In which Paulina is batshit insane. I don't own DP.

As far as bad weekends go, this one took the cake. Danny awoke to a bitter taste in his mouth, like a crude acidic mix between blood and ectoplasm. His arms were suspended awkwardly above his head. He tried to remember where he was. Going through the "Emergency Situation Protocols" his PE teacher had engraved in his mind.

He opened his eyes and the pounding in his head increased tenfold. The room was bright. Quickly, he shut his eyes again and groaned. The last thing he remembered was fighting the Box Ghost outside of a Mall parking lot. Interrupted while he was shopping for a gift for Sam's birthday, he remembered. Danny mumbled a curse under his breath. She was going to be so pissed. The Box Ghost...electricity, like one of his parent's inventions, and then lights out.

This wasn't getting him anywhere. He felt the roof of his mouth with his tongue, hoping for some moisture. What'd a guy have to do for a drink around here?

Step One: Assess the Situation

He opened his eyes again, blinking a few times as his eyes adjusted. There were posters on the wall, posters of...of him? He blinked again. He looked downwards. The bed he was sitting on was a light pink color. In fact, it hurt his eyes to stare at it for too long.

"I've been spending way too much time with Sam," he mused. Danny turned his head to the nightstand beside him, his face contorting into an expression of horror at the numerous Danny Phantom plushies that were scattered on it.

"I knew Vlad had issues, but this?"

Step Two: Solve the Problem

Danny turned his attention to the restraints around his wrists. Glowing green chains were looped around his hands, stuck tight to the headboard. He tried to move his wrists, but the chains didn't budge. Danny grimaced and looked around the room for something he could pick the lock with. He spotted a box of bobby pins on the dresser, but it was too far away. Even though he knew what the outcome would be, Danny tried to go intangible. A quick shock told him that these chains were ghost-proof. He sighed and closed his eyes, at a loss for what to do. Okay, maybe those "Emergency Situation Protocols" kinda sucked.

The door creaked open, just a bit, and Paulina stepped in with a tray of cookies. Her hair was up in a bun and she was in her pajama shorts and a blue t-shirt. Danny swallowed nervously.

"P-Paulina?"

"Ghost boy, you're awake!"

She ran to his side and cleared the nightstand of the plushies, putting the tray of cookies down.

"I know ghosts don't eat but," she picked up a cookie and put it up to Danny's face, "want some?"

Danny frowned and moved his head to the side, away from the cookie. "Uhm," he cleared his throat, "no thanks."

"Oh," Paulina sighed and put the cookie back on the tray. "I hope you're not mad at me. Did I hurt you? Dash promised me it wouldn't hurt you."

"What...what hit me?" he asked, his headache resurfacing at Paulina's shrill voice. She pulled out a glowing green net from under the bed, smiling. Danny flinched at the sight of it. He recognized it as one of his parent's.

"Just this! But don't worry, I won't use it on you again. Unless you misbehave."

"How'd you get all this?"

Paulina flicked her hand as if the question wasn't relevant.

"Dash stole it from some ghost hunter's house while being tutored. But that's enough out of you," she shoved a cookie into his mouth, silencing him. Danny scowled and spit out the cookie. It was burnt.

He was surprised when Paulina gasped and put a hand up to her mouth, feigning shock. Then her eyebrows pinched inwards in anger and she put her hand on her hip.

"Look what you've done to my bed! It's going to take me forever to wash that out! Look, there's even some blood—or ectogunk, whatever it's called!"

She backhanded him across the cheek, leaving an imprint of her tiny hand. She was a lot of stronger than he thought she'd be. Danny could only stare back in shock as Paulina crossed her arms.

"Hmph. I told you not to make me angry. And here I was, trying to be nice."

"Why'd you bring me here?" he asked when his voice came back to him. He licked at the little bit of blood on the inside of his cheek where Paulina had slapped him.

Paulina's features softened as she took a seat next to him.

"Because I love you, ghost boy. You're mine. Forever and ever." She slowly laid down on his lap, blinking up at him with full lashes. "Don't you love me too?"

Danny sputtered. "I hardly know you!"

"Oh, there'll be plenty of time to get to know each other." She ran a hand up and down his thigh. Danny fidgeted, trying to get her off him.

"Stop that!"

"I knew you'd be mine someday," she said dreamily. Her hand moved upwards towards his abdomen. She prodded at his stomach with a finger. "You're so firm."

Danny felt his face heat up in a blush. She was completely off her rocker, cuckoo, insane. Psycho ghosts he could deal with, but psycho teenage girls were in a whole 'nother ball park.

"You can't keep me here forever, Paulina," he said, realizing her intentions.

She sat up from her position, glaring at him. "I can do whatever I want."

"I need to protect the town."

"Others can do that."

"They're incapable."

"You're mine! You're not going anywhere, understand?"

He hadn't noticed she'd been inching closer to him the entire time, her nails digging into the bedsheets the angrier she got. She lifted a hand and grabbed his face, her other hand petting his hair.

"You belong here, with me. We were meant for each other." She closed her eyes and set her forehead against his, the ghost of a smile on her lips. "You'll see that soon enough."

Danny struggled to escape her grasp to no avail. She puckered her lips, her eyes half-lidded as she began to close the gasp between them. Danny did the only thing he could think of to get her off him. He spit on her, a big green and red monster that landed right on her cheek. She recoiled instantly.

"Oooooh!" she seethed, flicking the muck off her face. "Now you've done it!"

She stomped towards the door, shutting it behind her. Danny released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He had to get out of there—and quick. He struggled against the chains again. Maybe he could loosen them just a bit. A bit was all he needed. Danny struggled until his wrists were red and raw but the chains remained, not deterred even a bit. He tried to go intangible again and again, feeling weaker with every electric shock.

The situation was made even worse when Paulina came in holding a bowl.

Danny groaned and slammed his head against the headboard. "I said I'm not hungry!"

"Oh no," said Paulina sweetly. "This isn't for you to eat, silly!"

"Wha...?"

She set the bowl down by the bedside. Danny only caught a glimpse of it, a watery pink substance.

"What's that?"

"Blood Blossom extract," she smiled at him.

Danny felt his throat go dry when Paulina began soaking a rag in it. He already was beginning to feel the effect of the blossom's proximity as a dull ache under his skin."How did you know...?"

He let the question linger in the air. He'd always assumed Paulina didn't know the first thing about ghosts—or ghost hunting—for that matter. She folded the rag into a rectangle on her lap.

"Everyone thinks I'm stupid," she said, soaking the cloth in some more liquid, "But I'm not."

Then she put the Blood Blossom soaked rag on his eyes, and he screamed. His back arched in agony as the liquid seeped into his eye sockets, burning away tissue as it went. He reflexively tapped into his power of flight, hoping to get away from the pain, but the chains stopped any struggle and only intensified the agony.

"P-Paulina!" he screamed her name, hoping to invoke pity, but she just sighed next to him. The liquid was dripping down his face. He turned his head this way and that, hoping to throw the rag off, but it stayed put. It felt like his insides were being scorched, like the very skin of his face was being peeled off.

"Anyone ever tell you that you have a really sexy scream?"

His legs kicked out blindly in pain. He struggled fruitlessly against the chains and almost dislocated his shoulder in the process.

"I hate having to hurt you. Just tell me you're sorry and I'll make it stop."

"I-" his back arched again, his throat raw from screaming. "I'm sorry!"

"And you love me."

"I love you!"

Finally, she removed the rag from his face. He panted, trying to catch his breath. It still burned but not as intensely. He realized that the world was black. Danny opened and closed his eyes rapidly, only confirming his suspicion.

"I-I can't see. Paulina, I'm blind!"

He could feel her hovering above him. She touched his face and he flinched away.

"Yuck, that looks pretty nasty. But don't worry, you're already healing. You'll have your beautiful face back soon."

He heard her begin to walk out of the room, taking the bowl of hell-spawn-liquid with her. Paulina stood in the doorway, her hand hovering above the light switch.

"I have school tomorrow. Be good for me while I'm gone, and I promise that when you can see again, I'll pose in some of my most favoritest outfits for you, okay?"

Then she flicked off the lights and closed the door, leaving Danny alone with the sound of his ragged breathing.

Reviews would be loved! They're great motivators, y'know.