In hindsight, there should never have been a first time.

Although I did my fair share of cases on campus - a girl's got to eat after all - I made a point of avoiding the law school. For a start, I didn't know many people there, which made getting information just by asking around difficult. And, since I was a student here, I preferred not to get information by misrepresenting myself. Too much chance of blowback.

Plus it was full of aspiring lawyers, who were just about knowledgable enough to know how to sue me, and unjaded enough to actually try.

A positively *winning* combination.

But the McShane agency was one of my best employers. Semi-regular work, not too badly paid and, best and rarest of all, a tendency not to give me jobs that left me feeling like I needed to take several showers afterwards. And Shaw, my contact at the agency, had been very insistent about this case.

The fact that he wanted me to handle it, rather than one of the in-house investigators, told me something. The fact that he reached for *his* wallet to persuade me rather confirmed it.

But, in the end, I took the case. It seemed fairly harmless - find out why one of the law students, Veronica Simons, had dropped out of contact. I owed Shaw, for pushing work my way. (And, though I didn't want to admit it, even to myself, the look of honest worry in his eyes may have clinched it.)

That didn't stop me taking his money, of course. As I said: a girl's got to eat. Not to mention pay for accomodation, course books and other such staples of student life.

So this was what I was doing here, outside one of the lecture halls, canvassing the exiting students with photo in hand. I'd already struck out asking around her accomodation, so I'd been reduced to hoping I'd strike it lucky by trying her classes.

"Hey," I said as I stopped one of the many people walking past the entrance. Unlike most of the others I'd approached, she actually stopped.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, I'm looking for Veronica," I showed her the picture I'd been provided with. "We were supposed to meet up a few days ago, but no one seems to know where she is, and I'm really worried." I gave her my best brave with a hint of quiver smile.

It seemed to work.

She pursed her lips. "I've seen her around, but I don't really know her. I can ask around, though."

I moderated the smile to become more grateful. "Thanks. I'd really appreciate it." I fished out my orange notebook, scribbled down my phone number and email address and tore out the page. "If you hear anything, can you let me know?"

"Sure," she said, and took the proffered piece of paper, heading off as I pounced on another likely looking candidate.

And that was that. I certainly didn't give her a second thought, especially when I managed to find out that Veronica apparently had a boyfriend that she'd been keeping quiet about. Not quiet enough, though. I started hunting him down.

So, even though there was a first time, given our different circles - and the fact that I should only have been a minor blip in her life - there should certainly have never been a second time.

Alicia always did like to prove me wrong.

XxxxxxX

Dear Ms. Parveen,
We regret to inform you that your brother, Vijay, has run away from his foster home. If you know anything about his whereabouts, or anything that could help us locate him...

XxxxxxX

The second time came a couple of months later. I wasn't on a job. I wasn't even studying, though I probably should have been. I had just gotten that email from the foster home, and I was left feeling... unsettled. Unsure.

I did my best, was doing what needed to be done, but... It wasn't enough.

Of course, it wasn't anything that brooding would help with, so I didn't want to be alone, let the silence seep into my skull. Peace and quiet had hardly been a feature of my life growing up.

But I didn't really feel like interacting with other people either, so I hadn't sought out any of my occasional lays.

I decided to go to one of the local bars (one which wasn't too picky about IDs), gaze into the distance and let the noise wash over me and carry all the troubling thoughts away.

It didn't start off too bad. Sure, I had to dissuade a few of the locals - politely; no sense in closing any doors for the future - but most of them, miraculously, seemed to have gotten my mood and left me alone.

"Hey," came a voice from in front of me. Focusing, I saw an unfamiliar brunette standing there by the bar, a cautious smile on her face.

"Hey," I returned neutrally.

"I was just wondering if you managed to catch up with your friend." I blinked. "Veronica?" she asked in response to my somewhat confused expression.

The name was familiar, but I couldn't place it immediately. "Oh, yes," I replied anyway. Odds were, that was true enough.

"I was just wondering, since I haven't seen her in class since."

Oh, *Veronica*, I finally remembered. "It got a little complicated." *That* was certainly true enough. And Veronica, if she returned to college at all, would likely find herself placed in some institution halfway across the country from Georgetown and her 'unsuitable' beau. Assuming she still wanted funding from daddy dearest. I returned the brunette woman's smile, making sure to add an edge of embarrassment. "I'm sure you understand."

From her expression, she didn't, but she smiled gamely anyway, and stuck out her hand. "I don't think I introduced myself before. I'm Alicia Cavanaugh."

I shook the proferred hand. "Kalinda Sharma," I replied automatically.

"There's a group of us in the corner, if you'd fancy some company," she offered, her smile still reserved but perhaps a little warmer than it had been.

"Sure," I said before really thinking it over.

Oh well, I could always beg off if I felt the need. And not having enough contacts in the law school was what had prompted the problem in the first place, so it couldn't hurt to start cultivating some.

And if that all felt suspiciously like rationalisation, then it was rationalisation that was distracting me from the mood that had sent me here in the first place.

It was a group of three guys and four girls huddled into a kiosk. Curious eyes were raised in my direction as I swayed behind Alicia, introductions made and greetings exchanged. Absolutely nothing I wasn't used to. To my utter lack of surprise, most of them were law students and the couple that weren't had significant other written all over them.

Where that left me, I wasn't exactly sure. I wasn't white or middle class enough to fit in with them.

Maybe I was Alicia's charity case. It wouldn't be the first time and it never lasted long. And at least it was better than being someone's touch of exotic flavour.

(Not that I wouldn't and hadn't used that tack if necessary, but...)

"Hey," I said to the guy next to me, who had introduced himself as Will.

He gave me a grin that I was sure was meant to be charming. It may have even succeeded a little, but I had no intention of letting him know that.

"So, what's your major?" he asked. "No, wait, don't tell me." He closed his eyes and concentrated, before opening one eye again. "Math?"

"Really?" That was just a little too stereotypical.

"Business?"

"I'll stop you when you're close." I considered. "Maybe."

Across the table Alicia, leaning into the shoulder of her boyfriend Dan, gave Will a tolerantly amused glance and mouthed 'Do you want me to distract him?' to me.

I shrugged and shook my head. I was more than capable of taking care of myself if need be.

Will mostly gave up after about ten more attempts anyway, only sporadically firing off another guess every now and again after that. The rest of the time he and some of the others around the table were more than happy to regale me with stories about themselves.

Most people are, given half a chance. It certainly makes my job a lot easier.

Still some of them, Will in particular, were actually halfway decent storytellers. And Alicia pretty much added a silent commentary of her own - a shared amused glance, a bitten lip, a shake of the head all added flavour to the tales and by the end of the evening I found myself in a somewhat better mood.

As we left the bar, Alicia gently touched me on a shoulder and said, "You never did say what your major was."

I gave her my best enigmatic smile. "No. I didn't."

She looked at me a moment, then laughed, shaking her head. "It was nice meeting you properly. We'll have to do it again, some time."

"Sure," I said, fairly sure that this was code for never seeing them again, bar happenstance.

"See you around," she called, as we headed off in different directions.

XxxxxxX

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a girl called Leela.

When she was young, her parents were bad, so she and her younger brother Vijay were raised by the System, which wasn't a person, or even a place, but a pattern. A series of places that weren't homes, and people who said they'd look after her, but mever cared.

Leela grew up to be a *very* angry girl.

XxxxxxX

And, really, that would have probably been that (no matter what Alicia later claimed) if a legal opinion wouldn't have proved useful on a case about a week or so after that, and Alicia's face happened to be the first one that popped to mind.

She might not have been a full lawyer yet, but she was in her last year and was the top of her class, wasn't she?

Whatever. I emailed her and asked if we could meet up again. A few hours later, I found a response in my inbox suggesting a coffee shop tomorrow afternoon. The opinion wasn't that urgent, and I didn't have any classes then so I replied in the affirmative.

I arrived a little early, and scouted out a good place where I could have my back to a wall and good access to the exit. Not that I was expecting trouble, but it just made me feel that much safer. It was a couple of minutes past the hour when Alicia walked quickly through the entrance to the coffee shop and approached my table, looking a little flustered and biting her lip gently.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry for being late. I got a little wrapped up in some research, and before I knew it..." she flicked one hand.

I allowed the trace of a smirk to cross my face. "Research, huh?"

"Yes!" she said, looking a little outraged. "What else... No! It wasn't anything like that!" she said, blushing a little.

"Of course not," I said blandly.

"You're... you're..." she took a breath, then looked at me, eyes narrowed. "You're teasing me, aren't you?"

"Never," I said, with a small smile.

"You *are* here asking *me* for a favour, aren't you?" she said archly.

"If you're still willing to give me one."

"I'm thinking about it. You," she said, pointing at me with one finger, "Are on my watch list."

"Could I get you a coffee to make up for it?" Not that I wouldn't be expensing it, but it was the thought that counted.

She smiled at me. "Sure."

I got her order, then outlined the problem, anonymising it as much as possible. She took me through it from the beginning, asking me things that I hadn't even considered, before giving me a summarised opinion.

Somehow from there, we moved onto other topics. She tried asking me a few things, but I managed to answer noncommitally enough and turn the questions back towards her. From there, we branched into matters of taste where I felt a little more comfortable (and caustic).

"Crap!" Alicia swore, looking out at a day that had seemingly inexplicably become night. "I have a report that I really need to hand in tomorrow that I wanted to do a final revision on."

I felt like echoing her sentiment. Between my course and my job, there would definitely have been better uses of my time.

"Look," she said, "If you want a more in-depth examination of your problem, I can write it up for you. But there's going to be a price."

"Okay," I said, mentally totting up how much I could ask the guy hiring me.

She ran a hand through her hair. "Dan's always telling me that I need to eat regularly, but I just don't have the time to cook at the moment and I don't have the money for takeout. Not to mention I have problems just remembering that I'm supposed to be hungry." She gave a slightly self conscious smile. "Deliver, say, five healthy meals, and make sure I eat them, and I'll email you a proper report."

I thought about whether I really needed it, I thought about bargaining her down, but in the end I went for another angle. "Your place have a kitchen I could use?"

She nodded.

"Deal." If nothing else, it would be good to make sure that I also had a healthy meal once in a while. She wasn't the only one with work issues.

She smiled. "Good. I'll try and get it written up for you as soon as I have a spare moment." She got up and took a few steps towards the door, before turning back towards me with a rueful look on her face. "Though it would probably help if you didn't speak to me too much. It seems entirely too easy to lose an hour or several otherwise."

I smiled back at her before I realised it. "I'll do my best."

XxxxxxX

It became a habit. About once a week, I went around to her place and cooked us both a dinner. Nothing fancy and usually involving a fair amount of cans, but a solid meal for both of us. And, though we did manage not to lose any more hours, the meal time provided me with a moment of calm, a place away from both my course and my job.

It always left me feeling obscurely guilty.

But a debt was a debt, and I had paid off ones with a far higher cost.

XxxxxxX

Hi Sis,
I'm sure that you'll be glad to know that I'm back in the tender mercies of Gladview. I'm just emailing you so you don't stress out even more. I can't believe that they haven't packed me off.

I don't suppose you've heard from Vidhya yet?...

XxxxxxX

"I'm sure that this must be more than your fifth time around here," came Alicia's voice from behind me as I was cooking pasta, in an amused tone. "People might start getting the wrong idea."

It couldn't be. I searched my memory. I'd made this deal... almost ten weeks ago? Even allowing for the occasional week I hadn't been able to make it...

My chest suddenly felt tight.

"Though, god knows, Dan could stand to learn a few lessons from you," she said a little bitterly.

She and Dan had been having their problems recently, I noted absently.

It couldn't be, I repeated to myself, and did the calculations aagin.

No mistake, I thought, and suddenly the scent of smoke was strong in my nostrils.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to distract you," she said, and I suddenly realised that the pot was boiling over.

Crap, I thought, but, luckily, the pasta was just a little soft. Not burnt, of course.

That would be far too simple.

I served a single dish and handed it to her.

"Can't you stay?" she asked, looking a little disappointed.

Her expression only tightened the bands on my chest.

I had to get out of here, now.

I forced a smile and shook my head. "Something's come up," I lied.

I managed to make it out of there without running, something that felt like a minor miracle.

I was in bad trouble, far worse than I thought.

I liked her. As a friend. I could have handled the other way, known how to act in the other way.

But a friend? Not an acquaintance, a contact, an employer, but a *friend*?

I didn't want one of those.

I didn't deserve one of those.

I rushed home, and avoided all contact with her for a week, until I could breathe again when thinking about her.

XxxxxxX

One turning point came when she went to yet another new place. There was already another girl in the room she'd been assigned, lounging on one of the beds.

The girl looked up and scowled. "Great. They're colour coding us now."

XxxxxxX

That wasn't the extent of her tampering in my life, of course.

I started getting regular invitations to go out with her and her friends.

Most of them I politely declined, but I attended enough to get the lay of the land.

Alicia and Dan always spent more time looking at everyone else than each other. Having problems, indeed.

Will's eyes had a tendency to trail Alicia, especially after a drink or two, and every time Dan noticed this, he made a point of touching Alicia, of marking his claim. It was the most couple-like I saw them, from his end anyway.

Whereas Alicia's gaze sometimes flicked quickly, guiltily towards Will when she thought no one was looking.

Me? I was always watching. It was what I did best.

XxxxxxX

Hey Sis,
I've got to say, you've changed since you went up to D.C. I half expected your email to make my eyes bleed, but it was just lots of words about how concerned you were?

You've gotten soft.

Not that I really expect it, but if you can make it down for Thanksgiving...

XxxxxxX

After a few weeks of observing this dance, I cornerned Will when he went to the bar to get the next round.

"You like her," I said without preamble.

He blustered a little. "Who?"

I tilted my head a little, and looked at him.

He deflated somewhat, and smiled crookedly at me. "That obvious, huh?"

I held my thumb and forefinger a little apart.

"Well, it's not like everyone else in our circle doesn't already know. Alicia and Will, the greatest love story never told," he said a little bitterly.

"Oh?"

"Whenever she's out of a relationship, I'm in one. And vice versa."

"Why not make a play for her now?" It's not like her relationship with Dan was making her happy. And maybe this would.

I shouldn't care, but I'd already crossed the Rubicon on that matter.

"I couldn't do that to her. She'd never forgive herself."

I gave him a quizzical look, tilting my head slightly.

"She's managed to find some real jerks in her time. In particular she has a history of being cheated on. She's very sensitive on the subject. If she was the one to break it off with Dan, especially to go out with someone else..." He shrugged, then gave me a half smile. "If nothing else, I'd like a proper chance at a relationship with her, and a guilty Alicia would poison that quicker than anything else I know."

"So, you're just going to wait?"

"I'm not quite that much of a martyr. Life carries on, regardless." He gave me an appraising look. "Would I have any chance with you?"

I gave him a slight, sultry smile. "Maybe," I said, leaning in close to him. "Some other time." I leaned in closer still. "But not yet," I breathed against his ear, then moved back.

His smile was unrepentant. "So I'm in with a chance then."

"There's always a chance." But I didn't know the dynamics of this group anywhere near well enough yet, and I wasn't willing to risk upending it. Especially for a liason I could get elsewhere. "The drinks, then?"

When we returned to the table, Alicia's eyes flickered over me as well, before moving on again.

XxxxxxX

Despite this inauspicious beginning, the girl (whose name was Vidhya) and Leela became the best of friends. A little too good friends, if you asked the people who looked after them. Both girls were trouble makers, and the two of them together were worse.

They kept on being seperated, but managed to keep on finding each other, keeping in touch over the miles. And they shared everything, from all their secrets to Vijay.

Until Miss Bowen entered the picture.

XxxxxxX

I was actually on a case a few months later when the call came. Good old fashioned detective work, lurking in my rust bucket of a car, camera in hand, waiting for just the right moment to make the shot. Part luck, but mostly having enough patience to endure the dull monotony.

My phone vibrated and I fished it out. It was Alicia. I fumbled in the glove compartment for the spare handsfree set (easier than rooting around in my handbag, and it meant I didn't have to take my eyes off the building my target was in) and plugged it in.

"Hey," I said.

"Kalinda?"

"Yes."

"Can I come over?" Her voice was rough and uneven, and it took me a moment to realise that she was crying.

This. This was why I didn't have friends. I had a job, and it needed to be done tonight.

But...

"Can you give me half an hour?" I had a few crazy ideas about how I could wrap this up quickly. And I really hoped they worked, otherwise all my work to date would likely have been wasted.

"Mmmhmm," followed by a fresh jag of crying.

"Look," I said, a little awkwardly. "Are you at home?"

"Yes."

"Shall I come around instead then?" If she didn't fancy being at home, I could always take her out somewhere.

I just didn't like the idea of her wandering around outside in tears.

"That'd be great, thanks."

"Do you want me to pick anything up?" I seemed to remember that icecream kept on popping up in pop culture as traditional.

Not that I had ever used that.

Not that I'd really ever had the opportunity to use it when growing up.

But it seemed the thing to do.

"That's alright," she said. "I just... I just someone to talk to."

And for some reason, she had chosen me. Because I was clearly the most comforting person she knew.

Now *there* was a troubling thought. How low did you have to go?

"I'll be there as soon as I can," I said and rang off.

I closed my eyes for a second, and concentrated on thinking like a private courier. Then I opened them and got out of the car.

Time to throw the dice.

I buzzed her place.

After a few moments, "Kalinda?" came from the intercom.

"Or a good impersonator."

The lock clicked open, and I entered the building.

When I got to the door of her apartment, the door was cracked slightly.

"Hey," I said softly.

The door opened to reveal a red-eyed Alicia.

"Thanks for coming over."

"Don't mention it." Really.

She ushered me into her living room. I moved to take a chair, but she just looked at me and indicated the sofa next to her questioningly.

I just looked at the empty space for a moment. There was absolutely no way that I'd sit there for anyone else. (There was no way I'd even be here for anyone else.)

But for her...

I gave an internal sigh, and sat down gingerly next to her.

Alicia leaned into me.

Great. Just great.

I somehow managed to avoid flinching, but couldn't bring myself to do something like rest my arm across her shoulders.

I had my limits, even for a friend.

"He dumped me."

That had been my favourite theory.

"Dan, I mean."

I certainly hoped so, unless I had missed an awful lot in the last few days.

She looked almost angrily up at me. "He didn't even do it in person. Just sent an email."

How... thoughtful of him.

She looked down again. "He even took the time to list the reasons why it wasn't working out for him. Apparently I wasn't committed enough to the relationship, and there were too many other people in it."

That might explain why he had waited until Will had started another relationship before doing this.

Really, Dan had just been too thoughtful.

Though if Will had been free, he'd probably have been here instead of me.

I was surprisingly ambivalent about that.

t was almost nice that someone, Alicia, trusted me enough to confide in me like this.

Though it probably didn't hurt that I was one of few members of the circle who wasn't also one of Dan's friends.

But Alicia was looking up at me. "Do you think that this was all my fault? That I was a bad girlfriend?"

"No," seemed to be the answer required. I considered for a moment. "This is all his fault." Not quite accurate, in my opinion, but from the look on Alicia's face, it seemed to be the correct response. "Definitely his fault."

"Thanks."

"Though I don't know why you hadn't dumped him before now," I was compelled to add.

Maybe not the most tactful comment, but honest.

She looked down and, for a moment, I thought she was going to start crying again. "I was trying to make it work," she said quietly.

And this, this kind of self delusion was why I didn't do relationships.

"You're too good for him," I told her, That was certainly true enough.

"Thanks," she said. "Do you mind if we talk about something else for now?"

"Sure."

She looked up at me from my shoulder. "So, what were doing before I interrupted you?"

"Another case for Kalinda Sharma, P.I."

"Of which you're naturally going to tell me nothing," she said, smiling a little.

I shrugged the shoulder she wasn't balanced on. "It's for your own good. You should know that."

"It will make it harder to defend you in the inevitable trial."

"I'll try to make sure that I'm never caught."

As she smiled and relaxed still further against me, I thought that there were far worse places to be.

And I'd even managed to get the evidence I needed without waiting with camera poised for a few hours.

Win-win.