A/N: i know, what the hell? doing some random thing for BLEACH? WTF? XD
i blame the meds and listening to this song too damn much... i can't help it, they keep playing it on the radio T.T and its funny... and i can't find a good amv... -sniffles-
FOR THOSE THAT REMEMBER 'CLOSING TIME' STILL POSTED AS CHAPTER TWO OF 'HONEYFLUFF JUKEBOX' :D
Dis: show being mocked horrendeously owned by Titty K. song being used to mock show mercilessly owned by 'Katey Perry' :D
ENJOY!
Last Friday Night
Slowly the sun crept into the room, eliciting a chorus of groans.
Matsumoto managed to open one eyes and realized she was in somebody's bed…
… and looking down at the weight in her lap realized Hanataro was in bed with her…
"Ugh," the busty blonde groaned and threw the 7th seat off her, he only continued to drool as she tried to figure out what the hell happened last night… and there was that horrible pounding in her head…
Stumbling out of the bed, ignoring the naked Hanataro who was sleeping on a pillow now mumbling something about boobies, she realized why the sun bothered her so damn much. There was glitter all over the room.
Somehow shuffling to the sliding door to what she hoped was the back yard with her pounding head she threw the damn thing opened and the first thing she saw was Kuchiki's koi pond… with a pink kimono floating in it.
She just blinked, "What the hell?" taking a sniff she realized something smelled heavily of booze. Sniffing her wrist while her other hand was holding the door she realized it was her.
Deciding to leave the drooling 7th seat, and the glitter room in general, Matsumoto turned down the inner courtyard wall of what she assumed was Kuchiki's place. She got about five feet before she found another victim of last night… Mayuri was passed out in the yard?
Matsumoto had to take a moment to blink at that one, more because the mad scientist had what looked like head phones on, lacking his giant coat, and was also drooling…
She leaned in taking a good look at his oddly 'peaceful' face, "That's just… weird…" she quickly turned and kept going.
The buxom blonde wound up at the end of the outside hall, flung open what smelled like the kitchen and…!
Kuchiki Byakuya was on the grill? This early in the morning?
"By the look on your face you assume it's early," he pointed at a clock and it was well past 3 o' clock… in the afternoon… "Also, put some clothes on…"
The blonde blinked, looked down and realized she was indeed naked… which means she'd been naked in bed with Hanataro… and walking past Mayuri? That one oddly wasn't as freaky, but all the 10th squad lieutenant could do was stare at the 6th squad captain, "Der…"
"Oh before you go…" she hadn't even turned around as the opulent Kuchiki grilling lifted his delicate hair to show her some mark on his neck, "Is this a hickie or a bruise?"
Matsumoto officially fell to the floor in classic anime fashion.
SoiFong stumbled down the street, not sure how the hell she wound up on the roof of the 1st squad but with stealthy ninja skills managed to get down before anyone noticed… THAT would be a fiasco, not just the whole why she was there but the entire WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE WEARING! Was a bit of a factor too…
Unfortunately as she was walking down in the slums of Seireitei she passed what looked like a poster…
Containing incriminating pictures of her and a certain canine captain…
The Konoichi was one that poster like white on rice, ripping it off the wall and her left eye twitched… she didn't remember this picture… or doing THAT with Komamura… or even speaking to him… but considering the 'outfit' she was 'wearing' this must have been last night…
She quickly balled up the thing and set it on fire with Reitsu… that'll put an end to that!
Then she turned around and realized the pictures were posted EVERYWHERE!
"I'm screwed!" was the only thing coherent that came out of the Konoichi-Capatain's mouth. She looked around at the multitude of pictures, it would take HOURS to get rid of these… even with Shunpo… maybe she could just Bankai and blow up the city or soemthign before everyone saw them…
"Oh well," SoiFong sigh…
The Konoichi threw the ash ball over her shoulder turning around and walking down the street. Everything last night was a blacked out blur but something in the back of her mind told her it ruled. She looked over and saw one of the explicit pics with Komamura…
She snatched it and really examined the picture…
"Damn…"
Ikkaku woke up on top of a table at the local bar… Hisagi was next to him.
"Hey boys, glad to see you up," the bartender gave them both a lecherous grin, too bad Ikkaku was the only one there to notice.
The baldy rubbed his pounding head and tried to look threatening, "Da hell happen?"
The grin widened, "Well you boys cashed me quite a bite of money dancing on the table tops…"
"Eh!" Ikkaku finally looked down and realized he was only wearing his underwear… same with Hisagi… seriously the guy had a 69 tattooed on his ass?
"Oh yea, and it covered the bill for all those shots…" the bartender continued, pointing at a stack from floor to ceiling of shot glasses…
The bald 3rd seat gulped; for once he decided that was too much.
"Oh, and uh… you might want to keep your… uh, relationship secret," the older man gave a wink looking down at Hisagi and Ikakku could only stare, "Some people might get jealous…"
"Wha-!" the baldy jumped at the bartender in less than a second… only to fall flat as the pounding in his head made itself known again, "Ugh… da hell?"
"Er… well it was one helluva kiss," it was rather obvious the old man was pointing between the two downed male fighters.
Ikakku just buried his head under his arms, "I'm glad I forgot…"
Captain Hitsugaya woke up when something papery smacked him in the forehead. The young looking captain shot forward and grabbed whatever it was and tried to keep his eyes straight enough to read it, his head was killing him after all.
After the fourth time of realizing the tiny letters didn't want to sit straight he raised his head and stared at whoever it was that threw it, "Wazzit?" he really must have been hungover if he couldn't even articulate right.
There was a distinct growl, one that he should be familiar with, it was the woman that did everyone's accounting, "That's the bill for last night!" the angry lieutenant that wasn't his own glared at him as she raised her glasses up her nose.
"Nanao?" icey blue eyes blink several times, that was Nanao and not Matsumoto? Did he wake up in heaven?
The woman growled, "We completely maxed out the Gotei 13 budget thanks to that 'party' last night…"
"Party?" the mini-captain repeated dumbly.
"Yes, party! The one at the bar we all got kicked out of!" she coughed a moment before mumbling, "Well… most of us…"
Hitsugaya did something that was more reminiscent of his lieutenant then himself, he picked his ear with his pinky, "So what we do after that?"
The woman rolled her eyes, expecting a lot more refinement from this capatain who wasn't her own, "Well we," she pointed between herself, him, and something off to the side he couldn't quite see, "Hit the town," she bent one finger with her other, going into lecture mode, "Went streaking in the park…"
"Wha…?" left eye twitching on Hitsugaya, it couldn't possibly get worse.
"Went skinny dipping in Kuchiki's pond," she blinked moving her glasses as if completely unfazed, "Of course I think everyone did…"
Hitsugaya's jaw was on the floor.
"Then the three of us," again she did that triangle pointing thing and Hitsugaya realized there was a person underneath a pile of books… it looked like Oomeada… oh kami… "Came back to your place and… uh…"
Oomeada snored loudly.
Both uptight people sweat dropped heavily as a blush finally decided to assert itself on Nanao's face.
"What did we do?" the white haired boy-Captain shakily asked, realizing for the first time his office was a complete mess… Matsumoto would be proud.
Nanao mumbled something while looking away.
"Nanao…?" he asked again, eye twitching more.
The older looking woman sighed deeply, adjusting her glasses and staring at him boredly, "We had a ménage à trois…"
Icy eyes went wide and pupils became the size of a grain of sand… then the twitching started…
The older woman scratched the back of her head while poignantly looking away, "Yea I think we brok the law…"
Hitsugaya's hand met face, and he vowed to put a stop to Gotei 13 parties forever.
there were loud shouts as all the gathered Shinigami rabbled about what they were going to do. All of them had convene, conveniently at the bar it all started… or so they all thought, they were all trying to connect the dots.
Renji moaned as he held his head, "Oh my gawd what do I tell my boss?" he'd woken up in the forest, with a ball gag, a whip, some incriminating photos and other things he'd never want to mention again.
"Yea, well I think the city confiscated my eyebrows," Yumichika sniffled, rubbing his lacking-feathers-eyebrows, "Something about them being an ostentatious show of my orientation," he slammed his fists on the table surprisingly hard, "what does that even mean?"
"Pfft," Iba shrugged, "I woke up in the first division… and the chandelier was on the floor…" there was a group gasp, as he rubbed the back of his head, "Yea, I left before anyone noticed I was on top of it…"
Jaws were hanging open just staring at him…
"Oh dear that sounds terrible," all eyes turned to the motherly voice and found Unohana Retsu… in captain SoiFong's Onmitsukido commander outfit, "Yes?"
Everyone blinked, nope it was still there… and suddenly all the men realized why Unohana-Taicho wore her hair in front… help distract from those Matsumoto-comparable-assets.
Unohana noticed where all the eyes were and looked down, easily understanding why everyone was staring, "Yes, my clothes were apparently ripped and I found these nearby…" all said with that creepy smile of hers as if no one was looking at her sizable boobs nearly falling out of the not-much-clothing outfit.
Now there was twitching around the table as everyone forcibly looked away.
Thankfully Kira came running over holding out papers with lots of zeros on them, "Guys! Help!" he threw the things down on the table between everyone, completely missing Unohana, "There're warrents out for my arrest!"
The guys blinked, grabbing the papers and looking them over.
"What'd you do?" Iba asked looking one over that said something about 'public indecency', he snickered.
"I don't know!" the melodramatic man whined.
"I think I need a ginger ale," Renji groaned putting his head on the table.
Yumichika just rolled his eyes as everything seemed to escalate, "That is such an epic fail…"
Suddenly the bar doors slammed open… And Komamura Saijin walked in, heading straight for the table with everyone at it and threw down a bunch of fliers, "Who put these up everywhere!" his booming voice raised a bunch of heads as everyone was suddenly afraid of the very big, very scary dog-man.
Then he whined, sitting down like a dog holding on to the end of the table as if hiding, "if I can't get them all down before she notices I'm screwed!"
That had everyone's attention. In seconds everyone at the table had a poster in hand and the medical Captain in the wrong outfit was petting the whimpering dog-man trying to reassure him.
"Whoa…" one person said, just staring…
"Oh man…" another looked at the dog man, "you remember any of this?"
He quickly shook his head, "Its all a blacked out blur…"
There was a snort from Renji, "Well at least it ruled…"
There was silence.
"What?" he held up a the picture he was looking at, SoiFong in sexy lingerie and sitting on what appeared to be Komamura's chest, "She's freakin' hot!"
There were mumbles.
"He's right…"
"Yep…"
"Sexy and deadly…"
"Totally would hit that…"
"DAMN!"
Komamura hit his head on the table, realizing this was probably a worse idea then just running around ripping the things up…
"Unohana-Taichou!" there was sudden shrill screaming and soon a lavender blur quite a bit taller than the medical captain attached itself to her side, "Get them away from me!"
Unohana completely ignored the fact that her lieutenant was glomping her currently… or that the guys at the table were staring intently at her chest and probably waiting for one to fall out, "Now, now, what's the matter?"
"She was dancing on the tables last night wi' them idiots last night," a gruff voice answered, all turned to see Kenpachi with his hair down and eye patch missing. The thug-ogre of a captain just stared down at the women, "Girl had too many shots," again pointing at the pile Ikkaku and Hisagi had helped with.
"I see," the female captain said.
Kenpachi kept staring at her.
Unohana sensed the stare, more than the other lower than captain guys there and poor Komamura whimpering on the floor next to her. She turned to the semi-giant, "Is there something else, Kenpachi-Taichou?"
The large scarred man just stared at her flatly, "I think we kissed," he scratched his head as the entire bar hit their heads on the floor, "But I f'rgot…"
Unohana just gave that smile as if nothing was wrong.
Genryuusei looked at the bill for this week's Gotei 13 party…
The old man just sighed, they didn't have the budget for this.
54 members kicked out of the bar for being too routdy, 7 retained since their 'dancing' brought more revenue.
73 accounts of vandalism on the main town street, one particularly from 3rd squad Lieutenant Kira, Warrants pending.
106 known complaints of streaking from various members of the Gotei 13, including but not limited to ALL of the Captains and Lieutenants...
At least 3 complaints from Kuchiki's staff about sanitary conditions and the misuse of the Koi pond.
Kami only knew how many people woke up with who they never expected… certain fliers covering the town were brought to his attention in particular.
At least 386 rules broken from various offenders…
The old man just stared at the list thinking this really needed to stop.
Chojiro Sasakibe walked in, "Sir, about next Friday Night?"
Genryuusei just stared at his lieutenant.
Zi real lyrics :3
"Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.)"
There's a stranger in my bed,
There's a pounding in my head
Glitter all over the room
Pink flamingos in the pool
I smell like a minibar
DJ's passed out in the yard
Barbie's on the barbeque
This a hickie or a bruise
Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a blacked out blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled
Damn
Last Friday night
Yeah, we danced on tabletops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot
Last Friday night
Yeah, we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard
Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a ménage à trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Op-oh-oh
This Friday night
Do it all again
This Friday night
Do it all again
Trying to connect the dots
Don't know what to tell my boss
Think the city towed my car
Chandeliers on the floor
Ripped my favorite party dress
Warrant's out for my arrest
Think I need a ginger ale
That was such an epic fail
Pictures of last night
Ended up online
I'm screwed
Oh well
It's a blacked out blur
But I'm pretty sure it ruled
Damn
Last Friday night
Yeah, we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot
Last Friday night
Yeah, we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard
Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a ménage à trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Oh whoa oh
This Friday night
Do it all again
(Do it all again)
This Friday night
Do it all again
(Do it all again)
This Friday night
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
T.G.I.F.
Last Friday night
Yeah, we danced on table tops
And we took too many shots
Think we kissed but I forgot
Last Friday night
Yeah, we maxed our credit cards
And got kicked out of the bar
So we hit the boulevard
Last Friday night
We went streaking in the park
Skinny dipping in the dark
Then had a ménage à trois
Last Friday night
Yeah I think we broke the law
Always say we're gonna stop
Oh-whoa-oh
This Friday night
Do it all again
[Clapping] Whohoo!
A/N: repeating because it needs to be said... and i love shameless self-endorsement :D
FOR THOSE THAT REMEMBER 'CLOSING TIME' STILL POSTED AS CHAPTER TWO OF 'HONEYFLUFF JUKEBOX' :D
...
i don't really have anything to say to this insanity other then YAY! another excuse for Koma/Soi :D
Comments, questions, suggestions, opposing views~ (Review!)
Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!
-Ikasury