Summary: Castiel is a lonely angel residing in Heaven, his only companion his loyal mud-monkey, Dean. When Castiel meets important Gabriel and his frisky pet Sam, something ensues. AU Sam/Dean Gabriel/Castiel unrelated slash.

A/N: I do claim to have an excuse for writing this, but I won't bother with it here. I just want to point out that this is an aberration, I don't know WHAT I was thinking when I wrote it, and I'm posting it for a bet. Chapter one is harmless but it does get naughty. I apologize in advance for the candid language. It's meant to be humorous. Please don't read if easily offended.

This story takes place in an earthlike Heaven where the people are angels and mud-monkeys (ref. S04E07) are simple humans. Everyone looks exactly like they do on the show. No furry beasts here.

A Walkies On The Wild Side (Part 1 of 5) by frostygossamer

Castiel was a lonely singleton angel who lived in a small apartment in Holy City, Heaven. His only company was his faithful pet mud-monkey, Dean.

The angel was shy. His pet suited him. Normally placid and quiet, loyal Dean only showed aggression when he needed to protect his master. He was very protective of Castiel. The angel suspected Dean was lonely too. But he was very glad to have him. At least they had each other.

Castiel worked hard on his Father's business, and was in the office nine to five. He felt a little guilty leaving Dean alone in the apartment all day so, on weekends, he liked to take him for a nice walk in the Elysian Fields to get a little fresh air, to stretch their legs and to watch the happy people of Heaven enjoying themselves. Dean liked walking. It was his second favourite thing to do, after eating.

~xXx~

Castiel woke up early Saturday morning and jumped out of bed laughing. Dean, who had been sleeping in his basket in the corner of the bedroom, opened an unimpressed eye at his master's antics.

"Saturday morning," Castiel exclaimed. "The Elysian Fields await. Chop-chop!"

Dean stretched and stepped out of his bed yawning. Castiel showered and dressed hastily, anxious to be out and about. He stuffed a piece of toast in his mouth as he did up his tie. Dean's breakfast was the usual lamb-burger and saucer of cream. The angel looked out of the window assessing the weather. It looked like a fine day in Heaven.

"No need for a coat today, I think," Castiel told Dean as he clipped his leash to the mud-monkey's collar.

Dean was relieved. Coats were scratchy things and he preferred, like all mud-monkeys, to go as nature intended, in the buff. Castiel opened the door and they stepped out into paradise.

~xXx~

Castiel's heart swelled as they entered the Elysian Fields park. The sun was shining and the park was full of happy cherubs and loving couples. It was a favourite place for angels to walk their pets. He let Dean off his leash and the mud-monkey shuffled around snuffling and checking out the area for unsafe things.

Suddenly there was a shout, "Sam!", and a humongous mud-monkey thundered into Castiel, crashing him down to the ground and licking his face sloppily. He had been running free, off the leash, and was pursued by an embarrassed angel who called him repeatedly in mounting vexation. As soon as he heard his master calling 'Sam' bounded away.

"Sam! Sam! For Father's sake, come back here you bad mudder!"

The embarassed angel was a neat little guy with an exasperated expression on his face. The moment he spotted Castiel sprawled on the ground he hurried on over.

"Oh my Father! I am SO sorry," he exclaimed offering his hand and hauling Castiel back up onto his feet. "The silly creature was just trying to be friendly but he doesn't know his own strength sometimes. Sure hope you're not hurt."

Castiel smiled as he dusted himself down.

"It's fine," he said. "No harm done."

"I'm Gabriel, by the way," the little guy continued, and Castiel noticed suddenly that he was wearing the cheekiest grin.

"Castiel," Castiel responded, shaking the newcomer's hand.

"How about I buy you an ambrosia by way of apology?" Gabriel asked. "Soon as I round up Mr. Frisky, that is."

Castiel smiled again and gave a little nod. "Sure," he agreed. "Why not?"

As Gabriel sped away in pursuit of his errant pet, Castiel glanced down at Dean who was sitting by his feet with a scowl on his face and his lip slightly curled.

"Seems like a nice guy?" Castiel commented.

Dean growled softly.

~xXx~

A few minutes later the two angels were sitting in the Elysium Cafe drinking ambrosia lattes and talking about life. Like Castiel, Gabriel worked for their Father. Unlike Castiel, who laboured in a humdrum actuarial capacity, Gabriel's work meant that he did a lot of travelling, around Heaven and Earth also.

Castiel was impressed. He had visited Earth three, or four times tops, in his existence but had never had much to do there, except observe and report back to his Father. Gabriel was on a higher paygrade than Castiel, an archangel. Apparently, he was a fixer although, he was willing to admit, often more of a meddler.

"So you've been entrusted to carry out our Father's will on Earth?" Castiel asked enviously.

"Oh sure," Gabriel said airily. "All the time. But what I really love is when he grants me free rein to use my own initiative. I have some little tricks I like to try sometimes."

Castiel smiled. "I, uh, I wish I got to do stuff like that. Of course, my own alloted role is an important one in the great scheme of things, I guess. But it would be nice sometimes to..."

"Have a little fun?" Gabriel suggested.

They both chuckled. "Exactly," Castiel agreed.

When they had both finished their drinks Castiel excused himself.

"Well, I suppose I'd better get on," he said, rising from the table while simultaneously searching for his wallet.

Gabriel put his hand on his arm. "No, no," he insisted. "My treat, remember?"

Castiel chuckled. "Oh yes, indeed," he agreed. "Thank you."

"No. Thank YOU," Gabriel responded. "I've enjoyed our little chat very much," then he added. "I suppose you come to the park every Saturday?"

Castiel nodded. "Most," he said. "And sometimes during the week also. A mud-monkey the size of Dean needs plenty of exercise."

"Don't I know it," Gabriel laughed. "My guy was practically bouncing off of the walls this morning. He's some handful."

"I can imagine," Castiel commented.

"So... maybe we'll bump into each other again next week?" Gabriel asked.

"Maybe," Castiel allowed. "But hopefully not as big a bump next time."

They both laughed as they walked outside and collected their pets from the railing in front of the cafe. Dean and Sam were sitting there, facing different ways, ignoring each other in silence. The two angels took their respective pets, said goodbye one last time and departed in opposite directions.

"He really was a nice guy," Castiel remarked to Dean as they walked home.

Dean grumbled to himself.

~xXx~

Dean's Flashback...

After successfully luring Sam back to the leash, Gabriel took Castiel to the Elysian Fields' famous Elysium Cafe. Being a high-class establishment pets were not allowed on the premises, so the two angels tied their mud-monkeys to the railing that ran across the front of the building.

Castiel hated to leave Dean tied up outside like that, because he knew he didn't like it. Pets never did. They went inside with Gabriel and chose a table by the window, so he could keep one eye on Dean.

Dean and Sam, as dutiful pets, had sat calmly and quietly while they were tied up to the rail. After their masters went inside they assumed the conventional attitudes.

There were two approaches to waiting for your master.

The first was the Red Alert approach: stand erect and crane your head to try and glimpse your master inside the building. This helps to make you look like a devoted pet, but it can attract the misguided pity of passer-by angels who will attempt to TALK to you, thus spoiling your concentration.

The second was the Sleep approach: lay down on the ground and feign sleep. This discourages passers-by but it can make it look like you really don't care, which is NEVER true.

Sam opted for the red alert while Dean flopped his bare butt on the ground and closed his eyes. After ten minutes Sam was already bored and he turned to address Dean.

"He's an archangel, you know," he said proudly.

Dean opened one eye and considered whether a reply was worthwhile.

"Who?" he finally asked.

"My master," Sam supplied. "He's important. Therefore I'm important."

Dean snorted. "Dude, you're not important. You're a muddie like me."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "But I'm an important muddie. What are you?"

"Loyal. That's what I am," Dean replied defensively.

Sam chuckled. "We're ALL loyal, mudz," he asserted. "That's what muddies are good at."

Dean scoffed. "You're a bad muddie anyways," he murmured inaudibly.

"What?" Sam demanded. "What did you say?" Suddenly he felt annoyed. "Dude, what did you call me?"

Dean drew himself up on his hands and knees. "Called you a bad muddie," he said. "Freakin' noisy. That's what YOU are."

It was Sam's turn to snort. "Noisy is what a good muddie should be. Protectin'. That's what I'm for. And protectin' is freakin' noisy."

"Not necessarily," Dean maintained. "Sometimes you gotta be sneaky."

Sam blew his bangs out of his eyes.

"Sneaky is no good when you're big. Big ain't sneaky," he pointed out.

Dean eyed him up and down. "Dude, you're WAY too big. That's for sure," he declared.

"I'm just big enough," Sam retorted, a mite nettled. "YOU are small."

"Am NOT small," Dean yelped, bristling.

How could Dean be small? He knew FOR A FACT that laying down he was at least two inches LONGER even than his master. And his master was perfect. So how could Dean be SMALL?

Dean growled. "Freakin' monster," he spit.

"Back off, dude," Sam barked squaring up to him confrontationally.

At that point a passing female angel saw fit to intervene.

"Now, now," she said, in a calming tone of voice. "What's going on here? You two boys having a little tiff?"

Both mud-monkeys instantly stepped right down to DEFCON 5. This new arrival might have food after all.

"There now," the lady said warmly. "That's better."

Her hand hovered for a moment over her purse and the mud-monkeys stared up expectantly. But she simply snapped the purse shut, smiled and when on her way.

The creatures were disappointed. They stared at each other coolly for a moment then simultaneously decided on the 'cold shoulder' as the best tactic. They turned their faces in opposite directions.

Right then Castiel and Gabriel came out of the cafe to retrieve them.

...End of Flashback

~xXx~

Over the next few weeks Castiel and his new friend Gabriel 'bumped' into each other almost every Saturday. In fact, shooting the breeze over an ambrosia in the Elysium Cafe became something Castiel looked forward too. It was nice to have a friend outside work. A proper friend, not just a workmate. Gabriel had a lively sense of humour and was fun to be with.

One Saturday Castiel was running a little late.

"Come on, Dean," he said, as he bustled about getting ready. "If we don't hurry we'll miss Gabe. Don't you want to see Gabe? Don't you want to play with your new friend Sam?"

Dean rolled his eyes. Sam was one of those mud-monkeys that were hard to take for too long. Sure he was 'fun', the big lunk, but he tired Dean out. He was always wanting to run around and chase things when all Dean wanted to do was sit quietly and guard his master.

Sam was full of energy, jumping and vocalizing and pushing Dean about like some huge puppy. Sometimes Dean just wanted to bite him and see how he liked that. Only Sam was such a harmless goofball and Dean wasn't really a biter.

~xXx~

Castiel was anxious to get to the park early because he had decided to prepare a picnic for him and his new friend Gabriel. He was hoping to run into him before he got to the cafe.

They set off along the main pathway. The one where he usually 'ran into' Gabriel on a Saturday stroll. Dean was trotting ahead keeping a wary eye open because Castiel was carrying a picnic basket replete with food, a very precious cargo in Dean's estimation. Gabriel came striding toward them with a big smile on his face.

"What do you have there, Cas?" he asked noticing his heavy burden. "Let me carry that for you."

Despite being the smaller of the two angels, Gabriel liked to be gallant around Castiel. Castiel smiled and let him take one of the handles of the basket.

"Thought I'd bring along a little picnic today," he explained. "It's so nice it seemed a shame to go eat indoors."

"Great idea," Gabriel agreed enthusiastically. "Know just the spot."

Dean scanned the park. Something was missing. Oh yes, where in Heaven was that big lummox Sam? Wasn't he always with his master? He turned and jogged obediently after Castiel as Gabriel led him away, wondering whether it was a good or bad thing that Sam wasn't about.

"No Sam today?" Castiel had barely asked when "Wallop!" something very like a freight train collided with Dean, spinning him around.

If Dean hadn't been on super-alert he would probably have been knocked flat just like his master was the other day. As it was his hackles were already rising when he came around face to face with an overheated Sam carrying a huge throwstick in his mouth.

"Ah, there he is," Gabriel sang cheerfully. "I'd only just thrown that damn thing when I saw you."

Castiel took a blanket from his picnic basket and spread it on the ground for the two angels to sit on. Gabriel set Sam's throwstick on the ground beside him and helped himself to sandwiches. Castiel gave the two mud-monkey's their food and then settled down to drink nectar tea and admire the view with his friend.

~xXx~

After they had guzzled their food, Sam wanted Dean to play. In Sam's book, play mostly meant running. He ran round and around Dean until he got him all hot and bothered and then he took off, an angry Dean in pursuit, stopping every so often to wait grinning until Dean caught up. Otherwise the shorter muddie could never have kept up with Sam and his long legs. But then the frisky muddie wasn't trying to get away. Sam wanted to be caught.

When he came to the edge of a little copse Sam stopped and flung himself on the ground watching Dean. Dean ran up and collapsed on the grass panting heavily. He couldn't hide it. He was enjoying all this running about. He never got to run this much normally. Sam rolled over a couple times until he was laying next to Dean, the damp grass feeling wonderfully cool on their sweaty, naked bodies.

"Fun?" he gasped.

"Yeah," Dean panted in response.

Suddenly Sam grabbed Dean and rolled them over a couple times until he was laying on top of the smaller muddie, skin to skin.

"Friends?" he asked.

Dean tried weakly to push him off, but Sam was too big and Dean was too worn out with running, so he gave in.

"Sure," he agreed. "But me I'm gonna be Alpha."

Sam tilted his head and regarded him for a moment.

"OK sure," he said, grinning, then he jumped up and ran off.

Dean lay there for another minute getting his breath back then returned to lay down beside Castiel on the edge of his picnic blanket. Sam turned up a few minutes later and fell in a boneless heap on top of him.

Castiel and Gabriel hardly noticed they were there. The two angels were so captivated by each other's company.

~xXx~

The following week Gabriel rang Castiel and arranged for him to come over for dinner. A romantic dinner the angel hoped.

Castiel took ages getting dressed for his rendezvous. He was very nervous. It had been a very long time since he had been on a real date.

Dean sat patiently and watched his master try on one outfit after another. They all looked OK to him. Not that Dean really approved of clothes. Mud-monkeys didn't wear them. Clothes were uncomfortable and restricted your movements, plus how were you supposed to recognize each other when your bodies were covered up?

Dean was occasionally made to wear a coat in very cold weather, and he put up with it for his master's sake, but he really didn't like it. He felt better, and he knew he looked better, naked. He knew Sam would agree with him. Sam looked exceptionally good and he was always naked.

~xXx~

They arrived at Gabriel's door right on time. Gabriel opened the door with a radiant smile on his face. The smell of a delicious meal followed him out into the evening air. Dean inhaled deeply.

"Come right on in," Gabriel said, waving his guests inside. "I was just about to put on a little mood music."

Castiel smiled shyly. "That would be nice," he said. "Wouldn't it, Dean?"

Dean made a noncommittal sound. Like he cared. He was partial to a bit of noise now and again, like the heavy rock Castiel's neighbours sometimes chose to play as three in the morning, but most angel plinkety-plonking left him cold.

Gabriel had made a sumptuous meal. Or rather he had warmed up a sumptuous meal ordered in from his favourite fancy-pants eatery. Not that Castiel noticed. He was too wrapped up in the sparkling conversation.

After many years serving his Father as an archangel and His messenger on Earth, Gabriel was a mine of amusing anecdotage. Castiel lapped up all his tales, laughed at all his jokes and found himself mesmerized by his beautiful amber eyes. Time flew by forgotten.

~xXx~

Dean and Sam were sitting under the diningroom table, as per usual. Dean sat beside Castiel's legs waiting hopefully for his master to pass him a morsel of food, but the angel's attention was riveted by his host's conversation.

When Sam nudged his shoulder, Dean glanced at him irritatedly. Sam made the come-with-me signal with his eyes and started to crawl away. Dean glanced at his master once more hopefully then gave up and rose to his hands and knees, crawling after his fellow. They sneaked out of the room on the angels' blind side and headed towards the stairs.

Sam paused half way up the stairs, looking back to check the Dean was following him. Dean sat at the bottom step staring suspiciously at the second floor landing, unsure if it was allowed for mud-monkeys to be up there unaccompanied. Sam made the come-on gesture again, more urgently this time, and disappeared upstairs. Reluctantly Dean followed Sam's pink heinie up to the second floor.

Sam led Dean along the upstairs corridor, past his master's bedroom and the gurgling bathroom, to a spare room in back. He nudged the door open just a little and slipped inside the unlit room. Dean was on his heals.

TBC

A/N: So far so innocent. Chapter two will up the rating.