. The lights that were bright upon his entering were dimming and the classroom darkened and morphed to a parking lot. There were shapes and sounds ahead and he moved toward them. Suddenly, huge halogen lights shone in his eyes, blinding him. He lifted his arm to shield himself from the bright light and he could feel the heat from the tow truck's engine on his skin. He could smell the exhaust from the diesel fuel burning. He began backing away, shaking his head. He felt his back bump into something warm and firm. He turned around to see…
Dean.
They were in his room at the apartment. Music was playing through the speakers of his out-of-date stereo. He lifted his hands to Cas' shoulder and they were both suddenly bare. Dean pulled Cas to him and he felt the toned flesh of Dean's chest against his own. He moaned in his contentment and arousal at the skin on skin contact. He wrapped his arms around Dean in a tight embrace. Cas could feel Dean's breath on his neck, smell the sugary fragrance of sweets baking, the scents of the garage lingering on his skin, and the musk of sex in the room. Dean pressed his mouth against Cas' neck and flicked his tongue across a small patch under his ear. Cas closed his eyes as he melted under Dean's ministrations. He was pulled to the side of the bed.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Dean asked. "Don't you have more work to do?"
Cas nodded and he sat down on the bed, maneuvering up to the headboard and pulled Dean along with him. Dean began to crawl up Cas' body, nipping and kissing as he moved. Cas threw his head back in delight at the touches of lips to his hot skin.
"Yes…" Cas whispered in his desperation.
Dean smirked against his stomach and his eyes were trained on Cas' contorted smile of ecstasy. Every time he went into Dean's bed, it was like he had found Nirvana. He loved the way the sheets felt against his back, how their bodies slid together, how Dean's mouth and lips lit his body on fire. He loved the way he noticed every scent and sound as they moved. He loved the wet of perspiration on their skin and the feel of completion when they both climaxed together. He was writhing on the bed, moaning Dean's name, waiting for him to take him.
"Oh, my God, Castiel! Shut the fuck up!" Luke's voice broke the dream and pulled him into wakefulness.
He felt something soft collide with the side of his head. He blinked the sleep away as the morning sunlight streamed through their window. He pulled the wadded up shirt from his face and looked over at his roommate, who in turn glowered angrily at him.
"Sorry, Luke." Castiel's contrite whisper responded.
Luke managed to soften his demeanor slightly as he rose from his bed. "Don't worry about it. Just a few more days and you can start keeping him awake instead of me."
Luke grabbed his bathroom kit and walked out the door. Cas looked down at himself as he pulled into a sitting position and groaned. Crap, he thought. I just cleaned these sheets, too. He got up and began stripping his bed and cleaning himself off. He knew Luke would take his time in the bathroom. He always did. He grabbed his own kit once his room was straightened out and headed to the communal bathroom for his shower.
Later that day, he finished his English final and headed for one of the smaller rooms where Martial Arts classes were held. He walked in to see both his instructor, Mike, and his business partner, Riley speaking to a well-dressed Filipino man in a business suit. It looked like the conversation was concluding as he entered since the nice looking man bid his farewell and let himself out. Castiel greeted them with a wave. He was called over to them when they saw him.
"Castiel, what are you doing this summer… what are your plans?" Mike launched in as soon as he was close enough.
Cas looked at him somewhat poleaxed. "I don't… why?"
Riley's amber eyes sparkled with glee. "We want to put together a new curriculum for next year and we have an amazing opportunity to have a Kali Chief teach some of our more promising students. We want to send you. You come back from the summer and we can give you an on-campus job as Assistant Instructor. We can only send three and it's close to your hometown."
This was an exciting opportunity. He hadn't made any hard plans for the summer and he could be learning while Dean worked. It could be so good. He was nodding in agreement even as the words that came from his mouth were careful and measured. "I'll think about it, okay?"
Both men took that as a 'yes' and launched into an animated discussion with him about their hopes for the exclusively Kali class in the Fall. Later, after his workout with some of the students in the Intermediate class cleared his mind, he had time to reflect on the offer. He wondered why the guys asked him instead of their advanced students. He also felt a stab of ice go through him as he recollected part of his dream from the night before where a room full of men with staves and knives tried to keep him from Dean. He shook his head. He didn't believe in portent dreams.
.
He was at dinner and he was reading for his Psych final. He was sure that he would do well, but he wanted to go over a few points before he left for class. It was bound to be a long night. His phone rang with Metallica riffs.
"Hello, Dean."
"Mmm. Do you know how much I miss you?" Dean spoke in a low welcoming voice.
Cas smiled into the phone and closed his eyes. "Where are you right now?"
"My room…" He could hear the curl of Dean's lips as he smiled around his words.
Cas lowered his voice and looked around him to be sure he wasn't overheard. "I had a dream about you."
"Oh, yeah?" Cas could hear the full-on grin.
"Mmm-hmm…"
"Was it a good dream?"
Cas stopped smiling for a moment but then remembered the rather messy conclusion to his dream. "Parts of it were… I accidentally woke up Luke… and I had to change my sheets."
Dean was laughing at the disclosure. "You're kidding?" He said. "That's so hot! What did Luke do?"
Cas smiled and blushed at his recollection. "He threw a shirt at me."
Dean laughed even harder at that. "I hope you used his shirt to clean up, the douche… What are you wearing?"
Now, Cas was laughing, but he played along. He looked down at his blue jeans and pale blue button up.
"Black boxer briefs and your AC/DC shirt."
Dean hummed his approval. Cas waited but his boyfriend didn't say anything more. Cas could hear the breathing on the other end signifying that Dean was still there.
"I've been thinking about you all day." Cas told him.
"Yeah, me, too. I have a surprise for you when you come home on Monday."
Cas grinned. "For me?"
"Mmm-hmm. All for you."
Cas held the phone tight in his hand and ducked his head. He could feel his cheeks beginning to hurt from grinning so wide. His breath was tight in his chest and he inhaled deeply. "I love you."
"Me, too. See you in a few days, huh?"
"Mmm-hmm."
They both lingered on the line; neither of them willing to disconnect. Cas waited and let his smile grow impossibly bigger. "Dean?"
"Hmm?"
"I have to go to a final in five minutes."
Dean chuckled and exhaled a long breath into the phone. "Better get dressed."
Cas stifled his own laugh. "Ah... I don't know… It's Psych class. We could have a little fun with the deep -rooted psychological needs that led me to arrive to class half naked…"
"Attention seeking…" Dean concluded.
"Maybe it's a cry for help…" Cas offered.
"Maybe it's a physical need more than a psychological need? Do you… need… something, Cas?" Dean purred into his ear.
Cas caught his breath. "Yes…" he exhaled.
"Mmmm."
Cas closed his eyes again and remembered details of his dream. His breathing became more rapid and his grip on his phone nearly painful. He also noticed a certain other part of his body becoming interested in the direction of the conversation.
"Dean…" Cas gasped.
"Yeah, babe?"
"I have to go…"
"So…" Dean responded after a long pause, "Go."
They held on the line.
"Good-bye…"
"Bye…"
Cas reluctantly pulled the phone from his ear and pressed the disconnect button. He sat staring at his phone and not moving, as if the connection between the two was held more strongly than by mere airwaves. Just as he was about to put it back in his bag, it vibrated.
From: Dean
Get dressed and go to class.
Cas laughed and packed himself up. Before he left the table, he shot off a text to Dean.
To: Dean
Love you. Talk to you 2morrow.
He smiled as he headed across campus to his class.
.
Early in the morning, Cas went for a run. He liked running before the sun rose. He had one last final and then he could start packing his stuff for home. He thought that maybe he could get in a swim that afternoon, but he'd have to check the schedule for when the pool wasn't being used for classes. He was listening to his iPod and enjoying the crisp morning air cooling his exercise-heated skin. He had plenty of time before his final, and he knew he needed to discuss the summer opportunity with Mike before he could give a solid answer. He also wanted to talk it over with Dean.
That thought brought his mind to how his thinking had changed since December. Here it was, only six months later, and he thought of his decisions in terms of how it would impact his life with Dean. Lord knew his friends were tired of hearing the man's name.
School was both harder and easier in the weeks following Winter Break. It had been easier in that Cas had a new sense of happiness that enabled him to plow through even the hardest lectures with some reserve energy. Castiel found that the sense of happiness at being with Dean could be refreshed with phone calls and weekend visits. Dean had arrived the first weekend back home in January with a tow truck instead of the Impala and returned on weekends he had off to fetch Cas home or spend time with him in the city.
Sometimes, Dean worked at the garage on the weekends and was unable to come get him. Cas didn't find those times inconvenient as he found staying on campus helped him finish his homework without the distraction of his boyfriend so near at hand. He still didn't have his truck back which made college life a little more difficult and he suspected Dean was deliberately stretching out the repairs to keep Cas from driving a potentially unsafe vehicle… of course, he also considered that Dean liked the excuse Cas wouldn't be able to skip coming home if Dean was his ride.
His relationship with friends became a little harder because he insisted on starting any conversation with "Dean says…" or "Dean thinks…" to which Joey tended to go cold with him. They were still close friends but Joey thought Cas was becoming too dependent on his boyfriend. This had caused a lot of trouble between the two friends.
Still, he was eager to be home. He missed his parents, his Aunt Kat and Uncle Oh, Henry. He missed Gabriel's sweets. He missed playing chess with Sam and long nights watching TV or making love to Dean. He had no idea how different his life would be once he declared his love for his best friend. He had no idea things could be so good.
He frowned, then. No, not all good. He remembered the week of recovery that Dean had to endure when they had been jumped outside the movie theater by a bigoted group of men because of their public displays of affection. He remembered the long month of healing. He had spoken at length with Joey and with his friends in the LGBT about that when he returned to school. Most of them had come out much sooner in their lives than Dean and Castiel, so they had already experienced many of the same attitudes the boys were now facing. Cas felt incredibly sheltered and naïve as he listened to the experiences of the others in his group. He even felt fortunate. It could have gone so much worse than it did.
He was rounding a corner into the main street away from the University campus. There were more cars driving to and from city destinations. Commuters on their way to work and others headed in or out of the College Center. He turned his mind to the men who assaulted them. He no longer felt anger or hatred for them. He didn't think he felt fear. But, his stomach still clenched into knots at the memory of the arraignment and trial. It was nothing like what he expected. He had envisioned the men brought shackled into the courtroom. He imagined twelve men and women passing judgment with a surly judge looking down his nose in his disdain of the whole business.
He needed to stop watching court dramas.
The reality couldn't have been further from his imagination. The trial for the attack on them didn't take very long at all. The arraignment took less than an hour, though he had to remain available at the court all day. The men didn't even show up in person but over a television screen on CCTV from the detention center where they were being held. The trial took two days despite their pleas of no contest because there were more than just the two caught at the hospital. No jury. Just a small cluttered courtroom with a judge, a clerk, the prosecutor, the public defender, the arresting officers, John and the boys. The men pled out and were ordered to anger management classes, tolerance training and community service. They were also ordered to pay reparations, but the lawyers confided that they may never see any of that money since the men had no property and worked construction under the table.
Cas continued to run along the busy thoroughfare. His mind was emptying of the disturbing images as he approached the wooded park where he went when he needed to be away from the campus. He loved living on campus. He was able to access the library at all hours without worrying about the drive home. He could literally roll out of bed and be to class within fifteen minutes. He ate at the cafeteria most days, but he was within walking distance from a grocery store if he felt like cooking. They had a communal kitchen where he could prepare food, should he choose to, and most of the activities in which he participated were on campus. The downfall to living on campus is you were always there. That was one of the reasons he wanted his truck returned. He needed to be able to leave when it just got too claustrophobic for him. He would bring his books here and study under a tree, well off the paved path. Sometimes, it felt like he was far away from civilization… away from people.
The path wound around a small man-made lake where ducks swam through the water, creating small ripples in their wake. He was coming close to a place where he would be able to drink from a fountain and take a rest should he choose. He noticed that, like most mornings when he would run here, he wasn't the only one on the path. Some were runners like him. Others had dogs on long leashes and some walked at a quick pace either singly or in pairs. He slowed down at the point he had earlier in the year determined was five miles from the school. He huffed to catch his breath and walked around in a wide circle.
So much had changed in a year. He had never been particularly social. Dean always brought that out of him. He had friends because Dean had friends. He loved their friends… he really did. Jo and Andy had become constant double-date companions since Dean and he made their relationship official. Adam was still stand-offish about them, but he discovered that Dean's brother was a fierce Ally behind the scenes. And, for the most part, those friends they had in school took the change in their relationship status in stride. There were others who acted as though they didn't sit with them at lunch every day in the high school's lunch room; didn't share secrets or abet schemes on weekends with them during those four years together. They either pretended not to recognize the two now-outcast men, ignoring them completely when they ran into familiar faces in town, or openly derided them, calling them names of which the mildest was liar. Lisa was still hurt and angry, stirring up ugly rumors and stories determined to injure Dean. Castiel never really had a strong emotional attachment to these people. He knew them because of Dean. He was always along because Dean wanted him there. He could have done without the hooliganisms of high school, but he went along because of Dean. It wasn't blame that Cas assigned when he thought of these things. He just didn't get all that hurt when the "friends" they used to know shunned him.
Cas inhaled deep cleansing breaths and took note of his heart rate. The only thing he regretted about the times he met old high school "friends" was the impact the exile had on Dean. He remembered the hurt in his eyes when it happened the first time they were out together. He saw the narrowing of Dean's eyes and the rigid strain in his shoulders. Dean shut down that part of himself that would have felt the pain. He gripped Cas' hand that much tighter as they continued to walk on the sidewalk after the unpleasant confrontation. He remembered how hard it was to see Dean clenching his jaw in an attempt to control his emotional responses. Cas smiled. He also remembered how he was able to console and reward Dean for his emotional vulnerability later that night when they were safely ensconced at the apartment.
As he began to stretch out his muscles, he realized how dependent he had been on Dean in high school. All his memories outside of his family were with Dean. He had no friends who weren't introduced through his boyfriend and that had been fine with him at the time. Over the course of the months since they had become a couple, though, all the friends outside of Jo and Andy were Cas'. Joey and Maddie had become frequent companions when Dean came for movie nights in the University town. When they spent time near the dorms instead of going home for the weekend, it was often in the company of friends Cas had made. Once or twice, Dean consented to bring Cas' friends home to stay the weekend, especially when Dean was planning on working any at the garage. Likewise, his friends would keep Dean company and entertained when Cas was occupied with things over the weekends when Dean stayed with him in the dorm. Even his roommate, Luke, liked Dean and would invite him to join him at the pub.
Cas shook his head as he approached the fountain and took a shallow drink to wet his mouth. He began walking the rest of the pathway around the lake. The sun was higher in the sky and there were more people moving about. He knew he had to start packing all his belongings. He had been assured by his friends that he would be too busy with them to focus on that after they were done with their finals. Truthfully, he was eager to return home. It filled him with a previously untouched giddiness at the idea of living with Dean.
He and Dean had talked with his parents and his brother, Gabriel, during Spring Break. They wanted to try living together during the summer. Charles, Cas' dad, was less than thrilled with Cas moving in with Dean. Gabriel, whose apartment it actually was, had no objections. His mother, Ana, wept. All in all, Cas found it easier than he anticipated. Gabriel allowed Cas to move a few boxes in the intervening months since that agreement, but adamantly refused to let him move anything major. A burst of laughter bubbled inside of him at the thought.
He began heading back to the school. He had one last final. He needed to call Dean and discuss the Kali classes over the summer with him. He wanted to speak to Mike before the class began. He knew he would pass this final as Mike had guaranteed to him that he already had enough time logged and skills qualified to pass without the final. But, Cas was particular about the way things should happen. This was the time for the final so the final he shall take.
.
"Hey, Babe!"
Dean's voice was chipper. Cas could almost imagine the gleam in his green eyes and the mischievous smile on his lips. Mmm. Dean's lips. "Hey."
"What's goin' on? How did finals go?"
"They went well. I have one this afternoon, but I have been told I needn't worry about it." Cas explained. "I really have something I need to discuss with you before I go, though."
"Uh-oh… What'd I do this time?"
Cas chuckled and rubbed a towel over his wet hair once more. "It's nothing like that… Um… Mike,.. you remember Mike?"
"The karate guy?"
Cas cringed. "Uh… okay… yeah, the 'karate' guy… well, he and his business partner want to send a few of their students to this… well… this really big expert in… err… 'karate'… actually, the form is called Kali and… well, he wants… that is… they want… to send me this summer."
Cas waited. He could hear Dean move around through the receiver of the phone, but he didn't say anything. He heard a change in the sound quality, the sounds of hydraulic tools became muted as though Dean left the garage to go somewhere quieter. When he heard a door click shut, he figured that Dean had gone to the office.
"What… um… when would you be coming home?" Dean's voice was small. The cheer Cas had heard before was gone.
"Oh! No!" Cas rushed to reassure Dean that he had misunderstood. "No, no, no… I mean… I would come home… I would just have to drive over to Eudora and take the class. I'm coming home on Monday, Dean… I just… I wanted to know what you thought before… you know… before I say 'yes' or 'no'…"
The sigh on the other end of the line sounded like relief. "What do you want to do? I mean, you don't need my permission to take a class, Cas."
Cas smiled. "I know… but, well… I want to spend as much time with you as possible. I also know… you have to work and I would be bored if I had to spend all day pining after you like a puppy."
"Pining, huh?" The smile was back and Cas grinned.
"Like a puppy!" Cas confirmed.
"Well, we can't have that…" Dean's voice went low and husky.
Cas stilled at the sound of it. He dropped heavily on his bed. "What are you doing?"
"Hmmm, nothin'."
"Nothing?" Cas asked though he didn't buy it.
"Unh-uh. Just… Nothin'…" There was a grin in his voice and Cas felt his heart hammer. "What are you doin'?"
Cas' voice hitched slightly but he turned when he heard the key in his door. He grimaced at the intrusion as Luke and his harem entered. He sighed and threw the towel in his hamper. "I gotta go."
"Luke just came in, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Cock blockin' son of a bitch." Dean swore, but Cas knew there was no real heat in it. Dean was at work and wasn't at leisure to do anything over the phone anyway. Cas heard a door open and shut and Bobby's voice chewing Dean out through the line.
"Go. I love you."
"Me, too, Babe. See you in a couple of days."
They both hung up and Cas went to class.
.
"Freedom!" Joey screamed at the top of his lungs from the open patio balcony of the on-campus pub. He received corroboration from the other patrons at the bar when they lifted their own glasses and voices to the sentiment.
The group of his friends and their significant others who were able to join sat at the four-person round tables that were mashed together to accommodate the large party. The waitress arrived as Joey sat down next to Castiel, bringing nachos and chicken wings.
"Grub!" Maddie leaned across the table over her boyfriend to snatch a wing.
"Hey! Get your own! These are mine and Cas'!" Joey complained.
Maddie held the wing up in triumph and stuck it in her mouth. Joey grumbled in good nature and took another draught from his pint.
"So, Cas…" William, a friend of his from last quarter when he took a Survey of Shakespeare class, turned his attention to him. "What does your boyfriend think about you taking Summer classes?"
Maddie looked at Cas. "You're taking classes this summer?"
Cas blushed at the scrutiny. "I'm taking some lessons in a martial art called Kali. But, it's close to home and I can do that while Dean is working."
Maddie considered that for a moment while her boyfriend debated the merits of the Royals' lineup this season with another man whose name Cas couldn't remember. "What are you going to do with all this martial arts training?"
Cas began to tell her about the job as an instruction assistant when the fall classes resumed and how he would be learning a whole new specialized form. Maddie nodded and listened politely but she still didn't look like she understood. "But, what will you do with it, Cas? I mean, it sounds great and fun and 'Yay, you!'… but, what are you going to use this knowledge for ultimately?"
Cas turned his face away from his friend. He had toyed with an idea a few months ago when Mike introduced him to a few friends outside of school. He went to the studio where Mike and Riley taught as part of their business away from the University. They got together with some old military friends once a month and Cas was invited. He had enjoyed talking with Mike and Riley outside of the school. He had been fascinated with the stories told to him by the men he met. They were all veterans, and three of them were stationed at the Army base at Fort Riley. After that meeting, he had been approached by recruiters on campus. He hadn't told his friends. He hadn't told anyone, not even Dean. He really wasn't sure he was interested in signing up. It was an option, though.
He turned to face Maddie again. She was waiting for an answer. "I just don't want to worry about getting attacked again."
It was the truth, as far as it went. He had been interested in this form of exercise even before he went home for Winter Break. He had planned to continue with it even before the attack. He knew that the answer would mollify her and she wouldn't question it further. Her gaze darkened but she let it go. They turned to less angst ridden topics. Kurt was taking Maddie to California to meet his folks. They were going to stay for a month. Joey was going home to visit his mom who was ill. William lived in Kansas City and would be working through the summer. Roger, the man who was speaking to Kurt earlier but whose name Cas had forgotten, was travelling to Europe. He and Cas ended up talking about the trip for the rest of the evening, comparing notes and sharing their favorite places to visit.
.
The morning greeted him with a sticky cotton-feel in his mouth and a slow pulsing pain in his head. He groaned and felt the room tilt. He was face down on his bed and he hadn't changed from his clothes when he returned from the pub. So glad I live on campus and didn't have to drive or rely on someone else to get home, he thought. He swiped his hand over his aching eyes and very slowly raised himself up on his elbows. He tried to peel his eyelids apart and look to his clock for the time. It was way too much effort and he opted to lie back down on his pillow.
The next time he rose, the sun had shifted and was warming his leg through its new location through the window…. Much later in the day, his groggy mind supplied. He opened his eye and glared at the clock which alerted him to the fact that he had slept most of the day away and he was no closer to being packed. His brain felt like it was trying to escape through his eye sockets and he pinched the bridge of his nose, hoping to discourage it. It didn't work. He rolled to his side and peered at Luke's side of the room. It was bare… completely empty. He tried to register what that meant for a moment and couldn't put the pieces together. Never again, he thought. I'll never drink again!
He managed to slide his legs over to the side of the bed and rise to a somewhat vertical position. He stared at the chest of drawers on the other side of the room. Something nagged his brain, but as it was staging a coup inside his melon, he decided to ignore that for now. He slowly rose from his seated position and wobbled to the door. He was half-way down the hall when it occurred to him that he forgot his kit, so he hobbled along back to his room to get it.
By the time he returned to his room, his mind was less foggy and his energy was somewhat revitalized. His mouth was minty and his head no longer wanted to run away from home because of the abuse he inflicted on it last night. His clothes were clean and he didn't feel the Earth spinning on its axis. All in all, he felt much more human and alert. He sat on his bed and peered at the empty bed and shelves that had, until last night, been occupied by Luke. The smell of his roommate and the girls he had as constant companions still lingered in the room. He wasn't sure he would ever have as cool a roommate as Luke had been. He worried about the next year. His mind jolted.
This was what he wasn't able to grasp when he woke. Luke wasn't coming back to this school. He had been accepted to an East Coast school where he would be finishing his degree and working toward his PhD in Psychology. He wouldn't have Luke as his roommate anymore. He would have to meet someone new in the Fall and that thought shook him. It wasn't that he was particularly attached to Luke, or Luke to him, but his roommate's easy acceptance that "yes, he was gay" and "no, he wasn't going to molest him in his sleep" was taken for granted. Luke knew Cas was gay before Cas was willing to accept it for himself. He had treated him no differently than he would have treated anyone else and Cas had appreciated the courtesy. He wasn't sure he would get that again.
He stared at the stripped bare mattress and let the conclusion settle over him. He hadn't said good-bye. He felt the tears prickle at his eyes and he frowned at himself. He wasn't sad that he didn't get to talk to Luke before he left or that he left and won't be returning. He was sad that it felt like a part of his life was coming to an end. He didn't particularly enjoy the feeling of being bereft of something he hadn't fully appreciated until it was done. But, then… he had a new beginning with Dean. He would have another new beginning in the Fall. He straightened his shoulders and decided to go and find something to eat before he could get started on packing.
Close to the setting of the sun signaling evening, he sat with Joey on the floor sorting through paper and books that he would be packing. Joey had found him in the Student Commons when he was scrounging food. The cafeteria would be closed tomorrow and most of the residents of the dorms were already gone. The voices of quarreling or laughing dorm-mates were hushed and the constant feeling of occupation the house had during the year was missing. The sense of abandonment had made Cas melancholy and introspective. Joey was trying to lighten his mood with jokes and anecdotes. Cas smiled at his friend, but it was no completely shaking Cas from his 'funk'.
"You should really sell some of these back to the bookstore tomorrow." Joey gestured to a growing pile of books.
Cas furrowed his brow as he scanned the titles of the books stacked up next to his friend. "I don't… I like them."
Joey rolled his eyes and turned his body so he faced him. "Cas, you're never going to take 'Introduction to English Literature' again. Why would you keep the textbook?"
Joey watched as the look of unease passed over Cas' features. He knew Cas was loathe to get rid of any books so he decided to take a new approach. "Look, the store sells used books to kids who can't afford new at a lower price… You wouldn't want some poor soul to go without a book because they didn't have enough books sold back, do you?"
He watched the conflict cover his face as Cas tried to make a decision. An idea came to him. "Besides, you probably won't have room in the apartment for ALL the books you want to keep. Why don't you prioritize them according to which ones you are likely to use for your major…"
He knew he had him at that little goad. The look of resolution and the dreamy expression that rolled over him told Joey he had lost Cas for a few minutes. He grinned as Cas piled the whole stack in the corner so he could sell them in the morning.
Sunday morning left Castiel completely alone in his building except for the Resident Assistant. He had hardly seen Karla all year since he and Luke were fairly well behaved. He had seen evidence of her attention when obscenities posted on the walls or doors outside some of the hallmates' rooms were taken down later in the day, or when she was bellowing at them to clean up their disgusting mess in study rooms. She held monthly hall meetings and did daily checks for safety and cleanliness. Today, she had taken down bulletin boards and was busy making sure everyone's rooms were clean upon check out. He managed to catch sight of her in the afternoon curled up in the common room on a couch reading a book. She seemed engrossed and he didn't want to disturb her so he tiptoed past.
He walked around the Residents' Village without a destination. He didn't feel like leaving the school but he was unable to shake the feeling of melancholy that he had been taken with on Saturday. All his friends were gone and he had to wait until the next morning for Dean. Dean told him that Bobby had given him the week off since he had worked so much overtime. Cas had asked him if he wouldn't have preferred the OT pay, but Dean had been adamant in his denial. He would rather have the time he had told him with unequivocal fervor. He hoped that his sadness was just because there was nothing left to do and the sudden transition from pressed in with people everywhere to ghost-town. He hoped it wouldn't last past seeing Dean drive up in the Impala in the morning.
"Hey, Babe…" Dean's voice murmured to him over the phone.
"Hello, Dean." Cas smiled. It was the first smile all day.
"Are you packed up?"
"All ready for you to come and get me. I even have clothes out for tomorrow and that's it!"
Dean chuckled. He was sort of panting like he was walking.
"What are you doing?" Cas asked him.
"Walking…"
"Walking?"
"Yup."
Cas leaned back on his bed. "Where?"
Just then, he heard a tapping at his window. He lifted up onto his knees and peered out into the dusk. There were green eyes smiling back at him.
"Here."