Dedicated to Chronos.

Happy Monthsary to you and Blue Rose~
Long live the Blue Rose Shipping!

—karakuri pierrot—

【からくりピエロ】

It's so easy, and yet so difficult,
for I can move on as soon as I accept reality.
Unable to believe it, not wanting to believe it,
I must be a clown inside your mind, aren't I?

They were twelve when she first met him.

She had been walking down the hallway quickly, her long blue hair swishing back and forth as she hurried to her first class.

Clutching her textbooks to her chest, she blinked.

And in that single blink, she didn't notice that she had just bumped into someone.

Their books and papers went flying, and she braced herself for the fall when she felt a pair of arms holding her, lifting her up.

A bright pink appeared on her cheeks as she stumbled back, a squeaky "Sorry!" coming out of her mouth, and dropped to the floor to pick up their things.

She picked up a book just as a hand grabbed it, placing it on top of hers. She looked up to see chocolate-colored eyes staring back at her brightly, and she couldn't help but gaze into them.

The girl hastily pushed the book towards him and scurried to pick up their other things. She held onto her own books in one hand and held the stack of notebooks and papers in the other. They both stood up abruptly, and she blinked as got a clear look at the person in front of her.

He was much taller than her, a lean but strong frame holding him up, with wavy light brown hair.

Realizing she was staring, she quickly looked down and handed the boy his things.

"Sorry," she muttered again, looking up.

The boy smiled at her, a bright wide smile. The girl felt her heart thumping loudly against her chest, and she managed to smile back at him.

"It's alright."

Suddenly a loud voice yelling, "Get to your classes! Now!" echoed through the hallway. The hall monitor was stomping through the halls, warning everyone to get to class.

With a glance at his watch, the brown haired boy smiled apologetically at the girl and said, "We should get to class now."

The girl nodded, and the two ran off in separate directions. As the girl ran, she heard a voice from far behind her calling, "See you around!"

Later, as the blue-haired girl drifted in her thoughts during class, she just couldn't get the boy out of her mind.

Perhaps she had fallen for him.

When they were thirteen, the two were put in the same homeroom, and finally learned each other's names.

They soon became friends, lunch table buddies, group partners.

And the blue haired girl found herself falling for him more and more each day.

The two were always accused of liking each other by their friends. The two denied it every time, but the girl couldn't help but feel wistful at the thought that he most likely didn't like her back.

Maybe not even 'most likely'.

More like 'not at all'.

One day their friends were teasing her as usual, and one asked her, "What do you like best about him?"

The girl rolled her eyes mockingly, and looked in the boy's direction. He gave her a joking smile and she casually replied, "Nothing."

Everything.

His piercing eyes, his bright smile, even his geeky jokes. She liked all of it.

She thought of him first thing in the morning when she woke up, she loved seeing him throughout the day at school, she missed him once school was dismissed, she fell asleep thinking of him, and he haunted her dreams at night.

She didn't know why she liked him so much. She just did.

Years passed. The two entered into high school, grew taller and more mature, and the girl just couldn't keep her eyes off of him.

She grew jealous as she noticed that other girls couldn't keep their eyes off of him either. They came to him like wild animals, attempting to flirt with him and ask him out.

And every time he'd reject them, in his quiet and polite way.

And every time it gave the blue-haired girl hope.

But it wasn't only him who was asked out frequently.

The girl noticed that boys would confess to her suddenly. She usually had no idea who they were, and it shocked her that there would actually be people who actually liked her.

One afternoon during lunch she was sitting at her usual lunch table, at her usual spot right across from the brown haired boy. The two were talking cheerfully with their friends about the newest store at the local mall and were making plans to hang out there later, when a boy with dark blue hair walked behind the girl.

Surprised, the girl turned around and faced him. She knew him; he was two years senior to her, and one of the well-known students of the school, due to his signature blue scarf and honest personality.

"Hey," he greeted the girl. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me?"

It was a simple phrase, but she was left absolutely bewildered.

The girl gaped at him. One of her friends, a small girl with short blonde hair, nudged her elbow. She gave her a look that read, 'He's asking you out! Say something!'

The blue haired girl took a quick glance at the brown haired boy, who was staring at the dark blue haired boy with an unreadable expression.

"Um...no?"

That was the first time someone tried to ask her out. But just like the brown haired boy she liked, the girl would reject the person, quietly and politely.

Often times she felt her blood boil whenever a girl tried to flirt with the boy. Jealousy, she knew.

Was he ever jealous when someone tried to ask her out?

She often wondered if he ever felt the same way about her.

She'd spent nights tossing and turning about it, her head spinning, and spinning, as she thought about him.

Maybe he did, maybe he didn't.

She had a 50% chance.

Right?

It happened when they were sixteen.

A month before their first school dance, she was wandering the hallways, looking for him. It was after school, and they were supposed to go to the library together to study for an upcoming exam.

As she walked on, she saw light and voices coming out of a nearby classroom in front of her. The girl walked closer to the classroom and heard the boy's voice, talking with one of his friends.

With a cheerful smile, she skipped happily to the room, and was about to place her hand on the doorknob when she heard her name.

She stiffened and leaned her ear on the door. Were they talking about her?

"...oh, so you rejected all those girls to take her to the dance?"

Her? Was his friend saying the boy was going to ask her to the dance?

"We're like best friends, dude. And I hardly know those other girls who kept pestering me, and-"

"Do you like her?"

The girl froze in her place. What was she doing anyway, eavesdropping on them? She had no right to.

But still...she was dying to hear his answer.

"Of course I like her."

The girl's eyes widened.

"I mean, of course I like her...she's my best friend. I don't dislike her."

The girl could feel her head throbbing. She forced a silent laugh. Even in this moment of seriousness, the boy still managed to be dense.

She could hear his friend slap his forehead in disbelief, sighing dramatically.

"Not that kind of like. As in, like. Romantically. Infatuation. A crush perhaps."

There was a moment of silence, and the only thing the girl could hear was her breathing. She breathed in, she breathed out, but she felt her breath stop when she heard the boy say,

"I don't have a crush on her."

The girl ran.

Two weeks later he asked her to go to the dance with him.

It wasn't too romantic, really.

It started with sticky notes.

One morning the girl opened her locker to find a bright yellow sticky note sitting on top one of her books. She picked it up curiously, only to find there was one word written on it: Will.

She hadn't forgotten that fateful day two weeks earlier, where she heard the brown haired boy flat out reject her. In fact, she had cried herself to sleep every night since then.

What she had forgotten was the fact that he was going to ask her to the dance.

The next morning the blue haired girl found another sticky note, with an odd phrase: UGOTO.

She was baffled. What in the world was "Ugoto"? "U got o"? "Ug oto"?

The words didn't become clear until the next day, when she opened her locker expectedly and found another note: The Dance.

Putting the sticky notes together, she realized it said: Will you go to the dance. "With me" was the next sticky note, she was sure of it.

She certainly thought it was an interesting way to ask someone. The past few days she saw the usual ways that guys were asking their girlfriends to the dance: giving them flowers, holding up signs, publicly asking them during breaks.

A rush of excitement passed through her. No one had ever asked her to a dance before. She didn't bother to wonder just who would ask.

The girl with blue hair practically ran to her locker the next day, expecting another sticky note with the words "with me" written on it and possibly a flower or two.

She couldn't hide her disappointment when she found her locker empty of sticky notes, flowers, and anything potentially related to asking-out-to-a-dance materials.

Sighing, she slammed her locker shut when a figure appeared behind her.

She spun around quickly to see the boy with brown hair grinning at her, holding a doll with a sticky note attached to it saying: With me.

"Will you go to the dance with me?"

The girl looked into his eyes and saw them twinkling back at her happily, and she broke into a smile. "Yes!"

He handed her the doll and she held it up. "It's really cute," she cooed. "Is this for me?"

The boy nodded. "I, uh, saw it at a store some time ago," he said, his hand behind his head nervously. "It reminded me of you, so I got it."

It had blue hair tied up into two pigtails, a blue dress with ribbons on it, and red stockings.

It was cute. And it looked like her.

"Oh yeah, this also came with it..." The boy held out a clown mask. "But it made it look kind of creepy, haha. I guess it's like a cute version of a pierrot."

The girl took it and held it along with the doll close to her chest. "It's a cute pierrot. I love it. Thank you for asking me to the dance." She smiled.

"Of course," he grinned back. "We're best friends. I couldn't go to my first dance without you."

Friends.

Everything that happened that day came rushing back to her, and her smile dropped.

Of course, how could she have forgotten? He asked her to the dance just as friends. Because they were friends.

And nothing more.

Absolutely nothing.

The dance went well. The boy was a true gentlemen, getting her drinks and food when she needed a quick snack, taking breaks from dancing when she was tired, told her jokes when she was losing her smile.

In all honesty, she enjoyed it.

But then she'd look at him with her big eyes and he'd smile at her, and she'd suddenly remember that they're only here as friends.

And then her mood would drop.

One minute she was happy and excited, being in his arms during a dance.

The next she would be sad, disappointed, upset, angry.

As friends? Really?

He had so many girls chasing after him, she had so many guys chasing after her. They could've just gone with someone else, someone who would treat them as an actual date, someone who they could slow dance with and maybe even share a kiss secretly outside the school.

But they go as friends, best friends, just two people who are there because they're so close but are not together.

What the heck did he take her as?

Was she someone who he could just go around with whenever he wanted? Sure she was his best friend, but as friends?

Suddenly she remembered something.

"We're like best friends, dude. And I hardly know those other girls who kept pestering me, and-"

The girl with blue hair frowned. Was that how it is? He asked her because he didn't want to go with one of those fangirls?

Her jaw dropped. It all made sense now.

In a sense, he was practically...practically...using her!

He didn't want to go alone, and he definitely didn't want to go with his crazy fangirls, so he asked her to go to the dance so the fangirls would stop asking him and he would have an excuse to go with someone.

She bit her lip and felt her eyes water. But he didn't seem like that kind of person...

But the evidence was right there!

Wiping her eyes carefully she stood up and finished the last of her water. The current song faded away and switched to a slow song.

As she put her cup down, the boy with brown hair came toward her, a hand outstretched.

"It's the last dance of the night. Dance with me?" he offered her a soft smile.

Her heart beat fast and she felt she couldn't breathe. The two had danced to many of the party songs, but they hadn't danced a slow song yet.

As she looked into his eyes, she wondered. Was he using her? Or was she wrong this whole time?

She grabbed his hand and he led her to the dance floor.

The song was slow and sweet. The boy put his hands around her waist as she put her arms around his neck. She could feel her face blushing hard and hoped he couldn't see it because of the few lights.

The two swayed to the music and as they reached the middle of the song, he carefully pulled her closer to him.

She squeaked silently as her head rested on his shoulder. She could feel his warm breath and her heart pumping faster.

"Is this a dream?"

As she closed her eyes and relaxed, all thoughts of his "manipulation" flew away. There was only one thing on her mind that night.

And the evidence was right there.

And even if they were just best friends, and if he was just using her, it didn't matter.

She could tell.

She was in love with him.

Months passed.

Every day she fell more and more in love with him.

She cherished every moment she had with him.

Every time he smiled at her, she felt like she was breaking.

Some days her love would make her feel like every day was a dream, a happy never ending dream where it was just the two of them.

The girl could only see him. He was the only one in her eyes.

Her breath would stop at the very sight of him.

Often times she'd ask herself, was she going crazy?

But there would be times when she'd just sit back and watch him, and wonder, does he like her? The same way that she likes him?

Does he love her? The same way that she loves him?

Some days she would cry herself to sleep wondering. She tried to think, she looked for any signs, but sometimes she'd wonder if she was just fooling herself.

He treats her like she's so special. But was that just because they were best friends? And nothing more?

"The things he does...is it because I'm special? Is it because we're best friends? Or is he...manipulating me?"

The girl couldn't stop wondering.

Her love for him was too much. She felt so many emotions for him, and she wondered if it would ever end.

Finally, it grew too much for the blue-haired girl.

She loved him. But she was breaking, not knowing if he loved her back, or if...if...if he was just using her.

Was she growing too paranoid about it?

Perhaps.

Enough was enough.

The girl sat on her bed and sighed. She looked at the doll he gave her many months ago and spotted the clown mask laying beside it.

Grabbing the doll, she placed the clown mask on it.

Pierrot.

A fool.

Manipulated.

Maybe just like her?

She laughed bitterly. If he was really manipulating her, and all those things weren't just because they were "best friends", then this gift that he gave her...

Oh, the irony.

Was that how it was?

He didn't love her, but he was manipulating her...commanding her...pulling her strings to make her do his will.

She shook her head. The brown haired boy that she loved wouldn't do that.

Would he?

Her head hurt from too much thinking and wondering about it.

There was only one way to find out.

She bit her lip nervously. Could she do it? Could she confess to him?

What if their friendship shredded to pieces because he didn't like her back?

But...

What if he did like her back?

Her eyes widened.

But what if he lied to her and said he liked her back, but really didn't and would only use and manipulate her more knowing that she liked him?

The girl felt as if she was spinning back and forth. The thoughts whirled around in her brain.

Yes, no, manipulate...

Which was the correct answer?

Or was she just growing more paranoid by the second?

She made her decision when she had just turned eighteen.

"Eighteen years old...and already crazy."

The girl was positive. She had thought about this for months, and she was going to go through with her decision, whether she liked it or not.

She would confess to the brown haired boy.

The blue-haired girl would find out once and for all, if he loved her...or if he was just using her all this time.

If he was just manipulating her, why did she let him?

Oh right, she loved him too much. She followed him too blindly.

And that would end. Now.

"Hey!" Speak of the devil.

The brown haired boy walked next to her down the hall, wearing his usual grin and his eyes that seemed to sparkle whenever he saw her.

Or was that just her imagination?

"Hey," she replied back, forcing a small smile onto her face.

Now's the time.

"You busy this Saturday?" she asked him.

He shook his head. "Why, what's up? Did you want to see that new movie coming out this weekend?" He casually swung his arm around her shoulder as the two walked outside.

She could feel her breath hitch and she tried to relax. "Oh right, I almost forgot. We should watch it!"

She closed her eyes. "Also, there's something I need to tell you. Meet me by the park before the movie? Eleven o'clock?"

The bell rang, signaling that it was time to walk to their next class.

The boy winked at her and nodded. "Looking forward to it~" he sang as he headed towards his class.

The girl placed a hand on her chest and released a breath she hadn't realized she had held.

She did it.

Soon, she would know the answer.

Saturday came quicker than she expected.

She was restless the night before. It was as if her mind was somewhere else, and her body was just moving automatically.

Like pulling the strings of a doll.

The girl had accidentally turned on the cold water to the shower. She had accidentally used a fork instead of a spoon to eat her cereal. She accidentally put her clothes on backward, she almost forgot her cell phone.

She was out of the door in a daze, not even looking at the clock, and almost forgot which park to go to.

The girl gripped her hands on the bench firmly, her heartbeat running wildly and beads of sweat dropping down her forehead.

Today was the day, wasn't it?

How was she going to confess to him?

She didn't dare look up. She felt as though the people walking by were watching her.

Were they watching her?

Did they know?

That's impossible!

A passerby caught her eye. She turned away quickly, and he just shrugged it off and walked off to his companions. She heard them laugh.

Were they laughing at her?

The girl shook her head firmly. She was even more paranoid than usual today.

Where was he? The blue-haired girl took a look at her watch. It was almost eleven o'clock.

Wait.

But it felt like she had been there for hours.

Then it hit her.

She had arrived two hours early and had been waiting there, not realizing it.

The girl laughed. She was really going crazy today, wasn't she?

Five, four, three, two, one.

The hand on her watch hit eleven o'clock exactly.

She looked around, searching for the brown-haired boy.

And there he was, running at her and waving with that same smile on his face.

Her face broke into a smile as she waved back.

Then with a blink, he was next to her, and she realized it was the day to confess.

Breathing in and out the same time as the boy panted after running so fast, the two looked at each other.

This is it.

For a second, the girl stood still as she held her breath.

Maybe it would be better if she didn't try to find out?

No.

She had to do this.

For the sake of her love, and for her sanity.

The boy smiled at her, and she felt like she was going to break.

When she tells him, things will change. For good...or for bad.

"What's up?" he smiled. When he saw the look on her face, his face fell. He grew concerned.

"Hey, what's wrong...?" The girl could feel her eyes tear up.

I'm tired of this. I just want to know the answer.

"You..." the blue-haired girl smiled softly at the boy. "I like you."

But if you don't like me back...if you really are just manipulating me...

I guess I'm okay with that.

I love you.

It doesn't end there~ This is a three-shot!

(Oh, you thought this was a one-shot? Trolololol it's not over yet!)

Anyways. This is my first story for the Vocaloid fandom, I hope I did well. c: It's not exactly based like Karakuri Pierrot, just inspired and slightly based on it. So it might differ from the song a bit.

The next chapter will be up August 13, and the third part will be up September 13, unless I decide to be generous and give it early~

Thanks for reading~