Crotched to Death by David Bowie

(This is based on a true story of actual events that really happened)

So there we were, just sitting in the middle of "The Labyrinth" and you know what?

"Bowie's got one hell of a crotch..."

Blink...

"What?"

"You could probably crotch someone to death with that thing..."

Blink...Blink...blinkblinkblink...

"Well you could..."

"No more crack..."

"I'm not on crack..."

"Suuuure you aren't...."

"I'm not..."

"Of course..."

"We believe you..."

"Crotch shot!"

"Get off it will you..."

"No serious..."

"Shut up..."

"Stop laughing!"

"I swear you could..."

SMACK

"Hey!"

And this is a movie we found in the "Family" section. I don't know what kind of family YOU came from, where strange men with revealing spandex leotards and riding crops are meant to entertain children but you know what... I want in!