Her stage presence wasn't always the greatest, but when Jade had something to say concerning the state of her current ectobiology project, she could make up for her slightly-off posture and messy looks with the enthusiasm she possessed. "Three experiments are running as I speak," she gladly told the camera, "and all three will finish within three weeks of each other. One is being conducted in my lab, the other two on, uh, willing troll couples who sacrificed their time and possible well-being for the bettering of their race."

She twiddled her fingers at that point, looking down at the floor as if trying to conceal some sort of secret. When called out on this by the cameraman, she gave a concerned smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Well, neither couple was exactly willing, but I gave them the choice of this or being taken off government money, and they chose this." That wasn't how it went either, she remembered, but she wasn't going to tell the viewers of this update about how she threatened one couple with taking their dear apartment, and the other with the killing of their darling family pet.

The looks on all of their faces were still burned into her memory; she could clearly see Kanaya shaking her head before saying that they'd participate, earning herself a wide-eyed look from Eridan, and she could also remember Nepeta's teary exclamation that her and Karkat would take part, even though he stormed out of the room when she did so. Jade was smart enough to know what would get them to agree to it, and her plan had worked, down to the last small detail. She had just gotten back from New York City at the time this interview happened, having just started that third experiment (treatment number two, but number three took four weeks longer and was therefore occurring in the lab), and therefore remembered the incident in that apartment more than the one in the California home.

"You're goin' ta do wwhat?" Eridan had asked, grabbing Kanaya's hand. "Wwasn't your sick human-troll thing enough?"

Jade flashed him a genuinely goofy smile. "Didn't I tell you about this when I was here in January? I've got this needle, you see, and I need you to—"

"I remember this, and it's not happening. I don't care what we said then. It's not happening, and that's that. So what if you don't learn how well this form of troll reproduction works because of our denial." Kanaya, squeezing Eridan's hand, just gave Jade an icy stare. "We are not filling a bucket for you. You are not doing whatever it was you were going to do with said bucket. And, most of all, you are not sticking me with that needle."

"Well, you know what happens if you deny my experiment? We take your place." Jade crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. "This place becomes ours and you two and that kid of yours end up out on the street."

Even with the threat of homelessness hanging over his head, Eridan was set in his decision. "Wwe're not doin' it. That is fuckin' that. I don't care if you take our money, or our home, but as long as I havve Kan, you can take wwhatevver from me and I wwill be happy!"

"No..." Kanaya's voice got quiet, as she said things involving how this was the home that all their memories had happened in, and that losing it would be like losing a part of herself. She fell silent for a second, before shaking her head and saying, "We'll do it. It's not like we have any other choice."

"Kan, wwhat are you talkin' about? Wwe're not doin' it!" Eridan gave her a wide-eyed look, his mouth slightly open in shock. "There's no wway wwe are doin' this at all!"

She squeezed his hand again. "Yes we are. It won't be that bad, if losing this place is the alternative. We are supposed to be acclimating ourselves to human culture, and this is just another step to doing that." This was when she sighed. "Had we known that we'd be in this situation eighteen years ago, we might not have gotten ourselves wrapped up in it, but now we have to continue this transition to becoming gray-skinned, horned humans."

"No, silly, there are no such things as gray-skinned and horned humans!" Jade exclaimed, correcting the mistake. "There are gray-skinned humans, but none with horns. If you mix human and troll genes, the horns are eliminated, but the resulting child has a grayish tint to their skin that proves they're half-breeds." From the bag on her shoulder, she pulled out a long needle. "But since you're both trolls, we've got to worry about those pesky horns, now don't we?"

The cameraman, noticing Jade's trip down memory lane, asked her to talk about what she was thinking of. "Oh, just one of the reactions to this experiment," she lied. "When I talked to one of the groups about taking them off of the government money, they freaked out and said I was trying to destroy their life, when I'm really just doing what the government asks of me."

That wasn't how it went, even if she didn't remember exact specifics. She had explained the process by which the experiment would occur, and all she had gotten in response were blank, disgusted looks. "I'm going to have to watch, yeah," she said, a tiny bit of disgust in her voice, "but that's because no buckets are involved and I have to know if you're doing it like I'm telling you to."

"Fuck no, Jade. We're not even going to think about it." Karkat lifted his fist in a threat to punch her. "That is disgusting and you are fucking nasty for even suggesting it."

"It's not like I haven't seen troll naughties before! It's not even that interesting to me anymore, to be honest. So yeah, you guys are built differently than humans, but it's not like I'm a sick freak who gets off on looking at you guys." She sighed, before looking behind the two trolls that stood before her and spying the blind gray cat that lived with them. "But, let's make a deal. If you don't do this for me, I'll take Fluffy with me, and make myself a little wall ornament."

Nepeta's eyes widened and tears began streaming down her face at the mere mention of killing her cat. "We will do whatever you want us to! Just don't hurt Fluffy!" Karkat stormed out then, cursing up a storm about how "fucked up" the whole situation was.

"Yeah, doing experiments because the government wants to make the trolls pretty much humans is fun, but it's really hard sometimes." Jade laughed, giving both the camera and the man controlling it a big smile. "Especially since this one is going to end with me doing the work both in the lab and the field completely alone." She could feel her eyes tearing up just thinking about that, but she pushed the sad thoughts aside. "It's going to be a lot of fun, though!"

"Oh, mister nubby horns, you're awake and ready to play, aren't you?" Karkat groaned and put a pillow over his head, trying to drown out Nepeta's cutesy talking. "Well, come on and let's go, so we can get to know each other even better!" He felt the weight shifting on the bed, and once she was up and out of the room, he removed the pillow and got up himself. He went to follow her into the sunny living room, but a meow caught his attention. Right in front of his feet stood Fluffy, blindly walking around in search of him.

"Come here, you dumb cat," he said, picking her up and scratching behind her ears. "We've got to test out your little talent, okay?" She purred, and he set her down. When her paws hit the floor she broke into a run, straight into a different room, where the computer was. Karkat smiled, following the cat inside, where he was very happy to notice Fluffy pressing a button that illuminated the screen. "Good job, cat. If something happens, you've got to do that for me. Understand?" The cat mewled and hit the button again, and an empty shot of Jade's ectobiology lab appeared on screen. "Glad she's not there. I'd rather not talk to her right now. Shut it down."

Fluffy hit the button again and it all slowly turned off. "Very good job, cat. You've got the power to save your mom right there." Karkat picked the cat up again and carried her out of the room, putting her down in the bedroom before going out into the living room, where Nepeta was sitting, but he didn't even pay attention to her. Instead he went into the kitchen, pulling out some bread and putting it in the toaster. "You want anything, Nepeta?" he asked.

"No, Karkitty! Me and mister nubby horns are fine out here!"

When his toast was done, he pulled it out and quickly ate it, and finally went into the room to join Nepeta on the couch. "Good. That toast was shit."

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad!" she said, leaning over to rest her head on him. "Besides, me and mister nubby horns probably wouldn't like the food if we had it. He's kind of mean when it comes to letting me eat." Karkat felt the smile on his lips, and he looked at his beautiful girlfriend for the first time all morning. Well, he thought she was beautiful. She would have argued that she looked horrible.

"How's he treating you today? You mentioned something about him wanting to play? What's up with that?" His eyes focused on hers, before slowly moving down her body. There was nothing really to comment on until he got down to the top of her very swollen stomach, where a small little bulge was poking out. "Ugh, he's living up to his nubby horn name, isn't he?"

She squealed and put her hand over the bulge, trying to push it back in. "Yes, but...it doesn't hurt too bad! He's just playing around today. I wish Jade had warned me that this would happen, though, I don't like it..."

"Yes, well, she was too busy starting this experiment to warn you about all the fucking side effects. Then again, it's been for-fucking-ever since she started it."

"Two weeks until it's over, Karkitty!" she purred, pressing her cheek up against his shoulder. "Two weeks until we're done and we have mister nubby horns to hold and care for!"

He groaned, shaking his head. "That's two weeks too long for me. Fuck, why did we agree to this damn situation? I'm tired of you being huge and bitchy and not the Nepeta I love."

"I'm tired of not being myself." Nepeta yawned, pushing down harder on her stomach. "And I'm tired of his nubby horns poking me." She sat there for a moment, pushing against the horn that was trying to poke through, before realizing everything that Karkat had said. "Hey, wait! I'm not bitchy! I'm quite the opposite of bitchy, really!"

"Sure you are. I wish I could believe that, except I've heard all your complaining and whining and, sorry to say, you're really bitchy now. I just can't wait for that to be over. Getting to actually take care of a grub and not the beast you've dubbed 'mister nubby horns' will be nice."

"But he actually is a grub!" She grabbed Karkat's hand and put it under hers, which she then pressed down with. "See, don't you feel his horn?"

Karkat sighed. "Yes, I feel his horn. It's nubby, just like mine. Wait, that's where you got the fucking bright idea to call him mister nubby horns. I forgot." The use of sarcasm made him laugh, but Nepeta was not pleased with it. "Oh, sorry, did I hurt your feelings? Didn't mean to."

"You're a jerk sometimes, Karkat. But a good jerk. I'm glad that I'm doing this with you by my side. You've made this experience actually bearable." She snuggled close to him, before jerking upright abruptly. "Gah, that hurts. Stop it, nubby."

"Nepeta, is something wrong?" Karkat asked, to which she shook her head and smiled. "Okay, well, if he's hurting you, I'd go lay down in bed and see if that helps. I'll just be out here getting some work done. Fluffy will keep you company."

She stood up. "Thanks, Karkat. I love you." With that, she made her waddling way to the bedroom, leaving Karkat alone on the couch, his head full of all the possible things that could be wrong. But Jade hadn't warned them about anything, so he figured that the grub was just being active, and tried to push the thoughts out of his mind.

The hum of the computers behind her, Jade tried to focus on the book she was reading, but all her mind was drifting to was whether or not she should check on her experiments. After all, just the day before, her perfect timing of four "lives" in four weeks had been cruelly shot in the foot. Well, to be honest, it had been shot down months before, when she had been shown the ultrasound that spelled disaster to not only her timing, but her dreams of maybe one day getting to be romantically linked to John.

"Can you believe it, Jade?" he had asked, when she had given it back to him. "Guess it's gonna be five lives in four weeks, huh?"

"Five lives...yeah. Congrats, bro." She remembered crying about it that night, while he was upstairs going on and on about how he was "so excited" that him and Rose, his wife of a good five years, would be adding not just one, but two little lives to their family. Those tears had hurt more than anything, more than watching him get married or any of that. She remembered being upset, and wanting to taint the experiment because of it, but this experiment was more than just creating lives because John had. It was helping a species flourish.

And there she sat, reading the book about island flora and fauna, listening to the computers, and thinking about how her timing was ruined. Now there wasn't going to be exactly a week between them all ending, she realized. The lab-based one was to end a week from that day, with the one in California ending a week after that, and then the New York one ending a week after that. Perfectly planned, except for the entrance of the Egbert twins weeks earlier than expected.

A loud and unexpected beep broke Jade from her brooding, and she jumped up, spinning to face her incubation chamber, where her replica troll female body was resting. She had created that with the help of the mother grub, which still sat in its normal spot, having never once moved in the fifteen years it had been in the lab. "Okay, what's going on with you today, little grub baby," she said to herself, lifting the shade that enveloped the chamber. "Can't be anything too bad, because..."

Her words trailed off as she looked at the sight that awaited her.

The grub that she had been using as her experiment had chewed itself out of the replica troll, and was staring at her with large eyes, its face and horns covered in its "mother's" blood, its transparent body allowing her to see all the blood that was pooled underneath it. "Oh my god, what happened? You weren't supposed to come until next week! Did I mess up my calculations? Is...is this how you guys are going to get out of your mothers?" Her eyes widened and her face paled. "Fuck! I have two trolls out there that are about to face-"

She was cut off by one of her computer screens turning on by itself, and a grainy picture of a green blob appearing on it. As the picture became clearer, the look on Jade's face became more and more horrified. The blob was a cat, a normally gray cat named Fluffy, that was coated in its owner's blood. "Oh no. No no no. Fluffy, please don't be actually covered in Nepeta's blood...please don't..."

"Jade? Jade can you hear me?" The voice belonged to Karkat, and it was shaky and panicked. "Jade, I just walked into my bedroom and Nepeta's dead and there's a grub and I don't know what to do. What's going on?"

She closed her eyes for a second, feeling the tears welling up in them. "Karkat," she finally said, "I'm so sorry. I'll be there right away."

"No, tell me what's going on. Why is she dead? Why is my matesprit fucking dead?"

"Because I miscalculated somewhere. The grub was ready and we weren't. I'm really sorry for your loss, but I need to to take care of that grub while I get down there. I know, you won't want to handle it because it's the reason Nepeta's dead, but you have to. It's part of her."

She heard him swallow deeply before speaking again. "You better get down here and explain yourself."

"I will, I will." And in the panic of this actually having happened, Jade completely forgot that she did have another couple to warn about this cruel fate.

Two weeks passed, and not a single word was ever told to Eridan and Kanaya about what had happened to Nepeta. In fact, they were never even warned that there was a very negative outcome that was possible. They had just been living their lives as normally as possible, and on that night that marked the two week anniversary of where it all went wrong, they were finally given a little bit of insight.

"Yes, wwhat do you wwant?" Eridan asked, answering the phone when he saw that it was Jade calling.

"Listen, I know tonight's a big night and everything, but I really need you guys to get out here like, now." There was, like when she was speaking to Karkat through the computer, panic in Jade's voice. "There's something that might happen as early as tonight, and I need to be there to prevent it from happening."

Eridan paid no attention to the worry. "Wwhat? Wwe're not missin' this. Wwe'vve spent fourteen years raisin' the kid. Wwe aren't missin' his promotion thing."

"Yes, I understand, your son moving from middle to high school is a big deal, but I'd think the life of your unborn grub would be more important."

"Jade Harley, you tell me wwhy you think that something that isn't evven alivve yet is more important than wwhat is, or I wwill hang up."

She groaned. "Okay, you know what? There will be a car waiting outside Ayanak's school. He gets his award thing, you go out there and get in it. There is no time to wait for all his friends or whatever. You need to get out here as soon as possible, and by going to that, you might be fucking yourselves over."

"Yes, wwell, right noww, his promotion thing is important. Wwe'll see him, and then wwe'll go see you. Fair enough?"

"Yes. Now don't fuck it up, Eridan. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but Kanaya's life hangs in the balance here." Without another word, Jade hung up, leaving the troll to shake his head.

"What's wrong? Did she want us to miss the promotion?" Kanaya slowly asked, her breathing a bit labored as she tried to situate herself comfortably. "Because we aren't. I'll be fine long enough to go to that. Little grub's getting kind of mean now. I don't think it likes being in there anymore."

He shook his head and set down his phone. "She wwants us to leavve as soon as Ayanak gets his awward thing. Wwish wwe could wwarn him that wwe wwon't be there after to take pictures, but wwhatevver. She sounded a bit frantic."

"She's probably just worrying about me. No big deal." She leaned back in her chair and smiled. "I mean, she should worry about me. I'm one of her precious experiments. I mean the world to her."

"No, you mean the wworld to me." He reached over to her and laid his hand on her stomach. "And not just because of the grub in there. Because of evverything wwe'vve done the past many years."

From down the hall, a short, small-horned, gray-skinned boy came walking. "Ugh, why do I have to wear a tie?" he asked loudly, startling Kanaya. "I hate dressing up. Can't you guys just take me with you and let me miss this thing?"

"Ayanak, no, wwe can't. You can handle this."

"But Dad, I can't! Didn't you hear about what happened to the Strider kid at his promotion? That was terrible! I don't want to be booed like he was, just because I'm not human!"

Recovering from being startled, Kanaya said, "Come on, Ayanak, at least your friends think your name is that ridiculous Aaron. I cannot believe they have bought that we have human names. Does your father look like an Eddie to you? And me, do I look like a Kristen or whatever it is they call me?"

"No, Mom, you don't...okay, fine. I'll do it and get on the plane after and go visit Justice and his dad and everything, and then you guys will come get me there and you'll have the new grub and we'll be a happy family." Ayanak smiled, before kissing his mom on the cheek. "I'm gonna get ready and then DaShaun's parents should be here to take me to the school. I can't believe I'm going to be done with middle school!"

"Wwe can't believve it either, son," Eridan said, his heart warm with the fact that he could call that kid, who they had raised from an egg that had only survived because of being stuffed in Kanaya's shirt, his son. "Noww go get ready, Remember that wwe're proud of you."

That night, sitting in the middle school gym watching little Ayanak, the smallest in his class, walk across the stage to get his award, everything seemed fine. But the moment they got up to leave, Eridan grabbing Kanaya's hand to help her down the stairs from their seats, something seemed wrong. She was complaining about hurting really badly, and it just didn't sit right with Eridan. When they got to the floor, they both made eye contact with Ayanak, who showed them his award, labled with his real name, not his fake human one, and they tried to smile, but the worry was too strong.

"Mom!" he shouted, jumping from his seat, disrupting the ceremony. He didn't care though, and he made it to where Kanaya was barely standing, her body shaking from all the pain she was in. "Mom, you need to leave. Now."

"I know, but it hurts. It really does. Help me out, will you?"

The little boy nodded, and he grabbed her other hand, and together, the three of them made it outside. "Mom, Dad, I love you guys," he said, kissing both of them, "but I need to get back in there. I'll see you guys again in Texas!" And with that, he ran back inside and they were left looking for the car Jade had sent for them.

By the time they had found it and were situated inside, Kanaya was complaining about how much more it was hurting. Her complaints got louder and more violent the whole way to the airport, before she fell oddly silent. In the dark, Eridan couldn't see her, but he could smell something that he shouldn't have been.

Blood.

"Kan? Kan, tell me wwhat's wwrong!" he shouted. "Are you okay?"

"It hurts, Eridan...feels like it's ripping right through me..."

He fumbled through his pocket for his phone, and when he had it, he used it to illuminate the scene. There, instead of the floral front of Kanaya's dress, was a stain of jade green blood and the sight of two horns. "Uh, Kan? It feels like it because it is. Let me call Jade and ask her wwhat to do."

"Hurry up, please! It's getting worse, and everything's starting to become unbearable!"

The number he needed was on speed dial, and he pressed the phone to his ear as soon as it was connected. When she picked up, he quickly said, "Wwhen wwere you gonna wwarn us it wwas gonna tear through her, and wwhat do wwe do?"

"Eridan...I'm so sorry...there's nothing we can do now. You need to get here. Keep her alive. That's all I can say."

Between the sobs that Jade was emitting and the breathing from Kanaya that was quickly growing faint, Eridan truly felt lost. "Wwill she be alivve wwhen wwe get there?"

"Will she? If you keep her alive."

Her hand reached for him, and he gave her his. "I can't believve this. I'm going to lose her, and it's your fault! Wwhat do I tell Ayanak? That you killed his mom?"

"I'm not going to die...but I am going to sleep..." Kanaya's eyes closed and her grip on Eridan's hand weakened until her fingers were no longer strong enough to hold his. He looked at her, listened more to the cries coming from Jade, and promptly burst into tears. Meanwhile, that pesky grub made its way out of its mother's body, completely covered in the green blood. Its eyes focused on Eridan, and it opened its mouth, squeaking in response to seeing him.

"Wwhat, you're alivve? Get awway from me, you dirty creature!" he hissed, picking it up and throwing it to the floor, where it began to squeal and cry. "Wwait...Kan! I just hurt our grub! I'm sorry!" He bent over and picked it up, putting it back on its mother. "There. All better."

When they got to the airport and the car was lit up, he saw the gaping hole in Kanaya's abdomen and realized just how far from better it really was.

A/N: I know I am cruel for even writing that, but, hey. It wanted to be written, and that's how it shall be.

I don't own Homestuck because I am not Andrew Hussie.

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